Chapter 82: Explosion
[Edited by: ArchmageNaoki, deathbricks, Arthur300000, and Bunny ]
“Five minutes left.” A member of the examination staff announced, and I had a lot of these headache-inducing questions left for me to work on.
I felt sour and began to panic a bit, because even with a slow time dragon shout mad dashing across the town, I still arrived ten minutes late after the test started. Well, I should have arrived a lot earlier, but I disagreed with Skynet and tried to find a shortcut which cost me ten minutes more than it would need.
Luckily, the staff still allowed me to enter while I breathe roughly and sweat profusely at a sub-zero temperature. They didn’t allow Skynet to come with me though. Isn’t she also a part of my fighting strength? ‘This was an unfair test setup.’ I complained in my mind.
To make it worse, I have never used this test program that runs on the touch screen cum table surface at all, which made me waste even more time trying to figure out how to use it. I even had to asked the staff about how to bring a keyboard up on the screen so I could type my answer.
Question 43: A wild ghost appears. What do you do?
There was also a lot to complain about in regards to the exam, both style and content. What’s with this ‘A wild ghost appeared.’ sentence? With this type of style, would it be proper to answer it with something like ‘Go for it Pikachu!’, right?
Also, about its content, a ghost, huh? Are they trying to scare off beginner adventurers? There are a lot of things scarier than that like, poverty, stray dogs, and food past its expiry date for example. “Bombard it with spells until it submits.” I typed in as an answer.
“30 seconds remaining” An announcement from the table surface caused me to panic. Holy mother of panties, I wasted too much time. There were another seven questions left.
In the moment of panic, a ray of inspiration hit me. You see, if I send empty answers, I wouldn’t gain any points in those questions, right? So, it would be better to put something, rather than leaving nothing in the form. My mind went into overdrive and began to work like an athlete on steroids.
“Ten seconds remaining” Another synthesised voice came to put pressure on me. However, the words were already starting to flow through my fingers as an untapped potential had rushed through me like a broken dam. Without reading what it asked, I typed the word ‘Fight!’ into the first box and clicked next with the speed beyond any human capability. If anyone was to look at me in this moment they would have only see the after images of my fingers.
However, the next question stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t use the same word as the previous question, right? If I did that, the fact that I randomly typed my answer would surely be exposed.
“Five seconds remain.” I gritted my teeth and tried to vary my answers to the best of my ability.
“Four!” I wrote in the word ‘Kill!!!’ and clicked Next. Wait, most of those previous questions were about tactics to defeat monsters. Maybe I should’ve answered according to that theme.
“Three!” I quickly typed in ‘Shoot its legs off and run away.’ and ‘Shoot them in the head.’ in the same second.
“Two!” Let's use, ‘Burn them all with fireballs’. Yeah, a fireball spell was very useful, a staple spell in fantasy games, one couldn’t go wrong with it. Also, ‘Snipe them from distance.’ was a very useful tactic, as it could be used in all sorts of occasions.
“One!” Agghhh!! ‘Explosion!!!’ yes! The explosion was a good way to handle any monsters. Just blow them all up. Also without even reading the question, I slammed my fist down on the finish button with a loud bang.
Not a moment too soon, the screen went blank. And the words “Have a good day.” Appeared on the screen. I yelled “YESS!!!” and jumped up. How is that!? Bow before me, for I have mastered the profound truth of random answers! I yelled and raised both of my fists up a few times which caused several people to look at me… That couldn’t be helped, so I quickly went to the staff desk and grabbed Skynet.
“How was it, mistress? Did you ace the test?” Skynet greeted me.
“I doubt it, but I believe that I should be alright.” I told her. There should be some points in those last seven questions, right? Heh, you can call me the master of random answers.
“Yay! With this, we graduated together!” Pristia hugged me from behind. She had her invasive grip as always. However, this time she stopped because my stomach was rumbling loudly… Well, I didn’t have my lunch yet.
“Let’s get something to eat.” Aunos suggested, but before we stepped out of the testing area, I noticed a lot of people waiting outside the testing room.
“Thank you, Ms. Kuro. You saved my life!” Someone in the crowd yell.
“Kuro, you are so cute, please be my girlfriend!” … For some reason, these people knew that I was going to be taking the exam today. If I stepped out with my siblings like this, my catgirl disguise would be in danger.
“Uhm, I think we should meet at the house.” I told my siblings, and they nodded. I then used my maxed sneaking skill to disappear from everyone’s sight.
As I slipped past the back windows, the cold air outside rushed into the examination room. Because the room was already half empty, no one seemed to notice it. As I was about to jump down from the service balcony, my feet stopped. Well, my body was telling me that a drop from a two-story height wasn’t any different from jumping down from my bed in the morning, but the experience from my past life told me that this height would surely break my legs or kill me if I was unlucky.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
‘Let’s try to be safe.’ I grabbed the edge of the balcony and try to climb down slowly. I know that it was lame, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Huh? I could heal myself if anything went wrong anyway? Yes, but I don’t like pain, if I could avoid any broken bones, wasting a few seconds more would definitely worth it.
After I lowered myself by only the tip of my finger holding the balcony floor, I let my body drop and temporarily enter free fall. With my acute senses, I felt the air rushed up and the pull of gravity, but it felt too easy to land. To my surprise, it felt like even if I fell head first, I could flip my body to land on my feet easily. Anyways, I didn’t want to try it out for real though. Falling from high places was definitely a scary thing in my books.
At the impact, the soft snow under my feet flew up in all directions. The back of the building seemed to be abandoned. I could just jump over the school fence to get home, but if there was some kind of enchantment to protect the school like my house, it would be troublesome afterward. So, I decided to wade through the spotless knee height snow around the building to the entrance.
“Kuro! Where has my waifu gone!”
“Aunos! Where did you hide her.”
“Eh? She already left?”
“Aww, I want to thank her. I even baked chocolate cookies this morning.”
“Hurry! She just went through the back windows. The temperature dropped around that zone.”
The clamor up there made me quicken my steps. By the time the windows were opened, I have already reached the walkway and began to blend with several pedestrians around the buildings.
“Hah, being so pretty also has its downsides, huh?” I mumbled as I headed to the bus station.
I had planned to eat mom’s lunch box in the school’s cafeteria, but because of that crowd I changed my mind. It was too risky there. Also, I could have had my lunch in the toilet stall like I always did in my past life, but that was too depressing. Mom’s cooking shouldn’t be spoiled like that. So, I decided to go back home and have my lunch and dinner combination in one go. Thanks to my storage device, keeping my lunch box a few more days would be no prob-
“A cute cat girl spotted!” “NYAA!!” I felt my tail was grabbed tightly. It made me jump and yell. Why did I yell 'nyaa'? I had no idea, it might be some kind of reflex came with the catgirl disguise set.
“Oi Eliza! That was rude. I’m sorry Miss Kitty. She normally never acts like this!” As I flip myself into a defensive position, a group of cute girls looked at me with sparkling eyes. Their cuteness was on the level of a certain girl band where their name ended with 48. One of them apologized to me profusely, but she also created a name for me without my permission. Miss kitty? Please, at least be more creative. We are talking about a cat girl, one of the true hopes and dreams of mankind here.
“Uhm, sorry, I never saw a cat girl as cute as you. So, I kind of forgot myself. Tee hee!” One of the girls who grabbed my tail apologised. All of them seemed young, and the youngest of them seemed to be around my height while the oldest of them seemed to be about sixteen years old. Also, I never saw any of their faces before, so maybe they were from one of the non-combat related departments or they were all new students.
“Ah, it’s alright, just please don’t grab other people’s tail out of the blue again.” I answered and walked away.
“Uhm, can I get a photo with you?” The same girl tried to stop me by grabbing my tail again, gently this time, but she still didn’t seem to learned her lesson. I flicked my tail away and look pointedly at her.
“... Sorry.” She meekly apologized.
“Haah, It’s alright, but you shouldn’t be rude anymore, okay?” She nodded happily. I wondered if she really learned her lesson or not. However, to be learned and to be sad is different things, so I didn’t pursue this matter anymore.
At first I thought that I would take a quick selfie with her, however, her friends also seemed to want to take pictures with me. One thing leads to another and I ended up spending half an hour with them and several others that seemed to misunderstand me as a school mascot for some reason.
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“Hahh, mom, I’m so hungry. Do you have anything to eat?” I asked as I entered my house, tired and hungry.
“The salmon roe that you ordered was just delivered a few moments ago. Do you want to have it now?” Mom asked.
“Yes!” Ahh, I love this world. So many luxurious foods come so cheaply. I found this on the internet and it cost only fifteen credits per kilogram which cheaper than that premium ribs that I bought for Ms. Fluffy. On the downside, I couldn't find a place that sold them nearby, so I had to buy it from the internet in bulk.
As I happily ate my rice bowl overflowing with salmon roe, Ms. Fluffy came flying out from the living room and rubbed her body against mine. She looked much more healthy now. Those vitamins from the vets work really well on her, huh? As I was afraid that she might dive into my food, I grabbed her and placed her on my lap.
“Ah, Kuro, welcome home, we just got the exam results from school.” Pristia came running over. “I got a Defender role. Which position did you get?”
“That was quick.” I was surprised and asked Skynet to look for my result from the internet.
“Mistress, you got the Mad Dog Attacker role.” … a Mad Dog Attacker? Is that a joke or real position? I asked Skynet to display its definition to me.
Mad Dog Attacker: A strong adventurer who disregards anything except fighting. If you work with them, just point them the target and stay away. Also, the leader of the team should take care to prevent them from attacking any innocent civilians.
The job they excel at: Monsters extermination
The job they should avoid: Civilian rescue, diplomatic missions, or any jobs that require subtlety
“... No, something must be wrong. I wasn’t that kind of person.” I protested.
“Well, mistress, please look at your answer sheet.” Skynet displayed another window for me and scrolled down to the last part.
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Question 41: List two strongest monster names that you fought and the tactic that you used against them.
Answer:
1. Lightning Fury
Use gravity related spell to slow it down.
2. A unique monster codename: Troll giant
Shoot it in the eye.
Question 42: If you were attacked by a team of bandits, what would you do?
Answer: Hunt for their sniper first.
Question 43: A wild ghost appears. What do you do?
Answer: Bombard it with spells until it submits.
Part 4: Adventurer manner:
Question 44: When you heard someone shout the word ‘Fore!’, what would you do?
Answer: Fight!
Question 45: When the man in question 44 come to apologize for what has happened, what would you do?
Answer: Kill!!!
Question 46: You found a stranded person inside a monster-infested area.
Answer: Shoot its legs off and run away.
Question 47: When people ask to see your adventurer certificate, what would you do?
Answer: Shoot them in the head.
Question 48: A family asked you to escort them to another city. What would you do?
Answer: Burn them all with fireballs.
Question 49: How would you deal with news reporters that were trying to intrude on your mission?
Answer: Snipe them off from distance.
Question 50: On a diplomatic mission, what is the best gift that you would bring along?
Answer: Explosion!!!
Crap, I should’ve left them blank.