---=Chapter 37: Why Are You Standing---=

It was the first time I'd tried to leave the Ether without Sori's help. I was close enough to the roiling waves of plasma to feel a hum of power on my skin like a static charge. Then, like an epiphany, my awareness slipped out of the Ether and back into my unconscious body and a dreamless sleep.

As I came awake, I was vaguely aware of someone moving around nearby, but not who they were or what they were doing. I heard footsteps and the sound of a door opening and closing before I was awake enough to so much as open my eyes.

With an inward groan, I stretched as sensation returned. I was sprawled out on a gurney that was much too small for me. I tried to open my eyes, but the fluorescent lights jabbed at them, and I threw a hairy arm across my face defensively.

Slowly, I sat up and turned so my legs hung from the bed. For a minute, I sat there, bent over, hands on my knees, head hanging loosely from my neck. I stayed in that position, taking slow, deep breaths, my chest still aching from whatever Denis gave me.

Everything ached, not just my chest, but since I had to keep breathing, my chest and my head were complaining the loudest.

Fucking Denis

Tentatively, I opened my eyes, and the light only stabbed them a little less. It wasn't especially bright; in fact, all but one of the lights were off.

Taking a moment to look around, I recognized the Surgery waiting room Alice and Company had been holed up in earlier. They weren't here now, and I wasn't sure what to think about that. After all, I wasn't alone; they'd left me here with their unconscious aura-less surgery patient. He wasn't connected to the IV or heart monitor, so maybe they weren't concerned about him. Still, you'd think it would be important to monitor any surgery patient, especially a patient whose brain surgery had ended so abruptly.

The long minutes of pain and fear before I'd lost consciousness were fuzzy, but I was pretty sure Nia was supposed to be keeping watch. Then again, Maebe was gone too, so something might have happened.

I was also pretty sure someone had just been in here, so maybe they didn't need to keep that close an eye on either of us. Then again, they might just be afraid to be around when I woke up. Denis had betrayed me, and they didn't know how I'd react.

I hoped it wasn't out of fear. I'd been making some connections with them. Communication was limited, but there had been playful moments. At one point, Anderson pointed out that, if I was a supervillain, my henchmen might dress in scrubs just like our group. It led to some of us posing in a locker room mirror. For a moment, I'd actually had fun.

All of that had come to an end when Denis had jabbed me with that needle. He was wary from the beginning and never really warmed up to me. I don't know if he had that planned the whole time, but, in retrospect, it wasn't especially surprising.

I wasn't exactly Denis's biggest fan either, but admittedly, that was primarily because of his reaction to me. If he weren't so hateful, he might be pleasant.

Trust is tricky, and I can hardly throw stones at anyone else's trust issues. Still, it wasn't just Denis's betrayal that hurt; it was how the others reacted to it.

They all seemed to think Denis's actions might unleash my inner monster. I doubted they'd have felt the same fear if I still had a human body. I was pissed at Denis and wouldn't be putting my back to him anytime soon, but I wasn't about to maul him or anything.

They were good people overall, even if Denis made me want to add a bunch of caveats. Most of them had been willing to extend me trust, but that didn't stop them from seeing me as a danger first and a person second. Looking around the empty waiting room, I couldn't help but think that was why no one was in the room. Had they seen me rousing and left until they could be sure I wasn't rabid?

This room clearly wasn't meant for patients in hospital beds, even if one of them was just a gurney. It was a small waiting room for one or two small groups to wait for news of a loved one in surgery. It would probably have been cozy if it wasn't just me and the soul-less guy. Alice and company had likely holed up here because it could be closed off and was more comfortable for their group than a surgery room would be.

There was a recovery room, but it was in Crowseph's territory. They probably chose this room for their own sakes but had abandoned it because they weren't sure how I'd react when I woke up. Then again, maybe they were still out clearing rooms or were just trying to let me rest.

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Denis had been the one to give me that unnecessary bit of uncertainty, and I'd love to smack him for it.

Not that I would, probably, but my jaw clenched hard enough that it hurt when I thought about him.

I needed to get moving. The best thing I could do was get myself up so the next person who came in wouldn't have to feel that uncertainty. I was wearing my mask, but they'd taken my lab coat off at some point. That had been an act of brave kindness on someone's part.

Pushing myself slowly off the bed, I stood and shuffled over to a nearby chair where I'd spotted the coat. My notebook was missing, and I didn't know if it was intentional or not. I had another in my bag, but my backpack and bat were nowhere to be seen.

Lovely.

The room wasn't large, and it only took a second to be sure my bag and club hadn't been tucked away behind something. I did come across Anderson's hat under my gurney. So That made me feel a bit better.

Not seeing my stuff, I looked around for replacements but couldn't find so much as a pen. I eyed the chairs and considered bringing one with me as a weapon. My limbs still felt weak, however, and I wasn't confident I'd make it very far carrying it around. Then again, if I got dizzy and needed to sit, it would be right there.

Even the comic I'd tucked under my pillow before I'd lost consciousness was gone. I remembered how upset Nia was and hoped she hadn't taken it back to do something foolish. Alice would no doubt make sure she stayed nearby, so I wasn't too worried she'd go after Tickles. I mainly wanted to know why they'd taken all my stuff. The baseball bat I kind of understood, even if I didn't like it. If I woke up pissed and came at Denis, it would be best if they had weapons and I didn't.

I'd given Nia the bag to hold onto, and it was just filled with a few supplies for a road trip. It was a better weapon than nothing. But I couldn't imagine they'd look at it as anything more than supplies. That might actually answer the question of why they'd taken it. Between the snacks and puzzle books, they might just be occupying some time trying not to worry about trauma monsters or murderous crows.

With no weapon or way to communicate, I was unsure of what step to take next. I could still use emotional glamour, and I considered what face to present.

That was what Denis really took. I had been on the path to being treated as just another person, even without the illusion, and now I was back at step 1.

When I was in high school, I joined an improv group that did street performances in The City and had a lot of fun doing it. I'd run around as Spider-Man and Peter Pan and a dozen types of zombies. It was the first time I'd really stepped outside of my shell, and I loved all of it. It was the part of myself I'd been dipping into since all this started. The glamours were like that. They let me put on a mask and play a role.

But even in that improv group, I'd always relished coming home and removing the mask. It's fun to bask in the spotlight, but the weight of people's attention is heavy, and I'm an introvert in my core.

It had been easy at first, fun even, to throw on a cape and overact, to put on a character that fit my appearance. And then I'd been mauled, threatened, shot multiple times, and drugged. I'd watched people die and seen people I saved run from me in fear. I was utterly drained and being told the show must go on. Thanks to Denis, it must, even though all I wanted to do was go home, take off the mask, and just exist.

Fucking Denis, I cursed him again but wasn't sure how I'd handle him in the future.

I was maybe blaming Denis more than he deserved, but he'd stopped me from being treated as a person by making me a threat. The others had immediately stepped in to help, but it wasn't just because I was a person deserving of help. It was because Denis might be right that I was a threat. Their fear wouldn't let me just be.

Here I was, without help or a weapon to face the unknown. The best option I had for defense was an unwieldy plastic and wire-frame chair. It wouldn't exactly lend itself to presenting me as a subtle and civilized being. I was going to have to risk wandering the halls bare-handed.

I just knew I would end up getting mauled again.

More like 'bear' handed, I joked to myself, looking at my furry hands. Honestly, they were enormous, and it wasn't any wonder people found me intimidating. That only made it all the more frustrating that Denis had underscored that fear. The others really had been relaxing around me for a minute.

Sighing again, I put the Tam O'Shanter back on my head. Well, if I was going to ham it up, I'd look cool doing it.

I was reaching for the door when the handle turned, and the door pushed in toward me. I quickly stepped back as Jessica slipped in without looking. She closed the door quietly before turning around and yelping in surprise when she noticed me.

"Ohmygod," She said in one word, a hand going to her throat. "Oh Sam, geez, you surprised me. Nia told me you were still unconscious. Why are you standing, though? Take it easy. Here, sit down." She said, moving toward me and trying to guide me to a seat.

I was taken aback. Moment of surprise aside, she certainly wasn't acting afraid.

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