-Zoey’s POV-
When the dance ended and it was time to leave, I spent my last few minutes sitting at the edge of the auditorium’s stage flipping through the pictures I’d captured on my camera. It was a mirrorless camera that I had spent about a year’s worth of saved allowance on during freshman year, and it was the crux of the photography club’s operations at Deer Valley high. I was contemplating uploading a select few of these images to the photography club’s Instagram page when I got home, then e-mailing the entire catalogue to the Deer Valley high website administrator for hosting on their end.
Overall, homecoming might have ended up being the worst that it could’ve been for the average student. Our team lost the basketball game which put a huge damper on the mood, and it seemed like Lawrence and Krista’s boyfriend, Enzo, had gotten into a huge disagreement over something pointless. I had to admit though, I was quite curious about it, so I decided that I would interrogate Lawrence by mail as soon as I got home.
“Yo, yo! Zoeyyy!”
I looked up from the camera and found Jazmine tilting her head playfully in front of me. The auditorium was almost completely empty at this point save for the principle, Mr. Harry, and about a dozen scattered students still loitering about.
“Oh, how are you doing Jaz?”
“I dunnoooo. This was our last homecoming dance, but the atmosphere was kind of boring. Why did we have to go and lose that basketball game? Do you think that bet you made with Ben got to his head?”
“Probably.”
I paid her no mind and continued scrolling through the photos. Overall, I thought that we had done a decent job, so I felt quite satisfied with what I saw.
“Hmmm. Oh, by the way, I hung out with Tristan yesterday, like you suggested. He’s really funny! I like him. I might start talking to him more next week.”
“Tristan? Funny?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Like I suggested. Those were the words she used. And after all, they weren’t a lie, were they? After that big meeting with Benjamin and company the day before, the one where I made the bet with him, I happened to run into Jazmine. Normally, she respected my private life enough to leave it alone, but I suppose with how everything was snowballing, she couldn’t stifle her curiosity. She asked me what was going on with a serious look on her face. Why I started dating Benjamin, why I broke up with him after a single day, and whether or not Tristan was involved.
“What do you know about Tristan?” I asked her at the time.
Of course, she knew absolutely nothing. He wasn’t exactly someone who stood out from the crowd, after all, and he wasn’t in any clubs so she hadn’t had a chance to really talk to him. “If you want to know more about him, then why don’t you spend today getting to know him?”
It was a suggestion that had taken the adventurous Jazmine by surprise. The two of us had nothing that resembled a friendly relationship. In fact, the reason I liked her so much as a member of the photography club was because she quickly understood that prodding me for information about my personal life was something I wasn’t a fan of.
So, for the two of us to have a casual conversation about a boy at school was a prospect she simply couldn’t refuse. She might have even imagined that it would’ve been the start of our budding friendship together.
However, I only suggested it because I needed her to keep an eye on him for me. After all, there was no telling what would happen if Benjamin confronted him while he was alone. He needed someone in his corner, and Jazmine’s loyalty would prove effective when in the face of a situation that dire.
“Oh, is that so?”
But in response to her comment about wanting to spend more time with Tristan, I offered up a vague response without looking up from the camera.
“Yeahhh. He said he had nothing to do with you breaking up with Ben and everything, so I guess I ran into a dead end on that. But you know what? I think he really likes you.”
My fingers froze.
“What makes you say that?”
“Nothing really, it’s just a feeling.”
“That so?”
I continued scrolling through the camera’s gallery. Naturally, I heard rumors about his tantrum in the classroom. I had assumed that it was because of Ben egging him on, but since she was in the room with him as well, there might have been more to it. What happened between the two of them? Wanting to maintain the distance between myself and Jazmine meant that, unfortunately, I wouldn’t be able to ask her directly. I therefore decided that I would have to question Tristan later.
“Mmmm… So what’s on the menu for next week, captain? Do we have anything fun on the agenda?”
“Well, I was thinking about the volleyball club.”
“Ohh, that’s the club Naomi’s in, right? Sounds like fun! I wonder if they’ll let me get a spike in while we’re there? I love visiting the volleyball club!”
She punched at the air excitedly, miming the actions of a professional boxer.
“Oh, by the way…” she said.
“Hmm? What is it?”
“Someone wanted to talk to you. Ben’s friend. He’s on the basketball team.”
Since she said Ben’s friend, then it must have been Lawrence. After all, the two of us did have things we needed to talk about. I thought that this meeting would be related to what happened during the homecoming dance, or maybe he was upset that my bet had distracted Benjamin.
Whatever the case, I decided that it was best to get it over with sooner rather than later.
“Where is he?”
“Ummm, he’s right over there. Near the door.”
“Near the door?”
My eyes followed hers, and I spotted a dark-skinned male student with his feet kicked up on a row of chairs. He was waving his fingers around like the conductor of a band would, in and out, in and out.
“Oh, Warren? I wonder what he wants.”
“Maybe he wants to apologize for Ben?”
“I don’t really need any apologies, though. I won the bet after all.”
Warren struck me as someone who was pretty far on the spectrum, so I was generally more forgiving of his stranger tendencies compared to what I’d give the average person. However, I was still curious about what it was that he wanted to talk to me about, so I decided that I’d at least go and say hello.
I reached into my bag to pull out my glasses case, then slid the arms onto my ears. I turned them on and made sure that they were connected to my phone.
“Can you hold onto this for me?” I took the camera’s strap off my shoulder and handed the device to Jaz.
“Sure, sure. I wanted to go through the pictures anyway.”
With that out of the way, I walked towards Warren with a cleared head. Whatever it was that he was going to talk to me about, it would probably shut the door on this whole chapter of my life once and for all. And then, I could focus on my next few projects with Tristan. After finally arriving next to him, I flashed him a smile and waved politely.
“Hey, Warren. I heard you wanted to talk to me.”
I took a seat on one of the empty chairs about three feet away from him after my greeting, but he didn’t respond. He simply continued waving his hands as he had been doing before.
“Hey-”
I stopped myself. His long hair was hanging over the sides of his face so I couldn’t tell, but I realized that he probably had earbuds in. With a heavy sigh, I stood up and waved my hand in front of his face.
“Oh.”
He stopped his conducting to remove his earbuds.
“Zoey, hello.”
“Hey yourself. I heard you wanted to talk to me.”
“Ah.”
Without addressing my statement, he suddenly reached out and grabbed the glasses right off my face. It was an act so sudden that I was honestly taken aback. Though, that shock only lasted for a moment, and I calmed myself down. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, after all. He was probably just going to inspect my face as Lawrence did when he had taken them years ago. That’s what I’d thought at the time.
However…
“This is a camera, isn’t it?”
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An alarm bell immediately went off in my head when he uttered those words.
How?
How could he tell at just a glance? How could he figure it out?
Did Tristan tell him?
No, he wouldn’t do that. At least, if he were going to tell someone, it would be Lance or Naomi. He had no reason to talk to someone like Warren, who was not only unrelated to him, but was also close friends with Benjamin. So how?
“Give that back.”
“I don’t think so. Not until you tell me how to turn it off.”
“Turn what off? Those are my glasses.”
“You’re a liar, Zoey. Now tell me how to turn it off.”
I bit my lip. He had me. Playing dumb for much longer would just be a waste of energy. I wouldn’t be able to get the glasses back from him by brute force, so it was best to just play along.
“There’s a small button on the inner left arm.”
He flipped the glasses and searched around, then pressed the button.
“Thank you.”
He handed them back to me, and I accepted them reluctantly.
“So,” he said. “Why are you wearing spy glasses at school?”
“Well, I just love high school so much, you see,” I smiled, giving a rehearsed response. “I’m going to miss these fun days after I graduate. All of the friends I’ve made, all the fun I’ve had… I just wanted some way to remember it all forever.”
“You could’ve done that with a regular camera. Your phone has one.”
“No. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since joining the photography club, it’s that people act differently when they know there’s a camera watching them. I wanted the real them, not some goofy caricature.”
If this was the direction that the conversation was heading in, then things would probably be fine. While I couldn’t deny the evidence of the camera, I felt confident in my ability to talk circles around anyone. However, there was only one issue with this turn of events.
“So if I told everyone that your glasses were a spy camera, do you think they’d be fine with it?”
And it was that he had leverage over me now.
“Why would you do something like that?”
“I don’t know, for some reason I just don’t think that most people would be fine with being recorded without their knowledge.”
“If you think I should stop then I’ll stop, but I genuinely didn’t think that it was a big deal.”
“Ohhh, that so? I guess we’re good, then.”
He dropped the conversation just as quickly as he started it. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he satisfied with my answer, or was he just bored? Either way, while he seemed like someone with a good head on his shoulders, he was surprisingly easy to persuade.
“The reason I called you here was because of your bet with Ben.”
“Oh, about that... I’m sorry if I ruined the game by making that bet. I didn’t think he’d get that nervous.”
“Nervous? I don’t think he was nervous at all.”
“Really? You don’t think he under-performed, then?”
“Yeah, he definitely underperformed,” he said, looking up to twirl one of his locks of hair.
“Then, what are you saying? If he wasn’t nervous, then what else could it have been?”
“Should I spell it out for you?”
“Spell what out?”
I was being overwhelmed by the strangest sense of deja vu. His subtle probing against me as I feigned ignorance... wasn’t this style of confrontation similar to how I’d approached Lawrence two years ago, when I had something over him? Is it because he also had something over my head? What did Warren know?
“Of course,” he said. “I’m talking about what Gwen did today.”
“Oh, what did she do?”
“Are you really asking that? Even though you went and spoke to her right after she did it?”
I stared at him blankly.
He must have been referring to when Gwen swapped her drink with Benjamin’s. I wasn’t sure what it was that Tristan had her spike the drink with, but it was true that I confronted her right after she made the swap. But then what, was he saying that I put her up to it?
“Wait, you’re misunderstanding something.”
“Oh, am I now?”
I paused.
If I clearly explained how I wasn’t involved, then wouldn’t it be possible that he’d end up poking at Gwen for an answer until she let the true culprit’s name slip out of fear? Would denying my affiliation really be a good idea here?
I glared at him.
“I think you are. After all, whatever it is that you’re accusing me of is something that Gwen did, right? In that case, wouldn’t she share an equal amount of the blame from Ben and whoever else you plan on telling?”
He scratched his head.
“Yeah, I suppose so. If I told everyone about that, then things would get pretty bad. Ben would go on a rampage, Gwen would probably get ostracized if not expelled, which would make Penny sad… and Lawrence doesn’t hang out with me when the rest of them aren’t around. Oh man, that wouldn’t be good at all…” He sighed.
Despite threatening to release life-threatening information about me, his demeanor was so casual that you’d think he was deciding on what to get for dinner. It was unnerving.
“Yeah, that’s why I think it was smart of you to have Gwen do it. If you’d done it yourself, then you’d probably be expelled by now.”
I wouldn’t have been expelled since I wasn’t the one who made Gwen swap the drinks, but I didn’t correct him. While I was relatively safe, it still would have been an issue if Tristan’s involvement was discovered.
“So what now? Was talking to me just your way of saying that you have your eyes on me?”
“Partially, but there was something I was curious about. Why did you start dating Ben in the first place if you were just going to break it off anyway?”
The number of times I’d heard that question was enough to make my blood boil.
“You know what I think the issue is, Warren?”
I placed my right hand on the side of my face.
“It’s that none of Benjamin’s friends have the courage to reign him in and tell him when he’s being a terrible person. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sure you were aware of how much he’d been harassing me about the homecoming dance before I started going out with him, right?”
He didn’t respond.
“So why is it that, when I finally decided to give him a chance after being exhausted by his onslaught, I’m suddenly treated as the villain? Why does Ben get to run around with impunity as if he’s owed the world just for being good at throwing balls around a court, while I’m questioned at every decision I make? Help me make sense of it, Warren. Please.”
“So you broke up with him to spite him, then?”
At his accusation, I offered him a smile.
“Sure, I won’t deny it. If his own friends wouldn’t put him in his place, then, as a victim of his terrible personality, why shouldn’t I?”
He looked away at my words.
“I guess I’ve been a bad friend these past few weeks.”
“You have. A good friend is open and honest when his friend is doing something wrong.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
He scratched his head one more time.
“But either way, I don’t think any of that changes the fact that you’re a terrible person too.”
“Terrible? Me? How come?”
“You don’t see other people as people. I don’t know how else to explain it. The things you’ve done this week have been irrefutable proof of that. Manipulating Ben’s emotions, having him blame Gwen and Tristan for the breakup when it was merely one of your whims… that isn’t something a respectable human being would do. Then, you made it worse by ruining homecoming. You made one of our precious memories as seniors into this awful mess. You don’t care about people. Everything you’ve done is proof of that, and the world would probably be a better place without you.”
I felt a devilish smile creep at the corners of my mouth, but I held it back.
I had to admit, he was the closest to learning the truth about me on their own. But the thing is, I couldn’t care less. After all, there was something else worth protecting far more than my reputation.
He hadn’t figured out my relationship with Tristan, and he had no idea about the existence of Dream Paralysis. If throwing him a bone and letting him know that he was onto something made him feel good about himself, then he was free to go ahead. But as long as I had my invisible gun, then his conjecture was worthless.
“So, was Ben not responsible for ruining the homecoming dance by striking the ref? Once again, you don’t seem to be capable of holding your friend accountable for his own actions.”
“Maybe not, and that is something I’ll have to work on. But again, it doesn’t change what you did, and what you’ll probably start doing in the future.”
“And what are you going to do about it? All you’re holding onto right now is a bomb that would destroy your entire friend circle. You’re not going to use it to expose me.”
“Maybe, but you’ll slip up again eventually. We have a full year until graduation, you know.”
“Well, I certainly do wish you all the best in your endeavors. I’ll be sure to enjoy my life at school until you decide that I’ve slipped up.”
I stood up and began walking away.
“Oh, uh, it was nice talking to you.”
I ignored his farewell and continued heading back to where Jazmine was standing, still going through the pictures we had taken.
Warren Jackson. I had to admit, he was completely off my radar. I just assumed that he was some autistic friend of Benjamin’s who was kind of good at basketball. But apparently, he had been carefully watching me without my knowing. He was extremely intelligent, and quite adept at reading other people. I decided that I would have to reassess my initial understanding of him.
“Yo, Zoey! How’d it go? What did he want? Was it about the pictures?”
She held the camera out to me, and I accepted it without stopping.
“Bathroom.”
“Huh? Uh, oh. Okay.”
I continued walking until I entered the women’s bathroom in the auditorium. There, I turned on the faucet closest to the door and leaned my hands onto the sink. It was fine. As long as I had Dream Paralysis, then the perfect network that I had carefully crafted after three years of school could go to hell for all I cared. No one’s going to care about high school once we all graduate anyway. Besides, I had had my fun with that project. Perhaps it was just a sign that it was time to move onto bigger things. I ran the most successful photography club in probably the entire school’s history, I thought, and I could be proud of that.
The face that stared back at me from the mirror was that of an unlovable girl who could only form relationships through her own necessity. Necessity that was going to be stripped away at any moment by Warren’s investigation. In that moment, I thought that it was an ugly face, and I hated it with every ounce of my being.
“Screw you…” I muttered to myself.
It was fine, wasn’t it?
“Screw you…”
Something was bubbling beneath the surface of my heart.
Something I hadn’t ever experienced before.
“Screw you, you fucking asshole…”
But it was fine, right? Logically, it shouldn’t matter that he poked a hole in my perfect persona if I acquired Dream Paralysis in return.
“You asshole…”
If only I hadn’t saved you at that time. Maybe you wouldn’t have fallen in love with me back then. If only I hadn’t sat there with you while the counselors tried to save you.
I’m not capable of loving you?
Oh, it’s far worse than that.
“I hate you…” I muttered.
Yes, I hated him.
I hated Tristan Collins with every fiber of my being.
Why did a creepy little freak like him have to awaken something that terrifying?
“I wish you’d just drop dead…”
A visceral anger was taking over me.
If Tristan showed himself in front of me right at that moment, I probably would have struck him down with all the force of a raging bull.
I wanted to kill him.
I wanted to kill him for ruining everything.
If it weren’t for him..
If it weren’t for that person…
“You fucking asshole!!!”
With the emotions inside of my body raging uncontrollably, I spiked my camera at the floor with everything I had. The thundering crash of my equipment shattering against the tiled floor boomed throughout the restroom. The catharsis of releasing that boiling anger was refreshing. I was filled with an intoxicating high that had somehow relieved me of those bubbling emotions. They had died down just as quickly as they arrived.
And then, I quickly grasped the reality of what I had done.
“Oh.”
It was an action so unlike me, but so much like my own mother. Was it possible? Had my mother’s personality transferred to me through the hacking?
No.
It was nothing that convoluted. This emotion had been welling up inside of me well before Tristan had hacked her. This was just a result of me reaching my breaking point. I leaned against the sink and heaved a heavy sigh. It was probably the only time in my life that I’d ever let my anger get to that point. But I had to admit, it felt good to let it out for once.
The sound of footsteps hastily approaching me came from outside. Eventually, the door flew open, and Jazmine came bursting into the bathroom.
“Zoey! Are you okay? I heard a noise.”
She froze in place thanks to the sight before her.
There I was, leaning casually against the sink while staring at the ceiling, completely indifferent to the expensive mirrorless camera lying at my feet. I turned towards her and flashed her my usual smile.
“Oh, hey Jaz. Guess what? The camera’s broken.”