"Only you can save us, huh?" Alice asked sarcastically, tapping her chin. "Hmm, where have I heard that before? Oh, right, every wanna-be dictator ever." She said, looking me straight in the eyes.

I scowled, but she went on without waiting for a response. "Let's play out your plan for a second. Say you manage to make your pyramid scheme work, and most people escape the town within the time limit. Almost completely unprepared, 100,000 people walk out into no-one-knows-what. Forest, field, or road, 100,000 people suddenly need food, shelter, and water. Some few might think to bring supplies, but many won't. How many will be injured, young, or otherwise in need of significant assistance? Is passing normally on the outside? If the country has finished collapsing in the months we've been in the Vortex, we could easily find ourselves with no support and no one to turn to. No one except you."

It was something I knew but not something I could do much about, not alone anyway. I'd just have to make sure people packed essentials. Some stuff could be stored in my Shadow Alcove until we started evacuating.

"So now 100,000 people are looking to you for food, water, shelter, reassurance, direction, control. Even if you could organize all that in any kind of meaningful time frame—and you'll forgive me if I have my doubts— you'd be just that much more of an autocrat. But again, I don't think you could get everyone organized before 100,000 people shattered into bands of people desperately searching for clean water and food. Disease, dehydration, and starvation would kill thousands, maybe tens of thousands. At first, people might work together for the good of all, but how long before desperation and tribalism bring conflict and violence? Even if you rescue every soul in Forest Lake, will even half of them survive a year?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I wrote in all caps before taking a steadying breath. "And whatever you think, I don't plan to take charge. There are civil authorities, even the Sheriff's people, that are better equipped to handle that situation. I can take steps to prepare supplies; I'm happy to get your insights, but at the end of the day, I'm still the one stuck making the decisions. I have to do what I think is right. I have to give as many people a chance as I can. If I have to do that without you, without Luke and his patrons, well then I will. It just sucks; I thought we were becoming friends."

"I don't like anyone enough to let them have absolute control, Sam."

"I'm not after control. I'm not after power. For fuck sake, Alice, I can literally use emotional glamours to make people agree with me, and I've barely touched the skill."

"But you have touched it. Maybe you had to, I don't know the details. My concern is that you're approaching this as the ends justifying the means. How long before you're leaning on that kind of mind control and saying it's 'for their own good?'"

I groaned, wondering why I even brought up emotional glamour. "I'm overstating how powerful it is. It's not mind control; it's quick-cast hypnosis at best. I was trying to point out that I've avoided even that much in most cases. And yes, if using my emotional hypnosis can save lives from this place, I will likely use it. The ends may not justify the means, but the end is coming and fast. You're approaching this as if the end is unimportant. 'It's about the journey, not the destination' is a great philosophy when you aren't talking about tens of thousands of people, many children, being destroyed, or worse, trapped in a nightmare limbo."

Both Alice and I were standing rigidly, tense and uncomfortable, a hair's breadth from squaring off. I looked away first, turned my back on another friend, and began to walk away, pointing at my speech bubble. "Alice, thanks for telling me about the memory types. Have fun getting your toes curled by Luke or whatever."

"Oh Fuck you," Alice yelled after me.

I groaned internally again, pausing without turning around. I shouldn't have said that. It wasn't fair, and it didn't even matter. I doubted I was wrong, but I also doubted it had anything to do with Alice's opposition.

"Sorry," I wrote in the speech bubble, still not looking back. "When you all want to leave, the escape hatch will be open for you. But I'm not sticking around to watch this science experiment crash and burn. For what it's worth, I genuinely wish you luck. I'd love for this not to be on me, but organizations move too slowly and are too easy to corrupt. I don't know what things are like on the outside. Despite your words, neither do you. But I know anyone stuck in Forest Lake in a year has no chance whatsoever. Good luck at the new hospital; I'm sure they'll be glad for the help."

"Ass," Alice grumbled as I resumed walking away.

I glanced over at the Gremlins, needing some emotional support. I wished they were dancing around and being goofy, begging me to draw them pictures; it was good for the heart to see that kind of uninhibited joy.

Instead, the Gremlins were in an unconscious sprawl, cuddled close to each other. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen to them when we left. Could I bring them out with me? Should I? Rather than bolster my mood, it just added another weight for me to carry.

Fuck I swore to myself. I'd forgotten that I had the Trauma bear's memory crystal. I didn't want to leave without asking them if they could do something with it.

In a weird way, I didn't want to admit to Alice that I'd taken the time trying to save people from one monster. She'd definitely approve. I didn't really regret it, but I also knew I couldn't afford to keep acting that short-sighted. It wasn't me who would pay the price for not thinking long-term.

Still, I couldn't just leave. Gritting my teeth, I asked Alice if she was going to stay with the Gremlins for a bit.

"Jessica has an electric car; it's quiet enough that she doesn't draw in monsters. She's coming around to pick me up soon."

Alice had said she'd delivered the baby in previous loops. "Will the Gremlins wake up before you go?" I put in the speech bubble.

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"Probably. I'm sure you've noticed, but they aren't trapped in the time loop in the same way. They don't seem to lose memories, which is one thing, but they can make permanent changes too, like that Shack. They aren't building that over and over. They built it once, and it sticks around."

I opened my Shadow and stepped inside. "Yeah, that's kind of related to why I ask," I spoke automatically, if awkwardly, as my body returned to my preferred human shape.

As I picked up the bear's memory crystal, I continued unthinkingly. "I want to know if the Gremlins can stop this monster from spawning again." Then I huffed, remembering that my words would sound like gibberish to anyone but Sori.

Before I could make a speech bubble, translating my own words, Alice answered.

"Yikes. Must have been bad if even y—It must have been bad."

I scowled, looking out from the Shadow. "Wait, you can understand me?"

"Yes?" Alice answered. "That's not new, though."

"That fucking eyeball. It told me my words would sound like gibberish without Nia to act as my voice."

"Oh," Alice said, sounding uncertain. "I remember you told me that one of the reasons Nia was staying with Hands was so that you'd have access to her voice, somehow, and that there was a time you couldn't even write or gesture coherently without her. But you were able to use gestures and the speech bubble text. That means she's ok, right?"

I sighed, remembering how I'd been surprised more than once by my relatively improved communication skills compared to the start of the apocalypse.

"I don't know. I'll be having a chat with Hands next. I'll let you know if I find out anything. She'll be fine, though, I promise," I said with as much sincerity as I could manage. I couldn't afford to save everyone from everything, but I'd draw the line at Nia. She'd been through enough, and I'd asked too much already. I'd make sure she was safe, at any cost. I'd made that as clear as possible to both Sori and Hands. I just hoped they weren't calling my bluff.

"Can you please ask the Gremlins if they can do anything with the crystal to stop its monster from respawning?" I asked, tossing the memory crystal out of the Alcove, where Alice caught it deftly.

"Its not wrong you know, helping whoever was being attacked by the monster with that crystal. Helping Nia. It's important." Alice said, her voice soft, entreating.

"I know," I said. "It's not the help that's wrong. It's the cost that others will have to pay, but I won't. Every person left behind when we evacuate is a price—a debt—one I can't repay. I know that the struggle for survival will just be getting started when we escape Forest Lake. Before getting trapped here, I was planning on heading to a cabin with Jon, where I fully expected to spend the rest of my life living off the land. If there isn't surviving infrastructure to help us, many will die—maybe even most. But it's the only chance I can give them. I really, really do wish you luck with your organization. You have 48 weeks to collect people. I want to start evacuating in earnest in 23 weeks, aiming to walk at least 500 people out a day. For now, we'll plan to use the Filton as the evacuation spot. Hands can use his Dreamers to help organize things."

"How does this escape actually work? I've seen the emergency exit; it can't hold 500 people, let alone tens of thousands."

"I guess we'll see. According to Sori, everyone will be in stasis until it lets them out. Then again, it's a compulsive liar, so there's no way to know for sure."

"Then why are you putting so much stock in its words?"

"I don't trust it—if that's what you mean—but I can't afford to ignore it when it says it will eradicate everything. We saw what happened in California. There was nothing left, not even topsoil. That's what Sori will do to Forest Lake if I stay. It might do it even if I leave. And if it doesn't, it will only be to make the time loop permanent and perfect, transforming Forest Lake into Sori's own personal snowglobe where nothing can ever change. A perpetual limbo of useless desperation and struggle. I can't afford to dismiss either scenario as an empty threat. There's also the fact that Hands believes Sori is being honest about the way out anyway, and he's determined to leave with or without my willing participation. That's why he took guardianship of Nia; she's a hostage as much as my voice."

"She was a hostage," Alice corrected gently. "If you don't have her voice, it seems like she might not be anymore. Maybe it's time to stop listening to the things you know are lying to you, even if it's scary or dangerous. Maybe we can find our own way. That has to be worth the risk. If you follow your fear, only terrorists win."

"And if you follow your hopes, you die delusional."

"everyone dies."

"Oh, I know, I've done it several times personally. I'm just hoping to drag as few as possible along with me the final time."

"I hate this. I know what I said about Luke's brother wasn't fair. I know it was only because of you the Gremlins started taming that Bunny monster." She held up the baseball-sized memory crystal from the Trauma Bear. "I know you try to stop suffering. We should be working together, Sam-"

"Call me Oberon, Alice." I interrupted her, anger and frustration at everyone and everything, turning my resigned tone hard. "I don't get to be some average guy doing his best to defy the odds. You don't need me for that anyway. You do your best for both of us, and I'll do what needs to be done for everyone else. I'll let you know about your sister. Otherwise. Good luck." I walked out of the Alcove and back into my werewolf form, Alice's eyes following me in concern as I walked past.

"Good luck," I heard her say softly behind me. Still, I didn't turn around even as my heart sank in my chest, aching with a cold isolation I couldn't quite convince myself was necessary.