We run along the white cliffs of Dover for nearly an hour, with no end in sight. The basic composition of these cliffs has seemingly changed, since they don't exactly smell like chalk anymore, but more like a mix of several other substances.

'You pick up weird things while running for a while.'

With every passing day, I notice more how much the world has changed because of the merge. Places, which shouldn't be longer than a few kilometers, have been stretched to several dozen. How the earth itself has changed in size or shape is only imaginable.

"Please put your shirt back on." (Jess)

"Behold, the body of a deity." (Me)

The marathon I ran with a piece of slight luggage left me sweaty, so I decided to take my shirt off. Because my stats are mostly put into physical aspects, my muscles have been defined and cultivated enough to make it seem like I was chiseled in old Greece. My body looks a bit disproportionate, since I still have the face of a boy who just came out of puberty, but that's the price you have to pay for beauty.

I take a few poses like a bodybuilder, leaving Jess to blush while looking away.

"CALL ME DANNY DEVITO!" (Me)

"FUCK OFF!" (Jess)

But I can see it in her gaze. Her longing to touch 'em.

'Did we just find a fetish of hers?'

'Fuck, my nose is bleeding again...'

While I taunt Jess with my cannons, Risa doesn't really seem to care about them and rather strikes a few poses herself, which look way cooler than mine, which does not hurt me in the slightest.

Now that she's back to her old self, I feel relief.

The coastal wind cools my sweaty body, as I approach the mountain of metal I have carried like a fucking MULE! Jess follows me, standing next to me when I arrive in front of it. Since the pile of future equipment weighs several tons, I have put it on the ground a few meters earlier.

"So..." (Jess)

I feel her mana circulating, causing her to shoot towards the peak of the mountain and sitting down on it, but leaving her feet dangling down. Apparently, she can not only control the metal itself, but also attract herself towards it, which made it possible to jump like that.

"What are we supposed to do with this? Just make equipment out of it?" (Jess)

"Fu fu fu, how foolish of you, my dear metal bender!" (Risa)

At this point, Risa herself blesses us with her presence, being done with her pose rehearsal. Her black hair flutters in the strong winds, as she points at Jess with a smug smile on her face.

Jess, in return, just smiles at her wholesomely.

"Oh yeah? Go on, what's all this about, then?" (Jess)

Risa spreads her wings, elevating herself onto the same height as Jess is at the moment. If it weren't for the fact that they were friends, this would look like they were about to throw down. And I'm meanwhile definitely not looking at her blue-striped panties from below her.

"THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM KEEPS RISING! NO ONE KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT! WHO WILL MAKE THE FIRST MOVE?!" (Me)

'TRULY, A FRIGHTENING BATTLE BETWEEN TWO WORLD POWERS! WHO WILL PREVAIL? THE THICC TSUNDERE, OR THE CHUUNIBYOU LOLI?!'

After a few seconds of silence, which Risa obviously created on purpose, she lets out the answer proudly, which would decide this match of giants.

"Of course, it's to build the aforementioned gadg-" (Risa)

But, to her misfortune, her answer was not entirely right.

"While it tears my heart asunder to say this, Risa, but you are wrong!" (Me)

"Eh? ...ah...ok..." (Risa)

Dejected, she looks down while sulking. She slowly levitates towards Jess, where she sits down beside her, leaving me standing alone on the ground. My heart has been officially shattered to pieces, but I shall not give up.

"What are these for then?" (Jess)

While Risa was actually not entirely wrong, there's a whole different thing I wanted to do originally to get a few power-ups. That's also why I chose this location in the first place, since some monsters actually only appear at certain locations.

'NOW YOU'RE JUST STRAIGHT UP STEALIN' FROM P*KEMON!'

'IT'S THE TRUTH! I SWEAR!'

"So, Jess, you should actually be able to explain a tiny part of that for me: What new properties do you experience from metal, now that you have such a deep connection with it?" (Me)

Risa looks up at Jess, while the person in question leads a finger to her mouth, thinking about it for a while.

"I'm not quite sure how to explain this... it's like it's giving off a frequency, that tells me that it's present?" (Jess)

"Correct!" (Me)

I pull out a beam of metal, which is about 2 meters long and easily 20 cm thicc. The cold object in my hand sends out mana in sporadic waves, which is a unique characteristic of magic metals. This feature also plays a big part in armor creation and how their effects end up, but that's not important right now.

"Magic metals send out waves of mana, which can be stronger or weaker, depending on the mana concentration inside them!" (Me)

The metal-pillar glares at me with a blue hue, showing that it actually has quite a lot of mana inside it.

Saraktium

A metal brimming with impure mana. Although it falls under the category of the hardened metals, it lacks other attributes, rendering it worthless in most cases.

As I read the metal's description, I notice that the screen hides a lot of crucial information about it. Not only does it not say, what kind of frequency the metal's mana vibrates at, but also what its more detailed features are.

"POPQUIZ!"

Both of them suddenly focus on me, making me feel a bit overwhelmed by all the attention I'm getting.

"Now! What do you think happens, if some monsters feed off exactly those mana-waves and a shitload of magic metal is collected on one spot!" (Me)

While Risa immediately raises her arm, Jess's eyes lose all signs of life in them. The cause of that is unknown to anyone but her.

"Y-... You're kidding right?" (Jess)

"You didn't raise your arm, so that's cheating! Yes, Risa!" (Me)

"Are you taking the pi-" (Jess)

"The monsters will come and swarm the metal!" (Risa)

"BINGO! As expected of the honors student!" (Me)

Risa recovers from her previous loss with this one right answer, while Jess slowly realizes that we'll very soon be in a shitload of trouble. Since... well... that exact pile of metal is right here with all the energy you could ever wish for.

"And without any precautions, the mana can fill the environment freely, and as such, attract monsters!" (Me)

Immediately, a chunk of metal comes flying at my head, trying to bash me, like in a slapstick comedy scene. But I will never yield to the patriarchy of clichés, and as such catch it without a problem.

"My dear Jess, isn't it a bit naive to think that you could really-" (Me)

A second one flies at my head and a big *BONK* signals its impact.

"Aight, two at once, don't you think that's cheating? I mean, I only have two arms, and one of them was already-" (Me)

"You are going to lure monsters in our immediate vicinity. I will use as many bloody chunks of metal as I please." (Jess)

"Keep being a naughty girl and I will spank you!" (Me)

Immediately, she pulls both flying pieces of slapstick instruments away from me, since she knows damn well that I'm a man of my word. Slight regret spreads in my heart, since she actually pulled away.

'I kinda wanted to do those spanks.'

'We all did.'

"So, should we prepare for battle now?" (Jess)

"NONE SHALL SURVIVE THE BLACK FLAMES FROM RISA OF NEUSCHWANSTEIN!" (Risa)

"NEW TITLE! I LIKE YOUR ENTHUSIASM!" (Me)

But it's not exactly yet time to fight, yet. While the metal already does send out its mana uncontrolled, there are still some requirements that have to be met, to actually lure out the monsters that I so desperately need.

"Hold your horses, cowgirls! I still have a few things to do, before the monsters actually appear! You can't just throw a bunch of ingots together in one place and hope for some monsters to take a whiff of it! You still have to prepare it... Just like a good steak!" (Me)

"This is rather like a well-done one..." (Jess)

"..." (Me)

Silence. Risa and I look at Jess with wide-open eyes, aghast at what she just said.

"Did... did you just make a joke?" (Risa)

"It was a shit one, but I think she did." (Me)

"IT WASN'T THAT BAD!" (Jess)

'Let's just put her situation in her favor, and say she's still a beginner.'

' *Sniff* I'm so proud of her. Her first joke...'

Realizing, that some of my birds will at one point leave the nest and fly, I get emotional. For some, it's the process of becoming mature and building a family, while for others it's the simple act of making a shitty joke, that actually signals their coming of age.

To vent my frustration, I activate "Ember", which makes the pillar of metal in my hand become more formable, like a piece of very dense and mana-filled playdough. I can only do that, since one of the additional features of Saraktium is that it is weak to fire and melts very easily.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Both of them watch me interested, while I form the tip of the metal rod so it looks like a hook. Since the metal was already processed, I don't need to pull out the ol' reliable anvil from the huge pile. I just need to change its shape, so it would fit my plan.

Jess crosses her arms and legs, while still sitting on top. With my heightened reaction time, I can catch a glimpse of her panties as well, which fulfills today's quota.

"Stop being so silent, it's not like you. What is the plan now?" (Jess)

"Yes, answer my assistant! Shall this one ready herself to obliterate an enemy?" (Risa)

With one fast pull, I yank out an extremely long chain, which is made of the same material as my makeshift harpoon. Apparently, Saraktium is the least rare metal in our precious church-loot, as a big part of it is just ores or general, processed equipment out of it. That's probably, since that exact metal is the most accessible right now, since it's found relatively near the surface. For more precious metal, you'd have to dig deeper than most people can right now, or kill monsters which are hard to encounter/kill.

I attach the chain, which is easily 100 meters long, but disproportionally thin, to the harpoon by melting them together. By jumping quickly to the ocean and back, I cool it down, so they actually stay attached to each other.

"Arrrr! Aight, mateys! From now on I'm a pirate, so ye maggots better listen to me well!" (Me)

Both of them listen to me intently.

"The monsters of the sea are calling to me with their enchanting voices, arrr! So I will answer their voices and fight against the damn monster who took this leg of mine!" (Me)

"You still have both of your legs." (Jess)

"Don't ruin my joke, arr!" (Me)

With one final step, I pull out a similar pillar to the one I started with and attach the other end of the chain to it. With that, my provisory harpoon has been finished. Although it could've been done better, I have to make do with it right now, since I have to hurry a bit or else some of the church's pursuers might catch up to us.

You created the weapon "Harpoon of tenacity"

Harpoon of tenacity

-Rank: Rare

-Attack: 800

-Option: 1. More likely to stay attached to the target.

This harpoon has been made by someone with high proficiency, but lacking materials. While the intent behind it has attached an option to it, it doesn't have any other peculiar features.

The fact that I didn't have a mana stone with me, made this harpoon way weaker than it should have been. While I did create it to the best of my abilities, I can't really say I'm proud of this one.

I ram the unsharpened and nearly untouched part of the two ends into the ground, leaving only a few centimeters on the earth's surface.

"THIS SHALL BE THE RESTRICTOR OF THE CREATURE, ARR!" (Me)

"You are not going to give us a proper answer, are you?" (Jess)

"It would spoil the surprise, arrr!" (Me)

At this point, I decide to do something, which I haven't done in centuries. I would rather have even avoided to do it, since it's not exactly pleasant for me with all the experiences I had with it, but some things can't be avoided.

'Trick? Good buddy, ol' pal?'

'I won't lend you more money. You already owe me-'

'I'll explain things a bit more when we get back home, so just be patient until then, aight?~'

'Oh, if you already ask so nicely, how can I say no to that.~'

I take a deep breath in. The energy I'm currently mainly using is mana, which is mostly a type of empowerment, which is pure in its nature. Of course, it can have impurities, but it doesn't have any attributes until changed by a user or different kind of medium. It's one of the purest powers in the universe. Originating from the very first point at the universe makes it the origin of all matter and life.

But that does not mean that it's the only kind of power.

With time, there were people who tried to create their own kind of power, trying not to be bound to the same source as others. Several people tried to do exactly that, but there were only very few people who actually managed to do exactly that.

The most famous of those were the ruler of heaven, hell, and purgatory.

'...'

'I don't know why it was called something as edgy as "Purgatory". Maybe that's the reason why all of them wear only black.'

'Just a bunch of goth deities chilling on another realm. Playing hard-punk and wearing gas masks.'

'Not like I was ever one of them...'

I sweat profusely.

The powers of those beings slowly seeped into the fabric of the very universe, becoming omnipresent and causing their creators to rise in power. After a teeny tiny bit of time, every being in the universe started to integrate exactly that power.

'Making it accessible to nearly anyone with a little effort!'

And for my plan, I need one of those aforementioned powers.

The rusty clockwork in my soul starts creaking, as it works for the first time in a few lifetimes. Although I don't want to use it, the opportunity of a run in life such as this one is unique, so I can't really be picky.

I tap into the scarce pool of power inside of this body, which feels unlike the mana that I've used up until now. While mana flows inside every being naturally, it feels like this energy is alien to my body and soul, having trouble to circulate inside it correctly, even though everyone is born with it. Although I could access it quickly, since I already have experience with it, it's pretty much impossible for anyone without a natural predisposition for it.

The scarce amount of purgatory energy I can muster up, I collect at the tip of my finger. It brims with an ominous aura, which should make anyone feel uncomfortable in the immediate vicinity.

"Aight, Jess, bend over. It's time for your prostate exam, arrr." (Me)

"Get the fuck away from me." (Jess)

'See? Makes people uncomfortable.'

'Hate to break it to you buddy, but that's not it...'

I approach the mass of metal one last time, but before I reach it, someone actually gets in my way.

"WOOOOOOOW!" (Risa)

Risa jumped down as fast as she could and is now right in front of my index finger, staring at it with glistening eyes. Her horns recently became long enough, that they nearly poke me now because of how close she is.

"Aye, the youth of today sure is curious! Righty, bend over and-" (Me)

But before I could even finish off my sentence, a metal rod picks Risa up at the back of her collar, making her dangle in the air, before bringing her to Jess on top of the hill.

"What are you going to do with that finger? And what in the hell even is that?" (Jess)

"That, ye wench, is something we pirates call "STD"!" (Me)

With one flick of my wrist, the black aura forms a symbol in mid-air, akin to the runes of the celts. Following my command, it slowly floats towards the heap of metal, before burning itself into it.

Immediately, I see Jess jump off the pile in pure surprise. Astonished, she looks at her previous seat.

"GREAT SCOTT! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?!" (Jess)

She holds her nose shut, even though even I can't smell anything at all. She doesn't look disgusted, it's more like she's just overwhelmed by the smell of something.

"What's got ye shiverin' in yer boots, Jess?" (Me)

"Bloody hell! It smells as if I've sniffed a whole, pulverized bar of iron!" (Jess)

"That's the plan, ya landlubber! Without this, ain't no sea creature would've smelled this from a buncha sea-miles away!" (Me)

The integrated rune I created was supposed to have exactly that effect. Even without it, metal-loving monsters would've appeared, but none which would be worth my while. Mostly small fry would approach us.

"I NEED THE BIG FISH, ARR!" (Me)

"Wait..." (Jess)

Her nasal sound switches to suspicious very quickly, as she seems to realize one specific detail I have tried my best to keep hidden until now.

"Wasn't the fact that we found the church and, with that, this huge pile of metal coincidence? I mean, you couldn't have predicted that." (Jess)

"Arr, that's right matey!" (Me)

Starting with a few stretches, I prepare for possibly the most unprepared fight I would have until now. I lack any kind of armor, don't even have a shirt on and my only weapon is a harpoon. But I still don't regret anything, since the Michael Jackson jokes were-

'-fucking golden.'

"So what would you have done, if we hadn't found it? You wouldn't have any metal to lure the monster over here, right?" (Jess)

My muscles slowly warm up, while Jess looks at me with curiosity written all over her face. But the answer to this question should actually be pretty obvious.

"Waddaya mean? We got a source of metallic mana right here!" (Me)

I finish my warm-up, even though she still doesn't seem to get it. Or she might've already guessed it, but doesn't want to accept the reality of me, putting her up on a stick and flaunting her in front of a monster's face.

"Do you... mean...?" (Jess)

Slowly, shivering, she points at herself. A wry smile is spread across her face, which is actually kinda cute, since she's torn between her trust in my common sense and her knowledge about my personality.

I nod with a smile on my face.

"Nith, this is not funny!" (Jess)

She laughs at first. My smile seems to have reassured her, but now she slowly realizes, that it could have gone both ways. Either it's a smile, which should comfort her by saying that it's a joke, or a smile which validates her answer.

"Wait, that was a joke, right? Nith?" (Jess)

"I told you to stop being so cheeky." (Me)

"Please tell me that was a joke." (Jess)

She shakes me, trying to get an answer out of me by doing so, but I ignore it. Her, panicking, is a fitting punishment for preventing Risa's prostate exam.

'IT WAS FOR PURE MEDICAL REASONS!'

'No, it fucking wasn't.'

'Stop reading my mind!'

'OH, I'M SORRY! LET ME JUST PICK UP A BOOK AND READ THAT REAL QUICK! AH, WAIT! I DON'T HAVE A BODY!'

'Someday, I'll get back at you as well, voice in my head.'

At this point, where we all just have a nice time with each other, it finally happens. The noise of an omnipresent bell rings around us, interrupting Jess's interrogation, Risa's chuckling and my discussion with the voice in my head. The bell doesn't sound like anything this world would have to offer, but rather seems to be coming from the space around us itself. An ethereal, and yet, ear-shattering sound.

A vortex is created in the sky. Everything around us is getting pulled into it, as if a storm was blowing it in that direction, but the three of us stand firm.

"TIS' NOTHIN' BUT A BREEZE!" (Me)

Space itself tears apart at the place where the epicenter of the vortex is. Starting with a few cracks, it slowly expands, as if shattering like glass, leaving a massive hole in space. It continues to expand until the mouth of the creature I practically summoned is visible.

Floating through the hole in space, which seems to be connected to a dark realm devoid of any light, comes a white whale. But unlike the usual blue whale you'd see in the ocean, this one is more than five times as big as one. Surrounding him are 3 rings of what seems like some kind of metal, helping it levitate in the air.

"BEHOLD! THE CREATURE THAT TOOK MY LEG! TODAY, WE WILL END OUR BRAWL FROM YEARS BACK!" (Me)

The white whale flies through the hole in space sluggishly. But even though it's slow, it does not take a long time for it to escape the distorted space, since it's working for it. As soon as the creature of the sea escapes the void, the hole clos-

"Nith?" (Jess)

It didn't close.

"Huh..." (Me)

Different from what I expected, another two, smaller versions of that exact same monster appear. While I say "smaller", the two of them are nearly twice as big as the Arachmot I fought before.

"Are there supposed to be three of them?" (Jess)

The happy little family in the sky exits the hole and it closes just as fast as it appeared. As soon as the drama queens finished arriving with their great entrance, their eyes shift to the assortment of metal I have stolen.

"SO YE BROUGHT YER KIN?! WHAT A CHEATIN' BASTARD YE ARR!" (Me)

'You're with two others as we-'

'Don't you dare accuse me of cheating. He weighs about 10000 times what I weigh, so he's the one cheating in the first place.'

"There weren't supposed to be any more of them, were there?" (Jess)

Disappointed, Jess judges me.

"It was totally intended! One for each of us! Pirates share their booty equally!" (Me)

But she doesn't take my lie at face value and just judges me even more. With disdain, she faces the enemy as well, clearly trying to think of a way to get out of this conversation.

Meanwhile, the two remaining people on this coast get excited as they see such an immense enemy in front of them.

"IT SHALL NOT MATTER HOW MANY ENEMIES THERE ARE! THE GREAT RISA WILL OBLITERATE THEM ALL!" (Risa)

"ARRR! THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" (Me)

"Bloody hell, why do I hang out with you..." (Jess)

Having spotted their food, the three flying fucks make their way towards us. The smell should be something along the lines of a 5-star dinner to them, as their mouths already water.

I pick up the harpoon I have made before and try to get a feel for it. The cold metal withstands my full force grip and I start to aim it at the tactical nukes flying towards us. The buffs "Orc's strength", "Hellfighter" and the effect of the title "Tough lil' cunt" activate, causing my arm to swell with power. Without the increase in levels from Orc's strength, I wouldn't be sure about having enough strength and would have to resort to the good ol' trusty partner "Berserker". But now that I have those necessary levels, I have a bit more leeway to work with.

"CREW! FROM NOW ON, YE SHOULD NOT CALL ME DANNY DEVITO!" (Me)

'That didn't take long.'

Several pieces of metal fly towards Jess, as she makes them levitate around her as her personal weapon arsenal. Meanwhile, Risa spreads her wings and poses as usual.

"WE NEVER DID!" (Jess)

I reach back with the harpoon in my hand. My muscles stretch as I put it as far behind me as I can, to get the most power out of my throw.

"CALL ME CAPTAIN AHAB!" (Me)

As I fire it off with the most power I can muster, it cuts through the air with incredible speed. A few meters in, the spear breaks the sound barrier, on full course to the whale's face. If it weren't for the increased "Orc's strength" buff, this wouldn't be possible.

The chain the harpoon is attached to, rattles while being unfolded. Its only goal is to keep the target as close to the ground as its length allows.

It's time for the impact. The harpoon is a few centimeters in front of the white whale's face, and hi-

*SLAP*

"..." (Me)

The whale turned around, faster than his body should allow it to. With its tailfin, he slapped the spear out of its trajectory, leaving it to fall on the ground anticlimactically.

Both parties hold on for a second, watching the harpoon get closer to the earth by the second.

They look at me. The pressure is immense.

"You know..." (Me)

The whale, who just slapped my weapon away, has now turned back around, making it 5 sentient beings who observe my every move.

"Can't we just talk it out?" (Me)

They don't want to talk it out.