"Minion!" Megamind was sure the watch was transceiving properly. "I know you can hear me. What did you do? I promise I won't be upset."

The van he was in bucked at a sharp turn, and he pushed further into the seat to avoid being thrown around. There were rails to hold onto as well, but doing so with crossed fingers proved challenging.

"Sir?" There was a crackling sound on the other end. It sounded more like crumpled paper instead of static. "Sir, you're breaking up. Can you hear me?"

He checked the watch again, as a matter of course.

"Yes, I can-"

Megamind didn't get a chance to finish, Minion's voice coming through again.

"We're-" There was that crumbling again. "Going through a tunnel. Don't worry, we're all okay!"

There was some brief yelling in the background before the feed cut off.

"Brockton Bay doesn't have any tunnels," his driver said with a strange mixture of hostility and dryness.

Megamind was about to correct him out of habit when Tattletale butted in an agitated fashion.

"I wasn't talking about him. And did you have to remind me? Do you have any idea how many targeted ads I got about signing up for National Geographic? Just yesterday I got one trying to sell me a snorkeling trip in the Caribbean!"

To his confusion, she was staring daggers at him. Was the Caribbean that bad? It would wreak havoc on someone with his complexion, but he knew many people liked to travel down there.

"Minion, you could be under a hundred meters of rock and come through crystal clear. Now, what is she talking about? Don't you lie to me." Megamind wagged a finger in reprimand; it couldn't be seen but he hoped the intent was somehow conveyed. There was silence on the other hand and he brought out his trump card. "Since you can't hear me, you won't mind if I tell you what happens to Cassandra in-"

"What!" Minion yelled in a panic. "No! No spoilers!"

Megamind had none to give; he'd only picked the name that had come up the most whenever Minion was angrily typing into a computer.

"Ahaha," Megamind pointed in the general direction of where Minion should be. "That's what you get for implying something I made doesn't work as advertised."

He heard Minion clear his throat on the other end and knew he would not enjoy the follow-up.

"Need I remind you of the TV, which still fizzles out at points?"

Out of all the gregarious examples Megamind had conveniently pretended to have forgotten, Minion chose this.

"How many times are you going to parade that around? I told you, it's the transmitter, not the receiver." He was getting tired of explaining it so many times; Minion just didn't seem to understand. "Wait, don't distract me. I already asked you a question!"

"But sirrrrrr," Minion's voice came out almost strangled and he continued in a whisper. "There are children here."

Megamind's arm extended quickly to avoid the shrill voice that came through next; at the same time, he lowered the volume to save his ears from further torment.

"Who the fuck are you calling a child!? Stop gossiping and start throwing shit at the bucket-wearing dickhead chasing us!"

"What did we say about using that type of lang-" There was the cracking sound of thunder. "Uh, still fine! But gotta go for a second."

The feed cut off, leaving him to the hum of the engine. There was a momentary pang of worry, but Minion had fought Dauntless before and came out alright. He tapped away on his watch, sending orders for half of the surviving Brain Bots to break off and assist Minion.

"What were you saying about Minion's search history?"

Tattletale, who'd stayed silent during the exchange, regarded him with a pained look on her face. She let her head tilt down, her dark blonde hair concealing part of her face for a moment. When she lifted it, her eyes were sharp again.

"We are NOT talking about that, and I'm not explaining why. You're lucky I'm not sending you a bill for pain and suffering." There was what he thought might be a snort, and she shot the driver a dirty look before turning back to Megamind. "What I'm trying to say is I know you're not from this earth."

She had an expectant look on her face, and seconds ticked away. Did she lose her train of thought?

"Yes, and?" He asked quizzically, wondering what she was getting at.

Her eyes roamed him, and with a huff, she blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"You weren't even trying to hide it. Because of course you weren't." She turned back to look at the road for a moment before addressing him again. "Well, I also know you can't get home."

Had he been driving, he would have slammed on the brakes just then. In lieu of that, he used his words.

"Oh, I can't, can I?" He crossed his arms and raised his chin, looking to the side. "I'll have you know the model is made and will be tested any day now."

Ha! Who did she think she was telling him what he couldn't do? He laughed in the face of his countless naysayers, in this case, Tattletales'.

"Then why haven't you tested it yet?"

It was a simple question, one he very much did not appreciate.

"I'm getting there," he said in an imperious tone, not deigning to look at her and merely waving a hand in her direction. "It's a process; I wouldn't expect someone as small-minded as you would understand."

Her lips pulled back in a facsimile of a smile.

"I understand," she drew the word out in a nasty tone. "That you're lying to yourself. You don't think it's going to work. You've been flailing around in the dark since you arrived. You're going from idea to idea, latching on to anything that makes sense and then hoping you don't screw it up. You know, like you always-"

"Tats." Grue elbowed the girl, gesturing to the road where some of his Brain Bots could be seen keeping pace; the van was nowhere near as fast as the Megamobile. "I shouldn't be the one calling you off."

Megamind's eyes narrowed. He didn't need her to finish; he knew how it ended.

He hadn't been stalling, not exactly. But he had been taking more precautions than needed. Every time he was about to proceed, he'd find something new to look at, something new to justify the timeline extension.

Those excuses he told himself? She'd just torn the cover off of them, revealing reality to him in all its uglyness.

Sure, or not, a decision solidified in his heart.

Certain failure? Maybe. No, probably! But who would he be if he let that stop him? Not Megamind, that was for sure.

"Right," Tattletale rubbed her shoulder and looked dissatisfied with her partner before continuing. "Point is, you're in luck. Ever heard of Professor Haywire? No? Well, quick story, he is, or was, a tinker who specialized in portals that connected other dimensions. He bit the dust a while ago, and all his shiny toys got boxed up, squirreled away by the powers that be."

The news was a slight shock to him, that someone had been able to accomplish dimensional travel before him. Professor Haywire… the name alone gave credence to her claims; it screamed maniacal genius. That being said, he still found the whole thing difficult to believe.

"And that's supposed to help me? How? I'm perfectly capable of figuring it out myself."

He shoved down the doubts he felt, as far as they could go. If this Professor Haywire had succeeded, then Megamind refused to believe he wouldn't be able to do so.

"You know that's not true; are you really going to turn down a chance like this?"

Megamind pondered for a moment; a blueprint to work on would be useful… but no. He needed to do it himself.

"Yes-"

"Never mind," Tattletale cut in before his refusal could be made final. "Table that. Right now, we have a common enemy. Hookwolf will probably be captured, but you can bet the Empire will have more than enough weight left to go after the both of us. We all know how useless the heroes are, so they'll be zero help. We have a common enemy, wouldn't you agree?"

No, he wouldn't. Purity was still going to be dealt with, but calling the group his enemies was a bit too flattering for them.

Annoyances or nuances, those terms fit better. Still, he had claimed the city…

Megamind cringed internally at the memory. He hadn't planned on making such a commitment, but he couldn't go back now. That meant he would have to deal with them; he wasn't one to share after all.

"Let's say, for argument's sake, we do. What then?"

Megamind didn't see the value the callous group of thieves would bring to such an endeavor.

"You'll need intelligence." Tattletale opened in a more diplomatic tone. "That's something we have in spades. You did well in the docks, but downtown is a different animal. Your drones and other sources of information are going to be far more conspicuous. I can tell you where and when to strike."

That phrasing rubbed him the wrong way, and that was enough justification in his mind.

"Not interested," he said plainly while inspecting his nails; it was a tough thing to do with his gloves still on.

A strange noise came from Tattletale, but she wasn't the one to respond.

"Then we stay out of each other's way," Grue's deep voice rumbled across the van. "Coordinate attacks if we can."

Hmm, well, it would be inconvenient to be tripping over each other constantly.

"I can work with that," he agreed with only a slight bit of reluctance. "We can swap pho handles."

"Don't bother, Grue," Tattletale preempted a comment from her partner and massaged her head before sinking into her seat. "And before I forget, I'm not an actual mind reader. So you can take off the stupid helmet."

He kept it on, just in case.

—

"This ain't a fucking clubhouse."

Trainwreck was not particularly amused at the trainyards being used as their rendezvous.

Megamind had been content enough to hand Bitch over at the lair, but Grue had voiced a significant amount of apprehension about that. Something about visiting a tinker's lab being hazardous for one's health. Megamind maintained it was 90% safe, excluding the booby traps, those he remembered.

The trainyards were decided as a sort of neutral ground; they'd picked an area on the edge of it, but Trainwreck had found them easily enough. It had been a close thing, but the cape had eased up once catching sight of him.

Trainwreck had perched himself on the back of a rusted car, the entire vehicle deforming under his weight and creating a crude armchair. Megamind himself was in the center, tapping his foot and occasionally checking his watch. Grue had taken position against the stolen van, leaning against it and keeping an eye on both of them. Tattletale could be seen a little ways off, taking a phone call.

Headlights shone in the distance, gaining the attention of all.

"We'll be out of your hair as soon as our partner gets here," Grue said while eyeing the truck that was pulling up. "Our other one. Ignore whatever Regent says; there's nothing of substance there anyway."

The vehicle that had just finished parking was familiar; it was the one outside of the dog-fighting rink he'd intruded on.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"I don't have hair, asshole," Trainwreck grumbled.

Megamind had failed to notice in the dim light, but now that it was pointed out, the man had shaved his head bald. He nodded in approval; it was a large improvement from the greasy strands that had plagued the top of his head before.

"Sheesh, all this for me?" Regent hopped out of the truck, the trio of dogs soon following. His gaze stopped on Grue, or what was behind him. "Oh, sweet. We got a new van."

"You're late," Grue noted while kicking off of the van. "And we're not keeping it."

The dogs had begun to inspect the area. One of them, a shepherd of some type, trotted up to him. Its head was low to the ground, and it approached cautiously. Megamind eyed the dog warily; that breed was a favorite of the police, and he'd been on the other end of its chase often enough.

His attempts to shoo it away had the opposite effect, and it began to sniff at his boots.

"Yeah, I got dibs on that."

Trainwreck had demanded it for the usage of his 'territory'; no one saw fit to fight for it. To his dismay, the dog began to sniff at the hand holding his prize of the night. He lifted the hand in question to bring it out of reach, and the dog backed up before sitting on its haunches, staring at it intently.

"Okay, fine. But bring it back." Megamind tossed the damaged weapon into the distance.

The dog giving chase was expected, the Brain Bots joining in less so. He'd let that work itself out. Megamind wasn't worried about the piece suffering any more abuse; it was a sturdy piece of tech. If not for his precise and continued attacks, it would not have incurred a break. He hadn't dove too much into it yet, only doing enough to make sure any trackers were deactivated.

"Wow, thanks for handling dozens of slobbering mutts, Regent," the masked cape said sarcastically, sauntering up without a care in the world. "Seriously, do you have any idea how much work I did? I'm going to be smelling of dog piss for a week."

"Yours weren't made of metal." Done with her call, Tattletale had rejoined them. "Also, hand it over."

She stuck a hand out towards her teammate expectantly. Regent shrugged in response, tossing over his universal communicator.

Megamind had forgotten he'd lent it to the man in the first place. Tattletale raised it to her mouth, pressing the button.

"Ignore everything this idiot told you to do." She addressed the two remaining dogs and then walked over to Megamind, handing it over. "Don't give him any more toys; he's lucky we let him have that taser." She shot a glance at Grue and explained. "It talks to dogs. I'm not giving myself a bigger headache by figuring out exactly what he told them, but I guarantee it was stupid."

Regent laughed shamelessly, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Why do you have to be such a killjoy? It would have been great."

Megamind doubted either of them understood how the translator worked. It conveyed intent, but it didn't alter the other party's intelligence. There was a limit to what it would be able to accomplish.

The Undersiders fell into bickering, and he directed his attention to other matters. He thought back on his encounter with Armsmaster, specifically about tinkers.

"Trainwreck," The man's goggles turned towards him inquisitively. "Do you actually know what you're doing?"

The goggles turned toward the Undersiders, still in animated discussion. He leaned in, his yellow teeth bared to the world.

"Fuck no," he said in a low voice. "I take it day by day."

Megamind was quick to realize he'd been misunderstood.

"I meant, tech-wise. Do you understand what you're building?"

"Oh, that." He shook his head, going back to his original, reclined position. "Nah, shit pops into my head. Sometimes I get in a haze, and when I'm out, shit's done. Power bullshit."

Armsmaster hadn't been lying about that then… interesting. Either all tinkers were idiot savants, or the knowledge was coming from something.

Still, as intriguing as that was, he found himself drawn more to Trainwreck's original meaning.

"Back to what you said, what about all that stuff you told me?"

The man huffed, a bark of laughter leaving his lips.

"Made it all up. Woke up butt-ass naked about a month ago without any idea of how I got here or where here was. Hell, I still barely got an idea of what's going on."

That…was everything he'd been told a lie? Well, no. Trainwreck may have made it up, but he'd been close to the truth. The heroes only cared about their image, not about actual heroics.

"And you're okay with that," Megamind asked, having trouble reconciling the words with the man's at-ease appearance.

Trainwreck gestured for him to get closer and Megamind acquiesced.

"Listen," Trainwreck's whisper brought with it hints of the man's dinner. Whatever it was had far too much onion. "I don't know much, but what I do know is..." He paused and Megamind leaned further in. "No one knows shit. They're all making up as they go. We're all just pretending cause we don't want to look like clueless jackasses."

Was that really the case? Was everyone lost? He didn't know how to feel about that. There wasn't a chance to ponder that as, in the night sky, a scattering of red and blue lights appeared.

Minion and Bitch traveled through the air, their arms outstretched and held aloft by Brain Bots.

"Oh yeah," Regent took out his phone, and the flash soon went off. "Definitely posting that later."

Grue walked up and roughly seized the phone, holding the man at a distance with one hand as he deleted the picture.

"I'm not letting you post a picture with Bitch looking like a drowned puppy," he said, dropping the phone on the ground once he was finished.

She did look rather tired. Her head was held low, her hair matted to her skin with sweat.

"Mission accomplished, sir!" Minion announced, the Brain Bots releasing him and allowing him to impact the earth. He gave a big thumbs-up before walking over with a large smile on his face. "How was your fight? I can't believe I missed it! You'll have to tell me all about it."

Megamind inspected his Minion's condition. Everything looked to be in place, with no missing limbs or significant scrapes to speak of. There did seem to be some charred fur, but that was a simple replacement.

"Informative and cathartic, in a sense. I'll give you the play-by-play later."

Bitch struggled out of the Brain Bots' grasp as she caught sight of her dogs; they awaited her arrival with a mixture of whines and yelps. A whistle brought them to heel, and she freed herself, falling from a few meters with a grunt. Quickly, she inspected both of them before her head swiveled across the clearing.

"Judas!" She bellowed, still searching.

She didn't have to wait for long as the dog leaped over a pile of scrap, the weapon in its mouth. He dropped it upon seeing it and ran dutifully to her side. Seeing her charges safe, tension seemed to seep from her frame.

To his surprise, Megamind found the action relatable.

He gave a sharp whistle to the two Brain Bots currently fighting over the weapon and pointed at a third, motioning for it to take possession of it.

"I can't wait," Minion nodded along. Standing with his hands on his hips and looking at the odd gathering. "Did I miss anything else important?"

Megamind brought his hand to his chin, stroking his goatee.

"Oh right." He snapped his fingers, the thought almost escaping him. "I claimed the city."

It was a tomorrow problem.

"That's great!" Minion enthused, doing a twirl in his bowl before getting a funny expression on his face. "But what about Metro City?"

"Metrocity, and there's no rule saying I'm limited to one city."

He wasn't planning on keeping the city to begin with.

"That makes sense."

As a proper Minion, Minion was able to take his declaration with stride.

"Hey," Grue spoke up. The Undersiders had converged around the truck. "We're heading out. And we owe you one."

Hmm? He thought the group was still upset about that WiFi appropriation. Were they trying to get his guard down? They were somewhat in competition now. Not that he would see it as such.

While the rest made moves to depart, Bitch remained rooted.

"Thanks," she said in a hoarse voice. "Sorry about the nose."

Her piece said, she turned sharply and loaded into the back of the truck with her dogs. Megamind clutched his stomach, a tingly feeling coming over him. He hoped he hadn't caught some bug.

"Fuck, I should have recorded that." Regent kicked the ground before following after. Tattletale shot him one last look and took the passenger seat, giving him an unreadable expression.

The truck came to life and soon kicked up dust as it left them.

"Bye, drive safe!" Minion yelled after them, giving a wave. "Should we head out as well?"

It was about time they went back to the lair, Canary would need checking in on.

"Hold it." Metal lurched as Trainwreck shifted his seated position. He waved off Minion's reflective greeting. "You're taking the city?"

Right, Trainwreck had claimed part of it. This could get awkward, but he wouldn't back down.

"That's right."

Megamind gave a solid nod in confirmation; he didn't have his De-gun, but with Minion and the surviving Brain Bots, he would do just fine.

"Count me in."

He found the simple words difficult to parse.

"I'm sorry, care to repeat that." Megamind stuck a finger in his ear to check for wax, finding none. "What did you say?"

Trainwreck snorted, rising to his full height. Heavy steps brought him in front of Megamind, the suit releasing a bevy of hisses and whistles.

"I ain't saying it twice."

He was offering to help… why? Weren't they meant to be at odds now?

"Why?"

Trainwreck brought a palm up, removing the goggles and revealing his beady black eyes.

"Cause it's not too different from what I'm already doing and I'd rather deal with someone who looks me in the eyes." Megamind felt there was something being left out in that statement. "Besides, freaks like us, ain't no one else gonna give a shit about us but us."

He spat into his armored glove, holding it out.

Megamind stared at the hand. Freak, was it? Yes, he was a freak. He'd heard it many times before. For some reason, it sounded different now.

It struck a chord with him.

Megamind mirrored the man, clasping his glove and giving it a firm shake.

He wasn't sure what he was really agreeing to, but it felt right.

It felt good.

A flash went off, and he looked to the side, seeing Minion wave around a Polaroid.

"Don't mind me, just getting a souvenir for the scrapbook."

Megamind released a breath, shaking his head.

"By the way," Megamind spoke to the man whose hand he was still shaking. "To be clear, I absolutely know how my tech works and what I'm doing."

A bag of ice accompanied that hand for the rest of the night.