--==Chapter 69: Don’t Do Anything Drastic--==

Hobbled slightly by my injured leg, I limped after Kay. I expected her to stop at the glowing exit where Nia was frozen—to react in some unhinged way.

If she noticed at all, I couldn't tell. Instead, she fled up the stairs.

I had no idea what her plan was. She could have left via the Shadow Alcove rather than retreating deeper into my ship if she was intent on retreating.

As I started up the stairs, I considered that I'd faced her on my ship before, and it hadn't gone well for me. The last time she'd run away from me on this ship, she was going for a weapon, and I only knew of one thing on board she might be after.

Sure enough, I was barely poking my head past the cellar doors when I had to duck the swing of the Zen rake.

The rake only caught air, but the power of Kay's swing was evident in the whistle and rush of wind that trailed in its wake.

I dove the last few steps up to the grassy deck at the front of the ship's cabin and rolled out of the way of a downward swipe of the rake.

Chunks of lawn splattered outward at the strength of the strike, reinforcing my certainty that I did not want to tank a blow from her.

Pushing off the ground, I hopped to my feet in a display of strength and athleticism I'd done little enough to earn.

Kay backpedaled multiple steps before flickering away to the opposite side of the ship. She didn't stay in any one position long, and my eyes darted about, looking for her telltale flicker.

The last time I'd faced the Shadow, Kay had disappeared in front of me only to reappear suddenly behind me, so I placed my back to the cabin and kept my eyes constantly scanning ahead.

The Shade appeared and disappeared beside the stone railings on either side of the ship. Flickering back and forth, she slowly closed the distance between us. I must have resembled nothing so much as a dog watching a game of tennis.

Twice, Kay disappeared for several breaths, and I only caught the barest glimpse of her hiding behind the tree-masts.

I found myself falling into a wrestler's stance, knees bent, arms out, ready to grapple Kay or the rake the moment either got close.

Then she vanished entirely, and for long seconds, I could only search.

The cellar was still open on my left, and I realized that Kay might be best served by escaping and challenging me tomorrow with more preparation and help.

Swearing, I kicked the cellar door nearest me closed. I didn't dare bend down to reach the other door, though. Instead, I circled to the other side, my eyes ever vigilant for Kay's reappearance. If she'd already made it down the stairs, it was likely too late, but I didn't think that was likely. Frankly, she didn't seem that rational.

I glanced down for the barest second as I kicked the other door closed, and when I looked back out across the ship, I spotted movement above me.

Kay's silhouette plummeted toward the deck from the upper branches of the nearest tree-mast, rake held up over her head as though to chop wood.

By purest luck, I dove out of the way and the ground again erupted with clods of grass and dirt.

I instinctively kicked out at the Shade, but her form slid backward toward the tree, her feet gliding inches above the ground while holding the same position as if frozen. I'd seen this lagging movement the last time we fought, and I still didn't know if it was an ability or a consequence.

She rushed at me again, and I hurried to my feet, putting the cabin on my right and the stone rail of the ship on my left. I'd been trying to avoid the side of the ship. I was still pretty sure it would kill me if I hit the plasma, and since I was here in the flesh, I doubted I'd be able to 'wake up' in the same way as I had last time.

Before she reached me, she vanished again. This time, she was gone for less than a blink, reappearing on the stone railing and leaping off it in another overhead swing.

Rather than dive out of the way again, I dove toward her.

My shoulder took her in the waist, and my arms wrapped around her. Her form flickered and began to slide back, but it didn't free her from me; instead, I was dragged along in her wake.

We were most of the way back to the rail before she started struggling against my hold. There were limits to her strange movements, and I had finally been able to capitalize on one.

Released from her forced slide, Kay stumbled backward into the railing, but I couldn't let her go over the side.

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If she could get some distance from me, she'd be free to teleport around again. Fortunately, that didn't seem possible when I was actually holding onto her. More importantly, the last time I was sure she was killed by the waves, she'd surprise attacked me. Besides, I had no idea what would happen to Shadow if it fell into the plasma sea, and since it seemed to be linked to the survival of Forest Lake, it was a risk I didn't want to take.

Not releasing my grip around her waist, I tried to throw her to the ground next to the rail.

She managed to keep her feet under her, but in doing so, she brought the rake near me, and I grabbed hold of it. I didn't like the idea of bludgeoning a person to death, but options were in short supply. Besides, I had even less interest in being bludgeoned to death.

I wrenched the tool from her hands easier than expected, and, for a second, I was sure she'd hop back to get distance for her lagging teleport; I lunged after her to prevent the retreat.

However, she didn't back up; she leaped over the ship's rail.

I swore, and without thought, I swung the rake over my head and down in a great arc.

I was desperate to keep her from getting away—to keep her from destroying herself and the Shadow out of pure spite. Desperate to react in a way that wouldn't have a cost, I changed the rake in my hands.

The rake head transformed every bit as easily as Hands had changed his own Dreamland.

My swing connected, and a sharp hook pierced Kay's back, penetrated cleanly through her body, and embedded itself in the stone of the ship. The wooden haft jerked in my hands as the entire weight of her body was jolted to a halt in the crook of the hook.

I gagged as I watched her hands scrabble briefly at the metal spike sticking out of her chest. I had to turn my head away and squeeze my eyes shut.

When I brought myself to look again, she was hanging limp.

It took surprisingly little strength to drag her body back onto the ship, but the effort was still almost beyond me. This was not the kind of life I'd ever wanted.

And I wasn't done.

I needed her memory crystal in her brain to reclaim the Shadow, or so Sori claimed.

I reshaped the rake again into an axe. I wondered if I'd ever be able to use it in my rock garden for its intended purpose. The chop was quick but far from clean.

Despite getting blood in my fur, I didn’t immediately change back to human. Stopping Kay, reclaiming the Shadow, both were necessary.

I still regretted it.

I didn’t want to accept the brutal nature of life on earth, or at least I wanted to believe we could overcome that nature. Perhaps one day we will. It won't happen by accident, though. It won't happen without sacrifice.

We carry so much baggage from our evolution in a world of predator and prey, of survival of the fittest. If the American experiment proved anything, it proved that having plenty can’t negate the fearful and compulsive natures that let our ancestors survive the wilds.

With Kay’s blood cooling on my hands, I could admit that even the religious zealotry that spawned her trauma monster was, itself, likely a result of generational trauma. That didn’t make her actions excusable, but it also wouldn’t be defeated with violence.

If humanity ever wanted to live in a utopia, we’d have to find a way to overcome our superstition and brain chemistry both. We'd need to find a way to build an ever-changing world that embraced reason and understanding—to harness our anxieties for the common good of all people and peoples.

I couldn’t decide if that chance was gone forever or closer than ever before. After all, we’d officially entered a post-scarcity world where the time loop meant food would never run out. Either way, as a wolf, I already had blood on my hands; in a fit of my own superstition, or at least compulsive symbolism, I didn’t want that blood on my human hands.

The shadow remained on Kay like a shroud until I pulled the crystal from her head. The darkness streamed between her and the crystal, like iron filings when a magnet was brought close. Then, the Shadow began to flow over my hand and up my arm. The crystal became a growing node of darkness, collecting the Shade from Kay and painting my glowing fur with a dark tint that muted my glow.

When the transfer was done, my glow had been largely smothered, leaving me with dark, glossy fur that shimmered a deep blue.

Kay was dead, but she’d be respawned at the start of the next loop. She’d respawn without any memories since the Vortex fell and without the influence of of her created demon. I decided I’d store her corrupted memory crystal, which looked like two crystals had been melted together. I wanted to chuck it into the sea and let the waves take it, but I decided to talk to Sori before trying to destroy it permanently.

I returned to the Shadow Alcove and placed the gem on the shelf. Only then did I notice a problem.

Light still streamed in from the end of the alcove that had opened into the chapel, except now that entryway was blocked off with the same ethereal haze that made up the Vortex.

“Well, shit,” I swore. Taking the shadow from Kay must have broken the connection.

“Yeah, yeah, hold your horses. I can’t believe you broke the connection to the outside world while still in the ether. How dumb are you?” Sori’s voice said from nowhere.

“Uh, Sorry?” I apologized confusedly.

“Yeah, it’s me; just don’t do anything drastic like throwing yourself overboard to try to escape. I’ve got—ah, here he is.”

The portal to the chapel snapped back into place, and I took a limping step back as Hands stepped through.

“Hello, Oberon.”

“Double shit.”

--==