"Wait, wait. I thought you said Jessica was Ralph's step-aunt. But now you're saying Cassandra is her evil twin, but she's NOT related to Ralph? How in the world does that make sense?"

Trainwreck, in a much-downsized suit, sat on the couch with Minion. Had he not been able to hear the inane topic of discussion, Megamind might be forgiven for thinking Minion was divulging the secrets of the universe with how seriously he took it.

"I," Minion had a look of pain on his face. And went for the remote, clicking the play button. "Just keep watching. It will all make sense!"

Megamind was fifty-fifty on whether or not this was Minion's aversion to spoilers at play or if he'd simply not been able to piece together the plot of his favorite series.

He put them out of his mind for now, making the final adjustments.

It was ready.

Megamind took both hands and slapped his face, hopping in place to pump himself up.

Now or never.

But first.

"Minion, will you put it on pause? This is a big moment for me."

It deserved more than the backdrop of a Spanish soap opera.

"But…" Minion turned to look at him, standing up after seeing his hand was on the button. "Oh! You're doing it."

He hopped over the couch, racing towards his side.

"Is the-"

"Yes, of course, the beacons are done. They're already in place. See?"

He pointed at the middle of the teleporter pad where the two stand-ins for Minion and him were set up. They both had beacons that should, maybe, probably, transmit a signal between dimensions.

"Alright," Trainwreck clambered over after seeing Minion's reaction. "I'll bite. Why is there a you made out of watermelon on some fancy schmancy pad?"

Megamind huffed; as if it were that simple.

"It's not watermelon; well, it's not just watermelon. I needed some organic material to—look, I don't have time to explain all the sensors and adjustments I made. But I guarantee, as far as the universe is concerned, those two might as well be us."

Visually, there might have been some discrepancies, but the fundamentals were sound. They were exact duplicates where it mattered.

"Sir, why am I leaking?"

Perfectly sound replicas.

"Never mind that Minion." Megamind thumbed the button. "I've covered everything. Even the explosion will be absolutely identical."

His thumb pressed down, the satisfying click sounding.

Arcs of electricity sprang to life, coating the circular platform. They embraced both figures, mapping each of their bodies and preparing to transport them through space itself.

"Did you just say something about an explosion?" Trainwreck asked, his mechanical appendages taking a step back.

The machine continued, the trails of electricity beginning to circle the pad in a repeated fashion.

A mechanical hum filled the lair.

"Yes, I nailed it down to the last atom. I'm sure."

Repeating himself was tiresome.

"Uhh, boss." Minion sheepishly scratched the back of his container. "I know I was there, but how big was that explosion again?"

Megamind tried to think; he didn't actually know. They were only caught with part of it due to being transported elsewhere.

The sound reached a crescendo, and, perhaps a tad late, it dawned on him what the other two were getting at.

Right.

Well, it was far too late to turn it off now.

"Every-"

There was a flash of light followed by a muted blast. It was rather underwhelming all things considered.

"Is fine?" Megamind finished, looking around to confirm the situation. The pad was smoking; the internals would need some work after. The rest of them had come out of it without a scratch, with only having to contend with a brief rush of wind. The explosion must have been centered around the delivery point then. "See, just like I predicted."

"Then why were you diving for cover? Trainwreck asked an inconvenient question.

Megamind brushed himself off. He might have thrown himself to the floor at the final second, but that was just because of old habits.

"Stop living in the past." He marched to the computer terminal. "Let's find out where they ended up."

He sat at the computer, the locator program he'd made already queued up. There was a signal! That was an excellent start.

He honed in on it and promptly slumped back into his chair.

"That's…somewhere in the commercial district?" Minion unhelpfully pointed out. "You know, technically, this means it worked right this time."

Hmm, he supposed that was true. It was designed to whisk them out of harm's way and to another part of the city. That mission had just been accomplished with the doppelgangers.

"Does that mean a random business got both of your ugly mugs dropped in their lobby?" Trainwreck questioned, a smile tugging on his lips.

"Potentially, but that's beside the point. It may not have worked, or failed, like I wanted, but the data I collected should give me something to work with. If not, I'll throw out the old quantum physics textbook and write a new one."

It wouldn't be the first time he'd had to redefine a scientific field.

"What should we do with it?" Minion cautiously approached the smoldering device, gingerly poking it with a toe before pulling back quickly. "It takes up a lot of room."

It was definitely reparable, but if he had to start from scratch, it might not be worth it.

Then again…

"Leave it for now. I'll see about getting it up and running; maybe improving on the design this time instead of copying the last." He could make it a decent bit slimmer and easier to transport. "I've been meaning to add more things to my tool belt anyway."

His De-Gun had taken back its rightful place, but he wasn't satisfied stopping there.

With it brought to his attention, Megamind got up and paced over to where the Brain Bots were assembling some of his new toys.

It was a rush job, but they weren't that complex.

"You throwing a party or something?" Trainwreck asked, apparently very nosy today.

If he squinted a bit, they did look like disco balls.

"No. But don't worry, we'll invite you if we do." Minion butted in, waving a hand at the conglomerate of balloons starting to monopolize a corner of the lair. "These are survey balloons."

"Surveillance Minion, surveillance." Megamind corrected. "We're not asking them who they're voting for; instead, we'll be able to see them cast the very ballot."

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

Megamind had no idea when elections were scheduled here. Back in Metrocity, he only ever kept tabs on it because it proved a convenient day to conduct mischief.

"Spy shit? They seem pretty shiny for that."

The survey balloons were barebones, stuffed with surveillance equipment and a scaled-down version of the anti-gravity tech the Brain Bots used. Their carrying capacity was negligible, and they wouldn't get to where they were going quickly, but they could hover over an area for as long as he willed them to.

As for why they looked like a disco ball, it was one extra facet he'd made to conceal them.

"Watch." He tapped on his wristwatch, activating one of the balloons. The reflective surface of it shimmered before the entire thing disappeared from view. "What did you think all that glass I got from you was for?"

With the amount balloons he was producing, he could cover most of the Empire's 'territory.' Once he was done with the whole thing, he could repurpose them for something more fun.

"Fuck if I know, figured you were making a bunch of mirrors or some shit. Seem like the type of person that likes looking at himself."

"Of course I do; who wouldn't like gazing upon this handsome jawline?" He was truly blessed to have such outstanding features. "But I was ordering tons of it; you didn't think that was strange?"

Trainwreck shrugged, and Megamind got the sense he didn't often think too hard about things. He wasn't sure how anyone could live like that.

"Anyway, what kind of food do you guys have here?"

Trainwreck started walking to the kitchen area, quickly being followed by Minion.

"All kinds of things, I can whip something-"

Megamind let their voices fade from his mind; clearly, he was going to have to do the majority of the work himself. Which was nothing new.

Intelligence was currently being worked on; that left brawn. He needed more of an oomph to take down his opponents; his encounter with Armsmaster was uncomfortably close.

Power armor was an option. But he wasn't a huge fan of it. He liked feeling the thrum of a laser in his hand rather than bashing someone in the face like some philistine. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only vote here. There would be more opponents where his ability to pin them with a Debilitate or another manner of projectile would be hampered.

Perhaps something more compact? Something he could hideaway and deploy on a dime. It would take quite some work to fit everything he needed in an easily transportable container, but it was possible.

Fortunately, he recently acquired a suitable example of compressed tech.

Megamind walked to a work table, picking up the half of Armsmaster's halberd in his possession. He wouldn't be copying anything outright, but stealing a trick or two?

Well, he was a villain.

"Let's see what makes you tick then."

—

"I ain't saying this fucking shit."

Megamind sighed; some people were really difficult to work with.

"It is a bit…" Canary trailed off, not meeting his eyes and holding one arm with the other. "Ridiculous."

Patience. He reminded himself to have patience while pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes. Canary, on his request, had come over for another one of their sessions. With Trainwreck in no apparent rush to leave, he'd taken advantage of the extra body and drafted him for roleplaying. You could never be too prepared after all.

In this particular scenario, the plucky 'hero' was confronting the nefarious villain who'd taken a wise-cracking damsel hostage. Said hostage was naturally Minion in a wonderfully silky blonde wig.

The two hadn't started off on the right foot, with Canary taking offense at—well, he wasn't sure what part of Trainwreck she disapproved of, but there was plenty to choose from.

While he'd hoped they would get along, he didn't expect them to be united against him of all things.

On his director's chair, Megamind brought a traffic cone to his face and spoke loudly.

"Minion, please explain why this is necessary. Again."

Megamind delegated the onerous task. If it was just repeating what he said before, Minion got it right seven times out of ten.

"Happy to!" Minion enthusiastically replied while his body dangled upside down. He'd been suspended from the rafters of the lair with a cord made of titanium. The awkward position did little to hamper him, as he simply righted himself in his container. "You see, even the best-planned capers can turn awry when a third party is involved. As the host, the villain is responsible for keeping things on track. This is about using your improvisation and critical thinking skills towards that goal."

The cord groaned as Minion swayed during the delivery. Spider Mites acted as dummy crocodiles below him, snapping their manadbles in a false display of threat.

"Very good, Minion." Megamind nodded, pleased at the recap. "Now. Can we please get a move on? We all have very busy schedules."

Their 'hero' for the day, Trainwreck, squinted his eyes as he tried to read the script he'd been handed. Although Megamind would call them more guidelines than anything.

"Great buttery biscuits; release her, you fiend…and get ready for a large helping of justi-" Trainwreck closed his fist, crumpling the paper. "I don't care how much you pay me; no way in hell am I finishing that." Who was paying who now? Did Minion promise someone gainful employment again? He really should know better by now. "Nobody talks like this."

That was patently false.

"He's got a point," Canary backed up the self-admitted amnesiac. "I can play it up as much as I want, but if Triumph or whoever else doesn't play along, it falls kind of flat."

That was a recurring problem. One he'd been trying to think of solutions to.

"Do you think it will help if we send him a script ahead of time?" Minion added, still upside down.

If only things could be that easy. It would take a lot more than a piece of paper to bring up a proper hero. Their entire culture was wrong, and he wasn't sure how to fix it.

"And I really don't see what this has to do with taking the city." Trainwreck tacked on, walking right past the villain and pushing her hostage so that he swung like a pendulum.

"Wait." Canary held out a hand, shaking her head before continuing. "Taking what now?"

He'd been hoping to avoid this conversation a little longer. It was rather rude to promise a young aspiring villain the world and then coming in from the top and claiming the city.

Megamind rose from his chair, walking over and placing a hand on the young villain's shoulder, who looked at him with a great deal of perplexity.

"You've been doing well," he said gently, keeping a soothing tone. "It's not you; it's the city itself. They need real standards put in place. But don't worry, you'll still play an important part. Once I force out those bad eggs, there will be a power vacuum. New villains will pop up, and they'll be looking for an example to follow."

He pulled back his hand, beginning to pace with an arm pointed in the air for emphasis.

"Now, it would be too intimidating for them to follow my act. But you, you're much more approachable." He turned sharply on his heel, pointing a finger at her. "I will be expecting you to be a sort of ruler stick the new aspiring villains can use to measure themselves against."

She stood still, staring at him with a questioning look. Now was the time to add the sweetener.

"And with my prior obligations, I can't stick around forever. Someone will need to be left in my stead to maintain order around here."

It would be a travesty to get things in place only to have them fall apart after he left. Once he got the tech working, he'd surely commute every now and then to check up on things, but at times Metrocity would require his undivided attention.

He could see the wheels turning in her head, and he sat down back in his chair, patiently waiting on her to finish.

"Okay," Canary opened, not sounding all too upset at his calling dibs on the city. "I'm going to brush past the whole thing of a villain taking over a city, even if that's only a thing that happens abroad. Let's say you do, and the Triumvirate doesn't swoop down for a weekend and arrest us all. I'm having enough trouble keeping a couple of dozen women fed and clothed; how do you plan to do that for an entire city?"

Megamind opened his mouth, letting it hang for a second as he realized no words were coming out.

As someone who prided himself on concocting grand plans, he'd never thought about what would really happen once he took Metrocity. The city would just run itself, wouldn't it?

"I plan to be a hand's-off ruler. Let Broken Bay's citizens toil away doing whatever it is they usually do, as long as they tremble in fear at my presence and grant my every demand."

Was that evil overlordy enough? He'd never roleplayed this far into the scenario.

"That sounds solid." Trainwreck nodded, satisfied with his response. "No reason to overcomplicate things. Take what you want and otherwise be left the fuck alone." Megamind couldn't decide whether that endorsement was a positive sign or not. "That being said, I looked at the latest list of what you wanted me to cook up, and we're going to start running short on some items. Copper in particular is going to be a pain in the ass with how much of the damn stuff you need."

It was a convenient conductor; he could get around it if he had to, but he'd rather not be forced to do that on a large scale.

"If we're talking issues, some of the girls from this batch do want to go home. Their homes are overseas, so we'd need to get them on a plane or ship. I'm not sure what all goes involved in that, but I promised I'd look into that."

"I hate to pile on." Minion wiggled his way out of his bindings. It was a simple matter when he could detach his limbs. "But we are going to start running into liquidity issues soon. We need cash, and fast."

Villainy was not meant to take this much work.

But fine, he could adapt. The money was the easiest part.

"Long term, we'll seize the Empire's resources and add them to our own. As for more immediate concerns, we can take more 'contract' work." Megamind air quoted the last word. "With our sneaky friend."

He sent a knowing look to Minion, who gave him a thumbs down. Megamind assumed that he'd yet to realize he was right-side up again.

Knowing the players in his city was important. While he could appreciate the art of leaving the audience guessing at the villain behind the curtain, there was such a thing as too much.

The mercenary employing Coil was edging that line. Megamind was still split on what caliber of villain he was; he planned to use cooperation as a guise to find out more about his operation and whether or not he would be allowed to stay in Broken Bay.

That was money done. As for the other two, nothing came to mind right away.

"If the floor's open." Megamind jumped at the intrusion. The source was the vagrant Harry. "I know where you can find heaps of copper just lying around. I'm talking tons of it."

The man was leaned up against a supporting column, munching on a bag of chips while leaving crumbs everywhere.

"First thing, what are you even doing here?" He didn't remember inviting him over or how long he'd been here; it was slightly worrying. "Second thing, if there's so much of it. Why has no one claimed it?"

Copper was the one thing the trainyard was usually barren of.

"Cleaning out your pantry." He admitted shamelessly. "And scrappers can't get at it on account of all the water. I bet the salts corroded it a fair bit, but you can probably get around that." Corrosion would reduce the yield, but using tons as measurements, there should be ample supply. "Anyway, if you play your cards right, might be able to get it so Paige's people can get where they need getting."

Megamind made a note about instructing the man on the importance of using someone's given villain name at a later date. He also failed to see how the two issues could be related.

"What do you know about the boat graveyard?"