The carriage continued to roll for a few minutes along the streets, searching for an alley where Apolo could work in peace. As time passed and the carriage slowly approached its uncertain destination, Apolo observed with irritation through the window how the bustling lives of the people seemed never to come to a halt: there was always something hurrying their steps, and in the nobleman's mind, these reasons always ended up being insignificant.
Many thoughts raced through Apolo's mind at this moment, but the one that tormented him the most was precisely this: Why were all these people in such a hurry from one place to another, as if their lives depended on it? Although the reason for his annoyance was rather ignoble and stemmed from the fact that the urgency of these people kept reminding the young mage of the big question in his head every time he had reached this point: What will I do after it's all done? What was the next plan? Where were the instructions for the next "important" task that was worthy of him wasting his precious time? Was there anything worthwhile to start after having put in all this effort? Or was it a better idea to simply close the curtains on this grand theater and let the next act begin?
Even though the truth was that these questions as such didn't harm anyone unless you happened to be Apolo and didn't have convincing answers to them by chance. For almost two years, the nobleman had followed the last words of a corpse as if they held the secret to happiness and a fulfilled life. But now, when he was so close to achieving his great goal, the big question was once again disrupting his life: What comes next? What will I do when the advice runs out? Had all this effort been worth it, or would it be just a waste of time? Are the other two ancestors who were mages and did nothing laughing at me or are they envious? Is this the right path, or am I just running towards the cliff? Does time even matter to me if I'm falling off the cliff? Do I have little time left, or is the little time I have too much?
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The questions in the young man's mind were more numerous than the answers he could imagine, and what was even worse was that he couldn't stop thinking about them. This was Apolo's great race, his way of hurrying, the need to respond to that disturbing question of what he wasn't doing and what he should start doing. And now that he was about to achieve his goals, the nobleman could see clearer than anyone else that his "great" goal was probably nothing more and nothing less than an insignificant excuse to deal with his lack of purpose. Apolo's entire life was slipping away in front of his eyes as time caused his "great" goals to evaporate his initial motivations.
Finding the cliff, becoming a mage, furnishing the mansion, finding the perfect Gururi, all excuses that consumed his life and left nothing in return but nothingness. In these brief moments of clarity where his only goal was to wait for the carriage to find a place, Apolo could clearly see these big problems, not as insignificant as his great achievements. However, the nobleman knew better than anyone that this would last only a short while, and sooner or later, the carriage would have to stop again. Then the young man's life would return to normal, and he would have to rush towards some unimportant goal again, maybe taking care of the garden and completing the fourth counsel, or maybe finally worrying about the fifth counsel.
The truth was, the young man had no idea where he was headed, but he was sure that something "big" would come again, and his life would be consumed as these "grandeur" achievements were completed. Nevertheless, the young man cared little for, or rather, condemned the great foolishness that accompanied him in carrying out all these meaningless goals and objectives, for Apolo knew all too well that time had never been lacking for a man who had started to despise its value.
However, what annoyed, tortured, and troubled the nobleman was that now he had all the time in the world to ask and re-ask, until finally, he would suffer from his questions: What little time for so many achievements? Or too much time for so few achievements? Am I sure that life is being consumed by these goals, or do I need to start looking at things from another perspective? Aren't these goals the ones extending my life?