Complete silence rules over this dark, damp room. The lights flicker, as the girl with cute horns looks at me.

"Edgy? Let's see if you'll still say that, after looking at my demonic eye!" (Risa)

Quickly, she stands up and turns away from us. It's clearly to put the colored contact she just pulled out of her pocket in, but I would never disturb an actor in their role. I'm an appreciator of art in many ways and forms.

Some of those forms may be watching little girls acting cutely silly.

She turns back around, one of her eyes closed. Her smug smile really fits the whole character, persuading me ever so slightly to play along.

"WITHER IN FRONT OF THE MIGHT OF THE DEMONIC EYE! DEMONS HAVE PERISHED AND ANGELS HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" (Risa)

'Angels have been what now?'

'She's actually not too far off. Most of them aren't exactly Ms. Doubtfire.'

My gaze wanders to Jess for a second, who still doesn't quite get the situation, in hopes of her hearing my reference to one of Britain's most popular characters. I know it was in my head, but I think we're close enough already to hear each other's thoughts.

For example, I can hear her thinking "What the fuck?" while the girl named Risa lets her hand flow in front of her right eye and opens it dramatically. From under her eyelid, a crimson eye is revealed.

"Do you feel your power weakening? I call this technique the "ANGELS EYE!" (Risa)

"Wait, wasn't it the demonic eye before?" (Jess)

She continues to do semi-impressive movements, accentuating her right eye. Jess looks at me with a confused expression, hoping I could help her.

I don't know what she expected, but she looked at the wrong address.

"AAAHHHH! MY POWER! MY POWER IS DRAINING! THE ANGEL'S EYE IS TOO POWERFUL!" (Me)

"You are taking the piss." (Jess)

I drop to the floor, holding my chest.

"Huh?" (Risa)

Unaccustomed to someone actually playing along, she just stands there, baffled.

Spitting out blood (even though she never hit me), I glance at her.

"However, you've overlooked one crucial detail!" (Me)

"F- Fu fu fu! The angel's eye never overlooks anything!" (Risa)

I rip my gauntlet off and show her my pulsating arm, which is pumping too much blood cause I might've pushed an ass-load of mana inside it for dramatic purposes. I can't just get out-acted, can I?

I've got a reputation to lose here.

"EXCEPT FOR ITS ETERNAL ENEMY! THE DRAGON'S CLAW!" (Me)

"*GASP! To think that you'd appear in this place, right in front of me...*" (Risa)

'BY THE AKASHIC RECORD! I- IT CAN'T BE! TWO OF THE DEIFIC ARTIFACTS IN ONE ROOM?! THE DAMAGE IT COULD CAUSE'

"We need an adult..." (Jess)

The girl in front of me and I strike a battle pose. She broke out of her confusion and is now challenging me ferociously. I can see the fire in her eyes, urging me to get my own colored contacts.

"You think you can escape me? DOOMING HELLFIRES OF HEAVEN!" (Risa)

'HOW CAN SHE WIELD SUCH POWER?! By the way, her names are getting ridiculous lmao.'

Suddenly, a black flame erupts from her right hand as she puts it up in the air menacingly.

"Hol' up. You're playing with fire, young lady." (Me)

And then, she throws the flame right at me.

It levitates towards me, slowly. I think about dodging it but finally decide against it.

"Wha- DODGE IT!" (Risa)

Clearly expecting me to be someone with common fucking sense, shock spreads on her face as soon as she realizes I'm not. There's little I wouldn't do to activate my "Berserker" buff.

"Why are you doing this again?" (Jess)

"I can't just run away if I'm the Dragon's claw, can I??" (Me)

The dark flame flickers with the feeling of impending doom, sucking in all the scarce light this room has. Even though it's a flame, it feels frighteningly cold. As if it's eating away everything warm in its path.

The distance between the scared girl and me might just be a few meters, but the flame still needs several seconds to cross the distance. Her control must still be low for it to be so slow.

As it finally lands on my chest, my breastplate melts away rapidly. The still wet armor doesn't even stand a chance, and my flesh doesn't do any better.

'Wait a hot minute (pun intended), I know this kind of flame.'

'From where?'

The nostalgic smell of the flame's mana tickles my nose, reminding me of a time in my life I don't really want to remember.

'Well, before I actually went to hell, I had to do a few... "detours"...'

'Okay?'

'Long story short, purgatory.'

'Sure, why wouldn't the son of the cunt above fall to purgatory. Just another fucking Tuesday.'

'It was Monday, actually. I'm just wondering why the flames of purgatory would be merged with a normal human? I mean, technically they shouldn't really be on either of the two merged planets...'

I coat my right hand in mana and brush the fire off like nothing, something I learned over the years while I was acquainted with a bunch of edgy angels. The flame might've disappeared, but the hole in my chest remains.

"Jess..." (Me)

I turn around.

"Will you fill the hole in my gaping chest?" (Me)

"You should literally be dead right now. How the hell are you still alive?" (Jess)

"Pure passion and love?" (Me)

"Yeah, that's not going to work here." (Jess)

I'll be honest, her rejection hurts more than the sizzling gap in my ribcage.

"...That kinda hurts. Well, since I have high HP, it forcibly hinders me from dying, and with enough mana you can help your blood clot if you use it the right way. Human anatomy with Nith!" (Me)

"That still doesn't justify the fact that you're trying to get hurt as much as possible!" (Jess)

"Kinda does?" (Me)

While Jess is trying to put me in the right place, I turn back to Risa.

As I look at her closely, she seems to be a bit younger than my current body is. She should be around 16 years old, by my crude estimate.

If you take away the one contact lens, then you'll see her green eyes, which look quite nice coupled with her black hair. Although I can already see a tint of black in her gaze, coming from her merged counterpart.

But her body is still not visible since her robe is still on. For now, she seems to have a petite figure, more than anything.

Hesitatingly, she tries to approach me with teary eyes. Her hands reach out for me but pull back as soon as they get close.

'Yes, come here! There's no need to be afraid! I swear we're nice!'

"I- I didn't want to really hurt you! A- are you alright?" (Risa)

"Splendid. Why you asking?" (Me)

"W- well..." (Risa)

She points at my visible lung.

"Oh, you mean this? Pretty breathtaking isn't it?" (Me)

It's visible that she doesn't know how to react to my pun. The whole situation should be a bit overwhelming for a teenager like her, now that I think about it.

I mean, if I had been a normal guy, she would've killed me.

"B- breathtaking? Heh, o- on the b-b-battlefield of heaven, I- I've seen t- tons of such things!" (Risa)

Not that I can't forgive such small mistakes. I've forgiven worse.

Risa tries to act tough with a wry smile, but she reflexively averts her eyes at the gory sight.

With sentiment, Jess approaches the relatively small girl and puts her hand on her shoulder. A melancholic smile adorns her face, pity fills her eyes.

"Run. You don't want to become one of his friends." (Jess)

*CLAP!*

"Alright, girls! We have a lot to do! There's a shitload of monsters out there, we have the needed attack formation, and I have a gaping hole in my chest. The preparations are nearly done!" (Me)

Once more, Risa holds her hand in front of her red eye. For some reason, it doesn't bother her at all that I'm taking charge here, which gives off a good impression in my book.

"Is it time already? Is it time to unleash Ragnarök?" (Risa)

"Not quite. He probably wants to fight the swarm of monsters outside." (Jess)

"Bingo! Jess is right! We have to escape this room at some point, right?" (Me)

"Mon-" (Risa)

At that point, the black-haired girl freezes in her extremely cool position.

'Shop.'

SHOP

SP: 5833

Available skills:

-Provocation

Cost:

-550 SP

'Aaaaand bought!'

You successfully bought the skill "Provocation" (Lvl 1) (Active)

Provocation (Lvl 1): You're a fucking cunt, and that's why others want to hit you. It's not rocket science. (May inflict other status effects at higher levels)

Considering that I'm the only non-mage here, I should take the responsibility of taking most of the damage. They don't know how to use mana as a defense mechanism, nor how to use it to heal themselves yet, so it's really the only thing I could do for my fellow companions.

'Try it out.'

"Hey Jess." (Me)

I interrupt Jess, who's trying to get Risa out of her stupor. She gives up on it eventually and faces me.

"What?" (Jess)

"Tea tastes best straight from the microwave." (Me)

"That's it." (Jess)

Provocation became level 3!

Range of effectivity increased!

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

'Oh, what a nice surprise.'

'He says, dodging a barrage of spears.'

I fiddle around with my status a bit more while evading Jess's attacks. Provocation is an active skill, which activates automatically upon provoking someone, which is quite neat. As far as I know, later levels should bring some nasty side effects for the opponent, so it's just a good skill all around.

Catching some flying spears in my hands, I send the screens away. Risa seems to still be frozen in place, not having moved a single centimeter. If she were to do the robot like that, she'd kill it.

'How to catch an edgy teenager 101.'

'Yes officer, right here.'

"MY ARM! IT'S STARTING TO AWAKEN AND BECOME STRONGER THAN THE ANGEL'S EYE!" (Me)

This line was enough to make her snap out of it.

"You dare?! Nothing is able to challenge the power of the Eye of Calamity!" (Risa)

"She changed the name again..." (Jess)

I position myself on top of the altar, with my hands behind my back. I might look not serious, but the following instructions might be vital for them.

Not that I still won't make it fun.

"Attention!" (Me)

But the kid with eighth-grader syndrome seems to be suddenly be bothered by it.

"H- hey... that's my spot... I wanted to make a cool declaration there..." (Risa)

"Our siege on the monster room will proceed soon, so I will explain our strategy!" (Me)

Risa looks at Jess, wondering if she could help her, but Jess just shakes her head.

"He doesn't stop once he starts." (Jess)

"She's right! So, I will be the tank for this one. I just bought a skill that lets me pull the aggro from the monsters, so-" (Me)

"Wait. How long did you have that skill?" (Jess)

It takes me a second to actually remember that. My memory is one of my weaknesses, but then I remember the golden insult toward the Arachmot.

"Since the fight against the big spider." (Me)

She wrinkles her eyebrows. This angry expression seems to be the standard for her recently.

"And you didn't buy that skill, even though we hunted multiple times together and I was run over by monsters more often than I can count?" (Jess)

"Yep! Moving on-" (Me)

"Fuck you." (Jess)

Dramatically, I point at our new heroine, Risa, in a pose only a person like her could do.

"-and our main damage output will be the new girl!" (Me)

Just like me, Risa strikes a pose and points back at me.

"Hmpf, so my flaming darkness is gonna finally meet its fate of doom? Finally, I can show you what it is capa-" (Risa)

"One of the traits of her flames are, that they spread extremely easily and are hard to extinguish if you don't know how. So-" (Me)

"Hey... I wanted to say that..." (Risa)

It hurts me a bit to kick the little girl out of the limelight, but sometimes you have to rule with an iron fist.

'Don't make the small girl sad.'

"Hmpf, of course, the Dragon's Claw won't just let you talk. And now stop interrupting me, our lives kinda depend on my strategy here." (Me)

"Hmpf, I guess I can accept that." (Risa)

"Hmpf." (Me)

"Hmpf." (Risa)

"Stop it." (Jess)

"Hmpf, alright." (Me)

"Hmpf, as you wish." (Risa)

"I SAID STOP!" (Jess)

[https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aOQGvy2_700bwp.webp]

"Jess, you're our back-up. You can fly through the air and shit, so the monsters will most likely not be able to attack you. That's why you'll cover my back." (Me)

"What do you mean by 'most likely'?" (Jess)

What's life without surprises?

"My task is, to... well... be the carriage, I guess? And some kind of fucked up pitcher." (Me)

"I beg your pardon?" (Jess)

"Well, my task actually intertwines with Risa's." (Me)

I notice how Risa, even though she's striking pose after pose and absolutely CRUSHES it, is visibly extremely nervous. Like many people right now, she must've avoided most of the fights up to this point. Jess became quickly accustomed luckily, but Risa was most likely didn't have someone to throw her into battle like a pok*mon.

"The black fallen angel of the void will most certainly look most graceful in batt-" (Risa)

"I have to give her a piggyback ride while she keeps her flames activated. The flames will naturally touch some monsters and spread while I throw the enemies in our way. Of course, I'll have "Provocation" activated at all times. Sounds good?" (Me)

Once more, Risa stands there, frozen in a posture.

"I could take you into princess carry, but kicking monsters around while running might be asking a bit too much." (Me)

Her thinking process can be easily made out as she tries to turn this situation in her favor.

"Hmpf, as expected of me. I only know... this person for a few minutes, and he already offers himself to be my servant. My power is truly frightening..." (Risa)

"Oh right, we forgot to introduce ourselves." (Me)

I turn on all of my possible buffs, coming out at a 164% increase if I fight monsters of the same class as me while getting a 197% buff if I fight against monsters of a higher class than me, making all of my stats well over 150.

Jumping in front of Risa, I crouch down and offer her my back.

"I'm Nith, and that over there is Jess Connor." (Me)

"It's a pleasure to meet you, dear. And I'm sorry for this guy." (Jess)

"She isn't always honest with herself." (Me)

"And he's the biggest bellend in the universe." (Jess)

'The dream team!'

Before climbing on my back, Risa goes into another pose, this time making her robe flutter.

'Oooohhh, she's a goth loli.'

Her body development is still a bit on the smaller side, as I expected, but the black skirt and blouse fit quite well with it. The 3 golden buttons on her top give all of that a slight charm.

'WOHOOO! BLACK KNEESOCKS!'

"This fallen angel's name is Risa Draconica de la von Valkyrie Odin." (Risa)

'How the fuck does she even know that many prefixes to names?'

"I was created from the dark and met the dark gods, who made a pact with me. I acquired this cursed power from them, and, since then, wandered the realms in search for my-" (Risa)

"And now the real one." (Jess)

She quickly realizes that her story might not work with Jess. Satan knows I've tried to get her to play along.

"...Risa Bellwood. 19 years old. Nice to meet you." (Risa)

'By Satan, she's legal.'

She climbs on my back. At first, her arms wrap around me tightly, pressing on the hole in my chest.

"How heart-touching of you to hug me so tightly, but please do it somewhere I don't have a huge hole. My organs wouldn't like it if you spontaneously play piano on them." (Me)

"Oh, crap!" (Risa)

In a panic, she relocates her arms around my throat and tightens up since the hold is a bit more uncomfortable. The tight chokehold makes it actually a bit harder to breathe.

I whisper.

"Choke me harder." (Me)

"What was that?" (Risa)

"Nothing. I guess it's go-time then?" (Me)

I clear my throat and do a few vocal practices. I can't risk ruining my big moment.

Every step towards the door, I feel Risa's chokehold tightening.

'You like it, don't you?'

'Wouldn't you?'

'I would snort a line of glass just to hear her sneeze in a tissue.'

'Exactly my point.'

"Hey Risa, you are aware that we only know you for a few minutes now, right?" (Jess)

Just before I reached the door, Jess tries to get some sense out of Risa. I like that she's the voice of reason, but how dare she question my methods.

"You shouldn't just be piggybacking some stranger. Especially him." (Jess)

"Why not? I have candy?" (Me)

"You do?" (Risa)

"How is this working?" (Jess)

Just from the first few minutes of meeting Risa, I already have a feeling that we're going to become good friends.

"Fufu, I have the power to see through the soul of anything and everything. My "Eye of the Abyss" is omnipotent." (Risa)

"She probably was here for a long time now and is desperate for help. I'd take any help I can get as well if I was stuck in here." (Me)

I notice how one arm detaches from my throat and goes to one of Risa's horns. She rubs the about 5-centimeter long thing for a few seconds, before answering.

"F- Fu fu fu! The great Risa just wanted to give those monsters a few last minutes before I end their worthless lives! I am known to be quite merciful, after all!" (Risa)

"That... makes sense." (Jess)

"Of course it does. And now, finally we get to the fighting!" (Me)

Quickly, Risa's arm flings back to my throat and tightens around it. The smooth fabric from her blouse makes it actually pretty comfortable in a weird sense.

My feet sink into the fleshy door as I kick it open with the most vigor I can muster. The sudden burst of light makes Jess and Risa look away on instinct, but I look all of the monsters in the eyes.

Gotta maintain eye contact during a conversation.

The grotesque abnormalities don't react again at first. They just stare at us as a group, like they couldn't understand what we are.

"Attention please!" (Me)

Their attention focuses on me.

"Pineapple on pizza is delicious! Yummy yummy in my tummy!" (Me)

Due to such an abhorrent statement, Provocation became level 6!

Effectivity and range of effectivity increased!

From one moment to another, all hell breaks loose.

"See ya." (Jess)

Jess skates over our heads on her metal plate, immediately having decided that she doesn't want anything to do with the fun little group in front of us

"She doesn't like you for some reason. I think you guys are swell." (Me)

'Weird thing to say after provoking them with the goal to kill 'em.'

Blood rushes towards my head, adrenalin tenses my muscles to their limits. The thought of a nice battle after such a long time gets my heart beating with a thirst for challenge.

With my buffs activated, I follow Jess's idea by jumping over them.

I look at the mountain they're forming under us, trying to reach us once again.

'But you don't really think that pineapple is-'

'Of course fucking not. I'm a psychopath, not an animal.'

I take a quick gander at the girl on my back. Contrary to my expectation, she doesn't seem to enjoy the ride as much as I thought she would, seeing as she's got her eyes closed in fear.

It's difficult to figure out if it's because of the height, or the monsters crawling viciously below us.

'Probably both.'

However, for now, she's got to endure it.

"M'lady, if you'd be so kind to use your flames now?" (Me)

'I tip my fedora to you. One legend to another.'

Risa opens her eyes reluctantly. The sudden height seems to be the lesser evil in this situation, as relief visibly spreads on her face as soon as she sees that we're out of reach.

She catches a slight sliver of courage, enabling her to force a smug smile.

"FU FU FU! NOW IS THE TIME FOR ME TO SHINE! BEWARE MY ULTIMATE MOVE! BLACK DRAGON FLAME!" (Risa)

The same flame that hit me levitates towards the artificial hill of monsters with astonishingly slow velocity.

It takes dozens of seconds before it hits them. While it may be slow, it still radiates threatening energy, drowning out any other sound for anyone who stares directly at it.

In a daze, the monsters stop moving, not knowing what to expect.

Until impact.

*SHRRIIIEEEEEKKK!!!*

The fire starts spreading among them relentlessly, brutally even, setting the whole mountain ablaze with destructive ferocity. The dark flame was once considered to be one of the most dangerous weapons in the divine realm, especially in the later stages, evident from this picture.

'Man, I remember when I was hit by that once at full power. That shit fucking stings.'

The group of monsters notices their own mistake of pummeling together and disperse. This concludes the first phase of my plan.

"Now we have to fight them head-on! M'lady, would you please create a few sources of fire on the ground?" (Me)

"W-wait a second, I'm getting too many notifications!" (Risa)

"You can just turn them off until the fight ends. Just give the system a quick thought." (Me)

Her stressed expression disappears quickly, exchanged by a sigh of relief. How she still doesn't know that after weeks of the apocalypse is just one of the mysterious aspects about her.

"Now, if you would? I can't jump from wall to wall forever." (Me)

"Ah! Right!" (Risa)

She sends multiple flames towards the floor, which the monsters dodge skillfully.

'They literally just step to the side. How's she supposed to hit anything with flames this slow?'

I land on the ground and inspect my environment. The amount of monstrosities has plummeted incredibly. Some already got nearly completely eaten by Risa's flames, while others are still writhing in pain in some corners. It might seem cruel of Risa to inflict such agony on them, but they're literally trying their best to kill us.

Suddenly, a spear impales a monster right behind me.

"Watch your back, moron." (Jess)

She warns me, flying by for a second. As I look at the air more closely, there are more spears than usual flying around, with even more speed.

'Awww, she's growing.'

Risa looks after Jess, flying away, with a questioning gaze.

"Does she like you or not?" (Risa)

"She just can't show her feelings properly." (Me)

A crocodile-like monster with legs like those of an ant runs towards me with extreme speed.

"And now is the point where you'd do good to choke me a bit harder." (Me)

'Is it because you want to be choked or because you want to dodge?'

'Yes.'

Just before the crocodile gets a taste of me, I hold its mouth open. The muscular jaw puts my strength to a test, but that would've only worked if I didn't have "Pain resistance" at max level.

"Wanna learn how to fly?" (Me)

I catapult it towards one of the flames near me. The black blight eats away at it, disintegrating its flesh.

"See that kids? That's what you'd call a warm-blooded crocodile! HA!" (Me)

'HA!'

The next swarm of monsters approaches Risa and me rapidly and I continue to fling them around the room into fires. It's practically become a weird game of golf.

Jumping around the place, I reposition myself and catch monsters who are running off alone. My pure fighting strength is more on the side of 1 vs 1 since I don't have any AOE attacks.

In this red, fleshy hall, nearly all of these atrocities seem to be a mix between amphibious animals and insects. That makes it a sight to behold, considering you don't see such things crawl around one room every day.

My gaze runs to Jess worriedly, who continues to stab and impale every single thing she sees. She does nearly as much of a good job as the spreading wildfire Risa created.

This whole fight is just one huge massacre of quick, mass genocide. The pure amount of area damage my two companions produce makes this fight a walk in the park.

Even though the number of monsters easily exceeded tens of dozens.

*SHRIIIIEEEEEKKK!!*

"31 ugly monsters on the ground, 31 ugly monsters! Throw one around! Burn it to the ground! 30 ugly monsters on the ground!" (Me)

On the other side of the hall, the rest of the group of monsters is facing us. Their numbers have dwindled astonishingly and, coupled with the fact that there are at least 100 meters between us, they're even less threatening than they already are.

"I KNEW IT! THESE MONSTERS ARE BARELY SMALL FRY! HOW COULD THEY EVER STOP ME?!" (Risa)

"...damn it, Risa." (Jess)

"Damn it, Risa." (Me)

Few death flags are more effective than "You can't stop me". Challenging fate like that isn't something you should ever do.

I've tried. It's rarely worth it.

Sometimes it's worth it, fun even, but such occurrences are rare. Fate's a huge bitch.

Annoying ass voice too.

Risa looks frantically between me and Jess. It doesn't seem like she has the slightest clue about what she just said or what it could mean. Innocence like that is precious, but it can also be a wee bit difficult to deal with.

"Huh? W-what did I do wrong?" (Risa)

Suddenly, the remaining monsters start to build a tower again.

"About that? HEH! Their struggle won't amount to anything!" (Risa)

"You really need to stop that..." (Jess)

I sigh as Risa sends a flame at the newly built pillar.

But, long before the flame even hits them, the monsters start disintegrating and slowly melt. This goo of monsters flows into each other and starts to form something.

Flesh and bones fuse grotesquely, creating sounds no one would ever like to hear. Their whole structure changes with each second the fire doesn't manage to reach them.

"Well, maybe I'll get some better gear from him..." (Me)

A giant, the height of this banquet hall, towers above us. The bulging muscles put mine to shame, as he flexes in front of us.

"Nice bod, bro! You do Crossfit?" (Me)

"THAT SHOULDN'T BE YOUR CONCERN RIGHT NOW!" (Jess)

The levitating flame gets slapped away by the monstrous giant with ease.

A smirk spreads on its face.

"I promise I won't do it again!" (Risa)