Decrepit hulks peaked out of the brackish water. They were north of the market that had the great honor of being the site of his first robbery in this world.

Just off the coast, Megamind could count over forty sunken hulls. They were in various states of disrepair. Some, to his eye, could be raised had he the inclination for it. Others were clear write-offs, the rust having eaten through the cheap steel and letting untold gallons of seawater inside.

The entire image provoked feelings of loss. No, decay. It was a story of glory that would never be regained.

Megamind held out both hands, framing the picture with a squint. In short, it was beautiful. A perfect display of the atmosphere he hoped to cultivate once he took Metrocity.

Committing the scene to memory, he resolved to one day recreate it.

As for now? Sadly, he had to dismantle the effigy.

Megamind snapped his fingers, earning a buzz of activity around him.

"Team one, are you ready to rip?" On his right, the Brain Bots spun up their blades. A whirling sound filled the night sky. He took that as a yes. "Team two, are you ready to tear?"

Mandibles clicked as the Spider Mites excitedly skittered back and forth. This was meant to be their job, but he was still having trouble getting them to not overlap in their duties.

In the crowd of Mites, one large object stood out.

"No, no, no." He stamped his foot while pointing at what he objected to. "Spider Bot, I see you. Yes, you. Did you think a flimsy piece of sheet metal would hide you?" Rather than accept its defeat, it simply hunkered down and tried to fit more of its mass behind the sheet metal. Megamind placed a hand on his face, shaking his head for a moment. "We discussed this. You can be here for motivational purposes, but you're not leaving the coast, got it?"

It nodded a bit too easily, and Megamind clarified.

"That means no shooting either."

There was a mechanical whine of protest that he promptly ignored. It wasn't like he wanted to leave Spider Bot out, but its participation would cause the Brain Bots to push for their newer models to participate. Should he allow that, things would get out of hand quickly.

Reluctantly, Spider Bot split from the group with its many eyes downcast.

Megamind inspected both groups for more abnormalities. He found none and then lifted his gun into the air.

"Then may the best bots win. Three, two." He fired because evil doesn't play by the rules. "Go!"

Something between a mad dash and a chaotic melee ensued. It seemed members of both groups had determined that thinning the competition was a viable tactic.

Which it was, but he was still annoyed by the repairs he'd have to do later.

He let the events play out as they did, knowing at worst he'd have to reattach some optical lenses and limbs.

Water began to splash as some Spider Mites did cannonballs into the ocean, their mechanical limbs propelling them to their targets.

He'd not designed them for swimming but was happy their limited intelligence allowed them to work something out.

"Ain't it a sight." Harry approached from behind him. His jaw moved quickly, chewing on something. He shifted his shoulder, earning a crack. "See the big one, at the edge?"

A scruffy hand stretched out, pointing towards a ship diagonal to the coast. It was nearly completely submerged.

"That right there was me."

The admission prompted a rueful laugh to come from Megamin's lips.

"Oh, I'm sure it was," he said in a condescending manner.

As if the man could pull off something of this scale. No, this was the work of a true artist.

"Humph." Harry made a disgruntled sound, crossing his arms. "Told you I worked for the port, right?"

Something tickled his memory; the man had said something about being a controller of some sort.

"Jobs and money started drying up. We weren't geniuses, but we saw the writing on the wall. In a couple of years, we'd all be out of work. The city wasn't doing jack to stop it either, so we decided to take things into our own hands. We left our boats there and staged a protest." His voice was low, with an almost mourning quality to it. "Police came down hard; can't have us regular folks actually complain about things. No sireee. It got bad, and when we saw where things were going, a few others, and I had the bright idea to go out with a bang. We flooded our own damn boat; let the thing sink to the ocean bed."

Megamind blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked at the man again. Being a sore loser was a quintessential trait in villainy. Minion had picked a suitable minion after all.

"Yes, well, I'm sorry to ruin all your hard work." Harry had a strange look on his face that Megamind took as embarrassment over the unexpected flattery. "But my bots will make quick work of it all."

He could see in the distance the ignition of welding guns as they methodically tore the nearest vessel off the shore apart.

The fully beached ones had already been scrapped for what he was interested in. Most of the ship's materials were useless to him. He didn't need anymore steel, let alone the poor quality that was used in these.

The engine room and various piping throughout the ship were what he was really after; most of that was made out of the elusive copper. He'd taken a propeller or two as well, since some were crafted out of bronze.

For these offshore ships, he had to be more thorough.

"Minion's minion," he spoke in an imperious tone. "Remind me why I have to bother dissembling them."

It wasn't like he'd forgotten; he just found it amusing to have someone else repeat themselves for a change.

"Cause that is what will make certain people happy. And if those certain people are happy, then they'll help us move Paige's people. It's not their usual fare, but given the reason behind it, they're flexible enough to make things work under their boss's noses. Not that they're thrilled about it. Or seeing me again." He rubbed his chin. "I think my jaw was almost cracked. I mean, I'm a right-old bastard, but that's assault on a senior."

Had Minion been the one attacked, he would have intervened on his behalf. But since this was one level removed, he disregarded the man's annoyed mutterings.

One of the hull's gave under it's own weight and crashed into the water, sending a spray up. His bots were cutting straight to the important bits, harvesting them, and then moving the remains out of the way. The top pieces could be dehydrated if not wet enough, but more often than not, it was easier to just drag them out to sea after cutting them up enough.

It was a messy job, but he didn't let himself get hung up on the small details.

He let the display in the bay entertain him, passively keeping an eye on the hero's nest further away.

Would they make a peep? He wasn't sure what to expect with them right now.

He was prepared either way, even if he sent Minion away to focus on other tasks. There was always something that needed doing. The Brain Bots helped, but even they had their limits.

Luckily, he wasn't against double-booking.

Three pairs of headlights appeared on the road that ran along the coast; they moved quickly down the asphalt and soon pulled into the sand. The black SUVs parked side by side in an organized fashion before doors opened and their occupants unloaded.

Like last time, they wore khaki pants and polos, their concealed weapons worn in such a way as to leave no doubt as to their presence. He dubbed the look mercenary casual and briefly wondered if they all shopped at the same outlet store.

Cape flowing in the sea breeze, he must have cut an imposing figure. Sadly, the same could not be said about his company. Megamind elbowed the man next to him, giving him a sharp whisper.

"Stand up straight."

Harry side-eyed him, making the barest correction to his posture.

Clearly, he still needed more work done.

They held themselves to a certain standard, and while the man's slovenly appearance would pass with someone like Trainwreck, it wouldn't do for something like this.

"My employer was pleased to get your call." Megamind was not great with faces, but he thought this might be the same man who'd spoken to them at the trainyards. It was difficult to tell as they all looked similar. "As discussed, we've brought the merchandise that requires maintenance, along with your advanced payment."

With a signal, the back of one of the vans was opened, and a large container was hauled out by two of the mercenaries. They dropped it between both groups; it was innocuous-looking and made out of some heavy-duty plastic.

Megamind snapped his fingers; nothing happened. He looked unhappily towards his companion, realizing he should have kept a Brain Bot by his side. Spider Bot began to move to assist when he waved it off; it was more liable to break the things than help.

He popped the lid of the bin and released a sigh of disappointment. It was more of the same lasers as before. While they were well crafted, he couldn't help but wish it would be something new.

It wasn't a total loss, as he could now examine them in a new light. He'd first noticed it when working on Trainwreck's gear all those weeks ago; certain parts of his gear didn't make sense to him. Megamind had to redesign much of it to get it to function, but the point of the matter was that Trainwreck was able to get it to work when, to the best of his knowledge, it should not have. At the time, he'd thought his own knowledge was lacking.

A truly foolish notion.

"Half now and half at delivery; yes, that will work just fine." It was what they'd agreed upon. Megamind removed one of the lasers, his deft hands prying it open. "I need to check one thing. It won't be a moment."

He could have waited but his curiosity got the better of him.

Studying the remains of Armsmaster's halberd with a bevy of instruments had revealed something intriguing. It wasn't as simple as these tinkers having blueprints and designs pop up in their heads. There was something else at play. Somehow, they were altering the very nature of the machinery they worked with.

The halberd had twisted space internally; he'd originally thought the effect to be from some manner of component, but his scans had revealed none. It was possible that some external device had accomplished the task, but something nagged at him, and that led to him 'borrowing' a few of Trainwreck's limbs and putting them under the microscope.

It lacked the same space quirks that the halberd had, but certain materials didn't behave as he'd expected. They were tougher, had higher heat resistance levels, and were more conductive…

The last one puzzled him as Trainwreck operated on a series of steam-powered pistons, but he documented it all the same. He'd asked the man about it and received a response with much to be desired.

Doing everything himself, as usual, he tested the pieces at regular intervals and discovered their enhanced properties were not static. They degraded over time, albeit slowly. If not for the precise measurements he had taken, he would not have noticed it.

The same was happening here; the focusing lens should only be powerful enough to make a particularly potent laser pointer. Great for blinding pilots when you were bored but severely lacking when you wanted to poke holes into things. Which was often.

With his suspicion confirmed, he pretended to inspect the rest of the cargo.

He could have easily repaired them all here. But he'd prefer to take them back to the lair. That way he could stuff them with all the trackers and booby traps his heart desired.

Megamind continued with the ruse, drawing out the time. The bugs being planted in their vehicles wouldn't take long, but the purpose-built scanners buried in the sand required more time. They'd record a perfect 3D imaging of each mercenary, which he could then cross-reference with as many databases he bothered breaking into.

This type of subterfuge really was new to him. He wasn't a stranger to sneaking around, but he'd never been on the other side, trying to ferret someone out instead.

It was surprisingly engaging. Like putting together a puzzle whose picture went unknown until the final piece was placed.

"Everything is in order." He sealed it back up after determining enough time had passed. "Tell your boss, oh, never mind."

Megamind would save it for when they had a true face-to-face; he imagined that wouldn't be too long from now.

—

"Is she late? What's taking so long?" Megamind asked impatiently, bouncing his foot up and down. He checked his watch; this delay would cut into their time. "Are you sure we're on the right street?"

He was seated in the back of their van. They'd ripped out the side benches and installed two chairs. His, the larger and more impressive of the two, was placed against the far back and was currently swivled as to face the rear doors.

Dark blue curtains had been lined across the interior, and the ground was covered in a carpet akin to blood. Four tesla coils were placed at each corner, sending arcs of electricity out at random. They had no function other than to enhance the atmosphere of this lair on wheels.

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He'd thought about doing this at the lair proper, but given the time constraints, he thought it better to do it on the go.

They'd not operated this way before, but he was confident it would go over smoothly.

"Late, probably." Minion spoke from behind a curtain; he was in the driver's seat. "We had a survey bot on her all night; no one came in and out. We can't have missed her."

He shook his head. Roxanne would have never kept him waiting. She was like clockwork; it made kidnapping her convenient.

Not that this was a kidnapping.

The van lurched forward, and he slammed into the back door.

"Minion!" He yelled angrily while forcing himself back into the chair. "Be more careful; I didn't put any seatbelts on this."

The thought had occurred to him, but he sacrificed function for style, a sensible choice in his opinion.

"I'll try, sir!" Minion responded, his tone not being as remorseful as Megamind would have liked. "We're coming up on her; be ready!"

He was always ready!

The van slammed to a halt, and he was pressed into his chair.

There was a yell of surprise as someone was thrown in. They didn't have much time to get acclimated to their new environment as the van sped off again, and for the second time, Megamind's face pressed against the rear door.

With the curtain parting in the middle, he could see a pair of Brain Bots in a trenchcoat waving goodbye through the back window.

He pushed himself back into the chair, pressing the play button on his watch. From the speakers, the voice of a middle-aged woman sounded.

"Welcome back to the besties baking podcast; I'm your host-"

Megamind cut the feed.

"Minion," He held his watch up, whispering. "Code; did you tape over the lair intro track 3?"

Rather than respond in kind, Minion spoke for the entire van to hear.

"Sorry, boss! I didn't know you were going to use that one. Won't happen again!"

Of that, he'd make sure; he was erasing that podcast from the internet when he got back.

Intro music sufficiently ruined, he made to turn his chair, only to find it too tall for the van and stuck on the roof. He swung his weight, managing to move it an inch.

Megamind braced his feet on the floor; with one great push, he managed to swing all the way around.

"We-" His greeting got stuck in his throat as he noticed the very, very large gun pointed at his head. "Now, is that necessary?"

Megamind crossed his arms, looking at the woman across from him. Dressed in jeans and a turtleneck, she was currently using one hand to point a handgun at him. The other was occupied trying to undo the seatbelt that secured her to the much smaller chair opposite of him.

Her face shifted from one of determination to relief. He must have been seeing things.

"I'm a Hispanic woman living in the bay, you tell me," she said while continuing to try and undo the knot his Brain Bots had tied. "You're Megamind."

He still didn't understand the need for such an impractical caliber of firearm but was happy to know she recognized him.

"That's right!" His voice boomed. "Megamind, Supe-" Someone laid on the horn, and he waited for it to pass. "Super villain extraordinaire!"

She looked to chew on the inside of her lip before lowering the gun slightly. He noticed it remained aimed in his general direction.

"Am…" She looked around the small space, scooting slightly away from one of the tesla coils. "I being kidnapped?"

Megamind audibly laughed at the question.

"You wish. I don't kidnap just anyone." She'd have to have a much higher profile to qualify for that privilege.

He pressed a button, and hidden confetti canisters exploded. The gun was re-trained at his precious forehead, and she seemed a hair trigger away from firing.

Megamind rolled his eyes at the display before hyping himself up to continue with his pitch.

"Congratulations! You have the esteemed honor of publishing an op-ed featuring me. Feel free to pinch yourself."

He had tragically little coverage in the world. Taking the city without the world knowing of his greatness was out of the question, so he thought it apt to get some more of him out there.

A live broadcast might have been preferred, but there was something exciting about a good old-fashioned article.

"You're serious," she said after a beat, the gun lowering again. "Okay, I'm game."

"Really?" Megamind blurted out unintentionally. "I mean, of course, you are."

She'd been handpicked, not because of her ability but because she worked as a columnist at a respectable newspaper and had questionable internet activity, which would provide excellent leverage if she had required convincing.

"Do you have something to take notes on? I didn't expect my coffee run to get hijacked."

Roxanne always had a pen and paper.

Being ever prepared, Megamind handed over a pair, and she finally put the gun away.

"Okay, first thing." She fired off before Megamind could pose the question she should ask. "The bank, what was up with that?"

The bank? It felt like a lifetime ago now.

"Oh, that. Just a quick stop to deposit funds and say hello to you locals." It was where he first started questioning the state of this world.

"The Protectorate claimed it was a victory; you deny that?

He didn't like the way the news had spun it, so it was about time he'd correct the narrative. Not that he hadn't tried before; he'd just never done it so directly.

"I'm sure they did," Megamind breathed with some heat. He took a moment to return to his normal tone. "But I got away with a considerable sum and an artifact of great evil."

Their words couldn't change the fact that he'd won, even with their cheating.

"Artifact?"

A dark chuckle spilled from his lips, and he pointed at her writing instrument.

"A pen used to foreclose on countless childhood homes. Fitting that it would now transcribe my evil intent."

She turned it in her hands, looking at the words 'Brockton Bay Central Bank' on the side.

"Oh," she said simply. That hadn't been the reaction he was going for. "Moving on. You posted a long and uncut piece of footage calling out the former leader of the ABB, Lung." Uncut, what did she mean uncut? Minion spent hours editing that piece. "Can you comment on his capture? The Protecterate reported he was taken in by Armsmaster and Miss Militia but also stated he was in an altercation with villanous elements in the city prior to his arrest."

Megamind huffed; they were supposed to be discussing him. Who cared about that washed-up lizard? He was content enough for the thug to be off the streets; that they didn't credit him stung, but he'd not kicked up a fuss, wanting to be done with the whole ordeal.

"If by altercation you mean I had him just about gift-wrapped for them, then yes." Megamind changed the subject before she could get on another tangent. "None of that is important. Ask me what my intentions are in the city."

She looked up at him from her writing, a queer look on her face.

"What are your intentions with the city?"

Megamind grinned, having rehearsed this bit.

"Oh, Roxanne, I'm so glad you asked."

Her voice chimed in, breaking his stride.

"My name's Clarissa."

Right, old habits. He didn't let that trip him up.

"As I was saying, I'm so glad you asked. You see, I, Megamind." He stood up from his seat quickly. Too quickly, as he banged his head on the roof. He rubbed his noggin for a second before standing hunched over with hands on his hips. "Will take full control of the city, ousting any-"

He slammed into the side of the van.

"Sorry!"

Minion yelled from the front. Megamind was about to rebuke him when a coil zapped him. He stumbled back into his seat, gripping the sides so as not to be thrown.

"Where was-"

"Oh! I see a bagel shop up ahead. What do you say, sir?"

He could have sworn he'd given Minion explicit instructions that his would be a quiet part today.

"I could go for one if you're buying." The reporter added, somehow being more interested in the prospect of food than what he had to say.

"No, we're on a schedule here." He heartlessly shot down the request. His stomach chose that point to rumble. "Excuse the engine; it's noisy at times."

"Fine," she said with a disappointed tinge in her voice. "You want to take over the city?"

"Yes." He touched his nose before pointing at her. "That." Realizing he'd fallen back into charade night rules, he retracted his hand and regained an imposing demeanor. "I will single handily."

"Cough," Minion said from the front.

"I will mostly single-handedly." He waited for any protest and continued when there was none. "Take over the city and install myself as evil overlord. Any questions?" There was no movement of the pen, and she looked at him with a hanging jaw. "Are you writing this down?"

The woman shook her head, scribbling something.

"If you wanted my A game, you should have gotten me a bagel. Or picked me up after I got my coffee." He filed that away. "Is that why you took Canary? To amplify her powers with your tech and master the city."

Hardly. Something like that would never…

Megamind stopped to consider it. Technically, that was very much possible. Her powers were diminished when played over speakers, but he'd designed ones capable of transmitting most of the effects for her campus debut. If he just pumped out more surveillance bots and rigged them with such speakers, he could blanket the city.

There was one problem with that.

It was boring.

"No, Canary has a different part to play."

Again, this was supposed to be about him.

"Can you comment on what that part is?"

He let out a frustrated groan. She had a supervillain right in front of her, and all she could ask was about other people?

It was an indictment on her to not recognize when greatness sat before her.

"I can," Megamind watched her hold the pen at the ready. "But I won't."

Honestly, what part of 'villain' did she not understand?

"Then can you comment on the speculated relationship between Triumph and her?"

He'd looked into that and asked the girl herself, there was nothing there. He supposed the question did line up with the woman's hobby.

"Don't you have something better to ask? Like how I'm going to take control of the city? Or what type of conditioner I use to get my scalp this shiny?"

It was his own concoction in fact. Not for sale.

A beeping erupted from his watch. It was an alert he set up for emergencies. He tapped away, seeing what the problem was.

Scheduling a meeting this early! Those fiends!

He hadn't even gotten to the good stuff. Oh well, he had a backup.

Megamind thrust a pamphlet in her hand.

"That's a little Q&A I wrote about myself. Feel free to quote it. Now I expect this to be published by the evening."

She visibly balked at that.

"Do you know what kind of turnaround that is?"

He was intimately familiar with the workings of news agencies. Roxxane would have taken the challenge in stride.

"Yes, I do. You'll get it done." He took on a menacing tone. "Or else, an entire office may soon learn about your side writing."

She looked at him in challenge.

"My blog was cleared by my boss."

He wasn't referring to that thing. No, he was referring to something more sensitive.

"Minion, a quote if you would." He'd not read it himself; it was too spicy for his taste.

"Let's see here." There was the ruffling of papers as Minion grabbed what they'd printed out. "Oliver's smooth-"

"Okay! I get it!" She yelled in an agitated manner. No doubt panicked at the thought of an entire office learning of her smut writing. "But, still. Don't you realize it's the first of-"

He interrupted, conscious every second counted.

"The month, yes. I want it to be the first big story of the month, which is why it's imperative you get it out today. Your boss just got added to a meeting starting in the next five minutes. Run to his office and secure a feature space before that. We're on a strict schedule!"

Fortunately, they were about to pull up to her office.

"Bu-"

"No buts!" The van halted, and he swung the door open. Firing a destroy at her seatbelt, he pushed her out. "Remember, or else!"

He made sure to give an 'I'm watching you' gesture before slamming the door shut.

Minion didn't immediately pull away, peeking his head through the curtain.

"Boss, I think she was trying to say it might not be well received because it's April Fools."

Megamind gave a genuine laugh.

"Silly, Minion. How could you possibly think anyone would take me as a joke?"