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How to have fun in an apocalypse (Rewrite)
Chapter 26: Cue the spy music

Chapter 26: Cue the spy music

With my mana almost completely exhausted and my body practically butchered into pieces, I fade in and out of consciousness several times during this flight home. Which doesn't mean that the drive is unpleasant. I'm an excellent chauffeur.

"Hey Nith! Look! monsters are fighting each other!" (Risa)

Unlike me and Jess, Risa still has enough energy left to be excited about anything. Although she looks a bit pale around the edges, she still wants to warn me about anything in the immediate environment that might seem to be a threat.

"Good job, Risa! Jess, why aren't you doing such a good job?" (Me)

Even though I tried to talk to Jess several times already, she hasn't moved at all from the spot Risa dropped her. Hence, I'm assuming she's dead.

"Help me. I'm dying." (Jess)

If only she wasn't saying that she's still in the process of dying.

"Well, if push comes to shove, a little necrophilia has never hurt anyone." (Me)

'It would actually make a lot of things much easier.'

Without any strength left, she can't even react to me literally talking about molesting her dead body. To be honest, I'm already starting to miss her always appealing to my common decency. I need some back and forth. I need some drama, you know?

I scan the fight below us. None of them have yet noticed that there's a giant space whale flying right above their heads, as the monsters continue to rip each other apart.

"How uncivilized..." (Me)

Strength once again leaves my body and I urge the whale to hurry. I did think about going for round 2 with the monsters below me, but I'd have to crawl around the fight, which isn't really my style.

The flight continues, with a few instances of Jess begging for mercy and Risa pointing out anything noteworthy until she became tired herself.

Only when night already fell, can I finally see the warehouse by the river, which Risa so graciously baptized "Fort Eternum".

The speed at which we're landing couldn't really be described as landing speed. Over the last kilometers, I had to wring the last few drops of mana out of the whale. What we're doing right now isn't really parking, but rather controlled falling.

"As we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position. Make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and all carry-on luggage is stowed underneath the seat in front of you or the overhead bins. Thank you." (Me)

The warehouse comes closer by the second, without us losing any of our speed. The cold wind lashes against my face, since I sit in the frontmost position, just like any good Navigator would do.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-" (Risa)

"Nith, I know that my words don't always come out as they should, but when I said "I'm dying", that wasn't a request." (Jess)

"You should've articulated yourself better then." (Me)

After just a dozen seconds, we collide with the river's ground. The water might have slowed us down for a bit, but the rubble and dust we threw into the air still made our environment a mess. We destroy most of the river's well-constructed shore and bridges, which helps us stop for at least a bit.

Only after skidding destructively for several hundred meters, do we land right in front of our warehouse.

"Like a glove." (Me)

"Regeneration" still isn't fast enough to have healed my legs in the few hours of this trip, even after concentrating most of it on my legs, so I have to drag myself off the airplane that served me so well just a second ago.

Gutting and processing the corpses that just landed on my front porch has to wait for later since I won't be able to make another 5 minutes without falling uncon-

"Um... Nith?" (Jess)

As I contemplate on how to escape the horror of falling asleep without a nightlight, Jess's voice tickles my ears in the most beautiful way.

"Yes, dear?" (Me)

I turn around and see Jess still unmoving on top of the whale. With immense effort, she manages to look at me, clearly not looking forward to what's about to come.

"I know we sometimes have our differences... but could you help get me inside?" (Jess)

"First of all..." (Me)

I point at my two stumps for legs. They're not bleeding anymore and most of the flesh closed up, but not even my knees are fully regenerated.

"How can you ask someone who needs a wheelchair to carry you? Oh, how cruel of you..." (Me)

"I can carry-" (Risa)

"Shush, summer child. Tis be not a job f'r thee." (Me)

Thus, the negotiations have begun. Tension in the air rises, as Jess and I stare each other down.

"What do you want?" (Jess)

"You have to kiss my ouchie boo-boo sometime in the future." (Me)

"I'll bandage you." (Jess)

"That doesn't even slightly compare." (Me)

Silence. A tumbleweed crosses our path. A lone sweat drop brushes my eyebrow.

"I'll bandage you, and blow on it." (Jess)

"Deal." (Me)

'Hehehehehe... blow.'

I climb back up, too exhausted to argue any further. I'm sure I could've struck a better bargain, but if I were to continue, I'm sure I would fall into a coma soon enough.

With Jess on one shoulder, I jump down. Her lifeless, soft body is clad around me, with her hair tickling my nose, nearly making me sneeze.

"*SNIFF*." (Me)

"Stop that." (Jess)

"Make me, coward." (Me)

My mutilated body forces itself to drag me and Jess towards the warehouse, Risa following us on foot. It seems like she's just about to be mana exhausted as well, which explains Jess's reluctance to be carried by her.

"Alright, good night, dear." (Me)

I lay Jess down on one of the beds that I prepared for the girls, after they vehemently insisted that we don't sleep in one large one. Which I thought was unfair.

"Do you need a bedtime story?" (Me)

"Sleep well, Nith." (Jess)

She doesn't honor my question with an answer, but probably only cause she knows that I wouldn't manage to tell a very long one.

"Don't let the bedbugs bite!" (Me)

"Promise me you'll sleep." (Jess)

I turn around again, Jess looking at me with worried eyes. Her raspy voice underlines her exhaustion. It isn't really difficult to notice that I don't sleep all that much, and with Jess being here all the time, it's no wonder she caught wind of it.

"Smother me between your dummy thicc thighs and I'll sleep forever." (Me)

"Dickhead." (Jess)

She's completely lost every ounce of energy she had left and fell unconscious.

My own crawling soon turns to slithering. Although I don't feel pain, my body refuses to respond, even with my lick of mana forcing it.

'Try to sleep, buddy. I'll at least try to keep the voices at bay, as always.'

'Yeah, thanks.'

Thoughts run through my head. How did the church form so quickly and how did Pete get the powers? The cunt above shouldn't be able to influence this world, or else he would've already taken way more action than that. Who and why did that unknown person help me, even though he's apparently part of that wretched group?

With that, my energy has completely run out. On the skin of my teeth do I manage to sag onto the worn-out, green couch that I always use to rest. And soon, my mind is taken over by darkness.

*

----------------------------------------

*

Three days have passed since we arrived.

It only took me a day and a half to completely recover, since "Regeneration" worked on a full-day shift.

If it came to me, we would've already gone and climbed the tower again. There's too much I want to find out about it, since it's the first time that I've ever seen one like that. Given my history, that's actually quite the feat.

But after expending all your mana, it takes exponentially longer to gather all of it again for normal people. Which explains why Jess has been in a coma up until now.

'Watcha doin' there?'

With chalk, the not explosive kind, I'm in the process of drawing a magic circle on the ground, right in the middle of our base. Thanks to my expertise, it doesn't take long for the complicated runes and symbols to form and induce the mana in the environment to move.

'Of course looking for my next power-up, silly!'

'Oh, how could I not think of that! After all, it's not like you cunt never tell me anything about your plans!'

'Don't get sassy on me now!'

I put a sheet of the already butchered whale's skin in the middle of the circle, coupled with one of the mana stones from the children. We had immense luck this time. Every single one of the monsters had a mana core inside them, which didn't shatter when they died.

The last few days, while Jess was still having her beauty sleep, I've already managed to process the corpses with immaculate skill and make myself and the other girls a new armor.

You created the gauntlets "Space Whale's Funtime with extra spice"

Space Whale's Funtime with extra spice

- Rank: Unique

- Attack: 2500

- +45 STR

- +20 AGL

- Options: 1. Has a chance to send another shockwave out when you punch, dealing 50% of the previously done damage

     2. You can hit the enemy from a maximum distance of 20 meters, dealing 30% of your usual damage

Hit 'em with that double whammy

You created the armor set "Space Whale's cozy hugs and kisses"

Space Whale's cozy hugs and kisses

- Rank: Unique

- Defense: 2000

- +40 AGL

- +25 END

- +15 STR

- Options: 1. Has a chance to reflect projectiles

Why are you hitting yourself?

Risa and Jess's suits are just cloth that I made with the Spaticecta's baleen, which helps them recover MP and additionally boost their magic damage. The fact that I didn't use the mana cores for the armors made them worse than they should've been, but at this point in the apocalypse, they should provide more than enough protection.

The only thing I regret is that I couldn't make any armor out of the metal rings, since I don't have a forge nearly strong enough to melt them down.

But there's something that bothers me even more than the shiny suit of armor that I couldn't make.

You have killed a Spaticecta (Lvl 95)!

+250068 EXP

+7900 SP!

You became Level 50!

Every stat +10!

Orc's strength became Lvl 28!

Buff increased to 150%!

Due to skillful use of "Regeneration", the skill gains additional experience!

Regeneration became Lvl 22!

Time needed until the whole body is healed is reduced to 20 hours and 30 minutes! Cooldown is reduced to 1 hour and 35 minutes!

Due to using "Berserker" in life-threatening situations, the skill gains additional experience!

Berserker became Lvl 18!

Buff increased to 2.45% per 1% missing health!

Provocation became Lvl 9!

Provocation infuriates even more!

Effectively using "Ember" made it acquire a new attribute!

Ember is now filled with the "Hell" attribute

Ember became Lvl 12!

...the screens continue with several stats increasing and skills gaining levels. But that's not the point. The thing bugging me is the last message I got.

You are now qualified to receive a second class!

Sike! The world hasn't progressed enough! Level Up has been sealed! (Accumulated experience from now on will be saved)

The system is a bit fickle in its ways. It's been around since the very first being manifested, who was the cunt above, but no one knows where it came from or why it works the way it does.

From what eons of research have concluded, it tries to keep everything in a state of equilibrium, no matter if it's a human, an animal, or even an object like a planet. As long as you can hold mana, you are recognized by the system. It becomes different with every new realm you step into or were born in, changing how it works with you and how much attention or assistance it offers you. Until it finally disappears when you've reached the pinnacle.

It's already been speculated that the system is a living being, but there has never been anyone who found any clue of it. There's only a single person who seems to have understood how to utilize it, and that's the only person who shouldn't have understood it.

This brings us to the current aspect of world progression. The aspired state of equilibrium by the system also includes the very world you're living in and your soul has current residency in. Basically, no one can surpass the Earth in class right now, since it would go against the system's will.

'Which is a bit of a dickmove.'

Suck a cooooooock.

'Oh, very mature.'

'I like the system.'

'Well, I can't progress because it can't make a single exception, so I'm vewy vewy angwy!'

Before I start to work with the first of the three mana stones, I look around the room once more. It's still early in the morning, so Risa is still asleep as well, just like Jess. Yes, I have to resist the urge to climb into the same bed as her. Keep in mind, she's still 19 and I'm still 18. This is not a crime.

'TheMillennia-oldDeitySaysWhat?'

'What?'

As if she heard me agonizing about throwing a spontaneous slumber party, Risa's body slowly starts shuffling around under the thick blanket. Soon, she sits up, rubbing some of the eye gunk off.

"Good morning, sunshine! I did not plan to commit a crime just now!" (Me)

'Smooth.'

It takes a few seconds before the grog on her face fades away and she realizes what's happening around her. She looks at the circle below me and back at me again. Only after a few seconds of that, does she finally regain enough consciousness to hold a conversation.

"Fufufu... so you finally decided to start your counterattack? I hadn't imagined that you would awaken the greater Devils, just to have a chance against me..." (Risa)

With my freshly regenerated arms forming a cross in front of my face, I counter Risa's accusations with another accusation.

"Don't even try to cover the fact that you called reinforcements from the void... your cowardice has long been noticed, Risa von Lichtenstein IV!" (Me)

"Coward?! You dare insult me?! Prepare to meet your doom!" (Risa)

'You know, it's always a bit weird to just be a spectator in these situations. But then I remember that I'm dealing with a fuckhead and everything makes perfect sense.'

'You are not a real person, I don't have to take any shit from you.'

'I WAS!'

After circling each other for a solid minute, we both stop, satisfied with our morning ritual.

I decide to start my plan for an item that I've wanted for a long time now. Usually, I would only need to use the mana core and the piece of cloth to make a full item, but it's not enough this time. Magic circles can help in various situations, but mostly they enhance anything magic-related since they suck in additional mana from the environment, if not used for any other purpose.

This perfectly makes up for my condition. Not being able to use mana sucks penis, but you gotta make the best of it.

"I just hope I don't lose an arm and a leg..." (Me)

'Well, I already lost my whole body, so your chances aren't bright, sonny.'

I quickly stab holes around the circle-shaped piece of leather I plan to enchant and put one of the whale's sinews through it. Soon after, I grab a hold of the mana core and channel part of the magic power stored inside through the magic circle below me, and the other part to the pouch I made. The mana in the environment resonates inside the intricate runes that I drew with penmanship that would surprise even the most well-versed calligraphers. I bestow my will on the pouch, forcing the channel of mana inside it to change its attributes.

The leather shines in an ethereal glow, blinding me and Risa in return. It takes a few seconds before the light dissipates, revealing a nice quality of life item.

You created the artifact "Storage Pouch"

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

Storage Pouch

Rank: Excellent

Magical Artifact

You can use this as a storage space. The approximate amount you can store is 2qm. Size can be enhanced. Weight is according to the weight stored inside.

I get a few messages that some of my crafting skills received level-ups, but I dismiss them just as quickly. They are a nice bonus, but they don't influence the experience I made over the years on a larger scale.

"What's that?" (Risa)

"Wanna get in and find out?" (Me)

I open the sack, revealing a seemingly endless void inside it. Risa looks into the abyss, contemplating whether that would be the right thing to do. My pulse rises with the thought of carrying Risa around everywhere I go. She would be a way better version of a Tamagotchi, just with flames that literally disintegrate your body.

"Alri-" (Risa)

"Don't." (Jess)

"Oh, fuck you." (Me)

Suddenly, Jess makes her way towards us, still clutching her head. The blinding light filling the whole hall must've woken her up, resulting in her raining on my parade. Although her hair is disheveled, she doesn't look like she's been sleeping for 3 whole days. In fact, because your mana pool increases after depleting it completely, she's brimming with life force.

"*Snort* " (Risa)

Upon seeing Jess, Risa has to stifle a laugh, just like I do. I'm just doing a better job at it.

"Ugh, my head. What was that light just now?" (Jess)

"I'm not talking with you unless you let me kidnap the chuuni loli." (Me)

"Jess!" (Risa)

Ignoring me and the cozy little pouch I prepared just for her, Risa runs up to Jess, who's still not entirely awake. Just a few seconds after she woke up, she's already interrupted one of my intricate plans, which should not be done to me. I've been dreaming about a little Risa pouch since the day I met her. And I already told Jess what would happen if she challenged me again in any sort of way.

"Hey, Risa!" (Me)

"Hm?" (Risa)

She turns her little head to me, wondering why I interrupted the nice conversation she and Jess were having after several days.

"Wanna see a magic trick?" (Me)

'Oh boy, do I.'

"Yeah!" (Risa)

"What are you up to?" (Jess)

Slowly, I shuffle towards Jess, whose expression starts to show more fear with every step I take towards her. Readying my newly created artifact, I point it towards the person in question, who slowly realizes what I'm trying to do.

"NITH! NO!" (Jess)

"NITH! YES!" (Me)

Jess's voice has recovered from the raspy version a few days ago, which makes any doubts in my mind dissipate.

I pull the piece of leather over Jess, who disappears inside it immediately, without a trace left in this world. She's been transported inside the interdimensional storage, that I so beautifully created.

"PRESTO! JESS DISAPPEARED!" (Me)

"WOAH! WHAT DARK MAGIC IS THIS?!" (Risa)

At the moment, Jess should be floating in an endless void, lacking any sign of life anywhere. It isn't as bad as it sounds, since it should just be silent around her right now, but this would change if I decided to shake the pouch around a bit.

"Jess?" (Me)

"LET ME OUT!" (Jess)

"Not with that tone of voice, young lady!" (Me)

Her fair voice reverberates out of the sack, which makes me wonder how her voice still sounds nice with an endless echo.

Receiving thunderous applause from the audience, I bow gracefully. Metallic mana struggles inside the pouch, but I can't allow such disobedience. This is a reasonable disciplinary measure.

'I'm pretty sure this is just a case of domestic violence at this point.'

'Call the police then- Oh, wait!'

'Fair enough.'

I let Jess struggle inside the pouch for another few minutes. I might admit that this is a strange version of a timeout, but I can't be so lenient with her all the time. She's very dear to me, so I have to be strict sometimes.

"Have you learned your lesson?" (Me)

Out of breath, Jess sits on the ground. Shooting several glares at me, I notice that she still hasn't given up yet. Her perseverance is impressive, but she should learn that there's no chance for her to win.

"Stop glaring, or you'll get round 2!" (Me)

"I hate you." (Jess)

Jess's response gets a slight smile out of me, which she returns with the same.

I watch Jess and Risa continue the conversation, with Risa wondering how it was inside the sack and Jess trying not to let her go too far over the edge of sanity. The sight of two companions bantering on about idle things brings out a sense of nostalgia deep inside me.

I remember the thousands of times I have seen scenes similar to this, no matter in what situation I've been. Whether it was around a campfire on a forest night, or in a cave seeking shelter from the rain. The memories keep flooding in, with all of them having the same outcome.

Mind corruption lessens! 3% corrupted!

Mind corruption continues! 4% corrupted!

My thoughts go back and forth between wholesome moments and inevitable, cruel endings. Until someone manages to break me out of this cycle.

'WAKE UP!'

'Whoopsie, spaced out there.'

"Alrighty, girls! I'm glad that we're all refreshed and perky. And there's only one thing that could make this moment better." (Me)

Both of them look at me, with Jess already knowing that I'm up to no good. I admit that I sometimes have unconventional ideas, but I'm still hurt that she would immediately consider my plans bad.

"I made you some nice, cozy new clothes, in which we can continue ascending the tower. Ain't I nice?" (Me)

"What? Already?" (Jess)

I search around the hall, putting anything inside my pouch that seems somewhat useful. "Useful", in this case, may or may not mean that I can use them for any kind of jokes. Quickly glancing at Risa, I notice that she's way more willing to go to the tower again than Jess.

"Yes, already. I don't want to hear any nagging from you, or you're getting the pouch." (Me)

"Dammit." (Jess)

Reluctantly, she makes her way towards the dressing room, which they insisted I build them inside the base. I fought against the idea with all my power, but to no avail. Tears of blood crossed my face when I was forced to construct such a monstrosity against my will.

Both of them enter the changing room with the new set of outfits I made them.

"By the way, date?" (Jess)

"Right now?

"What? Yes, right now." (Jess)

"Well, it's the apocalypse, but I sure as hell won't complain. I just thought that-" (Me)

"What is the current date?" (Jess)

"...way to break my heart." (Me)

I can hear the sound of clothes shuffling around from inside, while my expectations shatter from the outside.

"It's the 29th of October." (Me)

"I slept for 3 full days?" (Jess)

"Yeah, and I drew several penises on your face." (Me)

I'm telling the truth.

"Ha ha, very funny." (Jess)

'He's telling the truth.'

"Yeah, just a joke." (Me)

A single, small snort is heard from inside the dressing room, which I can make out to belong to Risa.

"What's so funny?" (Jess)

"Nothing..." (Risa)

It seems like Jess thinks that, even for me, it's too immature to draw the male genital with explicit detail on her face, as she doesn't believe that I'm telling the truth.

'But I am.'

It only takes a minute for them to get changed and they soon exit the promised land. With some dye, I made each of their clothes according to their color theme. Silver for Jess, and black for Risa.

"Let's go then!" (Me)

At this point, I would've opened the door flamboyantly, but I didn't come around to re-install it yet after I've ripped it out of its hinges the last time. Admittedly, that took part of the drama out of our spontaneous field trip, but I have nothing to be sorry for.

"You should really put that door back. It's drafty." (Jess)

"I won't, because there's always the ever so slight chance that such draft will flip up the skirts that I just made you, revealing my equivalent of El Dorado." (Me)

With a flick of her wrist, Jess makes a flat piece of metal fly from the stash of metal from the still rotting whale corpses in front of our house and closes it up.

"If you don't stop being such a bitch soon, I swear you'll get something worse than the pouch." (Me)

She turns her face towards me and suddenly several dicks reflect themselves in my eyes.

"You know what? Nevermind. We're even." (Me)

"Even about what?" (Jess)

I know that I won't be able to hold back my laughter if I were to answer now, so I ignore her.

After 3 days of rest, my muscles were screaming to be used. Collectively, we make our way toward the tower, which is less than a few kilometers away. Due to its sheer size, it still towers impressively above anything in the vicinity.

My "Leap" skill has leveled up several times during the fight with the Spaticecta, making me even faster, but Jess and Risa still manage to easily keep up by flying. Magic is way more efficient in that aspect.

We run along the streets of London like that for several minutes, with noticeably fewer monsters than in the last few months. It's actually surprising how much safer this city became recently.

"What a beautiful day to take a ru-" (Me)

"GET IT! ATTACK NOW!" (???)

"..." (Me)

I continue to run, trying my best to ignore the clearly battle-related orders that I just heard. The distinct sound of a monster's death echoes near us, which makes my other two companions halt in their tracks.

"I said it's a beautiful day to take a run." (Me)

"Shouldn't we look at the other survivors?" (Jess)

"But I don't wanna!" (Me)

"Why?" (Jess)

"I'm shy." (Me)

Jess doesn't deem my embarrassing confession worthy of an answer and starts to walk towards the sounds of battle. My body wants to fight with every single fiber against the idea of getting to know strangers, but at that moment I remember that her face served as a canvas for me just a few hours ago.

"Wait." (Me)

I can't wait to hear some third opinions about my masterpiece.

"What?" (Jess)

Looking once more at Risa, who's not as excited as me to meet new people, a plan as intricate as the DaVinci Code forms inside my head.

"I will listen to you. But only if we do it my way." (Me)

*

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*

The clashes of another battle make my ears ring and my heart pump. I can't count how many battles I've been in in the last rough 7 months, and I don't want to either. I've lost too much to hang in the past.

I have to concentrate on the present.

"Group B! Take its legs!"

My voice comes out raspy, already weak from shouting in this prolonged battle. But if I don't do it, who will? I know for sure that no one in this group wants to take the life of every single one of our comrades on their shoulders.

Quickly, my orders are followed, our teamwork firmed with every battle my squad of 30 people participated in. We've got to do what we do to survive, even if this world seems hopeless already. Some of us might give up, but I have to survive... for her...

"Cain! We've got this side covered! Do your thing!"

"Leave it to me!"

Abe, the friend with who I've survived most of this hellish time, reassures me telepathically. If it weren't for him, I might've stopped searching for Ana. Only he was able to give me this endless hope and, together, we persevere.

The abomination with 9 arms and 6 legs lets out an anguished shriek, being held down by Abe and his squad. My friend's chains freeze with his magic, radiating enough cold to make even me shiver all over my body.

"You shouldn't have gotten in our way."

Along the sentence, my voice becomes deeper and darker. My muscles react to my sword being pulled put, tightening immediately. I feel disgusted that my body has already developed muscle memory for such situations.

Without giving my one-handed sword a single second to shine, a sinister aura envelopes it. The mark on my arm begins to burn, as it has done many times before. But the excruciating pain doesn't phase me anymore. Maybe I even deserve it for every single one of our fallen comrades... who knows?

"DEVOUR!"

The black fog elongates from its medium to the struggling monster, piercing its heart with sheer force. My mana is sucked out, blood spurting everywhere. After another few painful twitches, the monster is slain.

You have killed a "Polysaurus" (Lvl 34)

+3063 EXP

+140 SP

You became Level 24

STR +1

MAG +1

The crowd cheers at our hard-earned victory. Everyone has given their best and they were just as crucial as any of us. Nevertheless, I have to commend Abe's binding skill. Without it, the number of casualties would have been excruciating.

But thanks to him, we managed to get away with a few wounded people.

"Good job there, buddy."

As always after a fight, he brims with energy. Even if it's tough for all of us, it's always reassuring to see at least someone at the height of his game.

"You too, friend."

He holds up his hand, anticipating the weird ritual that he's been trying to establish ever since we've slain our first monster together.

*Slap*

What can I say? I can't just deny his request after he did a good job.

With one quick look around me, I scan the people around me that I've spent this apocalypse with. Some are better acquainted than others. Now that the fight is over, the tension starts to dissipate and my friends sit down, exhausted from the hard battle. I, too, prepare to sheath the sword that has been at my side since I got my powers...

But at that moment I hear an unknown voice in peril.

"Oh nyooooo, pwease hewp me! There is a scawy monster attacking me!" (???)

Abe and I quickly react to the weird sounding voice of a girl, searching the horizon for anyone who seems to be in danger. He finds the source of the voice first, tapping my shoulder in a hurry and pointing to the person in question.

Sweat has already moistened her scarlet hair. Her emerald eyes quiver in front of the monster approaching her, as she crawls away while facing it.

My best friend looks me in the eyes and we both nod in agreement, honoring our promise to never let anyone die if we can help it. We sprint towards the girl in distress.

"Oh fellow white knights, please rescue me from this abomination! Sadly, I lack the strength and sheer resolve you radiate. I couldn't imagine beating the beast!" (???)

First, Abe restricts the feline creature with his chains. His mana pool has expanded recently, so using it a few times shouldn't be a big burden on him. Then, I run in the direction of the unknown girl with both my arms wide open. I have higher physical stats than Abe, which makes me the better candidate between us two to bring her to safety.

"Excuse me."

I scoop her up between my arms, holding her tightly.

"Oh my, you're so strong.~ Do you work out?" (???)

Her compliments flatter me and I notice her blush. I didn't have time to pick her up any other way, so she has to suffer through this embarrassing situation right now.

At a secure place, I let her down gently. Ana has always taught me to treat women with respect since we were children. I can't get these words out of my head, even now, even after we've been separated for several months.

"Cain! Quick!"

Unexpectedly, Abe has less mana left than I thought. The scratchy telepathic transmission and his pained expression speak pages.

Luckily, I haven't sheathed my sword yet, leaving my sword still as long as it was when I killed the other monster. My stigma burns again as the black aura stretches even further. I have to struggle with my mana pool to get my sword long enough to reach the monster, but I manage to stab it by depleting my MP nearly completely.

This time, I don't have to suffer through mana exhaustion.

You have killed a "Felicicat" (Lvl 21)

+2510 EXP

+130 SP

The place quickly becomes crowded with my other companions, who couldn't react as fast. They're asking whether Abe and I are alright, but there's a person who's more important right now.

"Are you alright?"

I hold out my hand to the objectively attractive woman. Her facial features are a bit more on the handsome side, but it easily fits her coupled with her cool looks.

"Aren't you a prince charming?" (???)

With a smile on her face, she takes my hand and stands up.

Contrary to my expectations, her build is firmer than I thought. Now that she's on her legs, I can notice that her muscles are well developed, although it's difficult to exactly make out under her baggy clothes. But who am I to judge? In this hellish situation, we all do everything to survive. Looks don't matter much.

"Thanks to your impeccable rescue, I am fine. Thank you oh so much." (???)

She really seems to be alright, as there's not a single scratch visible on her body or her clothes. This is extremely important since even the slightest wounds can be fatal in this world.

"Are you sure? You should get checked out by our healer, in case something's wro-"

"Nah, I got someone to blow on my ouchie boo boo in case I get hurt." (???)

"...what?"

I notice how her speech pattern cracked slightly here, but that's most likely just a peculiarity that many of us developed recently.

As soon as he has recovered a bit, Abe makes his way towards us again. He sweats just as much as I do, showing that we both don't have much mana left in us, but a mocking smile still lingers on his face.

"What's wrong, buddy? Did another girl fall for your heroic act?"

"What? Of course not!"

Such poking fun is one of his gimmicks that I don't enjoy as much. It always puts me and the other person in an uncomfortable situation, even if it's always a wrong assumption.

Flustered, I turn back towards the probably embarrassed girl...

She's twitching her eyebrows at me with a mischievous grin.

"Shit, maybe?" (???)

"What?"

I repeat myself for the third time now, but too many things don't seem to make sense.

Even so, I can't read her facial expression. I'm sure that I saved a normal girl, but right now she looks like she's making fun of me in this situation. An unusual reaction if I've ever seen one.

"Wait, really?"

Even Abe is confused, which is rare to see from him.

"I mean, who wouldn't fall for a guy who saves a damsel in distress? Especially if they get the double pack of a handsome black-haired guy and his white-haired counterpart." (???)

Respectively, she described me and Abe in a heartbeat.

At this point, we are both stunned. Her demeanor has completely changed from just a second ago, completely taking control over the conversation and not letting go of the reams, which I did not think to get taken away from me so quickly.

"So, what are two handsome guys doing around these parts, all alone?" (???)

I look around. The other members of our group are clearly still present, but she seems to just ignore them.

Silence falls over us for a second, before Abe nudges me with his shoulder, refusing to say anything himself.

"Come on, I won't bite." (???)

Another mischievous smile by her.

"Hard."

Now she's winking at us.

The serious, tense atmosphere of the apocalypse is thrown into disarray by a single person.

"W- well..."

I stutter, which usually doesn't happen to me.

"We... we heard that London became a safe haven recently."

"Did you now?" (???)

I don't know what it is. I can't stop the feeling of subordination. It's not like she's actively doing something, but more like an instinct. She doesn't exude bloodlust or anything else that I've seen from strong monsters, nor does she try to be threatening.

It's like it's natural for her to be the dominant one.

Abe and I look at each other, not sure who it is that's before us. Or why we had to save her just now.

"Yeah, everyone we've met told the same thing. That someone wiped out a ridiculous number of monsters in London and that it's slowly becoming habitable. Everyone who survived is making their way here."

The person in front of me is staring at me, interested.

"Whoever that person was, they must be incredibly powerful they say."

"Awww stop it, you're making me blush.~ I regret to tell you, but I don't swing that way." (???)

My heart stops for a second. The meaning behind this sentence, although it was masked as a joke, was clear. Everyone who was just muttering among themselves, trying to make sense of the situation, fell silent again.

"THAT'S IT!" (???)

Suddenly, breaking through the silence, another girly voice, this time more natural, shatters the silence with incredible vigor.

"Fuck me. There goes my fun." (???)

Even though the red-haired girl in front of me complains, she still has a smile on her face. It's as if she anticipated this situation, looking in the direction of the voice.

"You said you wouldn't give them any clue about us or on how strong we are. And in the first few sentences, you fuck up!" (???)

"I did not!" (???)

"Strength sometimes can't be concealed, oh companion o' mine. You have to understand." (???)

Another unknown voice, this time more squeaky, announces itself.

"See? My strength can't be concealed, she says!" (???)

The bodyless voices come out of the thick bushes of the park we're in. I couldn't sense them until now, which shouldn't make sense, since I received high perception of my surroundings along with my powers. Unless they're far stronger than I am.

Cold sweat runs down my back at the realization that we might have just been toyed with this whole time.

"How... how strong are you?"

"Man, if you don't stop stroking my ego like that, I might let you stroke something else of mine." (???)

"...what?"

I repeat myself once again.

Out of the bushes, the bodyless voices make themselves finally visible. First, a little girl, clad in black and with horns on her head, runs to the girl with red hair, who's built up a distance between us in the blink of an eye. I couldn't even notice her move and neither could Abe, who's standing right next to me.

"Good work, gathering intel. What have you found out?" (???)

Uncharacteristically, the little girl speaks dominantly with the girl who's two heads taller than her.

"See the guy with black hair?" (???)

Although she's only pointing at me, I somehow wish that she'd do the exact opposite.

"He has a cool mark on his arm that gives him power. He was only able to get it after committing a sin worse than any!" (???)

"Woooooow!" (???)

Reflexively, I grab my right arm, which still stings after using it twice in a row. The jacket I wear over it cools it down at least a bit, but now that I think of it, since the moment we met her, this mark has been slowly heating up. Even in battle, it has never done this.

So why is it doing it now?

"Well, we got at least some information out of them..." (???)

The somber voice returns, coming even closer until the shuffling inside the bush stops. Silver hair is the first thing I see, and the second-

"Pffft."

I'm unable to repress a snort of laughter coming out of my mouth. Quiet laughter spreads among my conpanions behind me. The red-haired girl's eyes shine while looking at her, trying to suppress her own laughter,

"BEHOLD! MY MASTERPIECE!" (???)

Now it's the silver girl's turn to be confused, as she looks around frantically. Her face could otherwise only be described as beautiful, just like her metallic-silver eyes, but she definitely does not have a clue what she looks like right now.

"What? What's going on?!" (???)

"I told you that you should've let me carry the chuuni loli inside my pouch and that I didn't want to come here. But nooooo, you wouldn't listen." (???)

"Wait, you didn't seriously-" (???)

Out of nowhere, a shiny piece of metal flies towards the silver girl with incredible speed, until stopping right in front of her, as if its place was always at that exact position.

She looks inside her own reflection and soon her mouth turns agape. Her face flushes, although I don't know if it is because of anger or embarrassment.

"YOU! YOU ARE SUCH A CHILD! CUNT! I SWEAR, I WILL-" (???)

"Come on, use your inner voice. There are other people present." (???)

The third unknown person is too occupied with laughing to contribute in any way to the bout they're having. Soon, the silver-haired girl resorts to several acts of violence, which would seem to inflict serious injury to normal humans.

"The only thing that I can say is that you activated my trap card. Should've just enjoyed the beautiful day with me while running." (???)

Several pieces of metal fly her way, but she dodges them as though she's done it already thousands of times. Her maneuvers make me wonder how many times they've already fought like this.

"Well then..." (???)

The silver-haired girl is still furious, but she still follows the obvious leader of the group away from us. The little girl is still chuckling, while I'm just glad that all of this is over.

Until that person turns around one last time.

"Oh yeah, Cain." (???)

Her hand goes through her hair, which promptly comes off. Black hair reveals itself under the wig, as she... he rips off his clothes, showing off a set of armor. He puts the wig inside an impossibly small, brown pouch on his waist and looks back at me.

I freeze. He hasn't even done anything but something screams at me that the person in front of me is not to be messed with.

This feeling is almost nostalgic. As if I've met him before. Hazy memories flow from my mark into my brain, confusing me with dream-like, blurred obscurity.

"It was nice seeing you again. Say hi to Awan from me." (???)

Without a clue why the face of Ana jumps in my head, the mark on my arm reaches a point of being scorchingly hot, burning a hole through my already tattered clothes.

I drop to my knees in pain, cold sweat dripping from the tip of my nose. I'm certain of it. My mark is reacting to the person in front of me.

In the next second, all three of them vanished just as quickly as they appeared. All of this hasn't taken more than 10 minutes, but it felt like several hours.

A hand lands on my shoulder.

"Cain..."

Abe recovered quicker than me, as always.

"Have we ever mentioned your name while she... he was here?"

I look at the stigma on my arm. I hear a slight whisper from it, although unintelligible.

But I can make out one thing.

It's laughing.

"To be honest, that's not the biggest concern I have."

*

----------------------------------------

*

"You're not only a shit person but also a shit actor." (Jess)

"*GASP* How dare you!" (Me)

Completely unjustified, Jess continues to insult me. Her red face still hasn't returned to normal, but it's more from embarrassment than from anger now.

"The way you acted like you were scared was ridiculous." (Jess)

"PenisFaceSaysWhat?" (Me)

"What? No wait." (Jess)

'I made the same joke today.'

'It's called teamwork.'

The pungent smell of rotting flesh becomes more apparent the closer we come to the tower of flesh. Red miasma nearly blocks our entire view like a thick fog, although it was so thin just a few minutes ago. At this point, it wouldn't be a weird assumption that the tower is some kind of an epicenter of the apocalypse.

"Was that really how you act?" (Jess)

"Of course not silly!" (Me)

Jess gestures for me to go on.

"Usually, I would exercise several other tricks to make them believe me." (Me)

Risa has nearly calmed down from her laughing fit, which made me just as happy as her. The joke was on Jess, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

"For example?" (Jess)

"I would've shat my pants to show that I'm scared. I just didn't want to soil the new armor." (Me)

"..." (Jess)

"I'm a very dedicated person." (Me)

Both look at me intently, trying to find any clue of a joke. But acting is not a joke for me.

"I am a true artist." (Me)

"You're stupid." (Jess)

We finally arrived right in front of the wriggling door made out of rot and bones with these last words. The squishy sound it makes while it slithers open isn’t exactly something you hear every day, but it still tries welcoming us in at least.

"Ooohh, how inviting." (Me)