"This is a bad idea."

"Yes, exactly."

"No, you don't get it. I mean there are easier ways to get yourself killed. Ones that don't involve becoming barbecue."

They were seated around a table in the lair. It had been a few days since his decision and Harry claimed he finally brought what they'd requested. Megamind had been in the middle of replacing one of the Spider Mite's lenses when he heard the news and called an emergency meeting.

"Hah, Minion your minion is fairly dramatic."

Minion shrugged in a 'what can you do' manner.

"Fine, but I'm looting this place to the bedrock if you two kick it." Harry grumbled.

"Anyways, this is what you wanted." He reached into his pocket and produced a bundle. He unraveled it, revealing a map of the city.

Megamind dragged it closer. The Docks had been outlined and there were several types of markings on it. He could see in one of the corners a crude legend had been drawn up, showing what each symbol and color meant.

"This is…not what I expected." He admitted. Most of the markings were yellow, which indicated unconfirmed but there were enough red circles to give them an array of choices.

"No shit it is. Bet you expected me to come in with some scribbles on a napkin."

He was prepared for that eventuality.

"Past life I worked for the port authority. Was close to being a controller, those are the ones who control the bay traffic. It's the type of work where not being organized gets ships sunk, not that it helped any when the industry collapsed."

"I think the boss was more wondering about how you got all of this so quickly. We were always confident in your attention to detail. "

He most certainly wasn't.

Harry scoffed and leaned back with his arms crossed.

"Folk like me? We aren't liked but that's not the worst of it. It's that people don't want to think of us. They don't like to be reminded we exist, easier for them to live in a world where we don't. The gangers are no exception, they'll beat on us every now and then but for the most part we're just more trash on the side of the street. Cept these heaps of trash got eyes and ears. We ain't stupid, talking gets you killed. Whether it's to the cops or bangers. But to one of our own? To good old Harry? Harry who's been out here for over a decade? I'd never call those selfish bastards friends but we've known each other enough to have, what ya call it, a civil discussion. That is, as long as I got a couple of bucks or a can of food to spare."

"That was all very boring." Megamind studied the map while imparting vital criticism. "Never consider public speaking."

Not everyone was as gifted an orator as he.

"You did great Harry. I'm proud of you." Minion gently patted the man who muttered something under his breath and looked away. "So that I'm getting this right." Minion addressed him, peering at the map as well. "The plan is to beat this Lung guy and the rest of his group? Why do we need to worry about hitting these individual places? I'm sure if we walk around he'll show up."

"You think too simply Minion. It's not enough to defeat them. We need to craft a story, a narrative the city will bite hook, line, and sinker. One strong enough that they would have no choice but to form a parade in celebration."

"Story. Understood Sir. So, we're going to pretend to be heroes while taking them down?"

"Heavens no! That's crazy talk." Him? A hero? Even if it was pretend he shuddered at the thought. "We'll get a patsy, someone local to take the credit at the end. It doesn't matter who as long as they're loud about it. Of course, we'll record all of it and release the footage directly after the parade or even during it. It will make the bitterness of the day that much sweeter for us."

It wasn't just a brilliant plan. It was a test. Trainwreck's assertion that heroes held themselves accountable only when the cameras were rolling echoed in his head. If any hero were bold enough to claim credit for his work, he'd give the words more credence.

Upstaging a local 'villain' and cementing his brand was the cherry on top of the sundae of evil he was creating. A sundae would hit the spot right now and not in the metaphorical sense. Perhaps he should-

"This place looks good, why don't we start there." Minion pointed at a blue-marked location at the edge of the map.

Tasteful color aside, he shook his head.

"Blue is for affiliated. As fun as hitting a casino would be, we need something directly owned or operated by the abb."

"It's the ABB" Harry idly commented.

Minion and he shared a look of understanding. It seemed Harry never had a formal education if he was unable to recognize it was one word.

"Moving on." He'd let Minion handle Harry's instruction at a later date. "The public is one thing However, we have to make sure the abb itself knows who the villain responsible for their downfall is. To that effect, Minion did you get what I asked for?"

"I did and I think you'll be happy with the results, let me show you." Minion hurried out with a grin. He returned and dropped a large plastic bin next to the map. Megamind removed the lid and retrieved a stack from inside. Removing the shrink wrap he inspected one of the cards.

It was sturdy for its small size. Matte dark blue, one of the sides held a prominent M in a reflective black. Simple but bold!

"Excellent work Minion."

"I can't take all the credit sir. Sheryll at the printing company had some great suggestions, I'd never have been able to narrow down the color palate without her input."

Minion's words went in one ear and out the other. He didn't care so much for the details.

These calling cards of his would hopefully get the message across, if not he'd need to consider more drastic measures.

"I ain't trying to talk you out of it anymore." Harry grabbed a card himself and held it up to the light to get a better look. "but don't you think the cops are going to start asking questions if they find these cards everywhere the ABB gets busted?"

"You worry too much Harry, the boss has already thought this through."

"I have? I mean, yes I have. They're paper-based, right? I'll whip up a solution to coat them in, they'll be mush in a matter of hours after application."

Minion's smile faltered.

"Don't look too down Minion, just imagine the payoff in the end."

"I'll try sir. Do you mind if I keep some for my scrapbook?"

"Go ahead." He followed up quickly as Minion made to leave. "But do that later. I've reviewed the footage Spider Bot captured, we have some contingencies to go over. Then we'll talk about phase one."

"Phase one?"

Minion looked at him eagerly and Megamind's face split into a grin.

"We're going to make him mad."

Harry rose at his declaration.

"Right, you two have fun. I'm going to go call my Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor."

—

"This is going better than I thought." Minion said skeptically while looking around the small warehouse.

In the background, the sounds of groans could be heard from those who tried to stand against them. Cards had already been taped onto their foreheads.

Flashes continuously went off as dehydration guns fired, his Spider Mites dutifully collecting everything of value.

And some things of no value, he noted as the youngest collected a set of magazines featuring women too destitute to afford proper clothing.

He'd taken to storing everything it gave him in a separate pile.

"What did you expect Minion? They're not even proper villains so it goes without saying they don't have quality minions. If we were to even call them that, these don't deserve the title of minion."

Minion nodded in agreement.

"You can say that again sir."

He wouldn't, everyone heard him perfectly fine the first time.

After a short period of planning, scouting, and general preparations, the pair had set off to cause some damage. This was the fourth place they'd hit tonight. He'd been expecting a guest appearance by that Oni Lee fellow but he hadn't shown himself yet. The night did bring a welcome surprise in that the abb turned out to have rather sticky fingers. They'd soon learn his were far stickier.

His wrist beeped, the source being a digital watch. Its purpose, besides telling time, was to be a way for Spider Bot to alert him.

"Spider Mites, Minion!" He yelled while grabbing for a smoke bomb on his waist. It was the same design as the one used in the bank. "It looks like we might have a guest! Let's go greet him."

Minion ran towards his side, deploying his shield. The Spider Mites hopped excitedly and skittered out.

He followed after them, prepared to crush the ball at a second's notice. After watching the recording, he noticed a key detail about Oni Lee. Those teleportations were always from the front, with some being telegraphed by the movement of his head. Despite the mask covering Oni Lee's eyes, he was reasonably confident the power was based on line of sight.

That hypothesis would be tested today. If all went to plan, the smoke would reduce the range of Oni Lee's teleportation and the Spider Mites and Bot would be able to take accurate shots thanks to one of their optical lenses now providing them thermal imaging.

Stepping out into the deserted street, there was nothing out of the ordinary. He frowned. Had replacing one of its eyes messed with Spider Bot's regular vision?

"Maybe he hasn't gotten here just yet?" Minion supplied, little fish body turning in circles and seeing nothing.

"Yoo-hoo, Spider Bot" He waved his hands to catch his creation's attention, it was perched across the street on top of a building. "Where is Oni Lee? This better not be a hoax to get more scritches, we've talked about that!"

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

He'd worked hard to train that out of it.

It pointed in the distance, past the buildings it was on. He called it down and it clambered towards them, lowering its body enough so that they could all board. Spider Mites came along, gripping the hull.

He assumed manual control. The wind rushed through his aerodynamic scalp as they sprung through the air. Minion hooted in the other seat.

They landed gentler than one might expect, the shock absorbers working well. He studied the horizon, looking for signs of the man.

There was a bright light, zipping around in the sky. Was that what Spider Bot warned him about? It wasn't close but he supposed it was worth checking out.

Approaching, the cracks of gunfire could be heard. Now that they were closer, he could see the figure in the air much clearer.

That is what he'd like to have said.

Instead, the light was of such intensity that it was difficult to look at.

The target, his target, was able to be seen. Oni Lees appeared rapidly one after another, some even in mid-air. Explosions sounded, Megamind surmised it was from those grenades he was so fond of.

White light grew brighter for a moment before lashing out, tearing apart multiple clones. More came however their attacks had trouble reaching the flier.

With his target's attention occupied, now was the perfect time for an ambush.

"What flavor is this Minion? It's delicious." The seat had been reclined and his feet had been kicked up on the dash. He put another fistful of the previously dehydrated popcorn into his mouth.

"Caramel sir, I'll make sure it gets put back on the shopping list." Minion took out a small notepad from his fanny pack and scribbled a note. He pointed at the unknown cape. "The person he's fighting, is that one of the New Wave's heroes?"

"No? At least I don't think so. I had a good look at their roster. Most of them have lasers of some type but they're not colored white."

Minion let out a disappointed sound and Megamind patted him on the back.

"There'll be other opportunities. For now, let's just enjoy the show."

He continued eating his snack. Had he been a lesser villain, he would have taken advantage of the fight. As a supervillain, he'd not lower himself to assisting a potential hero.

The light show went on, slowly drifting away. He needed to reposition a couple of times to keep the fight within view.

"Looks like he's running." Minion observed.

That was a bit of a shame, it would make a better story if he had defeated whoever this was.

The floating figure chased the retreating Oni Lee. Megamind urged the bot forward, following as well. Maybe he'd find out more abb hideouts this way.

Unfortunately, they weren't as sneaky as he hoped.

The flier halted their chase and seemed to take in their presence before advancing slowly on them. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination but they seemed dimmer up close.

"Take the controls." He ordered Minion and then scaled the tail, manning the turret seat. He aimed it in their direction.

"Not so fast, move another inch and you'll have the worst day of your life!"

A normal debilitate would last ten minutes. One from a gun this size? They'd be in agony for at minimum an hour.

"I highly doubt that." A woman's voice answered. "Who are you two supposed to be?"

"I am Megamind!" He wanted to stand and flourish his cape. Instead, he remained seated with his finger on the trigger. "Bringer of doom!"

A cough came from nearby.

"And this is Minion." he added quickly and ignored the wave Minion gave.

"Is that so." Her voice was flat. "I'm Purity, how long have you been watching me."

"About two bags of popcorn." He'd not kept an eye on the actual time. "That name is familiar…aha!" He snapped a finger and pointed. "You're with the Empire."

"No." She delivered with some emotion, the light flaring for a split second. "I left some time ago. What are your intentions here."

"We were hitting the abb when we noticed your fight." Minion supplied without his approval. "We're trying to get even with them."

"Not even!" He jumped in with a correction. "They'll rue the day they ever crossed this handsome genius!"

"It's called the ABB." The literacy rate in this city must be far poorer than he thought. "I was wondering what kicked the hive. They've been scurrying around more than usual. What places did you take out?"

Excellent. That meant phase one was going well. They needed Lung and his lackeys angry so they'd lash out. Creating a desperate atmosphere in Brokenbay.

"A crude chemical lab and two storehouses for stolen goods." Minion replied.

The other place they attacked was a dud and turned out to be a hair salon.

"Tonight?" She sounded agitated and moved a little closer. He checked the sights, making sure he had a clear shot.

"And counting. We were going to get some more before calling it a night. Would you like to join us?"

"No inviting people to our criminal activities!"

Minion needed a reminder of things he thought went unsaid.

"You're both lucky. Handover all the information you've gathered and I'll let you off. And word of advice? Get out of my city while you still can. You're not welcome here."

To punctuate her demand, one of her hands glowed brighter.

Handover? Let them off?

He shared a look with Minion, both of them nodding.

"Oh, how kind of you! One slight, itsy bitsy problem with that proposal of yours." He held out his pointer finger and thumb, having them nearly touch. "Your shine can't hold a candle to my mechanical might!"

The glow grew and he reflexively squeezed the trigger. She dipped out of the way. His chair jerked as Minion shifted the bot suddenly. He watched the retaliatory strike fly by. It was a strange laser, being in the shape of a double helix and leaving motes of light in its wake.

"For someone whose power revolves around light you're fairly dull aren't you!"

Several blue bolts were launched her way.

"No, bad Spider Mites! This one is mine." Finished with his chastisement, he aimed the turret and started rapidly firing in Purity's direction.

She was fast, not near the level of Metro Man but enough so that she was proving difficult to tag. It didn't help that he didn't get much practice firing from this type of platform.

"I've created nightlights more threatening than you!"

More lasers responded and he clung to the turret seat's dashboard.

"Keep it steady Minion!" How was he expected to hit a flying object when he had to fight to stay in his seat?

"Sorry!"

After this was done he was adding a harness to this.

"You can say things back you know!" He yelled over the sound of exploding concrete.

Maybe his dull quip was more on the mark than he thought, certainly not the brightest bulb if she decided to fight him in the first place.

"She probably can't hear you"

Ah yes, he'd forgotten about that. People here don't have Metro Man's hearing.

He maneuvered the turret so that it was right above the cab. His free hand grasped out blindly.

"Sir! I can't see!"

"Never mind that Minion, hand me the microphone."

While he did this, his other hand held down the trigger, abandoning all discipline and attempting to blanket the sky with his blue brand of retribution.

He heard a click and then a muttered 'oops'.

The turbines turned on unexpectedly, slamming them through a building. Debris fell on them and Minion acted hastily to bring them out of the rubble. Back onto the street, he was blinded for a moment before they were flung down the road. The ride was bumpy as the bot skidded across the pavement with a grating screech.

They came to a stop, the bot beneath them silent.

The turret was limp, not responding to his commands. He scrambled out of his seat.

The light in the distance got closer.

"Daddy changed his mind. Fire! Fire at will!"

He commanded the Spider Mites who had managed to not be knocked off. They responded and bought themselves some breathing room. He retrieved his sidearm and joined in, trying to hit the zigzagging firefly.

Another beam came and Minion intercepted it with his shield, it held.

They had her outgunned quantitywise but her maneuverability and high ground were a problem.

What did he have that could neutralize her…

He didn't get a chance to show his brilliance at work as white lightning arced out, narrowly missing Purity.

A familiar figure was in the air.

Dauntless

He shifted his fire, sending lasers toward the liar. They failed to reach their mark. The distance was too great and both fliers now danced together through the air, flying ever higher.

"Spider Bot…" Minion crouched beside their stricken ride, the faint sound of snifflings could be heard.

The red light of life was absent from its eyes and there was a gash on its side, the metal forming the chassis having been sheered apart.

He assessed the damage with a glance.

"It's not as bad as it looks Minion, the memory core is intact. I just need to fix the rest, it shouldn't take long with what we have on hand at the lair."

He didn't waste time and dehydrated the bot. At the same time he collected it, he retrieved the cube containing the Megamobile.

"We'll let them keep each other company. Let's head to the lair for the night."

He pulled on his friend, dragging him to their transportation.

"Oh, and Minion." His friend turned to him, a pained expression still on his face. "We're adding Purity to the list."

Dauntless

Oni Lee

Purity

They'd crossed the wrong supervillain.