The next day, Lance drove me all the way from Deer Valley to Lake Irma, a journey that had taken us about 45 minutes. After reading the script, I decided that it would be best for the scene to be set before a gorgeous body of water. Was I inspired by the religious pamphlet I’d received from the triplets the day before? It’s entirely possible, but I couldn’t deny how perfect of a setting it was.
The sun hung over our heads and lit the lake’s turquoise blue body as we made our way over to the shore. The surrounding tall greenery along the edges of the lake disappeared near the edges of Deer Valley’s famous mountains, leaving us with gorgeous flat land that spanned almost ten miles. The lake was a popular tourism destination for the city, so we wound up scouring for a corner along the coast that would end up being less populated for our scene.
“Hey Lance, look.” As we left the car, I held out a clapboard and closed it down in front of his face. “Action!”
“Where’d you get that?”
“Jaz gave it to me when she dropped me off at your place.”
“No cameras, just a clapboard.”
“Okay fine, she didn’t give it to me. I took it for fun. But I couldn’t help it, okay? This makes me feel like a real director.”
My eyes fell to the clapboard. I didn’t think I was even worthy of doing something like this. I loved film from the bottom of my heart, but stuff like being on set and directing actors just felt like something a world away from me. To actually be granted the opportunity to do this was incredible.
“Okay, let’s get this straight,” Lance said. “You haven’t told me who my co-star is, you haven’t showed me the script yet, and Jaz and her cameras aren’t even here yet.”
“Hey, she had to go pick the other actor up.”
“Oh man, I wouldn’t have to put up with this if I were RDJ.”
“Everyone has to start somewhere,” I said.
“And why isn’t Zoey here anyway? It’s her club and her idea, is she really just going to dump it all on you and Jaz after all that?”
“She had plans today.”
“Yeah, nice girlfriend bro. Can’t even make it to your directorial debut. Real winner you got there.”
“Yep, she’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
The two of us walked along the shore of the lake silently to pass the time. The occasional boat and jet ski, along with the playful screams of children filled the atmosphere in between the sound of the trees rustling in the wind and the water washing against the shore. It was a new environment for me, who was stuck in that forest city of mine for most of my life. The last time I’d been here was for a family lunch back when my grandfather was still alive. I must have been all but eight at the time.
He walked along the shore with me just like this, then he stopped to teach me how to skip rocks along the surface of the water. Small, flat, and smooth. Those were the best ones, he always told me. He seemed to play off my joy at discovering the little intricacies of this small game. He was a kind man, much like his son, my father. So, I wonder how it was that I ended up becoming such a rotten person?
“Hey Trist, I’m sorry for not telling you about Naomi,” Lance said suddenly
“Oh, are you now?”
“Shut up, man. Do you know how much I had to swallow my pride to say that?”
“Yeah, must have felt like a lump of coal.”
“And you rubbed it in anyway. Prick.” He looked away with a hint of a laugh showing on his face. “But seriously, I’ll admit that I didn’t respect you enough to let you in on it. Maybe it’s because I felt better than you because I had a girlfriend and you didn’t.”
“Oh, and I’m the prick?” I picked a rock up and skipped it. I managed to get it to glide twice over the water before it finally sunk on the third attempt.
“Okay, okay. I’m the bad guy. Fine, whatever. I admit it. But don’t let my fuck ups be the reason you don’t talk to me about your shit, man. Look at how Naomi and I ended up. She’s talking to fucking Lawrence even though she KNOWS what kind of person he is, and it’s driving me up a fucking wall. I should’ve talked to you about it. I should have trusted you. Just, don’t make the same mistake as me, okay? I’m right here, man. Just talk to me about it.”
“I wish I could, Lance.”
No matter what I said to him, there’d be no way to really communicate what stood at the heart of it without endangering him.
Dream Paralysis.
Even if I could trust him not to tell anyone, Zoey still wants it to be kept a secret. If I went and carelessly babbled about it, who knows what she’d do next once she found out? That girl was capable of so much that I was terrified of getting on her bad side. Maybe she wouldn’t harm me directly, but she could easily mess with Lance as she did with Gwen and Ben…
No.
That feels like a convenient excuse.
The truth is, I could tell him about it if I really wanted to.
Maybe the real reason I won’t tell him is because there’s a part of me that’s still holding onto the hope that I can save her from her loveless state. That, someday in the future, there’ll be a time where Zoey and I can live happily together like in my dreams. And that, by opening up about her to Lance, I’d be forced to confront just how messed up she is.
“Wait. Trist, what the hell man! Why is SHE here?”
I snapped out of it and found Jaz a couple of dozen feet away unpacking something from the trunk of the car she borrowed from her mom. To her left was Naomi Fraise, who I could tell had already been making an unpleasant face at the sight of her co-star who stood beside me.
“I don’t think I want to do this, man,” he said.
“It’s just one scene.”
“One scene? Just one scene? Dude the fucking ice cube scene in Do The Right Thing was ‘one scene’. Doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.”
“You watched that movie?”
“Yeah, Naomi made me.”
“What is that, 88? 89? I guess that’s a couple years after Back to the Future.”
“I’m no hypocrite,” he said while kicking a rock.
I looked over at Jaz, who had already grabbed the camera and was waving us over.
“We should go meet them,” I said.
Lance didn’t respond at first. His gaze was fixed at his feet, hands in pockets, almost like he was a kid being forced to go say hello to adults he didn’t care for. But eventually, he came to. “Alright. But if this goes terribly then I’m throwing you into the Lake.”
“Sure, if it makes you feel better.”
He smiled, and the two of us made our way over to Jaz’s car.
“You were right, by the way,” I said.
“I always am dude,” he said with a grin. “About what though?”
About Ben, I wanted to say. He had his issues, but perhaps demonizing him as I had wasn’t the right way to look at it. Even if the romantic bridge connecting Ben and Gwen was beyond salvageable, there’s no reason to think that he’s a genuinely terrible person deep down. Perhaps there was something in there worth saving?
“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”
He glanced over at me in disappointment, then sighed. “Sure, guess I deserve that too.”
The two of us took our time walking in silence, simply taking in the nature away from Deer Valley for once.
“Uh, why is he here?” Naomi asked me the second Lance and I arrived. Their responses were so alike that it was a wonder that they’d broken up at all.
“Why? Because I’m obviously the star of this show. You’re just my little sidekick,” Lance said.
“What? You’ve seen the script then?”
“H-huh? Well, no but…”
“You’re just as clueless as I am then.”
“Yeah, sure. Fine. Whatever. Sorry you’re in the movie with little old me and not athletic Lawrence or something.”
“Yeah, and I’m sorry Jaz will be too busy holding the camera to play your little heroine role or whatever.”
“Dude, we’re not like that.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes really. Jaz isn’t into me. Unlike Lawrence who actually wants to fuck you.”
“What? No he doesn’t.”
“Oh my God, you’re an idiot.”
“No, you are.”
“Guys!” I interrupted. The two of them stopped their bickering to glance my way with angered expressions. I suddenly felt myself grow timid under their gazes, but I couldn’t just stop since I already had their attention. “Uh, as much as I’d love to keep listening to this, we need to go shoot some establishing shots for the scene... Jaz, can you hand them the scripts?”
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“You got it Tristy.”
She smiled as if she were ignoring the eruption going off around us and reached into the trunk once again. After retrieving two binders from the back, she handed them to the both of them.
“It’s a short scene so you should be able to memorize it in an hour if you try hard enough.”
“Fuck man, there’s no way I’ll get all this,” Lance said.
“Really? Some star you are,” Naomi scoffed.
“Get bent, moron.”
I sighed. “Whatever, we’ll be back in an hour. Be in dress by then.”
Jaz and I left the two of them at the vehicle and began to make our way towards the lake, just as Lance and I had been before the girls arrived. It was like handing a bride off to her groom and before taking to the side so they could enjoy their time together. Only, as of right now the two of them absolutely despised one another.
“You know Tristy, you’re kinda like a different person today.”
“I’m like a different person every day.”
It’s kind of true, since Dream Paralysis was influencing my personality so strongly these past few days. But I did find it strange that she said it today of all days, when I was entirely myself.
“Really? You usually feel like the same old Tristy to me.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, but today you’re different. You’re kinda like, more assertive. You really want this movie to work, don’t you? How come?”
“How come? Well, there’s lots of reasons.”
My passion for film was bleeding through, naturally. I wanted to make something that I could be proud of. I might not be Sidney Lumet or Francis Ford Coppola, but I wanted nothing more than to create something that could express my love for the movies they’ve made. Those feelings were partially what had been propelling my every action.
But I couldn’t deny that my hopes that this project could be a way for Lance and Naomi to make up were also playing a role in my mood. The two of them were the only reason my life at school up until this point hadn’t been a lonely slog. I needed them both. I wanted Lance to be happy, and I wanted Naomi to be around. To me, that would be the ideal way to close out my final year at school. If this film could help settle the pointless dispute they were having, then I’d do my best to make it happen.
There was another thing too, the fact that this was Gwen’s script. It was a remnant of a moment we shared together. Back in The Cage, where she spoke those beautiful words about her experiences with love. This was a chance to immortalize that moment. Her script, and my directing.
“So like, what is an establishing shot anyway?” Jaz asked.
“Huh? Oh. It’s like, a shot that kinda shows the setting off to the audience. It’s like those shots at the beginnings of scenes in shows and movies where it just shows the building they’re in or something. It also helps let people know if it’s like dawn, noon, evening or night.”
“Oh really? I guess I kinda just take those for granted when I watch stuff.” She used her right hand as a visor and glanced around the lake, then glanced up at the sky. “Hey, do you think we should’ve tried renting a drone? A shot over the lake could have been gorgeous.”
“I thought about it, but I think it’s better if it feels like a student film.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hmm, it’s hard to explain. I guess I just don’t want it to feel too technical. I don’t want the focus to be on the cool drone shots or the crazy transitions or anything like that. Simple is best, you know? I want the focus to be on the actors and the scene.”
“You say that, but I don’t know how great their chemistry is going to be. Like, I read the scene you gave me, right? And while I think it’s good, they’d need to be REALLY into it to make this work.”
“Well, they’d better make it work or they’re both fired.”
“Doesn’t this need to be done by tomorrow?”
“Then we’re all fired.”
She sighed. “Guess so. Do you think you can handle it then, Mr. Director?”
“All I can do is my best. Oh, try doing a close up of the water here.”
“Like right here?” She squatted in front of the lake water rising and falling against the stones on the shore.
“Yeah, just hold it above the water for about ten seconds like that.”
“Okay.”
She removed the lens cap and positioned the camera, adjusting the settings for a moment, then she recorded. For about ten seconds, we were completely quiet as she homed in on the shot.
“Ah damn, my reflection is in here,” she said.
“Oh, right. I guess you should angle it more then.”
“Hang on, let me try this.”
She positioned herself more to her right then aimed the camera left then re-recorded the shot. She didn’t say anything, so it was probably safe to assume that there weren’t any abnormalities in the shot this time. I took the moment to take in the scene before us. The light reflecting off the clear waters of Lake Irma. The shades of light on the surface of the water coloring the rocks beneath. The rise and fall of the water against the shore. A picturesque shot that would suit our purposes just right.
“Have you noticed that Zoey’s been acting different lately?” she asked, as she began setting a tripod up on the shore.
“I think she’s different every day too,” I said.
“Oh, do you, now?”
“Different clothes, different attitude, different words.”
“Not as much as this past week, though.”
“She hasn’t been sleeping, apparently,” I said.
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“As in, she didn’t tell you or you didn’t ask?”
“Everyone has so many questions…”
She stood up and stared my way. I could tell that she was thinking of the best way to phrase whatever it was that she wanted to say to me. It was a complicated look. One way or another, she was going to let me know about my transgressions.
“Look, Jaz. I…”
“She’s alone, Tristan.” Her voice stopped me in my tracks. “She’s always been alone. You know that.”
“I can’t imagine why.”
“Tell me.”
I held my tongue. There was something different about Jaz today too. She was no longer the calm, soothing person I knew her to be. Maintaining her distance while easing me into her orbit. That’s the kind of person she was in my mind. And yet this Jaz didn’t care about something as delicate as that. It was as if she were a meteor hurdling towards me with her own selfish intentions.
“She’s not the kind of person you think she is,” I said.
“Yeah?” She smiled. “And what kind of person do I think she is?”
“I don’t know, a good person? Kind, understanding...”
Jaz laughed. “If I thought Zoey was a good person after all this time, then I’d have to be the biggest idiot in the world.”
Of course not. Of course she didn’t think that, how could I be so stupid? Jaz has known her far longer than she’s known me. It would be a little ridiculous if Zoey managed to keep her mask on for that long.
“How… did you find out?” I asked.
She had finished mounting the camera on the tripod. The lens, which was pointed out at the lake, was being adjusted by her. After a few seconds, she rolled for the shot. I stayed quiet, allowing her to take in the natural sounds of the environment. I wanted her to answer me right that second, but we had a job to do. Once she was done, she waved for me to come over and she bent forward to stare at the shot. I walked over next to her and looked into the display.
“How’s this?” Our shoulders touched as she asked for my opinion. We were both heavily clothed for the fall weather, but making contact with her in such a way did redden my face.
“Uhm, yeah. This looks good.”
“Good or great?”
She was leaning into me even more. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she was doing it on purpose. No, even if she was, is what Zoey was saying true? Was she only interested in me because Zoey was? If so, then why should I care?
“Fantastic.” I pulled away from her and stood up straight.
She seemed to be wearing a curious expression on her face. “Walk with me. Let’s look for a shooting spot.”
“Sure…”
The two of us began along the coast of the lake just as Lance and I had earlier once she removed the camera from the tripod. The way she wore her braids today seemed almost regal to me. Tied up at the top of her head and running down her shoulders and chest like a waterfall off a mountain’s slope. Jazmine was beautiful, I couldn’t deny it. It’s just that, when standing next to someone like Zoey, it’s a bit difficult for most people to truly notice it.
“Last year, we had a senior in the club who was madly in love with her.”
“Really?” I blurted it out without realizing.
“Yeah, do you remember Tanner? The computer nerd.”
“Tanner liked her?”
I remembered him. He was a bit on the nerdier side of things. Had a face like a pepperoni pizza, wore striped shirts and these small-framed glasses that did nothing to help everything else that was going on.
“Everyone liked her, Tristan. But he didn’t just like her. He was madly in love with her. The keyword here, of course, is madly. I met him during an IT class. Apparently, he was interested in me at first. But when I told him I didn’t see him the same way, he eventually asked me about the photography club. I thought it was because he hadn’t given up on me, or maybe because he was genuinely interested in the subject, just like I was. We spoke about it a lot before he confessed to me, that’s how I know. He seemed to really know his stuff. I mean the stuff he was saying, it’s like he did nothing but study film and photography for his entire life. Maybe my interest in photography is why he’d taken an interest in me in the first place. I learned a lot from just being in his presence. But that’s what made Zoey stand out to him the way she did. It wasn’t just that she was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, it’s that she was also a person who, unlike me, could actually match his expertise in the area.”
Tanner did strike me as a bit obsessive when it came to learning. He could sponge up information on any topic with no problem. I didn’t know him that closely, but after he joined the photography club, he became infamous for wearing a Polaroid around his neck at all times.
“After he’d joined the club, it was hard for any of the other three club members, myself included, to get much time to talk to Zoey about anything. Tanner was always at Zoey’s side. Confiding in her. Asking questions about what to do next. Offering small favors for her like carrying her book bag. It was all so obvious that he was pining for her, and yet she never stopped him. She went along with his clumsy advances, never truly setting a boundary for him. He felt so free around her that he would vomit up whatever came to his mind when they were together. All his insecurities, the people he disliked or felt inferior to, the sad things that happened to him throughout the day. And Zoey, the soldier that she is, just kept on reassuring him. If it were me, I would throw him out without a second thought. It was draining just looking at them. How did she have the mental stamina to go along with any of it? Even the other club members had just about had it with him too. But none of us dared to cross Zoey. She WAS the photography club, after all.
“Then, one day, I happened to visit the club room on an off day because there was a photograph a friend of mine wanted early. I came in, and for some reason Tanner was there as well, just sitting at the computer. He must have had some business with the photos too, I thought. I walked up behind him and greeted him. ‘Hey Tanner.’ And then he turned around with this, petrified look on his face. He was like, shocked that I found him. I knew that face all too well. As someone with two younger siblings, it was the face of someone who just got caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. And then I looked up at the monitor and saw it. All those candid photos of the cheerleaders. Krista, Gwen, girls their senior, girls their junior. He had taken so many salacious photos of these girls, photos that couldn’t have possibly been intended for anything but lustful reasons, that I could feel my stomach turning. He did it on our camera. On the photography club’s camera.”
My hand was at my mouth before I realized it. I had no idea that a scandal like that had taken hold of the photography club. And worse yet, I know for a fact that Tanner had graduated without any troubles. So how? How did this not end up becoming a huge story?
“It was when I confronted Zoey about it that I finally realized how broken she was. ‘Isn’t that just his relationship with photography?’ she said to me. I couldn’t believe my ears. ‘It’s messed up,’ I said. ‘What if he took photos of you? How would you feel?’ Could you believe that she actually laughed when I said that? Laughed, then looked up at me and said, ‘If you’re going to condemn him then you should condemn me, because I’ve done far worse than what he’s doing.’ Then she turned away as if I weren’t even worth looking at then said, ’I’m fond of Tanner, Jaz. He might be an ugly, rancid, unpleasant little creature, but he reminds me a lot of myself. Only someone as unlovable as him could ever come close to truly understanding me.’”
I held my breath.
“Of course, Tanner eventually did get caught by someone. But Zoey cleaned it up. She condemned Tanner, but asked the person who figured it out, the boyfriend of this victim, to allow him to graduate by not telling the school about it. But in return, said boyfriend asked to speak to Tanner one-on-one. You remember it, right? That month that Tanner was absent from school.”
“Yeah, he broke his arm by falling down some stairs.”
“Yeah, a staircase called Benjamin Otto.” I held my breath, and she continued. “That’s who Zoey is. That’s when I learned the truth about her. She’s cold-blooded and heartless, and she’ll do anything as long as she gets what she wants in the end. But she’s still the only reason the photography club functions, so I can’t fight her back. I want to, but I… I don’t know. Maybe I’m just a coward.”
Her eyes glanced over a restaurant that stood over the shores of the lake. “Oh, wouldn’t that place work? Let’s go check it out!”
She hurried over to the mini staircase that led up to the seating area on the dock. My feet wouldn’t move, however. I couldn’t follow behind her. Ever since the name Benjamin Otto was uttered, I had been frozen in place. He was a ghost that continued to haunt me ever since that Saturday at the mall. And his meeting with Zoey, was because of this incident?