There were over a hundred different things he could be doing right now; each of them more productive and important than standing guard.

But he was a villain of his word, at least when that word was given to a budding villain.

That didn't change this being dreadfully boring.

Megamind was on overwatch, essential babysitting. Canary and her minions were responsible for the actual operation, for what little that amounted to. With how they were outfitted he might as well write them off if they were taken down by third-rate goons. Even calling them that would be generous in his book.

From the cries and commotion he'd picked up over the night wind, his thoughts were not misplaced.

He was sitting on Spider Bot, perched on a building overlooking the soon-to-be out-of-business brothel. There was no attempt at concealment, he was hoping to goad what was left of the ABB to go after him and put a bow on this whole affair.

Or he was, this was the second day and there hadn't been a peep from their side.

"Should we start spray painting again?" Minion asked by his side, shaking a paint can.

"It won't hurt," Megamind gave tacit, if unenthusiastic approval. "But there's something different with that Oni Lee. I have a hunch that approach won't work."

The cape came across as the no-nonsense type. Megamind even doubted what satisfaction could be gained from besting him, but that wouldn't stop him from working to cross the name off his list.

He found himself hoping something would happen. An explosion, a car chase, some daring attack.

Anything.

"Hey you," A belligerent voice yelled from the street. Megamind sat up and peered over the edge to see a vaguely familiar silhouette. "Megacheapskate, come on down I got a bone to pick with you."

The boy wore a loose-fitting shirt that reminded him of old movies. His face was covered by a full face mask, something akin to what he'd expect to see in a masquerade. In his hands was a rod of some sort. This one was from the Undersiders, they'd briefly met when he confronted Lung.

Emperor? Ruler? No, Regent.

"I'm sorry who?" He stood fully and leaned forward with both arms braced on the Spider Bot's cab. "I think this is a case of mistaken identity. I'm Megamind." He spoke slowly and enunciated carefully to make sure there was no confusion. "Supervillain genius! I've never heard of this Megacheapskate you speak of."

Did he have a copycat of some sort? That had never happened. He'd need to track them down and show him there was only room for one Mega villain in this town.

"He's an asshole. Does shit like not paying for his own WiFi."

"Well, that's understandable." It wouldn't stop Megamind from teaching him a lesson or two but that would be over naming convention and not something paltry like stealing an internet connection. "Those rates are far too high and the contracts confusing." Not to him of course, but to lesser minds they could pose a problem. "Unlimited internet should mean unlimited. Setting an arbitrary cap for the amount you can download and then reducing your speed to a fraction of before until the billing cycle renews is ridiculous. When I created a device to spontaneously turn all licorice in Metrocity to black licorice I meant ALL licorice. Not a couple of blocks worth with the rest of it changing over the coming months."

Megamind finished in a huff. If he were perfectly honest, he actually appreciated being foiled that time. It sounded like an appropriately villainous idea in theory but halfway through he realized he didn't like black licorice either. He couldn't very well back out at that point so he'd pushed through with his usual flair and Metroman didn't disappoint.

"What's wrong with black licorice?" The terribly confused cape asked with a tilt of his head. "Actually, never mind. That sounds funny. Do that here and I'll let you off."

When he said 'anything' he didn't mean arguing with a teenager.

"Let me off? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?" Was he hard of hearing or blind? Maybe it was a case of bad memory because clearly, he did not remember Lung's takedown very well. "Go and find that Megacheapstake for me. If you do, maybe I'll consider doing it."

Megamind subtly crossed his fingers.

"Psst," Minion whispered from the side, having been observing the conversation. "Sir I think he might be talking about-"

Regent's loud voice cut off his minion.

"So basically you're offering to do me a favor if I find this Megacheapstake for you?"

No, he had Brain Bots he could put on the task. He really just wanted the annoying figure out of his scalp. The Undersiders were a curiosity but he had his hands full with Canary. If they were older maybe he'd entertain debating the intricacies of villainy but these were a group of teenage miscreants at best.

"If you want to put it like that go ahead, now stop wasting my time."

Regent pointed the rod towards him. Megamind braced himself for an attack that never came.

"What?" He asked after a period of silence.

"Dude." Regent twirled the rod and finished by crossing his arms. "You're the asshole."

He'd been called much worse things in the past but those names had been hard earned. Megamind didn't need to stoop so low as to take credit for what an imposter had done.

"Am not."

"Are to."

"Prove it."

"We have your search history. Do you really want to play this game?"

"Ha, as if you could use that to threaten me. Go ahead an-" His voice was muffled as Minion clamped a hand over his mouth and pulled him back.

"Sir, just a thought but maybe we should believe him?" Minion spoke in a low voice, they were situated in the back of the cab and out of Regent's line of sight. "I mean according to the map we are close to each other."

He pulled the hand away, freeing himself.

"You worry too much Minion," Megamind watched Minion's form fidget nervously and he rolled his eyes. "Fine, we'll humor him. But let me handle this."

He patted him on the shoulder before moving back to the edge of the cab to find the cape still waiting below.

"For argument's sake, let's say I did do that. What exactly is your plan here." Megamind scanned the rest of the street, there was no sign of any of the other Undersiders. "You do realize I have a turret pointed at you." At his words, Spider Bot waggled the turret that had long since been trained on the cape. "And you're surrounded."

Brain Bots slinked out of the corners to make their presence known, the street suddenly filling with with the clanging of their jaws.

"Cool," Regent was unperturbed, idly commenting as if watching a weather report. "Make me a taser. But like a super taser. I want to be able to knock Alexandria on her ass."

The complete disregard for his situation caught Megamind off guard and he turned to his minion.

"I'm not hallucinating, right? We have the upper hand here. Don't we?"

It felt like they did but it wouldn't be the first time he'd drastically misread the situation.

Minion closed his eyes and seemed to be counting to himself silently. Megamind waited patiently until his minion was done with whatever calculations he was doing.

"We do." Minion declared with the utmost confidence, only to have it quickly crumble. "Maybe. We've been surprised before."

Yes, but those were almost exclusively against Metorman. This was a teenager in tights.

"Guess you're going to force my hand then."

Regent waved the rod and Megamind's hand went to his belt, pausing when nothing happened. There was a pregnant pause and Megamind looked to Minion who shrugged.

"Okay, let's try this again." Regent gestured with his hand and Megamind felt his eye twitch in response. "I swear this never happens."

"Spider Bot," Megamind said simply. The turret thrummed, sending a bolt at the cape who managed to fall back in time. "Aga-"

"Time out?" Regent sat on his ass holding two hands out in the universal time-out sign. "Oh, shit. That actually worked."

Megamind had placed his hand on the turret, telling Spider Bot to hold fire.

"That's your one time out. Minion, start the timer."

"Can do sir." Minion reached for his wrist and clicked something, watching the seconds tic down intently.

Megamind had never applied the rules for combating villains but it felt fair to do so.

"I changed my mind," Regent pointed slightly below them, at Spider Bot. "Give me one of those instead."

Did he have brain damage? He was still surrounded and armed with a stick.

"Are you okay? Have you suffered any traumatic injuries to the head recently?"

Regent got up, dusting himself and staring at the darkened pavement in front of him. A debilitate wasn't designed to cause inanimate objects harm but scaled up to this size there would be some effects.

"Dude, I'm all traumatic injuries. But seriously, I want one of those."

Megamind admired confidence. He counted it as one of his defining traits. The ability to forge ahead and continuously face the mountain that was Metroman with a grin on his face.

But.

He tended to have Minion by his side and a mechanical army at their front. This was…well he wasn't sure how to classify it. Was there such a thing as too much confidence? He was surprised at having to ask himself the question.

"So is that a yes?

In complete defiance of the present situation, Regent pressed on.

"To be absolutely clear. You do realize I can atomize you in seven different ways?"

It was more than that but there was no reason to be pedantic.

"Sure, I mean I'll take your word for it. But if you do then Tats was wrong so it's a win-win for me."

Tats? They must have been a truly vile being for him to want to spite them so much.

"I'm not giving you a Spider Bot."

Regent did not strike him as a responsible mechanical arachnid owner.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"Aww come on. Do you know how much my K/D has suffered because of your mooching? The least you can do is give me a robot."

Megamind said a silent apology to Canary. If the alternative was dealing with this he'd gladly accomodate a few of her whims.

"I'll get another connection then." He hadn't for convenience's sake but he could spare a couple of hours to get a physical connection. "Now shoo, I'm busy…" He trailed off, realizing he wasn't busy. "Doing things. Evil things. You understand, I hope."

With the worst timing imaginable, Canary's minions exited the building leading several women to their van. Some of them looked his way and he waved them to signal they could continue with what they were doing.

"It looks like you're helping rescue sex workers, that's like one of the least evil things you could be doing."

The R word came up and he was rightfully embarrassed to be on the other side of the equation. He added a note to have the Brain Bots carry some manner of large tarp they could drape in front of the building next time. Out of sight out of mind as they said.

"That's Canary's side objective. This is all bait to draw out Oni Lee." It was a weak defense and he knew it. "And what do you know of villainy?"

Did this kid think he could school him on what counted as villainous and not? He could write a book! Maybe he should at this rate.

"I know a thing or two, you could say I was born into it."

That was an interesting statement however Megamind doubted whatever he'd been taught was correct.

An obnoxious ringtone sounded and Regent reached into his pocket.

"Gotta take this," He said, clicking the receiver and holding the phone a little bit away from his ear. "Oh, I'm just out for a walk." Regent held the phone a little further away and mimed with his free hand in a mocking way. "What I can't take walks now? Wait. Really? Motherfucker. Do I have to? Right, right, stop yelling. I'll be there."

Regent hung up the phone and looked at the pair staring at him incredulously from above.

"There room for a third on there? I need a ride."

—

"What's thi-"

Megamind slapped the offending hand away from the dash.

"Don't touch that." Against his better judgment, he was giving the brash cape a ride in the Megamobile. "If you must touch something, touch that one."

"You mean the one that says passenger eject seat? I'm going to not do that."

Drat, he shouldn't have labeled them.

Regent was currently seated by his side with Minion hanging off the back of the vehicle. He'd left Spider Bot with Canary in case she ran into trouble. The Brain Bots had been split between them. They couldn't keep pace with the Megamobile's top speed but their ability to fly roughly equalized their time to travel.

"So your teammate bit off more than she could chew?"

Regent snorted in response, his arm hanging out the window catching the wind.

"Bitch is a loose cannon. Grue and Tats have tried to get her to chill but the second dogs come up she sees red and charges straight ahead. She's a total nutjob." He wasn't paying a rosy picture of his teammate and Megamind began to consider whether or not this was a trap. "But she's loyal. So when she steps in shit we gotta pull her out. I mean, that's what you do. Right?"

Megamind didn't bother responding. The answer was obviously 'yes', even if he wouldn't put it quite like that.

Cracks in the night signaled they were nearing their destination.

Shadows ran through the streets, several of them stumbling provoking a chuckle from his passenger.

Skidding to a stop near the nondescript warehouse. There was a van left running in the loading dock; the garage door busted open in a way to obscure their sight. From behind it, he could hear a cacophony of cries, yelps, and barks.

"This is my stop." Regent popped the door open and stretched upon stepping onto the pavement. "Do me a favor and shoot any moving metal dogs you see. That's out of my pay grade."

With his piece said, Regent waltzed towards the mangled door and slipped through.

"Should we go with him?"

Minion asked. He'd released his hold on the Megamobile and was crouching near the driver's door while looking to the warehouse in question.

"We came all the way here." Megamind didn't have to think for long, swinging the door open. "Let's see what this so-called Empire has to offer."

They weren't exactly a priority but this was better than babysitting. If he was lucky maybe Purity would make a showing.

"Minion." The single word was enough for his partner to step forward. Arms held wide, Minion grasped the remains of the door. Metal screeched as he crumbled it piece by piece, reducing it to the size of a yoga ball.

The interior was cramped. Three sets of bleachers had been stuffed inside, behind them sat cages whose canine occupants were the source of the racket. In the center was a crude ring formed out of crowd barriers, several now toppled.

Most had cleared out but he could still several people still struggling to get away. Some had the poor sense to charge his way and were rewarded by quick shots of debilitate.

To his disappointment, there wasn't an ongoing fight.

Regent stood in the ring, growling creatures warding him off. Flesh and bone sagged on their forms, sloshing off in bits.

"Bitch," Regent, without inflection in his voice, addressed a girl sitting against one of the barriers. "Call them off."

The sight of her made Megamind pause in his approach.

A bloodied mask was clutched in her hand. The red liquid ran down from a gash in her head, matting hair against her face. Her arm was slashed, hastily bandaged with a scrap of fabric. Those weren't the largest issue, no that would be the bolt sticking out from her gut.

Her eyes looked around groggily, threatening to shut at any moment.

That didn't look healthy.

"Uh, sir?"

Minion's voice brought him back to the present and he elbowed his minion's side.

"Minion, talk to them."

They could fight the creatures but that seemed unsporting at this juncture.

"I'm a fish, I don't speak dog"

Sometimes it felt like he needed to do everything. His hands, usually steady, fumbled for a second reaching for his belt.

"Regent, catch." Megamind tossed the translator and Regent looked up a second too late, the object hitting him in the head. "Speak into it."

With all the ruckus coming from the cages he was finding it difficult to concentrate.

"Damn." Regent picked up the object while rubbing his hand. "Mangy mutts, get out of the way. Unless you want her to bleed out."

The creatures reared back and Megamind thought the boy was about to be mauled when they parted, allowing Regent passage.

Regent, in Megamind's opinion, was entirely too slow in reaching his stricken teammate. The cape crouched by her side, putting fingers on her neck and inspecting her wound. He stood, his costume now stained with the crimson ichor.

"Yeah, she's fucked." His voice was steady and Megamind stuck a finger in his ear to check for any wax build-up. "Shame, she was our muscle."

Regent didn't make any moves to stop the bleeding or call for help, simply standing and looking down at his alleged partner.

"What do you mean? Aren't you going to help her?"

He stepped forward, stopping short of the girl who seemed to attempt a snarl at him.

Why wasn't he doing anything? It didn't even sound like he cared. What was going on?

"Huh? Didn't you hear me?" Regent shook his head in what Megamind suspected was meant to convey pity. It did not sit right with him. "She's fucked, losing way too much blood. Trying to move her will only make it worse. Her fault really for not backing down."

"But, but she's your teammate?" Megamind glanced at Minion, seeing a troubled expression on him. "Your partner."

When he first arrived, Megamind had been prepared to leave Minion but that was a wholly different scenario. He'd still believe he was in Metrocity and Minion was in no real danger. But in this world? If Minion were to….no. He refused to even consider that

"Yep, sucks. Not sure how we're going to kill a ward but I'll let Tats figure that out."

His brow furrowed while trying to process the information. All this noise…can't they all be quiet?

"A ward? A hero?

What did a junior hero have to do with any of this? Moreover, why was he still just standing there? Did this place have proper ventilation? He was beginning to feel woozy.

"Check the bolt, that's Shadow Stalker's. She's been trying to pin the Grue for a while now, guess she settled for Bitch. Damn, getting her is going to be a pain but we kinda have to."

A hero was trying to kill…

Megamind clutched his stomach, its contents churning. Was the room spinning? The exhaust from the truck must have been filling the warehouse with toxic fumes. It felt like he was suffocating. What was going on…

A weight settled on his back and he startled at the contact, trying to steady his heart as he realized it was only his Minion.

"What do you want to do, sir?"

He wanted to go home.

The girl sputtered, proving there was still life in her.

This was when a hero was supposed to fly down and rescue her. Metroman would have delivered her instantly to a world-class hospital. He looked up towards the patchy ceiling, the unfamiliar night sky peeking through. He took two steps back, he didn't want to be in the way of debris when they burst through after all. Snippets of conversations he'd overheard from Canary's minions came rushing to his head.

No one was coming.

"Boss!"

He wasn't a healer. He wasn't a hero.

Something strange budded up within him. He couldn't place it.

There were a lot of things he wasn't, a lot of things he could never be.

But he was here.