---=Chapter 64: Use It---=

I loaded the last loose shell I had left into the shotgun, leaving me with two total shots left. I'd used half my ammunition just getting past Jon.

I shivered, not looking up to the landing where his body lay. I could hear the sound of blood beginning to drip, one drop at a time, down the steps.

Two shells wouldn't go far. I considered going back for Jon's pistol. How many times had he shot? Four or five? Jon had taken me shooting, but I didn't remember how many bullets the gun could hold. I also had no way of knowing how many he'd used before confronting me. For all I knew, the gun was empty.

Even if I had it, I wasn't exactly practiced with a gun. Jon had shot at me several times before I even knew he was there, and he'd only hit me once. Sure, he'd been at an awkward angle and was seeing me for the first time—from his point of view—so he was probably at least a little shocked. It was still unlikely my accuracy would be any better.

I knew from Nia's memories that at least some of the cultists were ready to respond at Kay's command, but that didn't mean there wouldn't be innocents around that I might accidentally hit if I started shooting wildly.

I was trying to rationalize my reluctance to claim Jon's gun. The truth was, I didn't want to use either weapon, but I especially didn't want to 'loot' Jon's corpse like this was just some video game, respawns or not.

That didn't stop me from trying to take comfort in the fact that we were in a time loop, that he'd be fine and without even the memory of our fight. Unfortunately, that reminder wasn't relieving so much as it was infuriating. It made everything I was sacrificing—everything I was feeling—seem worthless.

I really couldn't afford to get hung up on that, though. I couldn't hold back. Jon wasn't even my first kill. That had been one of Hands's goons; I was pretty sure his name was Larry, and it had barely haunted me. Not that there'd been much time to lament my loss of innocence. And there still wasn't.

"Fuck!" I swore, but the middle schooler's voice couldn't pack the word with the weight of all that I felt. I hurried back up the steps to Jon's body.

If I gave their group any more time to prepare, they could circle around from the second floor, making it even dumber to leave Jon's gun behind—no need to arm my enemies.

I held my breath and avoided looking at Jon's face, but the sticky mess that was his body was still disturbing. The gun sat in the puddle of his blood—he was half lying on it. I just stared at it for long seconds, unable to stop hearing his gurgling struggle for breath as he succumbed to the grotesquerie I'd made of his torso.

In a swift motion, I pulled the gun free and frantically wiped off as much of the blood as possible onto Jon's pants. My movements were panicked and hurried; everything in me screamed that I didn't want this. I would have made an easy target if someone had chosen that moment to attack. As soon as I got most of the blood wiped off, I shoved the gun in my pocket and threw up over the rail.

Trembling, I walked back down the stairs; the smell of vomit joined the smell of blood in ruining my mind-clearing deep breaths.

"Use it use it use it!" I growled, trying to turn my turmoil into anger. And I was angry. I was going to make Kay pay for turning Jon against me, for betraying her daughters, for making me go through all this in the first place.

All I'd wanted was to quietly live my life with the people I cared about. Even before the apocalypse, I just created silly comics and tried to stay out of the way of more important things. My big plan when the world ended was to basically do that same thing but with more subsistence farming. Even that was Jon's plan as much as mine. And since we'd become trapped in the time loop, I'd mainly just wanted to make sure my friend was okay and that people wouldn't attack me because of how I looked.

I forced myself to take deep breaths, putrid though they were. I needed to focus, to be, if not calm, at least clear-headed. I returned the memory crystal to my hand and prepared to focus on it as though adding a visualization. I also prepared a glamour.

I'd only be able to use it on one person at a time, but if I needed magic to make people hiding and huddling in a church afraid of me, I'd eat my pants. The trick would be using Glamour on the right person. Arguably, that should probably be Buck; he was the only other one I'd seen with a gun, not counting Guy's tranq gun. I'd have to hope Guy had control of his own body and tranqs this loop.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

In reality, I couldn't afford to use Glamour to keep myself safe. I wasn't going in there to massacre those people; I was going in to take back control of my Shadow, my memories, and, hopefully, my body. Which meant the first target of my Glamour would need to be Kay.

Standing with my back against the wall beside the door to the first floor, I turned the door handle and pushed it open without looking. I half expected shots to ring out as soon as the door started to swing open. When things remained quiet, I poked my head out just far enough to check for other gunmen.

The hall was clear, which was good. It gave me one more tool I could use.

Checking the hall more carefully, I left the stairwell. As I'd seen on the map, the chapel was the next door to my right. Gently, I knocked on the door.

"Hello? Is it safe? Can I come in?" I asked softly, trying to sound like a scared kid. The quiver in my voice was real, and I had Nia's voice, so it should sound pretty convincing.

"Begone demon. I already know my daughter's been possessed. You've stolen the light of my heart, but I won't let you in to corrupt these good men and women."

I heard another voice say something, but I couldn't make out the words. They sounded like they might be disagreeing, though.

I put my back against the wall beside the door again, trusting the brick to shield me from any bullets. Reaching out, I tried the handle, but the door was locked.

I felt gross doing it, but I kept the charade up. "Please, Mommy, I think there's something out here! Please open the door!"

My act wasn't for Pastor Kay. From what I'd seen in Nia's memories—and from what I'd been able to sift from Sori's rambling and unreliable explanations— Kay was out of her mind.

Whatever the trauma monsters were, wherever they came from, Kay's was calling the shots for her. Just seeing Nia as 'Titania' had set her off, and I'd seen cosplay at least as realistic. Instead, my act was for the cultists, Alice's group, and anyone else sheltering inside who might not be totally sold on Kay's religious tripe.

"Denis! stop!" I heard Kay hiss on the other side of the door.

"But that's your daughter?" Denis said, and I heard the lock turn.

"I said-" But she was too slow. Turning the handle, I shoved the door open. I felt it collide with something, presumably Denis, but I'd used enough force to knock him aside. Forging a connection with the palmed memory crystal, I tossed it into the room without looking.

When Hands had used this method on me, he was tricking me into changing my spawn point. It was a trap to put me under his control. When I'd used this trick on Nia, I was trying to change her spawn point to somewhere safe. This time, I didn't care about changing anyone's spawn point; I just needed the distraction.

As had been true in each previous case, all eyes tracked the memory crystal as though it was the most beautiful thing in existence, as though it were holy.

It wasn't, and I followed a heartbeat behind it. I stepped into the doorway, shotgun at the ready against my shoulder.

The chapel had stackable convention-style chairs on one half of the room and a podium and projector screen on the other. They had moved most of the chairs aside, and a dozen or so people knelt huddled together. Denis was sprawled on the floor and the only one not watching the memory crystal—at least the only one with an aura. Presumably, he'd been distracted by being knocked over. He stared at me with wide, fearful eyes, so I didn't bother dropping my Glamour on him.

Behind the podium, tied to a chair, was Anderson. There was a gurney poking out from behind the projector screen. Based on the scrubs and shoes, I couldn't be sure, but I thought it was Alice. Jessica and Maebe sat unmoving beside the podium, completely lacking auras and expressions. Standing at the podium itself was a wild-eyed Kay.

Her jaw was clenched, and rage filled her expression as her eyes darted from the memory crystal to me. It was maybe the first time I'd actually seen a person gnash their teeth. "Oberon!" She hissed, "Kill it!"

I unleashed my terror-Glamour on her, and I saw the blood drain from her face before she turned and fled behind the screen. I pulled the trigger on the shotgun, trying to track her as she ran.

I had to aim high because of the catatonic Jessica and Maebe, so I missed her, but it was fine. I'd never intended to hit with the first shot anyway. I just needed to chase the thief into my Shadow. Her aura, which seemed even larger in real life, vanished as she entered the ether through my Shadow.

In her absence, the room seemed to actually dim, and then everyone moved at once.

---=

--=-