"How do I look, Minion? Do I look bad enough?"
He twirled around, showing off all sides of him. You never knew which side of you would be captured by a bystander's camera.
"Horrifying as always sir." Minion spoke in that same reassuring tone.
"Are you sure? You're not only saying that to make me feel better are you?" He shook himself from head to toe. His voice began to raise in pitch. "Sorry, I'm not usually this nervous before one of our forrays."
"Breathe sir." Minion counseled while placing a comforting hand on his back. It moved in a circular motion.
"I'm breathing, I'm breathing." He slapped his face twice. "It's just, this is so important." He started pacing through the dark and damp tunnel. "It has to go perfectly. Everything is in place right?"
He looked expectantly to his Minion who nodded and gave a thumbs up.
"Smoke emitters are in place along with the lights and recording bots. They'll capture every angle of your grand entrance."
"What about-"
Minion cut him off with a raised finger.
"Anddddd the speaker bots are strategically placed for the best acoustics."
"Good, no excellent!" He exclaimed, giving a small hop in place. "It's going to all go excellent."
His words were meant more for himself than for Minion.
"If you're so anxious sir, we could always postpone? It doesn't have to be today."
"No!" He yelled a bit too quickly, moving forward and grabbing Minion's fake chest fur. He realized his overreaction and smoothed it out. "I mean, we're already here and we paid for parking."
"Did we?" Minion asked with a tilt of his head.
"We did." Megamind shamelessly lied. They hadn't even parked. "So there's no going back. It has to be today."
"You're the boss."
"Yes, I am." He confirmed.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the smell of stale water entering his nostrils. He exhaled, letting the tension bleed from him.
"Minion, how many robberies have we committed?" The memories flashed by him, each more glorious than the last.
"Geez sir, I haven't actually kept count. I'm sure we can pull the official record once we get back to Metro City."
Metrocity did keep comprehensive records. Sometimes he stayed in incarceration just long enough to be read his list of crimes…they were some fun times.
"Sir?" Minion questioned after some time, forcing him back to the present.
"Ballpark me." He curtly responded.
"A couple hundred? At least."
That sounded about right to him.
"So we have, today will be no different to those."
"Um, you mean apart from the losing that is?"
"Losing?" He turned, aghast at his friend's choice of words. "I think you mean almost winning! But yes. Today. There will be NO almost."
There couldn't be.
Another breath was taken. He kneeled, confirming what was in his boot, and then rose to his full height.
He licked his gloved fingers and swiped them on his eyebrows.
"Minion, the time?"
Minion checked his wrist which was adorned by a previously broken watch they'd found. He'd found it in one of the piles and fixed it when a moment made itself available.
"Two fifteen."
Through years of experience, he knew this was the ideal time to commit a crime. It provided both enough time to show up on the evening news and for the newspaper writers to revise their original draft for tomorrow's morning paper.
His head tilted up, looking at the gray concrete that made the roof of the storm drain they'd sequestered themselves in. He'd scouted this area with the camera bots from above and below before deciding on this avenue of approach.
They'd been camping out here most of the day, having traveled in the dead of night. He didn't want to risk them being spotted prematurely and having the surprise ruined. He'd have to see about upgrading the Megamobile with his usual suite of stealth tech after their victorious return.
Calculations ran in his head and he walked a few paces, getting into the proper position.
He unhooked his gun from the belt fit around his waste. He checked the setting, ensuring it was on destroy. His other hand grasped a remote controller. A final thought crossed his mind and he patted a small sack attached to his hip, feeling the circular object. It had been a last-minute thought, a piece of insurance created with the leftover chemicals he had on hand.
"Are you ready Minion?"
"Always." His fishy friend replied with a grin.
Megamind matched his, allowing himself to be lost in it for a moment. Heart now beating steady, his thumb pressed the zero button.
Underground, they had no way of seeing if his inventions were working as intended. Instead, they listened intently. Waiting for the telltale screams, car horns, and any other noise indicating panic as smoke filled the busy street.
The first met his ears, then the second, followed by a third. They blended together, forming a beautiful symphony. He raised a finger, miming the movements of a conductor.
No, not miming. He was the conductor of today.
His gun was brought up at an angle. He checked his position one last time, it wouldn't do to allow dust or debris on him at this stage. Satisfied, he waited.
One hand on the trigger, the other on the remote.
5
4
3
2
1
Now!
His finger squeezed and a beam of blue energy erupted from his hand.
It laid into the concrete, coating the surface until it violently exploded outward. Daylight peaked through the hole, the smoke being strategically placed so as to not obscure his arrival. He let the post-explosion silence hang for a moment before pushing the play button and hooking the remote on his belt.
AC/DC - Back In Black
Overhead, music erupted. He'd scoured the internet for hours finding just the right track and downloaded the highest quality version available. Music sets the mood, the tempo, the energy!
He took careful but confident steps over the rubble, using it as an improvised staircase. His figure ominously rose from the ground, looking to have ascended from the depths of hell itself!
Placing his boot on the lip of the hole, he gave one last powerful step and fully revealed himself.
The lights flashed on him.
The roads were empty, the smoke having completed its job. It wouldn't do for anyone to be in the way of his shot.
The bystanders had huddled on the sides of the street, forming appropriate background material. He desperately wanted to witness their reactions, he was sure they were beyond terrified of his presence! Reveling in it now would break the mood, he'd have to settle for admiring his handiwork in the lair.
Out of the corner of his eye, he confirmed the presence of a camera bot orbiting above, suspended by a fan. He'd done his best to reduce the noise it produced but it wasn't like the anti-gravity tech he usually used. He'd need to bump that up the list.
Devilish grin in place, he gave no words as he took a leisurely pace up to his goal.
Reaching the first stone step, he looked up at the Brockton Bay Central Bank. It was an imposing structure with its six stories. Battlements on the roof were patrolled by gargoyles, the roof itself held up by wide columns.
He aimed his gun at the shut double doors and squeezed the trigger again. He could hear screams emanate from the inside as the glow intensified before blasting the doors of their hinges.
A small trail of smoke drifted from his gun, he brought it up to his lips and blew. The camera bots better have captured that!
With his path clear, he strode into the bank. Incoherent babbling and sobbing greeted him. It felt like a homecoming.
There were guards, foolishly leveling their pistols in his direction. He regarded them with a look and their eyes shifted erratically, some even appeared to look past him. His intimidating visage must have worked because before long they set their weapons down.
He bobbed his head to the side, letting the music play out as the terror of his presence grew.
"Citizens of Brokenbay" He announced in a commanding voice after the track had finished. "How lovely for you to join us on this most evil of days. A day this city will NEVER forget!" He paused for an appropriately evil cackle. "I'm sure you're wondering-" The blare of the alarm interrupted him. He frowned and pointed his gun, silencing it. Its sound was replaced by a chorus of screams. "AS I WAS SAYING." He tried yelling to regain control of the room but his audience was being difficult. He let off several shots into the ceiling, he hadn't fully pulled the trigger so they were low power. "SILENCE."
The rabble quieted down, the occasional sob and sniffling being heard.
"Geez Minion it's like these people have never been robbed." He whispered to his companion who had followed at his back.
"I know sir, it's very sad."
He cleared his throat and threw his cape back.
"I'm sure you're all wondering who I am! Well, don't mind me. I'm here to make a withdrawal."
He swaggered to one of the teller stations. Peering over, he could see the tellers crouched against one of the walls. He rang the bell a couple of times but they only shrank in on themselves.
He rolled his eyes and pointed at one, waiving them forward. Trembling steps brought them to their post.
"W-what-" Their stuttering voice choked off as Minion leaned towards them.
"Pshhh." Minion spoke in a low voice. "Ask him how much he wants to withdraw."
She nodded with tears in her eyes.
"H-how much do you want to withdraw?"
"Hmm, I'm not quite sure." He rubbed his immaculately groomed goatee in mock thought. "How about…EVERYTHING you have." He leaned over the counter excitedly before pulling back and waiting for the next part.
"Ask him what the name on the account is." Minion continued to feed the teller her lines.
Whatever was sobbed out was not what she had been instructed to say. Amateurs. He'd have to edit that interaction to make up for that poor delivery.
"The name on the account you ask? Why it's.." He pushed another of the remote's buttons, connecting the mic pinned to his chest to the speakers. "MEGAMIND."
A pin could be heard dropped, Minion was following his instructions to a T.
"Hahahhaha, Now go! Flee in terror! Call your heroes so they may try to face my villainous might!"
They seemed to hesitate so he fired at the ceiling again. That signaled the beginning of a race as they trampled over each other to leave the bank.
He swept his gaze across the deserted lobby, ready to enact phase two when he spotted a boy that had remained rooted in place. No doubt paralyzed by fear.
"You there, little boy. Run along now" He made a shooeing motion.
"No way." The boy spoke almost absentmindedly while holding his phone in front of him. "I'm going to get so many likes for this."
Likes?
The term didn't fit the way it was used. Never mind that he had a schedule to keep.
He fired his gun and the boy was hit by the debris from the floor in front of him. The boy fell back, finally getting the message, and ran out of the bank.
Distantly, the sounds of sirens increased.
He turned to face his friend. His expression shifted, mirroring the horror he'd just inflicted on his victims.
"Minion! I thought I told you to leave the fanny pack at the lair! It ruins your image!"
He didn't know where it even came from. He certainly wouldn't have stolen it.
"But sir, it's so useful for carrying things." Minion demonstrated it as such, zipping it open to reveal glowing cubes and a folded waterproof sack.
Megamind grabbed the sack.
"It cheapens our, my brand. I can't be seen in public with you wearing that! Let alone during my debut!"
"How about I wear it like this then." Minion shifted it so it was placed backward. "That way you'd only see it from behind me."
"Fine." It wasn't but he hadn't the time to argue. "Go, get everything in position. I'll handle the vault."
"On it!" Minion replied, cubes in one hand and dropper in the other.
He approached the vault and leveled his trusty sidearm. He targeted the sides of it, outlining the whole structure. Each pass cut deeper into the metal, once he judged it was deep enough he called.
"Minion, the door if you would."
He didn't need to be told twice, running over. He gave not a grunt as his mechanical arms grasped the door and pulled. It gave a screech as it was misplaced and then a thud as Minion set it to the side before running back to finish setting up.
Megamind felt the heat from the glowing red metal as he entered the vault. At one end, stacks of bills sat begging to be given a new home. He was more than happy to accommodate them.
Shifting his gun to dehydration, he shot at them. Each stack, originally weighing hundreds of pounds was reduced to mere ounces. He skipped to them, scooping them up and placing them in the sack.
How nice it was to have his dehydration gun back, it made things so much more convenient.
He re-entered the lobby, seeing Minion had finished directing the camera bots. Two on opposite sides of the room, with one on a repeating pattern orbiting the ceiling. Brain bots would not need so much direction and would be far more dynamic in their camera angles. He'd need to create some before his next big criminal outing.
Tables had been rearranged to create a narrow corridor from the former main entrance to a throne. The throne had been created with some of the lair's former roof material. Several lights were honed in on it. Smoke clung to the sides of the room.
He made to take his place when Minion stopped him.
"Uhh, sir. You're on fire."
"Thank you, Minion. You're doing an acceptable job yourself."
Minion pointed behind him.
"No, I mean you're actually on fire."
"What?!?" He looked behind himself, turning like a dog chasing his tail. His cape was on fire! He urgently patted it down, extinguishing the flames. In his hands, his once magnificent cape was marred with burns. "No….."
It was going so well. How could this have happened?
The vault…it must have caught fire when he crossed it. Curses! He should have dehydrated it instead.
"You stopped it pretty quickly. The sprinklers didn't even have a chance to go off." Minion pointed up at the fire sprinklers before leaning in and inspecting the damage. "And it's not that bad? I think it gives a sinister feeling."
"Really?" He looked up with hopeful eyes.
"Absolutely, I'm actually considering incorporating it in future designs."'
"Well, if you say so." Minion would not lie to him. "Yes, let's proceed to phase three then."
He sat on his makeshift throne of Evil. One leg crossed over another, his fingers drummed on the armrest. The sack resting on his lap.
The sirens had grown stronger and he was certain the street had long been cordoned off.
"Minion, what's going on." His throne was built on a swivel and his back was currently facing the street.
"Looks like a lot of police cars, but then there's also two big vans that look a bit different." Minion's form was laid down on the floor, his container barely peeking over the windowsill. "They have these weird purple stripes and their lights are green and white. I think they say p-"
"The prt, I expected them to respond."
"The who?"
"Did I forget to tell you? The hero organization of this world, I read about them."
"Huh, well they're unloading and they have a lot of heavily armored people…"
"They're just set pieces. Tell me, do you see anyone who looks like a hero? Bright colors? Obnoxiously perfect smiles?"
"I'm not-oh wait-Yes. Someone just arrived, they're pretty fast."
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"Describe them."
"They're wearing a red suit, I can't make it out super clearly from here."
Hmm, that was either the one they called Assault or Velocity. Both of them were fast and wore red.
"Oh!" Minions excited voice followed up. "Someone else just showed up! They're all sparkly."
"Battery." Megamind cut him off, realizing who they faced. "They're a superhero couple."
"Are you sure?" Minion's voice was laced with skepticism.
"I read it on pho itself."
"Okay then…"
A crack sounded. Followed by another.
"What's that?" He asked with a sinking feeling.
"I'm not sure I should tell you, butttt it looks like they might be taking out our camera bots. And speakers. And, well all of the production stuff we left outside."
"What!?!?!? Why?!?!?" There was no reason for them to go after those. Especially the cameras! They weren't feeding back anywhere, all that footage was lost!
Small explosions sounded afterward. His power cells were remarkably stable. Unless you did something like shoot at them!
"The heroes look to be talking, ah. They're approaching sir."
He didn't have time to question their sanity.
"Quickly Minion, by my side."
Minion hurried next to him, facing the door.
"So which one do I get sir?
"Which one?" He almost fell out of his chair. "I'm going to defeat both of them."
He hadn't decided which he'd target first. Would defeating the husband in front of the wife be more evil or should it be the other way around?
"At the same time? That might be difficult."
"Minion Minion Minion, how after all this time do you not know how this works? The heroes always fight the villain one at a time, it's common decency."
Minion was lucky to have him around, otherwise Megamind wasn't sure how he'd survive in the world.
"My mistake sir."
Megamind didn't rebuke him further, focusing his mind on formatting witty banter for the coming struggle.
Minion nudged his chair, signaling him. As a last-minute thought, he changed the settings on his gun.
The chair slowly turned and his voice came from the speakers that remained inside the bank.
"Well well well, heroes. They say until death do its part. Shall we test-"
He froze in his delivery.
"Minion." His whisper reverberated across the room. "That's NOT Assualt and Battery."
"I thought we were doing a robbery?"
"No no, I mean those are different heroes!"
"Oh."
"Oh? Oh? All the lines I have are couples-based!"
"Make new ones? You're very good at that sir."
He was but that wasn't the point.
"Excuse me." Dauntless spoke. "I understand you might be confused but what you are doing here is wrong. It's not too late, there are programs in place to help people like you and we can get you into them as long as you cooperate." An intense stare came out of the slits of his helmet.
He wore what Megamind had seen on their official website. His spear of white lightning was pointed to the ground and a small shield with strange rings of energy was angled towards them. Hero-like white and gold armor covered his form, with his boots radiating crackling energy.
"Confused?" Megamind of a bark of a laugh."It's you that are the confused ones! Don't worry though! Before long, you, this city, and the world shall witness MY might!"
"You two have done enough damage today." Velocity jumped into the fray. "I'm not sure what your goal here was but I can assure you the longer this goes on the longer you'll stay in a prison cell. It's in your best interest to submit yourselves to our custody."
"Prison? HA. I can assure you better heroes have tried." And succeeded, but they didn't need to know that. "I think you'll find yourselves out of your depth." One hand dropped to his waist, ready to cue the next track when his name was revealed. "Because now, you face the greatest Super Villain ever born. MEGAMIN-"
He didn't get a chance to finish, diving out of his chair as an arc of lightning crashed into his throne.
He got to his feet shakily.
"Hey! What do you think-"
Something, or somethings impacted his throat making him cough. More crashes resounded and he watched as one of his camera bots was shot out of the sky.
He was about to lodge another complaint when something hit the back of his knee. It felt like a stiff breeze trying to knock him off balance.
"Time out!"
The red blur ignored his pleas and struck his side, nudging him slightly.
"This isn't how it's supposed to go." He fired wildly at it.
"I'm supposed to say something like 'The wheels of justice turn too slowly to catch me' and then you say-" His throat was hit again.
He ignored the coughs and looked towards Minion. A desk was ripped from the ground and hurtled towards the hero. It broke against the shield and arcs of lightning responded, washing over Minion.
He'd have to try harder than that. Workman safety was never high on their list of priorities so Minion's frame had been reinforced many times to survive the errant bolt of lightning.
His attention was brought back to his own fight as he felt his knees try to give out on him.
This was all going wrong!
He fired blindly, achieving the same result as before. Some errant pieces of furniture also flew near him. Minion was getting remedial target practice when he got back!
He needed a plan and quick. His beautiful brain provided one and he aimed at Dauntless, letting off a couple of shots that were blocked.
Velocity impacted him a few more times but he was all in now. If he could weather Velocity's hits long enough to defeat Dauntless then Minion and him could gang up on the remaining hero.
Two on one wasn't fair but they started it by cheating!
There was a groan as something was scrapped across the floor and then a whoosh. Megamind frantically hit the ground as the vault door soared overhead.
"Minion! Watch where you're throwing things!"
"Sorry!"
From his prone position, he ignored the kicks to his side and aimed at the Greek-themed hero. He actually fired blindly this time as his eyes slammed shut painfully and he buried his face under his arm.
Poking at eyes was a villain move! Who taught these heroes how to fight?
Suddenly, he felt a jolt. Electricity raced through his body, making his muscles seize up.
This wasn't working, he needed to do something! Anything!
He shakily got to his feet but the jolt hit him again, making him drop his weapon. The other hero followed up and his knees buckled underneath him.
His gun was kicked away. From the floor, he saw Minion had tried to make his way to him only to be blocked. The hero used his lance to stab into the suit.
Was it over already?
"Surrender." Velocity spoke, now at normal speed. "You're disarmed and your friend won't last much longer."
He heard the sound of boots from outside.
Velocity stood near where his throne once was. The sack had fallen when he'd dodged earlier. It was missing now but some of its former contents littered the floor.
That's it!
"Minion! I wish I hadn't saved my cape!" Megamind yelled across the lobby with his eyes trained upwards.
"What?" Minion, in the midst of ineffectively parrying the lance with a chair managed to sport a crestfallen expression.
He was about to slap his head on the ground when Minion followed his eyes.
"OH! On it sir!" The remains of the chair, a splintered leg, shot out and impacted one of the sprinklers.
Water rained down from the damaged sprinkler. Stacks of money exploded outward, catching the speedster off guard.
He took his chance, springing to his feet and retrieving his gun. Velocity was beginning to move but it was too late, a single shot and….he stood there blinking?
Megamind checked his gun's settings, realizing that it had switched at some point. He flicked it back to Debilitate and a blue beam shot out, electrocuting the hero and causing him to collapse.
Not so fun is it!
He ran over, placing a boot on the hero's back. His eyes searched the room crazily, hoping there'd be a camera bot that could capture this epic moment.
Heavily armored figures burst through the door, halting upon seeing him. He had that effect on people. Curiously, they weren't uniform in appearance; having a varying degree of weapons and armor styles donned.
Dauntless flew towards the new arrivals, keeping his front towards Megamind.
Minion limped to his side, one arm was slack.
You could be forgiven for thinking a twister had paid a visit considering the current state of the lobby. Damp bills coated the floor, a vault door was wedged through a wall, and the furniture had all been smashed to pieces. The one exception was a desk near him.
"Careful" Dauntless spoke slowly. "Don't do anything you might regret. You can't come back from being a hero-killer. That's a guaranteed birdcage sentence at best."
Megamind's face shifted to confusion and then felt something shift below him. His gun had been held idle, coincidently pointed towards the fallen hero's head.
He wasn't opposed to taking hostages, he just hadn't meant to take this one!
Improvisation!
A deep belly laugh sounded and some of his opposition's attention shifted to the remaining speakers.
"That's right! Make a move and this will be the last time you ever see Velocity in one piece!"
Seconds ticked by as the occupants in the lobby shifted uncomfortably.
"That's to say, in one piece. Physically. Not what he's wearing." He followed up, prompted by the lack of interaction.
"We understand your point. What do you want to do here Megamind." Dauntless remained floating but the lance seemed to have calmed.
His eyes scanned the ground but the sack was still missing. It must have been blown somewhere when some of the stacks rehydrated. Or maybe water got inside it and all the money was part of the soggy mess on the floor?
Time was against him. The heroes already showed they wouldn't play fair, how long until more showed up?
But without the bag, he couldn't walk away empty-handed. He thought fast.
He leaned to the side, stretching his free arm out. The room tensed at his action. He kept his eyes on the hero and he grasped for what he'd seen on the nearby table.
He found it and raised it to the air triumphantly.
"Hah, try as you might I've succeeded in my goals."
Megamind could hear his heartbeat in the silence following.
"You're trying to tell me, you did this all for a pen?" Despite the situation, Dauntless managed to sound genuinely befuddled.
"Not just any pen! This is a loan officer's pen! It's signed thousands of loans doomed to foreclosures. Its evil can't be described in mere words!" He tucked it into his belt and hauled Velocity to his feet. "Now stay back. Minion, we're leaving."
Dauntless took a step forward.
"We can't let you take him. Leave and you have my word no one will try to stop you."
That sounded like a good deal. He didn't want to haul around the deadweight anyway. Velocity drooped back down to the floor as he released him.
He holstered his gun. His brow furrowed, would the exit track he'd planned still work? He felt for the remote on his waist.
A mechanical hand rushed him, shoving him out of the path of a yellow-white liquid substance that began to rapidly expand.
They shot at him! But they said…
"Sir!" Minion's panicked shout reached him.
The shove had left him on the floor again, the circular object fastened to his belt made itself known to him. He didn't think further, grasping it and crushing it.
How fitting, for his first invention made in the name of evil to save him now.
The previously inert chemicals combined and there was a short pause before blue smoke exploded outward, engulfing the building.
He ran with his arm in front of him. His cape tore behind him, dragged down by something. He found Minion's hulking form and pulled him.
"This way!"
"I'm stuck!" Minion yelled behind him. He turned and saw one of the suit's hands was missing, having never retracted from when it saved him. The link meant to accomplish that was pulled taut, the other end obscured by his smoke.
Set on destroy, he fired without hesitation and severed the extended cord. He turned it on the wall blocking them next, squeezing the trigger fully to blast through.
They ran through an office before using it again and coming out into an ally.
He reached into his boot and pulled out a cube, throwing it into a nearby puddle.
The Megamobile materialized and he hopped into the vehicle, it leaned a moment later as Minion entered.
There were shouts that he didn't pay any mind to as he floored it. He gripped the wheel tightly, making tight turns and weaving around traffic.
His eyes kept snapping to the rearview mirror, sometimes looking over his shoulder.
Nothing came.
There was no grand car chase, no flying hero to chase them down.
He didn't use a direct path on his return, taking a convoluted path. A time or two, he thought they might have been followed but whenever he scrutinized further it turned out to be nothing. His mind playing tricks on him, trying in vain to find something to distract him.
Minion stayed quiet on their drive, knowing he needed time to process what had happened. Eventually, he could delay no longer and changed routes home.
They pulled into their lair with no fanfare. Tired steps brought him out of the vehicle and he slumped against a work table. It collapsed on him. He lay in the wreck, unmoving.
"Sir!" Minion hobbled over. "What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" He repeated, the words came out muffled. His face remained buried in the floor. "I don't know where to even start."
"Is it because we lost the footage? Or that they didn't let you monologue?"
Put together, both of those would have announced his super-villainy far and wide.
"Both…more." He rolled over, facing the broken ceiling. "I wanted a victory. I needed one. A real victory against real heroes." His hands reached up, clenching before falling limp by his sides.
He'd lost hundreds of times. He was proud of each one. He didn't lose to any hero. He lost to the hero. Only the greatest could hope to prevail against his genius.
He knew this to be true and yet, it wasn't. He could forgive his earlier escapade, running from that Laserdream. He hadn't been ready. Today? He had been or he'd told himself he was.
The result? Another failure.
Did he lose because he faced Metro Man?
Or did he lose because he was Megamind?
He didn't need to win every time, he only wanted one. Was it too much to ask?
"We got away, didn't we? Doesn't that mean we win?"
They had escaped. Was he not worth even being chased?
His stomach growled.
He wanted food. He wanted a bed. He wanted to go home…
"What's the point Minion? We didn't get anything out of it. Some villain I am"
Minion looked down on him with a strange look.
"I don't know about that sir." He reached around his body, moving the fanny pack to the front and unzipping it. Glowing cubes tumbled out.
He crawled forward, grabbing one as a man would water in the desert.
"H-how?"
Minion's arm slightly extended before retracting.
"I nabbed the bag at the start. Always secure the loot. You taught me that sir!"
He stared at what he held. They hadn't lost. They'd won!
He leaped up with newfound energy.
"Minion! You fantastic fish you!"
He grabbed the functional mechanical hand, dancing around in joy.
Even with the elation of somehow coming out victorious. A line quietly repeated in his head.
Since when did heroes lie?