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B2: Chapter 38: "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things"

B2: Chapter 38: "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things"

With the Song “All Star” from Smashmouth blasting and the Demon chasing after him Ryan starts hauling ass south-west. With the song blasting all around him he starts swerving and avoiding incoming meteors like mortars that this thing was launching out at him.

After dodging six rounds, he cranks down on the kite and starts going as fast as he can while this pissed off mountain pursues him. He was mildly laughing at this song and at his situation while he had this thing in pursuit of him. He maintains the perfect balance of staying out of its attack range, and also staying in range of his Aggro Curse. He then takes one hand off the bar and pushes the talk button on the side of the Communication Crystal that was in his ear and starts calling Queen Lake.

“This is Dumpster Fire Five Actual; I got your package inbound. ETA is five hours.” Ryan called to her.

“Ten Four Dumpster Fire Five get that thing over here as fast as you can.” Queen Lake replied to him while looking at the war zone ahead of her.

She was with King Joe and Dark Master Oz who were standing two miles away from the town of Melonie and she was watching King Joe’s forces move the stolen Spell Amplifier weapon to the walls of the town. The ground was rumbling with fire blasts and spell bombs coming from the anarchy forces that could be felt in the air. They all watch with their binoculars. Their forces set the tower up outside the range of the archers and watch their mages channel destruction spells into the bottom chute of the weapon. They see the Staugonuim teleport the incoming spell beams up top and see the spells bounce off the Wyonuim dish at high speed and fly towards the wall of the city. They then see the frontal wall where the beam landed and disintegrated which offered an entrance way into the city. But before they were able to fire another shot at the wall, a Magical cannon on top of the wall fires a shot at the Amplification tower and blasts it into a hundred pieces.

“Oh No! They have cannons!” Queen Lake screamed in shock. As soon as she said that a bombing dragon squadron from Athens arrives in the distance and proceeds to bombard the city’s walls. As soon as they dive down to attack, mages in the heart of the city sync up a spell and cast a Bubble around the city. The spell then reflects the attacks the bombing squadron were casting right back at them and blasts the dragons out of the sky.

“Oh Damn! That’s going to hurt.” Dark master Oz said while looking at five of the bombing dragons crash into the heart of the city.

“Yep, those pilots if they are not dead from the landing, will be dead in about 30 seconds.” King Joe said while looking at the wall.

King Joe sees an arcane mage from one of the bomber dragons that jumped off gliding toward the cannon that was on top of the wall. She had a bomb in her hand, and she was headed toward the cannon that blew up their stolen spell tower. The woman lands and then was shot by 3 arrows in the chest. She then lights the fuse on the bomb and throws it at the cannon as a nearby rogue jumps her from the side and slits her throat.

At this instant, the bomb ignites and sends the cannon exploding into huge shards like broken pottery. A General from the wall gets angry that their only cannon they had was down and orders them to bring out their other siege weapons. Minutes later a massive fireball can be seen launching from a Trebuchet from inside the city toward the congregation of Ally soldiers on the outside of the city to get them to stay back away.

As they started sending out volleys of fireballs to keep the sieging army away from them, Dark Master Oz sees a 12-year-old boy getting teleported out of the rear of the city. Dark Master Oz sees the kid and casts an Intercept spell on the portal he was walking through two miles away. Dark Master Oz then opens up the portal and walks through it without telling the others his plans.

Meanwhile Ryan has already lured Metourum about 15 miles away from his starting zone. Feeling hot Ryan then Radios into Queen Lake.

“Hey, you don’t think you can get me some water, can you?” Ryan replied to her while he had the song “Ohioisonfire” from Of Mice And Men blasting on god mode.

“Yes, we can, where are you at right now?” Queen Lake replies to him while sitting on the ground next to King Joe.

“Seven miles northeast of some weird town called Butts.” He replied to her.

“What a coincidence, Dark Master Oz just captured a messenger boy. We may have to reroute you please hold tight.” She told him.

Ryan shakes his head violently to get the sweat of his face and just waits for her to get back to him.

Five minutes later she then chimes back in.

“Okay Ryan, here’s the deal. I’ll get you a support team down there in about three minutes but, we are definitely going to have to reroute you. Listen we just learned that five commanders from the Anarchy are having an unknown emergency meeting inside the city of Butts. They have a medium force there but if you can do us a favor and destroy them before they can leave that would be awesome.” She explained to him.

“On It, on my way to go destroy their butts.” He told her while laughing. Ryan pulls out his phone with one hand and keeps laughing at his luck.

Ryan then puts on the song “Bangarang” By Skrillex and changes course and looks back. He slows down and lets Metourum catch up to him while he keeps avoiding incoming mortars.

He keeps rolling for a few miles and sees an ally Rogue standing by a teleportation mage. She gets a running start and intercepts Ryan and jumps toward him while he was still rolling at around 25 miles an hour. Ryan braces for her and she hops on his back. The Rogue slides off her backpack and pours six bottles of water all down his back and then helps him drink three bottles of water by holding the bottle up while he focused on piloting the kite. She smiles at him and hops off and takes off sprinting 90 degrees away from the path of Metourum where her teleportation mage meets her and teleports her to safety.

Ryan then passes by an Eyeforian Priest who blesses him with [Iron Will] which boosts up his Vitality and then casts [Blue Light] which heals him from the heat damage he’s slowly been taking for the past 15 miles. As soon as Ryan was healed up, he felt recharged. Ryan passes by an Ice mage who starts casting an ice spell on him. The mage starts freezing the water that the Rogue poured all over him and it felt amazing to him. He now had a four-inch-thick ice plate covering his back that was protecting him from the radiating heat coming from behind him. Now that he had his very own temporary portable AC system on him, he clears his head and sees the town ahead of him.

Out of the blue, a volley of Arrows and magic spells start coming from the city and Ryan takes immediate action to avoid them.

Immediately after dodging a fire blast that exploded and kicked up dirt, Bangarang ended and the song “Dragula” From Rob Zombie starts playing on auto play. Ryan starts coordinating his kite and board and starts avoiding the incoming attacks coming his way.

From inside the city a ton of Commanders were freaking out.

“Everyone take up arms and take that asshole down! Don’t let what happed to Desteria happen here!” A commander screams while firing a thunderbolt up at Ryan’s kite.

“Wait, sir! The summoning ritual isn’t complete yet!” An older woman shouts while launching a volley of shadow spells at Ryan.

“We can restart the summoning ritual of the celestial witch Kansas later! Don’t let that psychopath through!” The lead commander screams while firing a ballista at Ryan.

Ryan who was blasting Dragula and keeping an eye on incoming spells kicks up his speed and keeps his kite low. He charges right on through the incoming barrage of spells that were flying in low, then takes one hand off his control bar and pulls out his Spell blade Nightfire. He looks up at the ballista bolt that was flying toward him and quickly casts [Void Blast] at it and blows it out of the sky. He spots another electric spell flying his way and then starts slewing his board wide to the right while bringing his kite down lower. The spell manages to hit his kite but the magic material it was made of reflects it off.

“Fuck ya! You aren’t going to Ben Franklin me today asshole!” Ryan screamed madly while cheering and avoiding the incoming spells coming his way.

Ryan then takes a deep breath and begins to skirt this thing around this small city. He was rolling to what felt like a warzone with bomb like explosions exploding around him.

“He’s getting closer! Come on kill that bastard! Don’t let him break through!” Another commander screams at the archers.

As he starts to near the city the intensity of incoming fire coming his way increased. Ryan gets hit in the arm with an arrow but doesn’t flinch. His adrenaline was pumping so hard that he grabbed the arrow and pulled it out of the top of his arm and threw it on the ground. As he makes his wide swing around the city he gets hit in the leg and in the shoulder but pulls those out and just keeps on rolling. As blood was pouring out of his wounds, he spots a cavalry of knights pursuing him on horseback that were coming out of the city.

Ryan smiles at them and then takes his Spell blade and can see more volleys of spells coming his way. Ryan sees a fastmoving firebolt coming his way and he casts [Void Blast] at it and detonates his spell in midflight blasting the firebolt out of the sky.

Ryan then sees the three Knights closing in on him. He fires up [Ball Lightning] in shock mode and launches it at them and detonates it in midflight. This stuns two of the knights and they fall off their horses. The other Knight who had his sword drawn back was getting ready to strike Ryan. Ryan smiles at this guy and laughs at him. He then starts leaning back on his board and casts [Drain Life] on the Knight and starts making him scream in agony. Ryan adjusts his speed to keep his distance from him while channeling [Drain Life] on that Knight and maintaining full control of flying his kite with his other hand.

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As he starts to heal up, the blood that was coming out of his wounds when he pulled out those arrows were starting to clot quickly. Ryan kept his distance from the Knight that he was sucking the life out of and when he gets back up to 75% health, he stops toying with him and then fires up [Ball Lighting] in stun mode and knocks him off his horse.

Ryan who was now rolling around the back side of the city was now adjusting his course away toward the left side of the city. Metourum who was about three quarters of a mile behind him adjusts its course to intercept Ryan and this makes him stomp right toward the city.

“No! No! No! You let him get away! You fucking cunts killed us all!” A commander screamed while he watches Metourum roar and charge toward the city. Metourum starts sending mortars into the city causing the archers and mages to try and flee but realize, there was no point. They all stood there in shame and heavy disappointment of their failure and just wait for death to take them.

As the demon charges through the city, Ryan shoots the town the bird and cheers. He then radios into Queen Lake while the song “California (Hustle and Flow)” from Social Distortion starts to auto play next.

“This is Dumpster Fire Five Actual, target is destroyed.” Ryan radios in laughing.

As soon as he said that, Ryan’s eyes start glowing blue and he starts to feel extreamly lightheaded. His eyes glow for a ten seconds and becomes temporarily blind for the longest ten seconds of his life.

“Ryan that is great news! Now get over here as quick as possible please.” Queen Lake radios back.

“I’m already on it. Remember this mountain only has a top speed of 15 miles an hour.” He called in.

“Oh, that’s really good to know.” She replied.

“Hey, can you give me another supply drop like you did? I need healing and some more water would be nice.” He tells her.

“Alright. I’ll get another a team headed out to you.” She said with a proud tone to her voice.

Ryan keeps rolling while jamming out to Social Distortion and pulls out his phone. He starts adjusting his course to Melonie and starts slowing down to keep him within the sweet spot range of not too far and not too close.

Two miles up ahead Ryan sees his support team.

With the song “Back on a Mission” From Cirrus playing. He started to feel sleepy since he has been up since 5am Landboarding. His arms and legs were sore as hell, but he still had another four hours of “Kiting” Metourum left.

A priest heals him up and another female rogue darts over to him and douses him with water. When she helps him drink the water Ryan smiles at her then she hops off and dashes toward a Teleportation mage. He passes an Ice mage that freezes the water she just poured on him. The first icy plate armor was 95% gone.

When that icy blast hit him, it felt so good. Hell, it felt even better than the priest healing him three minutes prior. Ryan takes a deep breath and keeps heading south-west and relies on his music to keep him awake. In his head he keeps reminding himself that he’s doing this to bring peace to the world.

About three hours later over near Melonie, Dark Master Oz was drinking tea two miles from the city with King Joe and Queen Lake. Liz was standing by Lake’s side and was being a little impatient. She then decided to call Ryan.

“Ryan, how far away are you?” She calls to him.

“I’m about ten miles away! I’m tired as fuck right now so make sure a have a clear path through there and an exit plan to escape this thing.” He shouts at her in a cranky tone.

“Alrighty we will be clearing you a path shortly.” She replied.

Queen Lake then looks at Oz and smiles. “He’s ready.” she tells Dark Master Oz.

She hands him her Radio Crystal and Dark master Oz teleports over to the warzone.

Oz starts slowly walking up to the wall of the city and Archers on the wall start firing arrows at him. Oz who wasn’t scared of them keeps walking to the wall with a badass walk. Oz who was looking at the Shadow Priest General, who resembled Rob Halford from Judas Priest, and just smiles at him while he was just sitting up on the wall.

Dark Master Oz then then smiles back at him shakes his head at him.

“Here we are again Robert. You stole another town and are trapped. Why don’t you just give up?” Oz shouts at him calmly. As soon as he said that an Archer shoots an arrow at Oz and hits him in the foot. Oz removes the arrow and his blood spills onto the grass and a loud sizzling acid like sound can be heard devouring the grass.

“Oz If you think we are giving up so easy than you got another thing coming!” Robert screams at him.

“Mate, I highly suggest you surrender. You all have caused too much devastation and chaos around the world. We are all tired of it. Now I highly suggest you give the order to surrender and come out peacefully.” Dark Master Oz told him holding the arrow in his hand.

“That ain’t happening friend. We aren’t going down without a fight.” Robert yells at him from on top of the wall.

“Bloody listen to me mate. It’s in all of your best interests to surrender now. You really don’t what we are going to do to you. The world has had enough of your shit. You have kids in your ranks that don’t know better and are blindly following your orders. Surrender now and no one has to die.” Dark Master Oz told him with extreme concern.

“There will be no surrender. We will fight till the end!” Robert screams at him.

Oz shakes his head and throws his hands up in frustration. He throws the arrow that he was shot with back to the archer.

“Here you go mate. You may need this.” Oz told the archer politely Oz then walks away from the wall as all the archers stood there in confusion.

Oz puts the communication crystal in his ear and contacts Ryan.

“Ryan, how close are you?” He asks.

“Three miles away. I’m crossing the Eyefore/Sivika Border right now.” Ryan replies to him.

“Okay son. Since you’re a bard, when you come over that ridge, I want you to be playing something that will strike the heart of our enemies.” Oz tells him while walking back to the wall in frustration.

“Sir, I’m NOT a bard. I’m a Blackfire Battle Mage” Ryan replies back to him seeming a little annoyed.

“Son If I say you’re a bard, you’re a bloody bard. Now do what I say.” Oz tells him over the radio.

Ryan removes one of his hands from the kite control bar and then starts looking for a song to play to please his class master. Ryan scrolls through his list and doesn’t have to go far. He finds the perfect song. He places the volume of his phone on God Mode Volume.

Everyone could feel the earth shaking and could see Ryan rolling in the distance with what looked like a weird early sunrise like effect coming from the night sky while he races down a hill with his kite up in the air and the song: “My Jekyll doesn’t Hide” From Ozzy Osbourne blasting at god fearing levels.

A few generals on the wall feel the music in the air and their hearts start to beat fast.

“Why do I hear Boss Music?” Robert asks one of his commanders in a troubled tone. As soon as he said that they see Metourum pop up over in the distance and everyone starts losing their shit.

Dark Master Oz then laughs at everyone on the wall and everyone starts firing spells toward Ryan in a panic. Dark Master Oz then looks at the arrow that he threw up on the wall that was coated in his blood. Dark Master Oz then snaps his fingers and his blood then explodes violently like Napalm and sets fifteen archers on fire. That’s when the Ally Forces start bombing the frontal wall with their magic spells and their arrows. They bomb the frontal wall the best they could for about a minute in a half before running away in fear as they see Metourum headed their way.

Ryan on the other hand who was being bombed by spells from the defenders on the east side of the city wall just screams in madness as he starts blasting spells and arrows out of the sky with [Void Blast].

As he approaches the city people start trying to hit him with the wall mounted ballista’s, but Dark Master Oz shoots the bolts out of the sky with his Shadow Laser that he could fire out of his mouth. As the town starts to sound their raid horn, Ryan keeps his eyes on the prize. As he starts trying to dodge attacks, someone gets smart and aims for his kite. Somone shoots his kite with an arrow and cuts one of his bridal lines. The kite then falls out of sky and Ryan throws the control bar away from him. He fires up [Ball Lightning] in fire mode and uses the spell to propel him on his board. Ryan immediately starts blasting forward and leads the pissed off mounting to the city where all hell breaks loose. He starts getting hit with spells and arrows but doesn’t care. He stays focused on getting this thing to charge through the town. Ryan sees what he is going to do. He’s going as fast as he can and charges right through a hole in the wall and starts rolling through the middle of town.

As soon as he enters the town, he starts getting blasted with ice spells. Ryan takes a few ice shards that were shot into his leg and places them in his mouth. He removes an arrow that he was shot with that was barley piecing his shoe and starts to feel the pain coming. He quickly casts [Detonate] ahead of him with one hand while the other hand kept blasting [Ball Lighting] in Jet mode blasting five people out of his way. He then selects a woman that was knocked out of his path and targets her with [Drain Life] and starts making her scream in a weird pleasurable like way. This freaks him out and he switches targets immediately and starts sucking the life out of a man that was just now getting back on his feet. He starts making him scream and Ryan smiles.

“Ahh much better.” Ryan thinks to himself.

As he flies down the center of the city the ice shards he put in his mouth were melting quickly and he starts drinking the water which was mildly helping him keep his mana up while he was burning [Ball Lightning] In jet mode.

He takes one hand and fires [Void Blast] ahead of him and takes out a man with a crossbow that was aiming at him. He then sees an electric bolt coming his way and quickly casts [Void Blast] again and blasts that spell out of the sky. Ryan reaches the other side of the city’s wall which was a dead end for him and quickly hops off his board. He runs up the walls access stairs and takes out his sword quickly attacking the people that were after him. He stabs a man in the arm and kicks him off the stairs and then grabs a woman who was coming at him with a two-hand sword grabs her hair and pulls her face down. Ryan slips past her and climbs up top of the wall and sees an archer aiming at him. He ducks down quickly as the man fires and the arrow misses him and hits a man behind him instead. Ryan picks up his sword and charges at him and stabs him in the stomach. He takes out his phone and activates the slow fall widget on it. Strapping his board to his feet he jumps off the 20-foot-high wall and glides down the other side as Metourum starts barreling through the front of the city. As he starts gliding down, Ryan starts burning [Ball Lightning] in jet mode and gets flying down and away from the city as fast as he could. Out of the blue a Teleportation mage appears in front of Ryan grabs his attention. Ryan then kills his spell and grabs this man’s hand. He Teleports Ryan five miles away from the city.

Immediately upon arrival to the military camp five miles away, they all look over at Metourum who was pissed that Ryan got away and can hear it screaming in a demonic rage. It then starts preparing for its exit spell. It starts glowing extreamly hot while screaming in rage and lets out an explosive nuclear like explosion upon the town. Everyone in the camp covers their eyes with their hands as the bright explosion turned the night sky into day for 20 seconds.

Ryan cheers after completing the mission, and everyone starts cheering at him.

Inside his head he then gets a message.

[Quest Complete! “Butt Destroyer” Destroy the town of Butts]

[Quest Complete! “Follow Me Down” Destroy the Town of Melonie]

[You have earned the Achievement: Kite Master: World Champion]

Then without warning Ryan’s eyes glow bright blue again, this time glowing for 25 seconds. This Blinds him again but when his vision comes back to him, he gets an alert on his phone:

Congratulations! You have now reached Legend Status in Eyefore!

Congratulations! You are now Revered in Tourterra!

Congratulations! You are now Revered in Faterra!

Congratulations! You are now Revered in Wyozonia!

Congratulations! You are now Friendly in Sivika!

Congratulations! You are now Revered in Gnillàf!

Congratulations! You are now Revered with Deland!

Congratulations! You are now Revered with Ala-Ash!”

When Ryan read that he jumped in joy and cheered. Ryan then bursts into a happy dance and then gets another alert on his phone.

“Congratulations! You have reached Terrorist Status with the Disturbia Anarchy!”

“Wait, huh?” Ryan said in confusion while reading the new alert on his phone as everyone in the camp starts to surround him and pick him up in the air and starts cheering at him.

Everyone keeps cheering at him and carries him on over to Queen Lake and King Joe who were standing by Zephyr, Kannell, and Liz who all looked extremely impressed. They put him on the ground and then Dark Master Oz comes teleporting in behind them clapping his hands at Ryan.