"Leap" assists me as I jump from the concrete floor below me. It barely takes any effort for me to ascend several meters, trying to tickle every single point of damage out of these trusty fists o' mine.
My muscles tense up as I fall down on a new kind of monster I just encountered. "Orc's strength" does its job perfectly well, giving me another buff in addition to the boost gravity is giving me so graciously.
"Don't bite your tongue!" (Me)
My target is a 4 meter long, quadrupedal, pink body, whose limbs move grotesquely around their own axis.
'It looks like a huge dick with limbs.'
'Just wanted to phrase it a bit nicer.'
My right fist collides with it and shatters the concrete floor around us in a 2-meter radius, causing the innards to spill out and sully me. I shake the green blood off my hands in slight discomfort, knowing that this is not the worst fluid I've ever been covered in.
"I hate the goo after beating my meat!" (Me)
"I'm so done with your jokes." (Jess)
Jess complains from behind me, ready to strike me herself, but she knows perfectly well that I'm ready to go at any time. She doesn't dare to risk it.
After a bit of squirming around in its innards, the monster stops moving.
You have killed a Sinep (Lvl 13)!
+1383 EXP!
+15 SP!
You became Level 24!
Every stat +1!
Orc's strength became Lvl 8!
Buff increased to 50%!
'LOLOLOLOL THAT NAME! TURN IT AROUND!'
'Oh?'
I pick up the nearly flattened corpse and turn to Jess, who's looking at it disgusted.
"What?" (Jess)
"Touch it." (Me)
"No." (Jess)
Her outright refusal seems a bit harsh.
"Come on! Just once! Touch it just once!" (Me)
"You daft cunt, I'm not going to touch that!" (Jess)
"Just a light tap. Touch my Sinep." (Me)
I swing it around a bit. She follows the swaying as if hypnotized. Can't blame her. I take pride in my Sinep.
"Come on~. Come on~. You know you want to touch it." (Me)
She flicks her hand once and a spear of metal flies towards the corpse in a high arc. It drops down and impales the already dead monster, nailing it to the ground.
'She... she just impaled your Senip. She just nailed your Senip! The audacity!'
She crosses her arms and looks at me smugly. I really don't know where the smugness is coming from, since it was already dead, but I won't just take away her confidence. Would be quite rude of me.
"I told you I won't touch it." (Jess)
Slight terror spreads in my heart at the impaled Senip. No man would like to see this sight.
Nonetheless, I look at the piece of metal anyway since it's kinda hilarious.
"So you like piercings, eh? I mean, I don't judge or anything..." (Me)
"Wha- I really don't!" (Jess)
"Well, do you want to touch it now, now that it's pierced?" (Me)
Another spear of green metal begins to float from her quiver. The green metal was found in a monster we hunted before, which had some bones that consisted of pure metal. I really didn't think that it would be used like this when I butchered it. What goes around, truly comes around.
'It's bad that I find this kinda hot, right?'
'I'm just gonna ignore this comment for both of our sakes.'
'Gotcha.'
She directs the pointy tip of the spear at my Senip, threateningly.
"Damn, you aren't satisfied with one piercing but actually want multiple? Jess, you kinky bitch!" (Me)
"Am I talking to a wall?!" (Jess)
We stand there for a few seconds awkwardly, with the Senip in between us. I've had a lot of standoffs in my career, and, while this is definitely not the most awkward one I've been in, it's definitely up there.
"...You sure you don't wanna touch it?" (Me)
"Quite." (Jess)
"I even asked nicely." (Me)
The corpse doesn't serve any purpose for me anymore, so I discard it. There are probably some more jokes I could make out of it but I don't want to beat a dead horse.
'Or a dead Sinep, for that matter.'
'Really not one of your best jokes.'
'See? I told you it wouldn't work.'
With the daily grind done for today, I start to head back to our temporary headquarters, which shouldn't be more than a few hundred meters away. There's always a possibility that someone might attack it or some inner turmoil could happen, and what king would I be if I just left them to their own expenses?
Noticing that I'm already heading back, Jess retrieves the thrown spears and runs after me in a hurry.
"We've been pretty efficient in these last few days of hunting, haven't we?" (Me)
"Yeah. I became level 18, which is a pretty big jump from being level 11." (Jess)
The difference in our levels after escaping the school is probably also the reason why I barely got any levels these past few days.
"Tch, because there were only small mobs, I merely got 3 levels. What a cruel fate fell upon me *Sob*..." (Me)
Well, I mostly did the grinding to get a bit more used to this body. It might come as a surprise but I don't find myself every day inside a new body.
Again, it's happened before, but it's still not that common.
"And thanks for letting me mooch off the last hits." (Jess)
"Could've touched my Senip if you're so thankful." (Me)
"Would you mind stop talking about that Senip, please? I don't really want to remember it." (Jess)
"I actually planned on making it the new mascot for our base. Sinep everywhere." (Me)
I check my other skills.
ACTIVE SKILLS
Lvl
Berserker
Orcs Strength
Regeneration
Enchanting
(Lvl 4)
(Lvl 8)
(Lvl 4)
(Lvl 2)
PASSIVE SKILLS
Lvl
-Pain resistance
-Unarmed mastery
-Leap
-Leather processing
MAX
(Lvl 4)
(Lvl 7)
(Lvl 4)
"If you do that, you won't see me ever again." (Jess)
"Well, I'll still have the maids then..." (Me)
"Fuck you." (Jess)
"That's the point. I'm tired of doing it myself." (Me)
With every step through these shattered streets, I realize how much the apocalypse has affected this world.
The sky has remained red for some reason and doesn't seem to be changing. Some places are just endless abysses, while some places haven't changed at all. Even if I saw the merging of worlds several times already, there are always unpredictable variables. So, in a sense, it's always a different experience.
"Well, can we go and save my parents now?" (Jess)
I take a few more steps, thinking about it.
"Have you been a good girl?" (Me)
"... I... I don't know how to answer that." (Jess)
My words didn't have much meaning, so I didn't really need an answer. Her conflicted expression is more than enough for me.
"Yeah, sure. I'm pretty much done preparing so we should be all set." (Me)
"I don't want to rush you in any way but I kind of don't want my father and mother to die a horrible death by digestion." (Jess)
'Fair enough.'
'I concur. Fair enough indeed.'
"The only problem is that I feel quite lethargic after using up all my mana..." (Me)
Following the teachings of my acting classes, I put the back of my hand on my forehead dramatically. I'd be quite surprised if she doesn't fall for this classical trick.
'You called?'
'HA!'
"Care to carry me?" (Me)
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
She looks at me, wondering if I'm serious or not. I, of course, am not serious in any kind of way. Wouldn't really fit my character. Despite its effectiveness, "Orc's strength" doesn't take up a lot of mana, nor do any of my other skills. First-world problems.
"...If it means that my parents get saved earlier..." (Jess)
'Wait, wut? For real?'
'Oh, this is gonna be hilarious.'
She gets out one of the spears from her quiver and it levitates towards me, carefully. Her parents must've taught her well not to make sharp spears fly with high velocity.
"Huh?" (Me)
Despite looking forward to being taken in a princess-carry, the metal rod slides through the gap of my armor and picks me up like a pig about to be roasted.
Now I'm just flying here, skewered like a boar.
"You shouldn't play with a maiden's heart like that..." (Me)
"I don't want to hear that from someone who blackmailed me into calling him "Big Brother"." (Jess)
"Don't you shift the blame on me. I just wanted you to say "Pwetty pwease"!" (Me)
The spear starts shaking frantically, probably with the intention of giving me whiplash. This doesn't happen, but I appreciate the effort. I'm quite resilient when it comes to these things.
But even with all the shaking, the Orcs armor doesn't even bend a bit. The sturdiness has helped me a whole bit in these last days and will surely still come in handy.
'You wanna know how we tested the sturdiness? Well... FLASHBACK TIME!'
*
----------------------------------------
*
"You can't be serious." (Jess)
Jess and I stand in front of the shopping mall. It's a cool summer day. The grey rod in her hand is being eyed suspiciously by the one controlling it.
"I couldn't be more serious." (Me)
The make-do spear gets surrounded by her special kind of magic and starts floating mid-air. The tip is pointed at me with every intention of flying through me.
"You want me to use my whole power to shoot this at your body?" (Jess)
"Exactly. Don't hold back at all. I want to know how much this armor can endure." (Me)
Through the sheer magical power, the spike starts to tremble. I like her enthusiasm but she doesn't have to take the whole "full-power" thing that seriously.
"Are you sure? I won't take any responsibility if you get hurt." (Jess)
"Do it, pussy." (Me)
Provoking her a little bit shouldn't hurt.
"Don't move. I still can't control it too well and I don't want to hit your heart or something else vital." (Jess)
So I stand there, with the overgrown needle looking at me threateningly. After all my bullying, she should actually enjoy this whole ordeal.
Suddenly, it shoots towards my abdomen at 150 km/h. At impact, the armor seems to resist at first, but then it pierces straight through me. It's not that the armor isn't strong, it's just that Jess's attack power is more than I predicted. I must've gotten rusty after all those years in hell.
The cold rod churns my insides, hot blood gushing out of the hole in my stomach. My muscle-memory... soul-memory (?) immediately sends mana towards the wound, searing it shut.
My knees hit the ground in shock.
"You... you just fucking stabbed me!" (Me)
"WH- YOU SAID I SHOULD DO THAT!" (Jess)
As if to answer to her, a last rush of blood splurts out. My hands are covered in red, the ground in front of me tinted in the same color.
"I could fucking die from this! Are you mad?!" (Me)
"WH- WHAT SHOULD I DO?! APPLY PRESSURE! I'LL GET A SEWING KIT!" (Jess)
She visibly panics. Her eyes are fixed on my wound while she's sprinting around without a plan. I'd actually be impressed if she were to find a sewing kit here somewhere.
In the end, she decides to put her hands on the wound herself.
"Pfff, lol. Get pranked." (Me)
Without a shred of hesitation, I rip the pin out and activate "Regeneration". Jess looks at me, still not getting the situation.
"I literally had my whole ribcage opened when the Orc-chief hit me, and you think that such a little stab would kill me? Get a grip, woman." (Me)
"But- but-" (Jess)
"You better get used to this. There's a whole lot more where that came from!" (Me)
Regeneration became Lvl 2!
Time needed until whole body is healed is reduced to 24 hours and 45 minutes! Cooldown is reduced to 1 hour and 59 minutes!
"See? My regeneration skill even leveled up!" (Me)
But she already has her back turned to me.
"Come on. I only did a joke about you stabbing me. There'll be worse things in the future." (Me)
"I don't think there can be much worse..." (Jess)
Several memories spring up in my mind containing the shenanigans of my youth. Good times, back then.
"You know nothing, my little sunshine. You know, there's this monster-class called "Titans" who are about the size of a sun and can only be killed with one-hits. Fighting those will be fun." (Me)
Her head snaps back.
"There'll be WHAT?!" (Jess)
*
----------------------------------------
*
As I recall good memories of the past, we arrive at our temporary base.
Jess tilts the pole a bit and I slide to the ground face first. The outsides of the mall have been reinforced a bit with a few barricades under my rule, looking more fit to be a base now. Even if it's just temporary.
I stand up, brush a bit of dust off of me and go inside. The chime of the sliding doors welcomes me in as always, but a few improvements have also been made.
"Welcome home, master." (The maids)
'This was the best idea ever.'
"I understand the appeal of maids, but this is ridiculous." (Jess)
'She's picking a fight with me.'
'But imagine her as a maid.'
'...Oh damn...'
"Thy king hast arriv'd!" (Me)
The 4 maids bow down to me. From the back, a woman with short black hair and black eyes steps into the front row. Her demeanor automatically distinguishes her from the other girls, marking her as the head-maid.
If you couldn't tell, I really dig this whole "maid squad" thing.
"Do you have any wishes, master?" (Headmaid)
Although stoic, she still seems gentle enough for her voice to soothe my tired soul.
"Quite so! Thou shalt bringeth me the prison'r and mine own did prepare stuffeth!" (Me)
"Certainly. May I ask when you will be heading out?" (Headmaid)
At the question, Jess's ears perk up out of her own curiosity. You might think that her parents are dear to her.
"That's right, Nith. When are we going?" (Jess)
"I shalt leaveth once m're by sunset!" (Me)
"When the sun goes down?! Isn't that a bit early?" (Jess)
It might seem a bit rash to set out so soon, but I've had more than enough time to prepare. And you can't ignore the fact that the deadline could fluctuate for several reasons.
'Right, "deadline". Cause that's when her parents die.'
"Nah, I already planned everything. We should manage." (Me)
I take the next chair and sit down on it. Jess takes the seat next to me and we wait for a few minutes for the maids to bring me the stuff I asked for.
One after the other, each maid comes with the requested goods.
A barrel with the fat of some monsters inside it.
2 coats with acid protection enchanted on them. I actually had to kill a derivative version of the Arachmot for this, so it was a huge pain in the ass to get this. Try to find several meter tall spiders-
'Why did it take so long again?'
'Now that I think about it, it's really bizarre. You'd think that you can find these things easily...'
As I ramble on with Trick, the presents keep coming in, finishing with a few torches and flareguns, marshmallows, and finally the Jockey from a few days ago.
The head maid drags him behind her, crudely. Her disgust for that person is clear as day.
She throws him in front of my feet and excuses herself.
"Why do you need that wanker?" (Jess)
The jockey in front of my feet can't manage to stand up, since his limbs are tied up. Instead, he just looks at me with hate in his eyes.
"Let me go and I will kill you, you fucking wimp." (Jockey)
'Charming.'
He says while being tied together like the masochist in a bondage flick.
"You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married, and you ask me to set you free and murder me? What have I done to deserve such disrespect?" (Me)
"Wait, are you really going to imitate the godfather?" (Jess)
"Yeah, you like it?" (Me)
"To be perfectly honest... kinda?" (Jess)
The jockey gets even more agitated at my question and Jess's apathy for him. I really can't put my finger on the reason he might dislike me.
"Why I'm disrespectful? You came here and took my property, these fucking pawns, and then didn't even give that girl up to me! Of course, I'm disrespectful!" (Jockey)
'I think that answers your previous question?'
'Still can't wrap my head around it.'
"Listen, I can see that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed so I'll make this quick and easy. I'll give you a chance to escape from here. I actually kinda need you in my plan today, so you will come with us and help." (Me)
'Wait, what? Really?'
'Nope.'
"Wait, what?! Really?!" (Jockey)
"Yep." (Me)
He starts smiling slyly. He doesn't even try to hide his evil intentions.
He even starts to whisper to himself.
"Perfect. I will ambush him at some point, and kill him. Then I'll take his girl and have fun with her." (Jockey)
'Oi, retarded brother, give me the power to await his excruciating death and not kill him myself.'
*
----------------------------------------
*
Heaven.
A male person with long, brown hair oversees an ocean of soldiers loyally under his command, tremoring in front of his sheer power. His pure aura radiates like the sun, illuminating everything that could potentially hold a shadow.
That person, that just exuded such confidence and authority, suddenly feels a cold shiver down his spine.
"Mother Mary, what was that?!" (???)
An impending sense of doom spreads inside of him.
*
----------------------------------------
*
Back to Nith.
A quiet smile spreads on my face.
'Someone just became scared of me. I can feel it.'
'Maybe your retarded brother?'
'Nah, we had a good relationship going.'
It was definitely him.
'You're literally not addressing him as anything else other than a retard. I highly doubt your good relationship.'
The memories he and I made will forever have a special place in my heart. Especially that one time I actually gave him a wedgie over the world tree. He didn't get down from there for several years.
I look outside in nostalgia and notice that the sun is already setting. As much as I love reminiscing on the rare quality family time I have, I promised I'd save another family first.
"Well then, let's hurry! We don't want Jess's dead parents to wait for too long!" (Me)
"Hold on, dead parents?!" (Jess)
I put the barrel on one shoulder, and the jockey on the other. Jess takes care of the rest.
With the jockey bound to the roof, and the barrel of fat safely strapped on in the backseat, we head to Jess' mansion.
As soon as she Jess down, she's started fiddling with her fingers in nervosity. The lives of her parents are on the line, so she must be a wreck on the inside.
While she may act tough on the outside, I've noticed how worried she's been the last few days. It's difficult to stand by, barely doing anything, while your own parents are at risk of dying.
I lost that sentiment a little while ago, but I still get it.
It only takes a few minutes of silent driving before Jess starts talking to ease her tensity.
"I hope nothing happened to them. Why didn't we go a few days earlier?! What if something happened to them?!" (Jess)
'I thought she'd never ask.'
"There's this peculiar trait about Arachmots." (Me)
In the distance, her mansion on the hill is already visible. Trees in the surrounding woods keep falling over, signaling that the Arachmot is moving and hasn't left his hunting grounds.
"They don't start eating their prey until at least two weeks have passed. In these two weeks, however, they keep their prey inside resistant cocoons and fatten them until they're about to burst. So the only dangerous thing that could happen is that your mother got thiccc as fuck and I won't give a damn about you or your father." (Me)
"You just told me straight to my face that you would shank my mother." (Jess)
"I'd happily become your stepdad to get access to your mom's bazonkas."
"You fucking arse." (Jess)
From the roof, the Jockey is heard screaming, probably cause I'm driving like a madman. Jess got used to it already, as with a lot of my quirks.
I continue to distract Jess for a few more minutes and soon, we arrive at the foot of the hill.
The barrel gets made loose and I take the cunt on my shoulder. He squirms around, but I just tighten my grip until his bones creak a bit.
"Who's ready for a fun hike?" (Me)
"I hope my parents aren't dead." (Jess)
"FUCK YOU!" (Jockey)
"Such a happy little family." (Me)
Jess goes on one of her spears and flies up the hill, while I run up with "Orcs strength" already activated. Now that it has an overall stat boost of 50%, I became significantly faster, but with Jess' increased control over her powers, I'm only slightly faster than her.
Her hair is now nearly completely silver in color. It seems like the more control over her ability she gets, the more the color changes. It really makes me wonder what her counterpart looks like sometimes.
I hear rumbling around us and a rhythmic pair of huge footsteps.
"Our 8-legged friend is close by!" (Me)
"And where is its nest?" (Jess)
Her parents are her priority.
"That's exactly what I'm gonna search for now." (Me)
I put the jockey down and unbind him. His struggle immediately escalates to wild flailing, activating his powers without caring that I could still easily put him six feet under.
But maybe it's the last remnants of his brain which were telling him not to attack me immediately.
"Jess, I'm gonna leave him with you. You can do anything you want to him until I'm back. I'm just gonna set this whole forest ablaze real quick. Don't have too much fun without me!" (Me)
"Yeah, see you soon." (Jess)
'She's not even surprised anymore lolololol.'
With a slight trickling, I drench the forest floor with the fat of the monsters. I easily stored 150 liters inside here, so it takes about 10 minutes of careful spreading for the barrel to get empty.
'Man, this is gonna be a fun fight. I'm so glad that I don't have to repeat this mundane life of hell anymore.'
'Didn't they have creative ways of torturing?'
'Try to get creative after a few million years. I won't blame them for running out of ideas.'
The last drop of the barrel hits the soil of the forest.
'But some of them were really not that lit, to be honest.'
'Cause you're starting a forest fire, got it.'
I return to Jess. The jockey is a bit more beaten up, than he was before, while Jess is whistling at the side.
"Oh golly gee, I wonder what happened?" (Me)
"He tripped. Multiple times." (Jess)
"So he found concrete floor in this forest somewhere? Cause those wounds don't come from tripping on soil." (Me)
"Stones. A lot of them." (Jess)
I light the torch.
"Was I convincing?" (Jess)
"Sure. Forests are dangerous." (Me)
I throw the torch at the trail of oil on the ground, and the fire starts to spread rapidly.
In the distance, I hear the Arachmot shrieking loudly. Every bird or birdlike monster in a 5-kilometer radius flees. The rhythmic footsteps from before change drastically and suddenly come closer with grotesque speed.
I look at the huge fire in front of me. The heat feels actually quite comfortable since it's already night and a bit chilly. I get a few flashbacks from my time in hell but those don't really get me anymore.
"Well, let's get the marshmallows out~." (Me)
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" (Jockey)
"Can't fight on an empty stomach!" (Me)
"...I'm just going to trust you on this one..." (Jess)
I activate "Orc's Strength" secretly, in anticipation of the fight. The stick with the marshmallows is breaking under my grip.
The threatening breaking of trees is now only a few meters away, and the shrieking of the Arachmot nearly shatters my unprotected eardrums.
Jess is holding her ears shut so she doesn't really have a problem with it, but the jockey's ears are already bleeding.
"Come into my arms, big boy!" (Me)