Jess P.O.V.
'Nope, I did not say that.'
Even through the thick fog of the nightclub, which I already regret having entered, I can see several people gawking at me, demons and humans alike. If I had just kept my mouth shut, this whole situation wouldn't have to be the way it is right now. But even with denial battling reality inside my head, the emerald eyes of the person I'm cursing to hell right now burn a hole through my damn skull.
"I knew it. Thighs do save lives." (Nith)
'Fuck him.'
It's as if my train of thought was impeded by something, but my head slowly processes the last few minutes of what happened.
The several fragments of memory merge. I remember that, after entering this floor, my body has begun to heat up. Even more so after the cockwart who's been smiling at me for the last few seconds pushed me and Risa to the exit in a hurry.
In retrospect, it was probably because there is some kind of danger here and he wanted us to protect us from it-
"Swiggity size, I'm coming for the thighs." (Nith)
-but seriously, fuck him.
'Damn it, these succubi probably put something in the air. That's why I couldn't control myself as well as usual.'
After I involuntarily took a few breaths of the stagnant air around here, my head became haywire and several pieces of memory are missing. Following that, the most recent thing I remember is the sight of the succubi getting closer and closer to Nith. I couldn't really hear what they were talking about the whole time since I was too preoccupied with the artificial fever I was going through, but I could tell one thing. They were coming onto the stupid dickhead I called a friend for the last few months.
'Alright, how do I get out of this situation without having to give up the last ounce of pride I have left.'
Even in this stressful situation, I can't manage to ignore the black-haired, flailing girl in my arms. Risa's been complaining for a while, understandably since I've kept her eyes shut for a prolonged amount of time now, but call it motherly instinct: I don't want her to see all this and get sullied like the cunt who's surrounded by the succubi.
But although I usually try to not be influenced by other people and their actions, her weak struggle and high-pitched complaints strike inside my head, drowning out everything else. The thought of how cute she is flashes through my mind.
'No, Jess, simping comes later. Keep it together. You have a way more difficult task at hand.'
Ignoring my own thoughts for a second, I imagine what Risa and I could do together later. I've been trying to spend more time with her recently, which made this whole apocalypse a lot more enjoyable and I've taken her more into my heart by the day.
It could be even more enjoyable if Risa decided to follow my request and sleep at my parents' house, but she vehemently opposed it time after time.
I never managed to get my head around the reason for it, but-
'Again, Jess, concentrate. Nith is about to have an excuse for a plethora of stupid things and you won't let him have his way.'
Contrary to my resolve, I know that there is nothing that I can do about the future events I caused myself. I've had such discussions with Nith countless times, and I've lost every single one of them. The line between genius and insane stupidity is very thin, but he somehow always won with insane stupidity.
I saw myself as a headstrong girl my whole life, mostly due to my (weird) parents and their attempt to make me more normal than them, but I somehow can't help but dance to Nith's flute.
"Now then!" (Nith)
The guy in question props himself up on his knees, in an attempt to stand up. I can already see how gitty he got by my words from his beaming smile.
He awkwardly struggles to get out of the narrow booth, holding eye contact with me through the whole thing.
"Y'all are clearly not as nice as I first thought, so I made up my mind. We don't negotiate with terrorists." (Nith)
Immediately, a frown pops up on the succubus that greeted us at the front door. My breath stops for a second after I realize that the situation might have been tenser than I first thought. The succubi are all enveloped by mana, sending clear animosity Nith's way.
It must've been the drug that muddled my mind because I'm sure that I wouldn't have made such a mistake with a clear mind.
"You are the one who started the moronic offer." (???)
"We can sit here all day and argue about that." (Nith)
I need to stifle my laughter, as I've done many times before just to not be a target of his shenanigans as well. But the attempt was useless, as a snort still escaped my nose.
What can I say? Nith's idiotic humor is perfect for me if I like it or not. Ironically, since the apocalypse started, I've laughed more than ever.
Maybe it's because I don't have to force myself into the good girl role as I did before?
"But do you guys smell that?" (Nith)
He sniffs the air exaggeratedly, clearly still looking at me.
"I think it smells like panties." (Nith)
"I said thighs, not panties you dick!" (Me)
He stands still, his smile getting even wider. The words I just uttered echo inside my head, playing over and over.
'FUCK ME, I SAID IT AGAIN!'
I just blocked off my only way of getting out of this situation. Even denying won't help me anymore. While I refrain from bashing my head against the wall again, Nith decides to make his way towards us.
'Maybe I can still somehow make a deal? If I could just limit it to a few minutes- who am I kidding?'
The futility of my whole plan plays out in front of me in an accelerated time frame. With that smug grin of his, there's no way he'll back off in any way. That's the kind of guy he is. In fact, if I tried to bargain even further, I might end up in a worse situation than I am right now.
Every skip he does while stepping towards us makes me fall even further into a deep depression. In these moments, I forget why I'm even hanging around with him.
But the succubi don't seem to let us leave so easily. Lightning crackles on top of the leader's hand, pointing it at Nith's back threateningly.
"Who said you could leave so easily?" (???)
The future victim stops in his tracks, letting out a joking sigh.
"What? First you want my virginity and now my lunch money?" (Nith)
As always, Nith's voice doesn't tremble in the slightest, even in the face of a weapon pointed at him. I don't know where he gets his confidence from. In every fight up until now, he never looked as if he was really in any kind of danger.
He wouldn't show me the aces up his sleeves even if I asked, I'm sure. He would just make a stupid joke as always, and that would be it. I can't say that I'm not curious, but there's no reason for me to pry too much.
He's not a bad guy deep down, so I'm sure he has his reasons.
"Don't answer my question with another question." (???)
Her voice becomes sharper, filled with killing intent. I'm not really a pro at noticing something like that, but I can definitely sense it in her.
"Watcha gonna do about it?" (Nith)
This time, I let out the chuckle voluntarily. Even if it's a bit taunting, Nith seems to have a plan, so I don't worry about the consequences.
The succubus snaps just as quickly as I expected.
She shoots off the lightning bolt. Nith dodges in a split of a second. The spark collides above us against the wall.
"This." (???)
"Oh no, you missed an attack. Please don't do that again." (Nith)
Nith's "Taunt" skill must've activated again, because I can see the succubi breathe heavily, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. I prepare myself for battle by resonating my mana with the metal I hid inside Nith's pouch.
But the fight I'm anticipating doesn't come.
"Be careful, your shoelaces are untied. Wouldn't want to trip while we fight." (Nith)
Even I don't believe such a blatant lie, but the succubi seem to have been born yesterday, as they all look at their feet.
'They don't even wear shoes...'
"See ya, suckers!" (Nith)
"Wait, what?" (Me)
Me assuming that Nith just wanted to land a surprise attack fires back at me. He immediately turns around, running towards us with his ridiculous speed. Even if I see it nearly every day, I still can't believe that he can be this fast without magic.
Risa finally manages to get my arms off her face, but the only thing she'll be able to see is Nith running towards us.
"Wait, wha- WOAH!" (Risa)
Risa tries to imitate me, but we both get picked up faster under Nith's arm than any one of us could react. He kicks in the door that leads to the next floor, and without even giving the succubi a chance to say anything, we exit.
Once again, we are greeted by a set of stairs. I don't know why, but completely off-topic, I started to realize something at this moment.
"I literally just went through the 5 stages of grief because of you, you cunt." (Me)
"That won't save your thighs from being motorboated." (Nith)
I curse myself for ever having met him. Deep-seated hatred wells up inside me, but I can't help but smile at this ridiculous scene. I can't imagine how montone the apocalypse would've been without him.
With the shit that he sometimes comes up with, that might actually be the better alternative. I still shudder when I think about the bloody space whales.
"Why wasn't I allowed to see anything?!" (Risa)
I give Nith a stern look. Once in a blue moon, he and I agree on something. This is one of those moments.
He lets Risa gently to the floor, while he's way less careful with me. I have long made my peace with these childish teases of his, but they still vex me to this day at least a bit.
I know that he just wants to bully me cause he thinks it's fun. Somewhere along the way, I even started to share the enjoyment he feels.
'He saved me several times from certain death, so I can let him have that at least.'
Now that I think about it, a weird version of Stockholm Syndrome might have also played a part in this.
The next move of the cunt that just dropped me would most likely be to tease me even further, so I decide to move first. I take the stairs in front of me, ascending before the other two could.
"No, I won't tell her that she's wearing a skirt." (Nith)
I stop.
"You just told me." (Me)
His facial expression tells me that he is clearly blaming someone other than himself. Most of the time it's hard to make out what he's thinking, but other times it's like he doesn't have anything to hide.
"You're in so much trouble, Trick." (Nith)
Again. He's done this so many times now. He talks as if there's another person here, even though there's no one here but us. Now, he told me himself that he spent time in hell, so I've had no choice but to write it off as a bad habit up until now.
After all, I can't imagine what he went through there. To be honest, I'm also a bit reluctant to know.
Abruptly, he starts to climb the stairs as well. My competitive nature kicks into play, forcing me to try and overtake him. Risa, who's still pouting because no one answered her, right behind us. In a Deja vú like setting, our group repeats the same action we did before we entered the nightclub.
"But man, you really had to step in right when the action was starting, Jess..." (Nith)
The shred of memory where the succubi salivate over Nith's body flashes in my mind. I don't even notice how my face turns into a frown, but somehow this sentence agitated me to an... unusual degree?
'No, no, no. No, it didn't. You are not jealous. Don't get fucked in the head, you're just getting swept along. I'm not stupid. This is the suspension bridge effect kicking in again.'
Like a mantra, I repeat the words of rationality inside my head. The wall looks attractive again for my forehead to collide with, but I suppress the urge. Mostly cause I didn't want to give Nith the satisfaction.
"They were clearly about to kill you, so I had to step in." (Me)
"WAIT, WHAT???" (Risa)
"*Gasp* No way, José! Risa, I had no idea either! Trust me!" (Nith)
'Nevermind. Not jealous. Should've let them kill him.'
That damn fake gasp always gets me. I can't even sucker-punch him since he has way faster reflexes than I do. And I can't repeat the trick out of his pouch again, cause he'll see it coming.
I see both of them whisper behind my back, snickering. This is most likely payback for flaunting Risa's allegiance in the hallway before the nightclub. This time, I really am jealous.
I'm surprised myself at the rollercoaster of emotions I always go through with these guys. This time, I feel a quiet smile appear on my face.
My reactions might always be negative, but I enjoy these times more than someone might assume from the outside.
"Come on already. We still want to accomplish at least something today." (Me)
I feign annoyance so they would finally follow my advice, which they promptly do. I can't hold them back from still laughing at me, but it's better than Risa still being sad.
What's not good about this whole thing is how long the staircase goes on.
Even after walking for several minutes, there's still no end in sight. We went as far as replicating the routine from before, hoping that another elevator would appear, but to no avail.
"Now that I think of it, why didn't you fight the succubi, Nith? I mean, they didn't really seem like a challenge." (Me)
After the countless fights we've had together, I can roughly estimate the strength of someone. The succubi definitely didn't look like they could threaten us, even if they wanted to.
To Risa's dismay, he once again shuts her ears. I'm already not looking forward to what he's about to say.
"Good question!" (Nith)
That usually means it isn't and he's not going to give a real answer.
"Cause my cock was throbbing like on my first Christmas Eve, and I didn't want to sully such a precious memory with death." (Nith)
See? I knew it.
"You are the biggest fu-" (Me)
But before I could finish my part of being vulgar verbally, he lets go of Risa's ears, clearly putting me at a checkmate. No swearing in front of her is the rule I set for myself, which he exploits.
"What did you guys say again?! Spit it out already, commoners! How dare you leave me out of the conversation!" (Risa)
She reverts to a persona, trying to seem intimidating, but her childish body really doesn't do her any favors in that aspect. She doesn't play her roles as often as when we met her, which makes me kind of happy.
'Nith will never see it coming. Soon Risa and I will be best friends, and then she'll sleep at my house. I've been working on this plan for weeks.'
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Anticipating the time when can finally strike back right at the core of his being, I grab Risa's hand and run up the stairs with her. This all serves the purpose of preparing him for the future.
But as soon as I get a few meters ahead, I can sense Nith jumping right behind us, following with a grab at our collars. I choke for a second, but the thought of Nith envious makes it worth it.
"What? Could little weeny Nith not take it tha-" (Me)
But as soon as I turn around, I stop talking.
Nith didn't have a smug grin as I thought. In front of me is something that I never thought I would see.
Nith is frowning, showing a serious expression for the first time since I've known him.
"Wh... what? Are you really that angry that I-" (Me)
He puts his hand in front of my mouth, gesturing that I should be silent.
I feel my body tense up, as I've never seen him act like this. But soon I discover why he does so.
The air around us slithers into a weird static. Energy surrounds us, my hair standing on end.
"Uhm... what's going on?" (Risa)
"Shush, sweet summer child. Don't worry." (Nith)
He tries to brush it off as a joke, but I notice that he's still concerned.
A faint glow of golden light swims in front of my eyes, carried by the stagnant air in the stairway.
I can't recognize it in any way. It doesn't feel like mana, nor any kind of aura that I've seen before. For some reason, the only thing that comes to mind is the thing that Nith did to the metal that was used to summon the space whales.
The fog in front of me shimmers, giving off a completely different feel than the black inscription that Nith did a few days before. I can't describe it well, but it feels similar and meanwhile completely different.
An ominous feeling spreads in my stomach area. A voice in the back of my head I don't recognize tries to persuade me into fleeing, but I can't move.
Suddenly, the warmth of Risa's hand disappears. I turn my head to away from Nith, but there's no sign of her.
My body grows cold as if I am enveloped by creeping darkness.
The last thing I see is Nith, trying to grab me with the same golden glow on his hands as the one I just saw. My conscious falls into an abyss of the unknown, barely able to react to any of the last seconds.
*
----------------------------------------
*
Muddled.
In disarray.
I despise my state of mind. Chaos reigns over it and I have to force myself to concentrate, but somehow it proves to be more difficult than usual. The mana that would usually aid me at this part has left a gaping hole inside me, intensifying the clenching in my chest.
'What the fuck is going on?'
I still can't grasp the gravity of the situation, as I'm not fully awake yet.
But the muddy oil around me slowly lets go of its grasp. A few breaths of salvation save me from drowning, letting stale air enter my lungs.
The constricting feeling slowly dissipates, leaving me crouching on the cold, hard floor beneath me.
'Come on, why isn't it working?!'
I don't pay attention to my surroundings, still trying to get the energy I've become so familiar with to move. But it's not like I just ran out of mana.
The circulatory system that forced itself inside me long ago vanished completely. The part of my brain that's still disorganized starts to race in panic.
My physical capabilities are below average, so without magic, I can't protect myself in any way in this alien environment. I still can't comprehend what happened.
Slowly, my breathing gets erratic in response. An impending sense of doom makes its way through my thoughts, replacing the choke of the mud that transported me here, with its very own iron grip around my neck.
Helplessly, my eyes dart around in search of anything, or anyone to help me.
But that only proves to be the worst decision I could have made here.
My breathing stops. I would never forget this scene that plays out in front of me. It still haunts me to this day, not letting go of me whenever my mind wanders.
Rubble falls from the ceiling, presenting the floor above me sickly.
Bodyparts on the floor, fresh blood still dripping from their torn ligaments.
The people I've called schoolmates for the last years lie before me with lifeless eyes. Their stare burns through me as if they make me responsible for their death.
I stifle my own cry, knowing what would await me if I didn't do so.
"HELP!" (???)
Footsteps resound behind me through the hallway that I'm hiding from. Terror shakes through my limbs, demanding that I stay hidden. The poor soul that is pleading for someone to save his life runs past me and my hiding spot.
The relief I feel disgusts me just as much as the first time I lived through this.
I hoped to never experience this fear again.
The start of the apocalypse. The moment I felt the weakest and the most out of control. Doesn't matter if it's the situation or my own feelings. Nearly everything slipped out of my hands, crumbling to dust and sifting through my fingers like sand.
My life is in danger and it terrifies me.
Another shrill scream travels through every room. Instinctively, my hands cusp my ears and I close my eyes again, drowning out everything that could pull me further down the spiral.
Hey, Guys!
Is me... ya boi... God.
Even through my eyelids, the screen that announced the death of millions of people shows up. I ignore the rest of the messages, trying to cope with the despair that dug itself through my heart again.
How did this happen? What happened? Who did this?
Several unanswerable questions eat away at me.
I continue to cower behind the teacher's desk, which saved my life once before. I want to scream for help, but the only rational part left in my head tells me that that would be a death sentence. I want to cry, but it's no use and I know it.
Every emotion in my body wants me to lash out in frenzy, while my rationality holds on to save my life. It imprisons my emotions as the urge to survive.
My own instincts constrict my breathing.
It hurts. I want to gasp for air, but only tiny amounts enter my lung in panic. I break out in sweat, adrenaline pumps through my body in an attempt to prepare me for a futile struggle.
I am not mature enough to deal with this. I don't know if anyone could be mature enough to deal with this.
From inside me, a dark ooze wells up with negative thoughts. From the outside, several life-threatening situations await me.
I want to scream.
I want to weep.
I want to break down, losing any sense of conscious binding me to this sick reality.
But I hold myself back.
Like that, minutes pass. Back and forth in my mind, I try to remember what comes next, but the memories I have made over the last months feel so distant. As if they have been tinkered with, static rushes over them.
At this point, I am not even sure if the adventures I have had were real or just a delusion I made up as a defense mechanism.
But that's probably also what the person who brought me here wants me to think.
I cling onto the last shred of hope I have left. The stubborn part of me serves as a last resort, keeping me from completely crumbling down and falling into insanity. If it were just a few more moments of this, then I am not sure what would have become of me.
But I believe.
Because this is exactly the time where "he" appeared.
"A deadly play of hide n' seek, eh? This is way more fun than the torture in hell." (???)
I flinched involuntarily at the opening and closing of the door, but the nonsensical sentence I heard directly after that pulls me back up from the despair that I just felt.
To me, he is the one who has saved me from certain death. As cliché as it might sound, he was the idiotic light that rescued me from the beckoning darkness.
We have done so many stupid things together. He has made me so angry sometimes. He has made me laugh so much sometimes.
It's thanks to him that I am still able to experience life and everything around it.
He saved my parents without asking for anything other than a place to sleep.
He is the first person who I decided to follow and rely on, even if my competitive, hard-headed nature wouldn't allow it normally.
As my complete opposite, he is chaotic, narcissistic, and flexible. To this day, I can't understand why I feel so compelled to be around him, even though our personalities don't seem to match at all.
Nevertheless, at this point in time, I am happier than ever to see him again. The guy I trust the most. The one who always has a way out. The one who has helped me since the start of this whole disaster.
He is someone important to me.
I jump out of my hiding spot, already preparing for the inappropriate jokes he is bound to make.
"You have a lot of explaining to do, Ni-" (Me)
But the only thing that greets me is an empty classroom on the brink of collapse.
'Wait... I am sure that I heard his...'
Disappointment and confusion rush through me. I unmistakeably heard his voice just now. I am certain that I wouldn't mistake his voice with another after so much time together.
But soon, even the walls and the floor starts to melt away. The illusion crumbles, revealing a picture that I didn't expect to see for my whole life.
Carnage.
Flames.
Scorched earth as far as my eyes can see. Corpses in armor decorate the dark battlefield that screams war. But the battle seems to be long over.
There are no more people fighting. No, to be more precise, there is no one left alive. I would mistake this to be a still image if it weren't for the fires flickering and illuminating this place.
Suddenly, I notice that these aren't human corpses.
White wings grow out of the backs of some, while some others have black horns similar to... Risa's? There are even demons among the bodies.
'What happened here?'
My natural response is to wonder what happened, but I erase this question from my mind as soon as it came up. What happened here is the least of my concerns right now.
My gaze wanders across the tragedy that unfolds before me, until I discover an irregularity in this otherwise even plane. A mountain of corpses, which should be scattered all over the place.
And on top of it...
"...Nith?" (Me)
I barely manage to utter his name.
On top of it sits a boy in his late teens with black hair, his face burrowed in his hands. Although I can't see any of his facial features, I can identify him immediately.
Although... I can't believe that it is really him.
In my head, I can't connect the scene in front of me with the idea of Nith in my head. The childish, mannerless, impudent guy that I know, who always has this smug smile on his damn face. But in front of me is someone who barely has any features of the person I know.
My mind involuntarily connects the stranger in front of me and the unfamiliar environment.
An uncomfortable concern develops inside me. A concern I know to be false. A concern that makes me hit myself just for the bare thought of believing it, only because of a situation I know nothing about.
'Do I really know him?'
He hasn't heard me call out his name. I still believe that...
No.
I still hope that inside of those burrowed hands is a smile I just couldn't see until now. I notice how significant that smile has become for me. A symbol of reassurance. A safety net.
But despite my deepest wishes, I know that that wouldn't be the case.
The only thing I get is a ridiculous scoff from him, as he lifts his face and finally reveals to me what expression he makes.
"No, no, Trick. I'm alright. Thanks for asking buddy." (Nith)
He forces a smile, but that doesn't prevent the feeling I get from him.
He's not sad. He isn't crying. There is no hate, disappointment, grief, or sorrow.
'He is tired.'
Not physically tired. It's not a muscle ache that goes away after a few days.
I can see that he has exhausted the energy that makes him go on. The energy that lets a person live their life. It's visible through his hollow eyes.
Through the bags under his eyes, that I usually find kind of endearing. Even if I know that they stem from sleepless nights.
Through the way he is hunched over. Although his muscular body still makes it look like he is sitting straight.
I can feel that he usually hides it deep inside of him. As if he tries to forget about it himself.
"Right? I would be at the top of the leader scores with this many kills." (Nith)
His attempt to make a joke breaks my heart into pieces. The snappiness I know is gone, but I don't blame him. How could I? Just the selfish thought of missing his smile makes me loathe myself.
I take a second, hesitant, look at him, hoping that my eyes deceived me. The flame that I thought was burning scaldingly hot inside him now barely seems like the ash left behind.
At that moment, several aspects of Nith jump into my head. Aspects, which I have been trying to overlook.
The endless nights he spends without sleeping.
The lack of food he eats.
The spontaneous instances where he starts to hyperventilate and sweat.
His constant desire to throw himself into fights and keep himself busy.
Slowly, guilt creeps up my stomach. I've known about these habits for weeks, even months. But I have decided to willingly overlook them.
'Why?'
I have constantly been trying to convince myself that it was for Nith's sake. He didn't want to talk about it, even if I asked him directly. He would always brush over it or turn the situation into a joke. So it was better to leave him room to breathe, right?
I don't know how I could believe such a stupid lie I told myself.
I am sure that I could have gotten something out of him. Something from his past, other than the fact that he came from hell. Something that could let me help him for once.
So why didn't I? For Nith's sake? No.
Deep down, I know it. My own selfish reason.
I wanted him to stay my savior. I put my hope in him, so I didn't want him to be flawed. Even if I acknowledged some of his unhealthy habits and tried to help him occasionally, I didn't want my picture of him to be changed. I wanted it to be just like I imagined.
Of course, I worried. Several times I wanted him to take it easy. But he always looked like he was alright with it. Or maybe it was just me, trying not to see it again.
The memory I just experienced in the classroom was a replay of the worst thing that ever happened to me. If this is Nith's version of it, then... a few things make more sense.
My head works tirelessly, trying to connect the dots. But the more I connect, the more I realize just how little I actually know about the person I have spent months with. Once more, the question "Do I really know him?" forces its way into the spotlight.
'No, that's not fair.'
The amount I don't know about him does not negate everything I do know about him.
I knew that he was in hell for a period of time, so he must have done something to get there. But I still don't believe he is a bad person, nor do I believe that he killed anyone because he wanted to.
I trust in him more than a few unexplained corpses could convince me. My resolve only strengthens through the things I still know about him.
I try to focus. This might be the only opportunity for a long time to learn something about Nith.
But as soon as I look at his face again, I am overwhelmed by heartbreak.
What could have happened to him to become so hollow?
Why doesn't he want to talk about it?
Is his smile just a farce he puts on to hide his real self?
A wave of dejection washes over me, bringing down any kind of resolve I just made.
"Well then, where could the other two be hiding?" (Nith)
Unconsciously, my feet start to move towards him. My desire to reassure him, know more about him carries me through the void that I am standing on.
But my slow shuffle is stopped by an invisible wall between me and him. I bang on the wall, hoping that he would hear me, but to no avail. My hammering doesn't produce any sound.
He descends down the mountain, every step of his devoid of joy. Stride by stride his walk becomes heavier, more sluggish than I have ever seen. The closer he comes to me, the more I can see how this illusion has affected him.
He walks past me, although I am still trying to catch his attention in frustration.
Only a few meters past, he stops.
"I can't just keep this from ya. Would be rude if I did so." (Nith)
He turns around again, looking directly at me.
He waves his hand, a faint golden glow seeps out of it. The exact same golden glow that transported me here.
'Why... what?'
My voice doesn't escape my mouth. I don't understand anything anymore. What is that power? It can't be that he teleported us here, so why does he have that?
As soon as the sinister, golden shimmer interweaves with the air, a curtain falls from reality.
As if he just tore down a wall that was supposed to separate us from each other.
Damp.
Cold.
The only person left out of us three is Risa. The thought of her experiencing something similar to us horrifies me.
But this space around us doesn't pick favorites, as the dark lonely room in from of me insinuates. The cute little Risa, who I have closed into my heart so quickly, cowers on the rocky, freezing floor. Her face buried into her knees, I hear quiet crying.
It's barely audible, but with each of her sobs, it becomes more distinct.
I don't want to see this.
I don't want to see her in the tattered clothes she's wearing.
Tears start to trickle down my cheeks in sympathy at the cruel show that's being presented before me.
Risa, locked up in a basement. She barely looks younger, but her thin face and feeble arms show how malnourished she is.
Nothing is around her. No toys she could play with. No bed to sleep in. No friends to spend time with.
If it weren't for the light from Nith's illusion, I wouldn't even be able to see her. There are no lights where she trembles. Only the lonely, hard floor.
"I didn't do anything..." (Risa)
She whispers. Her voice lacking the strength to be any louder than that.
From above the staircase she's hiding under, screaming voices can be heard. Their muffled arguing can barely be made out, but just enough to know what they are saying.
"I TOLD YOU... CHILD OF THE DEVIL!" (???)
"I am not..." (Risa)
"YOU... TO HER! LOOK AT... HORNS NOW!" (???)
"I'm not evil..." (Risa)
She tries to answer the female and male voices respectively but only manages to justify herself through her sniveling.
A heavily abusive household.
I remember the first time we met her in a dark side-room of this tower. She told us that she forgot how she got there. She also told us that she isn't very good with adults.
The mere social anxiety I labeled her with seems so childish now. Even her use of a persona rips my heart out with hellish force, the more I try to make sense out of it.
She escaped reality. She escaped reality so much, that we just thought that that's how she is. Just a little quirk of hers, which we thought was adorable.
Every single eccentricity of hers can be traced back to this dark, dank cellar that she grew up in.
The habit of rubbing her horns when she is nervous or bothered. Developed from her religious parents, calling her the devil.
Her fear of adults, reminding her of her childhood.
Her naivety, stemming from a lack of human contact.
The list goes on, but it hurts too much to think about it. I can't bear to look at her any longer, but I force myself to. After all, this is her. This is what made her her. It would hurt me more to deny her past than to see it through right now.
Nith seemingly came to a similar conclusion. This is one of the moments where I can't imagine what he's thinking about, as he steps into Risa's illusion.
His soft steps drown out the fierce argument that comes out of the slit under the door.
But with every resounding footstep, Risa flinches in fear. The closer we come, the more afraid she gets.
"Come on now, sweet summer child. No need to be so scared." (Nith)
Her whimpering stops at his gentle voice. I feel something artificial braided into it, calming even me down to a natural level. Or maybe it was just the fact that Risa finally stopped crying.
But she keeps her head down, hiding behind her own legs. She also must have recognized Nith, but she probably doesn't know how to react to it.
Slowly, he inches closer, his arms open. The golden glow escapes his fingertips again. The illusion around Risa crumbles down.
Only her and Nith are left in the bright void, as he puts the cowering Risa into his embrace.
There is no sign of the typical perversion he would usually show in this situation. No weird comments or cheesy jokes. No heavy breathing or erratic behavior.
He only smiles down at Risa, whose anguish became audible again. Her sniveling becomes crying. Her crying becomes sobbing. Her sobbing weeping. Until she lets it all out in Nith's arms.
He strokes her hair while she bawls her eyes out. Considerate, gentle. His calm demeanor shows confidence, pulling Risa out of the nervous fight or flight state she's in. To the best of his abilities, he assures her that she is no longer in any kind of danger. He exudes a natural aura that rocks you into calmness.
Like a child in her father's embrace. Safe. Secure. As if there is nothing that could harm her.
Once again, an involuntary selfish thought spreads in my head with determination. A thought that I will support. A wish that I will strive towards.
'I want to be there for them.'
Right now, I don't feel like I deserve it. It is no use to compare sorrows or lament past mistakes, but I don't deserve it. My pathetic struggles seem insignificant in front of the experiences they had. I curse my past self for always overlooking their problems.
It was as if I only looked at them from a distance. And now, I feel more distant from them than ever.
My feet refuse to carry me to them, although I want to console Risa just as much as Nith. This time, it has to be him who shows her that she is not alone.
But it won't stay that way. I want to be part of it.
Not as someone who is consoled by Nith, or even Risa.
Not as someone who is protected.
I want to be the one they rely on. As someone who can console both of them, although their problems seem unsolvable.
A red light dances on Nith's fingertip. Risa's crying stops, replaced by rhythmic breathing.
I know that he will soon do the same to me, but the steadfast new resolve in my heart tightens. His arm travels in my direction, pointing his hand at me.
I see his cheerful, but strained smile for the last time.
Clad in sorrow, but with a new goal, my eyes shut close and I fall into darkness.