It was my first time being close to Laura Young for such an extended period of time. The now two distinct impressions I had of her, the one born of hacking her and the one I formed by sitting near her, were essentially one and the same. That is, that she was an almost holy, soothing existence. Everything from her tone of voice, her choice of words, and her general demeanor was, contrary to her outward appearance, kind and earnest.
Today, she had been wearing a white graphic tee with waist-high tight, black denim jeans with holes cut into the legs. The biker jacket that didn’t fall past her hips, along with the boots that were rolled over her jeans, were also a deep black, highlighting the gothic look that had become her style ever since she left high school.
“When Zoey and I hung out last week she waited for me under the Andrew Jackson statue too,” she said.
We were enjoying drinks and snacks at a fancy tea house that was located within walking distance of the campus. She was seated elegantly, sipping on her drink carefully without cracking so much as a smile. There was something refreshing about her indifferent demeanor. She didn’t care about coming off as mean or cold-hearted, and I admired that honesty about her. It was relaxing to be around compared to Zoey’s mask.
“Oh, well it’s hard not to be a fan of him when you’re from Deer Valley. He’s kinda like the founder of this city in a lot of ways.” The response came from Jacob, Laura’s boyfriend, who was snacking on the cookies we’d gotten for the four of us. He was leaning forward, his shiny brown bangs slicked back to reveal the unblemished skin of his forehead. His choice of attire was simplistic compared to Laura’s, wearing denim blue jeans along with a gray, fitted sweater that he rolled up his forearms. Yet, how could I deny the effort he’d put into making such a simplistic look stand out?
“Really? Does that make me a fake resident if I think he’s one of the worst presidents in US history then?” Zoey asked before taking a sip of her tea.
“One of the worst? Really?”
“Well, when you get past the obvious like Pierce, who strengthened slavery laws in the US, and Buchannan, whose incompetence basically led to the civil war, Jackson’s policies, particularly those pertaining to native Americans, were uniquely awful as far as presidential legacies go. Let’s not forget that both of those figures revered Andrew Jackson and took him as an inspiration for their own presidencies.”
“Sure, but you can’t look at Jackson in that way. He was a product of his time. I mean, how could you hate the guy? He fought for America’s freedom in the revolution as a young boy, then established himself as a legend after his deeds in the war of 1812. He was a national hero. The true embodiment of living out the American dream.”
“Who did he defeat in that war to become a national hero again?”
“A southern native force.”
“And you don’t see the problem there?”
He smiled. “It was a native force, sure. But it was one supplied with long rifles by the brits to create diversions to weaken and split America’s army. Was he just supposed to roll over and let them walk over them because they were natives?”
“Sure, but I don’t think the war radicalizing him to dislike natives helps his case, it just explains his motives.”
Jacob took a sip of his tea then looked over into the scenery through the window.
“Listen. You can shit all over Andrew Jackson’s legacy all you want, but that doesn’t matter. I love this place, and I’m thankful to him for paving the grounds for us to make it our home. I’m sad about the Indian removal act. It was an ethnic cleansing, there’s no denying it. But it’s more complicated than that. Because, truth be told, I don’t know if I’d rather be living anywhere else in the world than the version of Deer Valley that exists today.”
While I didn’t follow all of the historical claims that had been thrown around, it seemed to me that Jacob was struggling with his love for this city, and the crimes that paved the way for its existence. It must be challenging to live like that. I like Deer Valley, but I don’t share the strong bond that he seems to have with it.
“There is no good or evil in history,” Zoey said. “No one wakes up in the morning and decides that they’re going to dedicate their lives to evil. If the natives truly were savages and animals like Jackson believed, then his actions could have probably been justified in some way. The problem was that he was wrong, and his actions had grave consequences for the people he subjugated to his policies.”
Jacob seemed to take in what she was saying in good stride. Then, with a playful grin, he turned towards his girlfriend. “Laura, your friend is…”
“She’s smart, right?”
“No one likes a smartass, though. You sure she doesn’t get teased at school?”
Zoey sipped her tea with a cool expression. “Everyone learns to love me eventually.”
He smiled. “So who’s your favorite president then? Lincoln? FDR?”
“Washington.”
“Oh, that’s a little ironic,” he said.
“Really? Tell me why.”
“Slave owner, war monger against the natives. It’s everything you hate all rolled up into one neat little package.”
“That is true. And yet, rather than unilaterally cementing these ideas of his into the rules of this nation, he helped to create and uphold a constitution that allowed people to democratically reject the ideas that he himself espoused. And when it was time for him to leave office, he understood and respected the peaceful transfer of power and set a precedent that the republic should follow for the rest of its history. His presidency set the tone for the legacy of a nation of the people, by the people, for the people. That was his greatest achievement, and that’s why the United States is the powerful, progressive nation that it is today, and why he’s my favorite president.”
Zoey was using very flowered language. It reminded me of when she spoke to my father about upending the constitution. It seemed to me like she had some sort of fascination with America’s founding documents.
“Okay, fair enough. But if you look back at history, wasn’t he trying to restrict state rights? The constitution was almost essentially overly centralized in the hands of a few, him included. If it weren’t for anti-federalists like, uhh… what was his name? The guy who helped to persuade James Madison and the convention to craft the bill of rights.”
“Patrick Henry?”
Jacob turned to Laura and grinned. “Girl’s an encyclopedia. Yes, him. I don’t think Washington should take all the credit for it.”
“No, he shouldn’t. But as far as presidents go, he set a great precedent for the future of the republic. Like you mentioned with Andrew Jackson, George Washington was a product of his time, and his political views reflected that. But in his actions, he chose to assist and embolden the creation a nation that could democratically reject his ideals because, the possibility that his ideals were wrong was entirely possible.”
My gaze wandered around as the two of them continued their confusing discussion surrounding U.S history. I’ll be completely honest, I didn’t have too much interest in this country’s history as a school subject, much less a conversational topic, so my lack of knowledge was being challenged in numerous areas. My ability to follow the conversation was laughably sad. What I could tell, however, was that Zoey’s knowledge of history had her talking circles around even college students on the subject. Was there anything she couldn’t do, honestly?
As my gaze drifted, I found myself settling on Laura’s dignified figure as she took another drink. She wore her hair in a French braid bun for her outing with us today. It couldn’t have been easy to pull something like that off. Either she’d had the hairstyle prepared for some other reason, or she was serious about looking presentable for her double date today. Maybe it was a good thing that I showed up after all. It would have been unfortunate to have gotten ready like that for nothing.
As I admired the twists and braiding of the locks of her dark hair, her eyes drifted towards me, and we made eye contact. Her gaze was powerful enough to cause me to shudder, and I immediately looked away in embarrassment.
“Tristan? What’s wrong?” she asked.
The other two, who were discussing concepts of presidency and US history that were more effective than my melatonin, stopped the conversation to turn towards me.
“Huh? Oh, I was just admiring your hair. It, uhm, must have taken a while to get it done like that.”
“Ahhh, yeah. My roommate did this, actually. Her mom is a hairstylist, so she learned a lot about doing cute hairdos like this.”
“Really?”
“I’m really glad my girlfriend has such a talented roommate,” Jacob said, gently rubbing her hair the way Zoey always rubbed mine. The display made it apparent that Zoey might have been the dominating figure in our supposed relationship.
“What about my hair, Tristan?” Zoey asked.
It was the same as it always was. She hadn’t done anything new with it, but it was as beautiful as ever. Every strand glistening in the light of the midday sun that hung over her like a spotlight. Zoey truly was divine. Not many girls could hold a candle to Laura’s beauty, but somehow, she was giving her a run for her money.
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“You’re like a painting come to life.”
I instinctively covered my mouth when I realized what I’d just said out loud. The words just sprung out without me thinking about it. My ears were probably bright red from embarrassment.
“Well don’t act shy after complimenting me like that,” Zoey said, flicking her hair proudly.
“Woah, you’re good Tristan,” Jacob laughed. “I’ll have to keep on my toes around you.”
I laughed, ashamed at how obviously out of my social element I was with these two. Everyone here was so good looking and so sociable, and I was just… me. I was like an ugly duckling kicking my webbed feet around next to a flock of majestic swans. That wasn’t the strange part though. The strange part was how the person who made me feel at ease wasn’t Zoey, the girl who had been my drug of sanity for the past few years, but Laura.
“So Jacob,” Zoey interjected. “Indulge us. How did the two of you meet exactly?”
There it was. Her interrogation was finally beginning. Jacob and Laura naturally had no idea that Lawrence had sent Zoey on this mission to find out if they were a good couple or not, but it was as clear as day now that I’d been briefed on her goals and what she wanted to accomplish here.
“I think Laura should tell the story. It’s way better from her point of view.”
“Oh, is it?” she asked, looking up curiously. “Well, in my first year I worked on campus doing tutoring for subjects that I excelled at. It was a fun job because I got to meet lots of cool people with their own lives and stories. Probably one of the best jobs I’ll ever have in my life. Then one day, he walks in. He’s not there for tutoring, he’s just keeping his friend company while he gets his work done. Anyways, after his friend leaves, he stays behind and says to me: ‘you know guys only come here for tutoring because they’re attracted to you, right?’ Which came as a surprise to me because I was just so focused on making sure they understood what I was saying that I hadn’t noticed.”
Jacob laughed. “The tutoring room was really popular back then. Guys were lining up to get that personal time with Laura. They’d talk about it all the time. Only, you were so intimidating that when you rejected them, they’d never come back again.”
“Well, I didn’t reject any of them intentionally. All I said was, ‘I don’t do tutoring outside of lab 212.’ I didn’t know that when they wanted to grab coffee they meant it like that.”
“She’s the cutest, right?” he said. “Keep going though. Tell them what happened next.”
“Sure. So, the next few weeks went by and I did my tutoring thing as always. Only, it got a little weird now that I realized that they were all only there to hit on me. My therapeutic hobby of meeting new people and helping them out with school stuff turned into a draining job where I had my energy sucked away by customers. I felt bad about it, but I also stopped having fun with it, which was unforunate because it was a really nice job until then. But I didn’t quit. And the reason for that is because this nice person would show up every day during my hours and hand me candy.
“Every day he’d come by, say hello and just hand me some new sweet snack he’d found. One day it would be Skittles, then the next day he gave me a KitKat, but it was never the same candy twice. And to be honest, the fact that he cared enough to go out of his way to get me something nice every day made me feel special. Before I knew it, I started thinking about him all the time. Who was this mysterious guy who kept me company all those days? I guess I did know him. He’s Jacob, he’s also a first year at this school, he’s a business major. But like, who is he really?
“I started finding myself thinking about him even when I wasn’t at work. ‘I wonder what Jacob would think of this. Oh, I should tell him about it. I wonder what he’s up to this weekend.’ Seeing him slowly became the highlight of my day. You don’t know how amazing it feels to have someone that dedicated to you in your life until it actually happens. It wasn’t a grand gesture like a bouquet or a diamond ring, but it was nice to have a treat to look forward to every day. But honestly, even those treats weren’t enough to make me want to keep the job. So eventually I told him that I was going to quit when he stopped by. He asked if everything was okay, and I told him that I’d miss his treats. Then, he asked me to visit the confectionery with him once work was done.”
“The… confectionery?” I couldn’t hold back my surprise.
“Yeah. Our first date was at a confectionery.” She leaned on his shoulder. “Our first date cemented the fact that we were joined together by sweets.”
Everything I knew about romance, which admittedly was very little, was thrown out the window. He gave her candy, talked to her, then asked her out to a confectionery? I feel like Lawrence, with his underhanded tricks or whatever would laugh this guy out of the room if he heard this story. And yet, Jacob managed to work his way into Laura’s heart conventionally. I had to admit though, if it were between Lawrence’s methods and this guys, I’d prefer his every day. It seemed like he was genuinely interested in showing his dedication by visiting her every day. If that isn’t a sign of true love, then I don’t know what is.
“Would you have resented her if she rejected you after doing all of that?” Zoey asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you dedicated a lot of time and money into making her happy. And I’m assuming you always had the goal of asking her out in mind. I’m just curious.”
“Hmmm.” Jacob pondered for a moment, staring at the clothed table before us, then looked back up at Zoey. “I actually haven’t really thought about it. I only did it because I liked the way her eyes sparkled when I gave her candy.”
He was way too damn good at this. If he wasn’t being genuine, then romance truly is dead.
“That’s sweet, you guys are perfect for each other,” Zoey said with a smile. Perhaps she sounded genuine to those two, but I knew what she really wanted to say: you two make me sick to my stomach.
“Thanks, though… Why were you surprised that we went to the confectionery, Tristan?” Laura asked me, sipping her tea.
“Huh? Well, I dunno. I guess I just have a very specific idea of what a first date is.”
“Oh! Sure, that makes sense. To be honest, I don’t think there’s bad places to go on a first date if you enjoy each other’s company. Except for a movie date.”
“Right…”
I thought about asking Zoey out on a movie date multiple times throughout my high school career. It’s embarrassing to be told that my fantasy with her was a terrible idea with such a straight face by a college student.
“Speaking of date idea, what else did you have planned for today anyway?” Laura asked, leaning in to look at Zoey.
“Hmmm. We could try bowling if you guys are up for it. There’s an alley right down the street from here.”
“Oh, that sounds like fun. I haven’t been there in years. Have you, Jacob?”
“Bowling? Yeah I think I went a couple months ago, but it’s not like a frequent thing or anything.”
“What about you, Tristan?” Laura asked.
“Me? Uh, I’ve never been bowling before.”
“Nice, that’ll be fun. I’m sure Zoey will have fun teaching you.”
“For sure. I just know we’ll be a decent match for you two,” Zoey grinned.
“Oh that sounds like fun.” Jacob said, popping another cookie into his mouth. “Let’s make it a competition. Couple versus couple.”
When I heard the word competition, it dawned on me that coming on this date might have been a mistake after all.
“I’m fine with it,” Laura said.
“So am I. What about you, Tristan?” Zoey turned to ask me, and the other two gazes followed suit. I felt that it was a little unfair to be put on the spot like this when I’d never done it before, but I wasn’t going to be the one to kill the mood.
“Sure, let’s do it.”
“Cool,” Jacob said. “You guys are cool; I like you two.”
I didn’t know about Zoey, but I had the feeling that I’d only be as cool as I could bowl, so his impression of me was about to take a sharp nosedive the second we got to the alley down the street. “Say, we talked about ourselves, so I think it’s only fair to flip the question, right? How’d you two meet?”
Zoey and I looked at each other. I had no idea how she wanted to play this, but I was fine with following through on whatever she offered them.
“Why don’t you tell them Tristan?” She smiled. “How did we meet?”
Though, it seemed that she was fine with leaving it to me. “Oh, sure…”
“Ooh, exciting,” Laura said.
Zoey throwing all the responsibility of lying to them onto me was cold, but I should have expected it. The more time I spent with her, the more I became aware of those sadistic tendencies of hers. Throwing me to the wolves like this as if to punish me for ever daring to antagonize her. I suppose those small acts of rebellion were all she could hope for when she’s still interested in Dream Paralysis.
“I guess the first time we met was at summer camp before our first year of high school.”
“You guess?” Jacob asked.
“Well, until recently I hadn’t realized that we’d met there. It’s complicated.”
“Ooh, that’s interesting. Come on, tell us more.”
“Uh, well… one night, I woke up in the middle of the forest. I can’t remember how I’d gotten there. I might have sleepwalked maybe, or perhaps I just passed out there during the day at some point. I don’t recall the reason exactly. But anyway, upon waking up I was greeted by a… a bear.”
“A bear?”
“Yeah, a big, black bear. Taller than I was, staring down at me. Terrifying eyes and teeth just looking at me.”
“Oh no,” Laura said, clutching onto Jacob’s sleeve.
“The next thing I knew, I was laying on the ground, half awake. Only the voices of the camp counselors keeping me up. But even their desperate attempts to keep me conscious felt like they were futile. I don’t know what exactly it was that the bear did to me, but I felt like I must have been dying. My mind was going through this weird tunnel thing, like I was being transported to the afterlife or something. And then, I saw her.”
“Zoey?” Jacob asked.
“She was just sitting there, at my side. On the grass in the middle of the night as the counselors scrambled to perform first aid. And there wasn’t a trace of panic on her face. It kinda felt like I had a guardian angel watching over me. Her strong expression almost beckoning me to stop acting as if I’m going to die over something as trivial as a bear attack. And for some reason, that cold expression of hers comforted me. It helped me to take the situation, which had originally panicked me to death, in gentle stride.
“And the craziest part, is that until recently, I thought that this was a dream. I met Zoey again once I started high school, but I had no idea that she was the same girl from then. I mean, I was so in and out of consciousness that I thought I’d dreamt her up this entire time. As it turns out, she was the one who found me and called the camp counselors in the first place.”
“Wow,” Laura said.
“I thought that I’d fallen in love with Zoey at Deer Valley High, but that’s completely mistaken. Because I was already in love with the girl who helped save my life that night.”
I felt her arm wrap around my head as she pulled me into hers. It was a loving embrace, or at least I’m sure it appeared that way to those two.
“No kidding,” Jacob said. “That sounds like the plot of a romance novel.”
“I was just surprised that he didn’t remember,” Zoey said. “I still savor the look of surprise I saw on his face when I told him the truth.”
“That must have been something. Wow, now I feel like our story was kind of plain in comparison,” he laughed.
“Really? I liked your story better,” Zoey said.
“Really?” he grinned. “Why’s that?”
“Hmm, I’m not sure why exactly. Maybe because it’s simple and sweet. I’m not really one for melodrama, honestly.”
“Melodrama? Wow, you’re hard on yourself.”
“It kind of is. A couple whose first meeting was a life-or-death situation is a bit much, right? Something sweet like sharing candy sounds like a dream to me.”
And just like that, without remorse, she trampled over it. That precious mental scenery of mine. She grinded her shoes over the floor, the walls, the tables, chairs, everything, in Zoey-like fashion. Without any respect for the feelings I’ve held so closely to my heart for all of these years. And the worst part is, she was completely aware of it.
“Well, you know what they say. The grass is always greener and all that.” Jacob laughed.
I hated every second of pretending to be this perfect, loving couple. Oh, how much I wanted this to be our reality. A world where Zoey was a sweet girl capable of love, where the two of us started dating. Wouldn’t that have been perfect? And here she was, acting it out for some couple she didn’t give two shits about because the guy she manipulated into sending her dirt on other kids at school started blackmailing her.
What a disgusting person. I wanted to hurt her. For toying with people like this, for toying with ME like this. I wanted to put her in her place for thinking that she could just mess with people and suffer no repercussions. Her boldness irritated me to no end. And yet, as someone enslaved by social expectations, I couldn’t uproot the lie. The confrontation was far too terrifying for me. So instead, I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and held her closely. But the truth is, our relationship had already changed.
Whatever love I had held in my heart for Zoey Brahm was almost all but gone.