Chapter 82:
“Zedid?” Vek whispered.
“Mmm.”
“Are you awake?”
“Mmm.”
Restless, Vek shifted from one side of his bunk to the other. He couldn’t sleep. He didn’t want to bother Zedid, but he needed to talk to someone. Rolling over again, Vek glanced at Zedid. She was lying on her side. Her eyes were closed, but her face was turned his way. “Zedid?” he tried again.
Her eyes fluttered open. “What?”
Vek took a deep breath. “Do you ever think –”
Then he paused. There were other servies in the dorm, four other servies, Jethra, Begvai – another serf from Squad #210 – and two others from Zedid’s squad. Were they awake? Were they listening?
Maybe it would be better for Vek to pull a Hanjan and keep quiet.
“Never mind,” he said. “Go back to sleep. Sorry to wake you.”
Zedid closed her eyes. “S’okay,” she murmured sleepily.
“Good night,” Vek whispered.
“G’night.”
***
Back in the crypts. Vek stumbling, wobbling. “What’s wrong with you?” “I had a – a drink.” “A drink? You look like you’ve had six. Take it easy next time.” “Yes, I gotta go, right?” “Go where? Pick up a serf prod. We’ve got an interrogation to do. And a new interrogator to train too, see, he’s coming now. Hey you! This way! We’re over here!”
Serf prod in hand. Slipping out. Sliding out of his grasp. “Pick it up, pick it up!” There, Vek’s got it now. He picks it up. He lifts it. There she is, somebody, name #4, already blindfolded in the wall-stocks. He put her there, didn’t he? Last night, he brought her down, he smiled at her and asked her to help him with something, and she did, all the way down to the crypts, she followed him, not even once getting suspicious, and now she’s here and it’s just a few questions a few questions.
“Find out what she knows about the Rajas murders. Be thorough. If you do a good job, this will be your last interrogation with me. Now’s the chance to show me you can do this on your own. Remember, they’re murderers, Watchers, all of them, trying to overthrow Lady Nari, Watcher murderers. Don’t hold back. You there, you’re going after Sat. Get ready.”
Vek can’t think. They’re murderers, they’re murderers. But isn’t Vek supposed to find out if that’s what they are? Or are they murderers already? Yes, they have to be, that’s what they are, that’s why Vek is interrogating them, yes, that’s right, he’s right, he’s right, he’s right! They hate themselves, they have – what was the term Op used? – internalized hatred, yes, that was it, they see themselves like the Rajas see them, they see all of us serfs the way the Rajas see us, that’s why they betray us, because they’re on the side of the Rajas, so it’s okay to hurt them, it’s good, it’s good to hurt them!
“Tell us everything you know,” Vek hears himself say. “It’ll be easier for you, in the end, if you do.”
***
“You’ve been quiet lately.”
Vek looked up. It was Zedid, Zedid and Seone. They were both good girls, Free Serf girls, Vek’s friends. He was happy, very happy, to see them.
“What, no response?” Zedid sat down next to him on the channel back sofa, playfully jostling him as she did. She’d always been affectionate. Seone, too, although right now she was sitting down on the aalto stool across from them. “Come on, Vek,” he heard Seone say. “We know something’s bothering you. What’s going on?”
Vek closed his eyes. The lounge was full of serfs. He could hear their excited chatter – in Chenmay and in Eenma, as was usual on First Day. First Day, after all, was when the new apprentices arrived at the castles. Everyone spoke in village speech on First Day as a way to make the drafted children feel more welcome.
Behind him Vek could hear someone explaining the holiday to one of the new apprentices. First Day is the first day of the rainsoon season. It’s the only holiday we have that isn’t about the Rajas. What’s that you say? Isn’t First Day the same as Queen Rathi Day? Well, sure, it’s the same diurnal, but we don’t celebrate the queens anymore, we celebrate the new season, the rains that come and fill our greenhouse walls, the underground rivers that swell and replenish the holy lake.
“Vek, are you okay?”
This time it was Zedid, her soft voice breaking through his thoughts. Vek opened his eyes and sighed. “I’m just worried, that’s all,” he said smoothly. “I know that with all the Rajas dying every diurnal that we need more bodies to guard them. We have to draft those who passed the caste exams, we have to. But I heard that the villages don’t care, that they’re angry the Free Serfs decided to go ahead still with this year’s draft. They’re saying it’s the same as before the Uprising, that the Golden Castle is still taking their children away from them.”
Seone and Zedid’s shocked faces only made him feel worse. Seone even had a hand over her mouth. “Well,” Zedid said uncertainly. “Maybe the villages are upset, but surely they understand that it’s different now, that it’s for the Uprising…”
“I hope so,” Vek replied.
“Where did you hear that from, anyway?” Seone asked.
“Anzana.”
“Anzana, really?” Zedid made a face. “How could she know something like that?”
Vek blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I know she’s your squad leader and that you like her, but isn’t she kind of dumb?”
Vek stared at Zedid. He had no idea what to say. Anzana was one of the smartest serfs he knew! He half-turned to Seone to appeal to her for support, but she was shrugging, and the expression on her face said, sorry, what can I do, I agree with Zedid.
“She doesn’t have a reputation for being altogether there, you know?” Zedid continued. She put a hand on Vek’s knee. “I know she cares about you, though, and I know you care about her.”
“I…” Vek still didn’t know what to say. “I never heard that from anyone…”
“Well, nobody was going to say anything to you,” Seone replied. “Everyone who knows you knows how close you are to her.”
Vek covered his face with his unmutilated hand. He felt even worse than he had before. “She also told me the crop villages were eating their own produce, and that it could cause a food shortage for us here in the castles. But I guess that isn’t true either?”
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“Well…” Seone cleared her throat. “That, actually, she’s not wrong about…”
“Wait, really? I haven’t noticed anything going short though.” Zedid leaned forward, her hands pushing into the upholstered seat. Vek sat up as well. Seone was a kitchen servie, so she’d actually know something about this.
“I don’t think we’re going to run out or anything,” Seone replied. “But we are eating into what’s in storage. We haven’t gotten anything fresh in diurnals. We’ve got a lot stored though! I know Lady Nari will figure something out before we even get close to running out. I mean, it’s because of her that we even have these food stores in the first place, you know?”
For the first time in diurnals, Vek felt a smile tug on his lips. “Thank you,” he told Seone.
She gave him a half-amused, half-confused look. “Sure, I guess.”
“No, really. Thank you for reminding me that Lady Nari will figure things out. That she was already ready for the villages to do something like this. That makes things a lot better.”
And it really did make things better. Hearing Seone’s simple declaration of confidence in Lady Nari filled out, a little, the hollow ache in Vek’s chest. Seone was right. Lady Nari would figure it out. All Vek had to do was his little part.
“Maybe I’ll request an apprentice,” Vek said out loud. He grinned, knowing his joke would make Seone and Zedid laugh, and enjoying it when they did indeed laugh. How the Uprising had turned things around such that a patronless serf could even think about getting an apprentice for himself! Not that Vek would do it. Having a ten-year-old fresh from a village follow him around everywhere sounded like a nightmare. But still, it was nice that the possibility was open to someone like Vek.
“Maybe then we’ll be able to find out from your apprentice where you’re always sneaking off to.”
Vek turned and looked over the sofa’s back at Hurez. “Why do you care?”
“Because you’re lying.”
Vek shot to his feet. He could feel the blood rushing to his head, could sense his adrenaline soaring, could taste a bitter hatred flooding his mouth. Rock-god, how he hated Hurez! How he hated him, hated him heart and soul, hated him with every fiber of his being. Hurez and his endless prying and prodding and sneering and snapping, rock-god, how Vek hated him!
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Vek heard Zedid say beside him. “Vek’s not lying.”
Hurez pointed at her. “Maybe not, but you are.”
“Don’t talk that way to her,” Vek hissed.
Hurez ignored him. “You said that shadow members have extra duties. But the Uprising’s happened now, in case you haven’t noticed, and Vek’s still sneaking off and leaving his work to the rest of us. I mean, unless he’s still a shadow member even now?”
From behind him Vek heard Seone stand up. “Hurez, don’t be a flare.”
“I’m not, I’m just –”
“You’re right,” Vek said.
At that, not only did Hurez, Seone and Zedid stop talking, three other serfs sitting in a conversation pit nearby did too. Vek could feel their eyes on him as he stepped onto the sofa and vaulted over it. Now he was only a few paces away from Hurez. “You’re right,” he said again. “I’m not a shadow member anymore.”
Now even the serfs in the clustered chair-and-table-setting a little further off were watching and listening too. Vek watched as the confusion on Hurez’ face turned into alarm. He began to back away from Vek. “I didn’t mean – I didn’t mean to –” he started to say, but Vek had had enough. Enough, enough, he’d had enough, and now he was racing for Hurez and Hurez was stumbling away and now both of them were on the ground, Vek on top, and he was pummeling him, striking him in exactly the right spots, red flashing before his eyes, and rock-god, it felt good, it felt good, it felt good!
But just as quickly as it began, it was over. Someone was pulling Vek up and off Hurez and then Zedid and Seone were on either side of him, each of them holding him back by one arm. Of course they couldn’t have stopped Vek, not when he was like this, with his heart all pounding and his chest heaving, but he didn’t want to hurt them, so he stayed still. Besides, he could hear Zedid calling out to everyone watching, “You know that Hurez deserved that, and more,” and then Vek heard the serfs gathered around call out their agreement and throw shouts of encouragement his way, and oh rock-god, to hear Chenmay cheers for him, for Vek with his shaved head, that reached him in a place he’d thought was long buried and – he couldn’t help it – he turned so that nobody could see his tears – and there like an answer was Zedid’s hand on his back, and she was whispering not in the pidgin they usually spoke but in Chenmay, “See? You don’t have to worry, you don’t have to be down. The Uprising’s happened. It’s going to be perfect, it’s going to be perfect, it’s going to be perfect.”
***
Later that night, Vek and Zedid decided to sneak out together to one of the cortiles the Rajas once used for Houseparties. At the elevator bay on their zone, they were stopped – but this time by other Chenta.
“Free Serfs have re-instated checkpoint units at all the bays,” one of them told Vek. He was yawning, clearly reciting a memorized line he’d given a thousand times before. “It’s to keep things orderly.”
“I have my papers,” Zedid said quickly. “Vek, you don’t have to show yours, it’s enough if he’s with me, right?”
The guard shrugged. He half-turned to his partner. “I don’t know, is it okay?”
Vek took Zedid by the hand. His heart was full of emotion. How considerate she was of him! How protective! Although, of course, she didn’t need to be anymore. Her question was out of habit, a habit left over from before the Uprising. “It’s fine,” he said out loud. “I actually have my papers on me, for once.” He pulled out his booklet and handed it to the Chenta guard. “Here.”
Vek was not disappointed. He watched as the guard’s lazy slouch turned into an upright and attentive posture. Then the guard looked up, his eyes full of awe. “Shadow member – you’re Vek, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Vek answered. He held up Zedid’s hand, his fingers interlaced with hers. “And this here is Zedid.”
The other guard immediately ushered them forward. “Go, go, take whichever one you want, please, be our guest.”
Vek grinned. He accepted back his booklet and tugged Zedid forward. They managed to wait until they were inside the elevator car – thank the rock-god, it was empty – before they started kissing. All the way down to the cortile they kissed; when the elevator doors finally opened up, they stumbled out, both of them laughing.
This time the elevator bay was guarded by Eenta soldiers. Vek felt a thrill as he and Zedid approached them. Soldiers normally didn’t check the booklets of those exiting elevators, but still, it was way past curfew. Not that there was a curfew anymore!
One of the soldiers was an Eenta woman, a fairly beautiful one at that. Vek winked at her as he led Zedid by the hand out of the arcade and under one of the arches that surrounded the cortile. The Eenta turned away. When Vek saw that, blood rushed to his head. He felt almost dizzy from giddiness. He’d been avoiding Eenta since the Uprising had happened. Now he knew that he hadn’t needed to be afraid. The Uprising had happened – and it had happened to the Eenta too.
He turned to Zedid. “You know, I never got how the Eenta fit into the Uprising. I mean, they’re serfs too, that I remember from Lady Nari’s exams because it was on every single one of them, but they’re serfs who helped the Rajas.”
“Some of them, maybe,” Zedid said. They were speaking in Chenmay still, as they had been all day. “But I worked with good agents who were Eenta. Didn’t you?”
Yeah, fair enough. Vek had worked with good agents who were Eenta. He just hadn’t liked doing it. Whenever Vek had anything to do with an Eenta, anything that wasn’t throwing rocks at them, he always found himself fighting uncomfortable thoughts, thoughts about his background, thoughts about who he really was, thoughts like the ones coming up even now…
Vek stopped walking. Urgently he drew Zedid to him. Half-protesting, half-laughing, she wiggled away, grabbing him by the wrist and leading him to the arcade on the other side of the cortile. Only then, in the darkness, did she allow him to caress her. With eager hands Vek took hold of her. All thoughts were driven from his mind then, which was perfect, it was perfect, she was perfect, the Uprising was perfect, it was going to be perfect, everything was perfect, Vek didn’t have to worry about a single thing, not a single thing –
***
“Vek, sit with us!”
Vek grinned but shook his head. It was Iolo calling out to him, Iolo with half a dozen other servies at his table. Not that Vek minded Iolo these days, but Zedid was waiting for him, and after last night, Vek wanted to sit with Zedid.
He made his way to the hot cupboards where the food was out and steaming in their tubs. Rajas cafeterias were the best! Vek glanced over the cupboards into the kitchen, intending to thank the servie dishing out the food. He met the eyes of an Eenta instead, and almost drew back.
“Can I help you?” the Eenta asked. And nicely too! Not sullenly at all. Huh. Maybe Zedid was right. She’d been telling him that the Eenta were afraid of the Chenta, that they felt pressure to prove their anti-casteism. Not that there was much the Eenta could do to prove they were just as anti-casteist as the Chenta, but still, Vek was happy to give them opportunities to try. Sliding his tray along the sill, he pointed at what he wanted from the hot cupboards. Not once did the Eenta say anything rude, not once did he sneer.
“How’s the food?” Zedid asked him after he slid into the seat beside her.
Vek picked up his flatbread and scooped a bite of curry into his mouth. He chewed, swallowed, then grinned. “It’s perfect.”