"Did you get all that?"

Lung, who had proven elusive, had made himself known yesterday by attacking a protectorate patrol. Triumph and Miss Militia had been beaten back with reports of the former sustaining injuries. He'd been relieved when he heard that. While he could always arrange a prison break should the hapless cape be captured, that would dampen the narrative somewhat. No, Lung needed to remain free and maintain an untouchable aura until the climax.

"I speak English you fucker. I don't have to hear it in Japanese as well."

Despite the weather warming, the man seated on the floor in front of him wore a green scarf. They hadn't been restrained and yet he didn't make any moves to escape, a consequence of seeing the last one who had tried still writhing on the ground.

"Yes, I know that. But there are nuances between languages and I need to be sure the correct message is getting across."

His translator had been designed with that in mind, rather than a one-to-one translation it worked off of the intent of the message.

"I said I got it!" The hoodlum yelled angrily. "You got what you wanted, now fuck off already."

They were in another of the abb's storehouses for illicitly gotten goods. He noticed an uptick in the amount of resistance recently so it seemed they were starting to get wise to his attacks.

They had looted the place and delivered the message in several other languages so they were just about done here.

"Boss, can you dehydrate this sofa for me?"

Minion spoke, referring to a large brown loveseat. It was in such a state that he questioned whether or not that was the original color.

"Wait!" The seated man yelled again but this time with urgency. "I-uh I just remembered. Lung speaks Indonesian as well. We should cover that as well."

That marked five languages already, it was not a small number.

"Very well, let me just take care of this-"

"Hold up, you don't want that." There was no hiding the panic in the man's voice. "It's, it's infected. Yeah, bunch of lice in that thing. And someone's cousin gave birth on it once. It's a biohazard. Me and the boys were thinking of getting rid of it soon."

"That's a shame." Minion put his hands on his hips, shaking his head. "Harry asked me to be on the lookout for one. He's furnishing his new place."

Megamind neared the couch, making sure to keep a distance in case the man was telling the truth. It had definitely seen better days but the overreaction struck him as odd.

"Minion, stomp on the ground once." Minion raised a leg. "Gently please." He added quickly. If his suspensions were correct he didn't want to be collateral damage.

Minion brought the leg down with a thump. The hollow sound traveled across the floor.

"Move it." he directed and the couch was roughly shoved aside, revealing a rug. He saw it for what it was, a last-ditch effort at concealment. "That too."

With it removed, a hatch revealed itself.

"Don't go down there. Fucking trust me. Don't go-"

"Silence him already." Megamind cut him off. "Give him the VIP, he did cooperate."

The yells of protest were silenced as Minion shook a can and sprayed his target. Those cans had been color-coded with varying shades of blue for ease of identification.

"Was that the knock-out gas or the amnesia spray?"

"Uh" Minion studied the label. "Oops? Should I wake him up"

"Later, maybe." They'd just lost the last five minutes of progress but this discovery managed to distract him from that. "I'm recalling some of the Spider Mites from recon, I want to see what's down here."

"Roger that."

It didn't take long for the three he called to gather.

"Let's find out what they're hiding." He waved for Minion to proceed.

The hatch was ripped open, the snapping of metal indicating it had been locked from the other side.

His creations didn't need prompting, skittering below. He followed soon after, gun at the ready.

"Not so fast." A woman wearing a surgical mask awaited him. She had pale blue eyes and long black hair. Her features didn't interest him, rather his eyes were drawn to the cylinder held in her hand. "Take another step and we both find out what this does."

"And who are you supposed to be? Is this supposed to be some field hospital?"

If so it was the strangest hospital he'd ever witnessed. Several tables were set up with tools, instruments, and an allotment of other items dotting their surfaces. It resembled one of his earlier workshops.

"I'm glad you asked." The woman stood straighter and swept an arm in front of herself, giving a slight bow. "I'm Bakuda. And yes I mean that Bakuda. Feel free to shit yourselves right now"

There was a pause at that information sunk in.

"Do you have any idea what she's talking about?" He turned to Minion who shrugged his shoulders.

She muttered something incomprehensible and then continued.

"Are you joking? Ever heard of a little place called Cornell?"

"I can't say I have. Look, can you get to the point? We still have a busy night ahead of us. Also are you sick? I can't afford to be bedridden."

There was a decent chance whatever she had caught wouldn't be able to affect his particular biology but he learned the hard way his immune system was not infallible. Of course, he still considered that particular incident worth the sniffles. It wasn't every day you managed to eat the Mayor's lunch.

"I'm not sick." She stomped in the manner of a child who was not getting what she wanted."I'm Bakuda, the cape who held an entire school hostage!"

He detected more than a hint of pride in her tone. Pity it was misplaced.

"See Minion, this right here is the problem. This wayward miscreant doesn't have the first clue on how to properly conduct a hostage situation. You NEVER hold buildings hostages. It doesn't work. Oh sure, some might care in the moment but it's just concrete and steel. Blow it up, disintegrate it, send it to the moon, it doesn't matter what you do. They'll just build another in its place."

He shook his head, grieving for the future of villainy in this world.

"Cornell is over a century old. It's a landmark. A major university. They can't just build a new one."

"Can't they?" He asked in an exasperated manner. He couldn't tell if she was dull or it was the inexperience showing. Perhaps it was both.

"Shitty university isn't all I held hostage." Megamind didn't miss how it went from major to 'shitty'. "Loads of those entitled pricks, who only got in because of daddy's money, were also at my mercy."

"Amateurish." Educating a nascent local villain wasn't on his to do. His eyes drifted to Minion. He'd always been by his side and Megamind wondered how much of the intricacies of villainy he'd absorbed. "Explain how kidnappings work the proper way."

"Happy to. We've tried the group hostage approach but have found people respond better when there's a singular hostage. Individual identities get melded together in groups and you don't want that. Audiences get easily distracted and it's hard to get them to remember the details of everyone in the group. You want a singular focus. Someone whose name they can remember. Someone they can care about. Someone whose survival they're invested in. In order to do this you have to identify who your audience is and cater your hostage to them. For example, if your audience is a city then a mayor is a fantastic choice. In your situation, I believe we would have gone with the headmaster or student council president. The more recognizable and beloved they are, the less legwork you have to do. How'd I do sir?"

"I could have said it better myself. However, you hit most of the broad points." He felt something reminiscent of when he'd created his first functioning dehydration gun. "Do you understand now? You're hostage situation was doomed to be second-page news from the start."

"I understand." She responded in a low voice, holding his stare. There was something disconcerting in her eyes. "I understand perfectly."

Megamind got the sense that the value of the lesson was lost on her but he wasn't her babysitter.

"Excellent, now hand over everything you have."

He hadn't forgotten their purpose of coming here.

"Are you deaf and or blind? You better scram or I'll set this off." She said while waving the canister.

"And what is that exactly?" He couldn't deduce its function from here.

"I don't know yet. I'd like to find out but I'm betting it will kill everything in this room, self included."

An explosive of some sort, judging by those words and the dead man's switch she was holding it by.

"So, you're holding yourself hostage?"

That sounded like a horrible strategy. Once more he wondered if she was right in the head.

"No! Listen you numbskulls, I'm part of the ABB now. That means touching me means pissing off Lung. Do you really want to piss off the guy who took on Leviathan and won?"

"Yep, that's what we're going for." Minion responded for him. "Oh, we have cards. You should take one. We've been handing them out but they disappear after a while."

Minion took a step but stopped as she took a finger off the switch.

"Do you two have brain damage?" She nearly shrieked and it was grating on his ears.

"Rude, I'll have you know my brain is in peak health." He couldn't speak of Minion but his parents must have been thorough in their work. "You should be the one checked out. Also, I believe it's called the abb."

"I cannot tell if you're being serious." She looked between them both, searching for an answer. "God, you are, aren't you? It's the ABB. It's an acronym, not a word."

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

It was the third instance but he still had some doubts.

"Are you sure about that? The leader's name is Lung. Aren't they going for a body part theme?"

It was a lame theme and Oni Lee didn't fit but he didn't accuse them of being competent at branding.

"I'm in it! You think I won't know my own gang's name! It stands for Azn Bad Boys."

"If you're trying to deceive me you could have tried a little harder." There were many appropriate names he could think of to fit that acronym and somehow they'd picked the worst one. "This is almost insulting."

"It's" Bakuda snapped before mollifying a tad. "well yeah. It's a shit name. Told the big man the same. He's smarter than he looks though. See there are two types of fear. The first is fear of the unknown, where you don't know what they can or will do. The second is the fear of knowing, where you know exactly what will happen when you fight and when you lose. That name comes from one of the gangs he took out on his rise. A gang he decimated. It's a trophy he can wave around and remind everyone what happened when someone tried to fight him. Still feeling up for messing with a guy like that?"

"Was that supposed to impress us?" He asked a genuine question "Minion, are you impressed?"

"No sir, can't say I am." Minion confirmed.

It appeared he was going to need to go into lecture mode again.

"Fear is important, I'll give him that. But if he were truly as formidable as you say that fear would be attached to the name Lung and not something silly like abb, oh sorry." He wasn't. "The 'ABB'."

He'd achieved a level of infamy unparalleled in Metrocity. The mere mention of his name was enough to have people run in panic, calling for Metro Man to save them. He didn't need to constantly call attention to the one time he'd ripped apart a skyscraper with the power of magnetism to hurl it at his foe. Those moments, while fond memories, were a dime a dozen.

They did not fear him for what he did. They feared him for what he was.

Megamind.

There was no immediate response. A sigh escaped his lips, he'd never styled himself as a role model however with this world bereft of any proper villain perhaps the job did fall to him.

"You're still young. I'm sure there's a long and fruitful career in villainy provided you clean up your act."

"The boss is right, you'll have plenty of time to think of it while planning how to break out of prison."

"What?" Minion's statement seemed to jar her out of her state. "You think I'm going to prison? I know you two aren't near as smart as me but I'm holding all the cards right now."

She waved that toy around and Megamind rolled his eyes. He didn't enjoy being caught in explosions but they were hardly something lethal to him.

"It's your lucky day. We're not interested in some no name." There was a sharp intake of breath at his words. "But what type of supervillain leaves empty-handed?"

There was a standoff until she broke, realizing that she did not, in fact, have the upper hand.

"You're not getting any of my tech. I have an idea though. If you two really want to dig your graves I know something that would piss off Lung." She glanced at the ceiling. "I can't have anyone knowing I tipped you off. What did you do with those upstairs?"

"They won't be a problem." Anyone under the effects of debilitate would have a hard time concentrating on anything but their utter agony. The only one who witnessed them discover the basement had his short-term memory erased.

"Hmm, yeah they won't. I'll make sure of that." Her eyes appeared to lose focus before she brought herself back to the present. "One of his lieutenants dropped off supplies earlier today and was bitching. Something about not being able to move merchandise this morning and having to do it at night. I wrangled the address and time. From here you should be able to make it before they leave. What do you say?"

—

"Are you certain that was the appropriate move, sir?"

They were seated in the cloaked Megamobile, having decided to ambush them at the finish line. Using this method was guaranteed to garner more frustration than attacking at the start. As usual, the Spider Mites were providing surveillance.

"Have you ever been fishing?" He responded to Minion's query.

"SIR!"

"Right, right, sorry. I meant hypothetically of course." He backtracked, remembering Minion's sensitivity. "Anyways when you hypothetically fish. If you catch a hypothetically small fish you don't keep it. You release it back into the wild until it's big enough to eat, hypothetically."

If she managed to make a splash before the climax he'd be sure to orchestrate her capture but at the moment he gained nothing from bagging some random no-name.

"Hypothetically, I see." Minion's tone betrayed his doubt. "There was still something off about her, hypothetically that is."

"Do you mean actually hypothetically or are you using the word because I did?"

"I don't know? Hypothetically?"

He gave up trying to understand his minion and focused on the building they parked across from. It was two stories and as run down as all the other locations in this part of the city. There was a subdued buzz of activity. He could spot civilians and what looked like guards chatting outside while smoking cigarettes.

Minion was tasked with dispersing them while he dealt with whoever came with the merchandise. He was hoping it would be a batch of electronics or at the very least, chemicals.

Those were the two categories of supplies they were chronically short on.

More than once a buzz sounded indicating one of the Spider Mites had spotted something, only for it to be a passing vehicle.

"Say boss, how much longer do you think this is going to take? Hypo-" Minion stopped after noticing his glare.

"It takes as long as it needs to Minion."

"I know that sir, but my show runs in an hour and I don't want to miss it."

"Record it or catch a rerun. Don't make me regret building that for you."

Minion said something under his breath and Megamind strained to hear it.

"What was that?"

"Nothing sir." Minion said with a hint of attitude.

"No, I'm certain you said something. I'm just having a hard time believing it."

"I was saying the signal messes up sometimes."

"That's impossible Minion. Clearly it's an error on the side of the transmitter and not the receiver. You know, I don't appreciate the implication-"

He was interrupted by another buzz and was planning to write it off when he noticed the change in atmosphere. The flickering lights were extinguished and the guards became more alert.

"Get ready." He elbowed Minion. "How about we leave the building and take whatever vehicle they bring? I'll drive it back while you take the Megamobile. We can skip the card distribution and message delivery. That way we can make it back quicker."

A smile blossomed on his fishy face.

"Thank you sir, it means a lot."

There was a warm feeling in his chest that he promptly squashed when he spotted a white commercial van. Some of the civilians hooted and hollered at its arrival.

It was time for action.

They exited the Megamobile without further dialogue, they knew their roles. Minion barreled down the street. His legs bent and in one leap he crashed among the gangsters. The sounds of panic and gunfire came soon after.

His part was far simpler, there were no vehicles accompanying the van so he only needed to disable the driver and passenger. They were in the process of disembarking when Minion kicked things off.

Megamind didn't give them a chance and fired two debilitates. The passenger slumped on the street while the driver collapsed on the horn, its blare competed with the gunfire for the loudest sound.

He crossed the street at a leisurely pace and after reaching the van, pulled the driver out and onto the asphalt. Taking the wheel, he switched it to drive and took off. He hummed a song while he traveled the streets in a randomized path. Things were going well recently and today would be another step forward.

Eventually, the lair showed itself and he pulled in. Minion was waiting for him, the camouflage allowing the Megamobile to take a direct path to the lair.

"The shows starting soon but I wanted to see what we got."

Megamind could relate, discovering what goods you stole was always a highlight.

He hopped out and walked to the back of the vehicle with the set of keys in his hands.

"Let's not keep either of us waiting then." He unlocked the door and swung the doors open.

He took a step back at the sight that met them. He'd expected crates or boxes. Instead, the inside was divided into two benches. Women sat on either side with wide eyes and muffled sobs.

"What's, what's going on here?" He looked under the benches. "Where is the merchandise?"

It couldn't be on them, they were wearing almost nothing.

His actions broke a dam and they began to babble endlessly in a mix of languages. He looked to Minion for support but found him as perplexed as he was.

The translator came to his mind slower than it should have and he unclipped it from his belt. Holding it out he spoke.

"One at a time." He pointed to one who jumped in her seat. "You, explain. Where is the merchandise?"

They quieted, all eyes turning to the woman he'd nominated. It seemed ages until her mouth opened, delivering an answer.

He ran some quick diagnostics on his translator, it was functioning perfectly.

So why couldn't he understand?