Chapter 29:

There were several other boats drawn up onto the submerged grasses. About half of them were already in the water. The remaining seven or so boats were still being hauled forward, each by a bitterly cursing serf. Nobody even glanced at Vek as he walked along the shore. Not that he expected them to. To them, he was just another patronless serf drafted to accompany a drugged Rajas to the Temple. Not worth paying attention to.

Vek made his way to one of the boats bobbing in the water. “Hey Hanjan,” he said to the serf standing by the boat’s aft end. “I didn’t think it would be you. I was just told it would be someone I recognized.”

“I was told it would be you,” Hanjan said, murmuring so quietly that Vek had to lean forward to hear him. “I just didn’t think you were going to make it. Glad to see I was wrong.”

“Speak up.”

“You didn’t greet me yet.”

“Right or left?” Vek asked. Hanjan rolled his eyes, clearly exasperated. After glancing around to make sure nobody was looking, he held out his right hand. Vek clasped it, not releasing until he felt Hanjan’s nails dig into the back of his own hand, five sharp pinches.

We have to enter the Temple on the right side of the fifth column, Vek translated mentally.

It always felt faintly ridiculous to have to go through the motions of such intense security with Hanjan, but that was who Hanjan was. Barely five years older than Vek, Hanjan acted like he was one of Lady Nari’s old guard, from before the massive infiltration of the Free Serfs into just about every office of power.

Vek waited for Hanjan to indicate the exit route, but Hanjan shook his head. Vek swore under his breath. “Nothing about exit?”

Hanjan glared at him, but Vek paid him no heed. It wasn’t like Lady Nari to leave her agents hanging. She would have sent someone she trusted to deliver a message about an escape route out of the Temple, especially given that missions into the holy place never went well.

“I waited, but no one came to give me anything,” Hanjan mouthed, his head turned so that the serfs near them couldn’t read his lips.

Vek rubbed his thumb against the plastic-capped edge of Hanjan’s boat. This was unexpected. For a moment he entertained the idea of taking off with the princess across the lake, and skipping the Temple entirely, but there were Eenta mobile checkpoint units that patrolled the lake during the nights of sacrifice, and no Eenta soldier would listen to the excuses of a Chenta servie.

Well, he would figure it out somehow. Vek signed a thank you to Hanjan, tapping three fingers twice against his thumb. Just as he did so, a hoarse cry – the launch signal – sounded. As Vek returned to his boat, the call was picked up by his fellow serfs. Chenta, every man of them, began to chant a low, measured village dirge. The unhappy notes hung heavily in the air.

***

Mayah stopped adjusting her glasses. The bioplastic hull below the waterline was cool and clammy and the rumpled sheet was uncomfortable beneath her back. But when the Chenmay incantations rose like mist out of the water all around her, their striking familiarity captured her. She knew this song. She knew this hymn. It was a mourning hymn, sung over the bodies of the dead. Old Tineth, that was right, she’d died in the night in the grandmother hut one row over and Mayah remembered… she remembered…

Blue walls bright as a jewel, straw mats braced with branches peeled clean of limestone, Tineth’s dead body lying still and shrunken on a mat held high on the grownups’ shoulders, on Sukren’s shoulder…

Mayah shivered, but not from the cold.

***

“We’re almost there,” Vek said.

He was sitting in the stern seat; his sandaled feet were practically in her hair. Mayah had to crane her neck back to see his face. Over her head his hands pulled the oars forward and back, again and again. She smoothed down the front of her frock and took a measured breath. She could feel Vek’s strength in the water gliding by her on the other side of the hull. She smoothed down the front of her frock again. We’re going to Sukren, she reminded herself. I’m going to see Sukren.

Soon enough, something bumped up against the bow, by her feet. Vek was out of the boat at once. Mayah could hear his feet splashing, could feel his arms dragging the end of the craft up onto what felt like wet sand beneath its keel.

“Okay, time to get up.”

Mayah sat up, blinking. Far above, very distantly, gleamed the colors of nightsleep’s lights. Auroralight, starlight, bio-dome lights – none of it was bright enough to see clearly by. A beach, maybe? Was that where she was? Only her boat wasn’t the only one pulled up onto it, there were lots of other boats, and – were those other Rajas? Yes, each boat had its own Rajas, and its own serf, and the serfs were pulling the Rajas out of the boats –

“Let’s move quickly,” Vek murmured. He once again held his hand out to her, but Mayah didn’t want to violate the purity laws in front of all the other Rajas so she didn’t take it. She was also starting to feel very nervous. What kind of worship were these Rajas-serf pairs going to do in the Temple? How come Mayah had never heard of it before?

“Try to look a little more stunned,” Vek said as Mayah stepped out of the boat onto the sand. “All the other Rajas were disappeared so they’re going to be hysterical. Since that’ll waste time, just act like you’re in shock, like you can’t believe you’re here.”

All the other Rajas were disappeared?

It was like someone had hit Mayah in the gut. All the air was knocked out of her; she couldn’t breathe; she couldn’t think. Disappeared… disappeared… the Rajas were disappeared…

She was dimly aware that Vek had taken her sleeved arm, that he was hauling her up the sloping beach. “Good,” she heard him say. “You look like you just woke up from being drugged.” Behind them Mayah heard an older princess wailing. “Please, I can still give birth, please, I’m not menopausal yet, no, please…”

Blood was rushing through Mayah’s head. They were at the top of the sandy slope – the Temple stood before her – its pillars like white teeth – with soldiers at every entrance –

A cry, hysterical and high-pitched, rose up behind Mayah. “You can’t touch me! I’m a Rajas!”

That’s right, Mayah thought, dizzy, dazed. Vek shouldn’t be touching me. I shouldn’t be touching him. But they’re letting it happen. Because – because it doesn’t matter anymore – because we’re being disappeared – holy Sarana – Vek lied to me – it was a trick –

I’m being disappeared.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Overwhelmed, Mayah found herself unable to resist Vek’s guiding hand pulling her forward. It wasn’t until they were standing by one of the columns that she began to be able to think at all. The soldier by the column was giving Vek a pack; Vek turned to Mayah and handed her a pair of eye goggles along with a lightstick. “Once you’re inside, don’t take these off,” she heard him say. With trembling fingers she placed the goggles over her glasses, tying the laces behind her head. Then she looked ahead through the pillars. Only blackness was visible. Everything else, whatever might be in the Temple, was swallowed up inside it.

A Rajas screamed, full-throated in his despair. A low moan went through the throng still not halfway up the beach. Panic shot through Mayah. She twisted the two ends of the lightstick to activate its glow, then raced forward into the darkness. If she were fast enough, maybe she could lose Vek!

“Wait!” she heard Vek call. “Jroya and Pal, where are you going?!”

Mayah kept running. The lightstick lit up enough of the path in front of her that she could see the twists and turns of the walls in time to turn with them. She was able to put a decent distance between herself and Vek in only a few seconds. Behind her, she could hear him stumbling after her. “Come back!” he called. “You took the light! I can’t see anything!”

Mayah knew she should keep going, but she couldn’t help herself. She stopped. “You tricked me!” she screamed back.

“What are you talking about?”

Vek sounded confused, but that didn’t mean anything. He’d tricked her so far, of course he’d try to trick her again. “You told me you were taking me to Sukren!”

“That’s what I’m doing!”

“Well, it doesn’t look like Sukren’s here!” Mayah screamed again. Tears began welling up in her eyes, fogging up her goggles. She had let herself believe that she might actually be free… she’d let herself hope that the awful time might finally be over… and here she was now, one of the disappeared, about to be killed, no doubt, and the worst part of it was, Mayah had gone along with it. Nobody needed to kidnap her in the night, nobody needed to drug her, Mayah was so pathetically lonely that all they needed to do was pretend to be from Sukren for her to walk straight into their trap for them.

“Sukren’s not here,” Vek said. His voice sounded closer. Mayah took a step back, getting ready to run again. “I told you already, the Temple is the only way to get a princess out of the castle. This is a stop on the way.”

Mayah couldn’t take any more lies. “You brought me here to disappear me!”

“What? No, that’s the other Rajas, not you. We’re pretending you’re being disappeared, but it’s just a front, a cover to get you out.”

He sounded so sincere. Mayah hesitated. So it wasn’t a trick? Or maybe it was, but not on her?

“Please come back,” she heard Vek plaintively call out. “The other Rajas-serf pairs are going to be in here soon, and it’s not going to be pretty. We need to be deeper inside the Temple before they get here. But I can’t lead us if I can’t see my map.”

He sounded anxious. Maybe he was faking it, but if he was, he was doing a really good job. And if he really had a map, well, she should probably go back then. It wasn’t like Mayah would last that long wandering around in the dark by herself.

Still feeling nervous, Mayah traced her way back to Vek. When he saw her, his shoulders sagged in relief. “Don’t run off like that again,” he said. “They stock this place up with animals and madmen before sending the Rajas-serf pairs in. And the serfs who are drafted to come here are shadow members serving out at least a temporary term. They get to take their frustrations out against the Rajas by dragging them inside, and then they get to die themselves. We need to go before they catch up with us.”

A clamor was rising up behind Vek. Mayah could hear the Rajas screaming and crying as they were dragged closer and closer to the Temple. She swallowed. She still wasn’t sure if she could trust Vek, but at this point, it was either trust Vek or trust the other serfs about to come through, and Mayah could tell from the wanton way they were handling their Rajas that they wouldn’t be gentle with her either.

“Let’s go,” she whispered.

“Hold up the light,” Vek replied. “I need to look at my map.”

He pulled a rolled up scroll out of his knapsack. Mayah held the lightstick over it. Behind them the din was growing louder and louder. Her hands began to shake. She watched Vek trace his finger along some of the lines on his scroll before rolling it back up. “Okay, this way. We need to run.”

Mayah didn’t need any encouragement. They took off together, making their way through the pathways carved out between head-height – or even higher – walls. Vek didn’t call for a stop until the sounds of the other Rajas-serf pairs were completely lost behind them.

“You okay?” he asked her. “We can take a break now.”

Mayah was panting for breath. She nodded, grateful for the chance to rest. As happy as she had been to get away, she wasn’t used to running around during the night. She wasn’t used to running around, period.

“I thought you knew,” Vek said suddenly. He glanced towards her. Mayah couldn’t make out his facial expression that well, not with the goggles obscuring his eyes, but he seemed puzzled.

“Knew what?” Mayah managed to ask.

“Knew what the Temple was for. You seemed so surprised. Don’t the Rajas know they all get disappeared in the end?”

Mayah froze.

“Sorry, did I say something?”

She took in a shuddering breath.

“Princess?”

“You’re so open,” she managed.

“What?”

“You talk so openly… about it… nobody does that... I haven’t talked about it to anyone... not since...”

Not since she’d gone to the library with Qat, a long, long time ago.

“Why not?”

The darkness felt like it was pressing in on Mayah. She shivered. “I don’t know. We just don’t. Nobody talks about it.”

“At all?”

“At all.”

Now Mayah was starting to feel sick. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, follow the rules, only how could Mayah follow the rules now, she had left the castle! Oh, now she was never going to get seeded, she was never going to become a senior princess! Oh, why did it have to be this way, why did this have to happen to her? She was nobody!

Think about Sukren instead, she told herself. Think about how you’re going to see him. Sukren will make it all better. He already did, kind of. Through his notebook. He explained, didn’t he? The Rajas have rules, very strict rules, that everyone has to follow. If they don’t, there are consequences. But in the end, nobody can follow the rules of the Rajas forever. So everyone has to be punished. Even Qat told you that, didn’t she? Who do they take? Everyone. Well, now you’re seeing where they take everyone. You’re seeing the nightmare waiting for them in the end.

“Huh.” Vek shrugged. “Well, I always thought Rajas were a little weird. I didn’t realize they were that weird though.”

Mayah let out a breathy little laugh. Weird? That was how Vek was going to describe it?

Well, maybe he was right to. Because it was weird! It was completely weird! It made no sense at all!

To her surprise, Mayah began laughing out loud. It was probably out of hysteria, but it was still in earnest. Of course it was weird to not ever talk about something that literally happened to everyone. What else could it be but weird? Oh Sarana, it had been such a long time since she’d let herself care about what made sense and what didn’t, but she could feel it inside her now, the desire, the need for what she saw and heard to fit together. Sukren had written about that in his notebook, hadn’t he? She doesn’t ever just nod her head when things don’t make sense. She makes sure she understands.

Vek was grinning too. “Anyway, it’s not like you have to worry about it anymore. You’ve left the castle. You’re never going to be disappeared. You can’t be.”

You’re never going to be disappeared. You can’t be.

Almost as quickly as the laughter had come, so now came the tears. Vek’s words hit her as hard as the sight of the beachline and all the disappearing Rajas – no, harder. For it was true. Holy Sarana, it was true! Vek had said it so nonchalantly, like it was nothing, when it was everything, everything!

Mayah buried her face in her hands. Her goggles were getting all clouded again, but she couldn’t stop weeping. She stood there, letting them get fogged up, letting herself gasp out loud, letting her body shake with relief.

“Whoa, whoa, are you okay?”

“I’m not going back,” she whispered.

“That’s – that’s right.”

“I’m never going back.”

“Yes.”

“I won’t be disappeared.”

“That’s right,” Mayah heard Vek whisper. Then she felt his hand, his ungloved hand, on hers – and she didn’t pull away. She had left the Rajas. She was not going back to them. She was never going to be disappeared.

She had finally escaped. She was finally free.