THE FINE LINE BETWEEN DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES

Shinji carefully finished the Tamago Kake gohan dish. He carefully cracked the raw egg over the warm rice, then gently put it on the breakfast tray next to his. Kaworu wasn’t up yet he was still sleeping. He wanted to cheer him up since he couldn’t go in to work today.

There was also a Nerv security car parked outside the apartment and he knew why. It was there it was to get of rid of any press who wanted to gather outside, even though they’d been trying but not been successful. Kaworu had just crashed in his bed falling to sleep instantly last night, clearly this was the last part of the drug doing its job and Maya had said he would be really tired and need plenty of sleep to recover fully.

He breathed in he’d made sure his breakfast was larger than normal as he had missed eating out last night as he’d said he just didn’t feel like eating. Maybe later he’d also want to eat his chocolate and to have some of the alcohol that Mari had brought him. He had laid all the gifts on his side of the bed, so he’d wake up to them

He picked up the tray walking slowly in to the bedroom as he opened the blind then he carefully placed the food on the bed as he leaned over shaking the other man gently. “Kaworu.”

He watched as the other man groaned pushing his head further in to the pillow as he half mumbled something which was in Slavic, which he couldn’t understand. He shook him again. “Hey Kaworu I got you breakfast.” He watched as Kaworu sat up slowly rubbing his eyes as he spoke in Japanese once more. “It’s morning already?”

Shinji turned picking up the breakfast tray putting it gently on his lap. “I cooked you some Tamago, I know you like it.”

Kaworu breathed in deeply as Shinji sat next to him taking his own breakfast bowl as he spoke. “It’s hot.” Kaworu looked down slowly taking the bowl and his chop sticks. “You didn’t have to do this for me.” Shinji looked at him for a long moment. “Well I wanted to and besides they told me you need to rest and relax today.”

Kaworu slowly started to eat deeply enjoying the flavour. “Well I just want them to get this fixed. I don’t want to look like this forever.” Shinji breathed in deeply. “You know have you ever considered being this way, as you are and not taking the medication?”

Kaworu carried on eating. “No, the world would never accept that nether would the public, they’d berate and curse me.” Shinji carried on eating as he looked at him. “But what if they didn’t what if they accepted you just like they accept Asuka?” Kaworu felt a sneer form. “Stop comparing me to her, she can hide her issues behind a patch, I can’t!”

Shinji looked up slightly. “She can’t hide the scars we both know she has them all over her body, the stomach one is very long you must have seen it.”

Kaworu carried on eating. “Yeah I’ve seen it, again she can hide it!” Shinji lowered his chop sticks. “Then why is she okay with swim wear? If she wanted to hide it she’d wear a one piece but since Rei brought her that two-piece she still walks around in it and visits the spa and everyone can see the scars.”

He paused. “Look I know it’s not the same but I’m just saying I don’t find you unattractive this way and I think people are very open-minded and that maybe you don’t need those drugs to be you.” Kaworu breathed in deeply. “Please I’ve had a childhood of being called a freak of nature. They even told my mother to kill me at birth, because they felt it was best in the eyes of the gods, as I was cursed.”

He looked down sadly. “She and my father refused and loved me until they were gunned down and I was taken by the rebels at the age of ten and they used me as their pet to scare people…so I know how people think Shinji, there sore, cruel and judgemental.”

Shinji felt his gaze narrow. “No, that’s what the bad people told you, because they were bad people including your ex-boyfriend who abused you and raped you. We are not those people, we love you, your part of our family and we don’t care how you look!”

He watched as Kaworu turned to him in surprise maybe because of his raised voice. “I just wish you could see this, because I saw it in the others when they visited and you taking the meds is you wanting to cover up who you are in reality but in reality it’s not your true skin.”

Kaworu eyed him as he finished his breakfast. “It’s better to live a lie than to suffer the pain and humiliation of looking this way.” Shinji eyed him for a long moment. “Have you considered that there are thousands of people out there with your condition who have no one to look up right now, because of prejudice? Wouldn’t it change the worlds view if you stopped living this lie and showed your true self to them and educated the world.”

Kaworu pushed the tray aside as Shinji put his empty breakfast bowl on it. “That is the fool errand Shinji.” Shinji breathed in picking up the tray as he looked at him. “No I think it would be a very brave thing to do.” Kaworu looked up slightly as the anger faded and he looked down sadly. “I’m sorry, your being really kind to me I do not mean to throw this back at you…I’m just afraid right now…it’s been so long since I was this way.”

Shinji felt a smile form as he leaned over gently kissing the side of the other man’s face. “Its fine, I understand I just want you to be happy as you and not who you think you should be.” Kaworu took in a deep breath letting it out slowly. “Maybe I’ll give it some though.” Shinji felt a smile form. “Well while you do I’ll go get you more breakfast as you might feel much better after a second serving.”

8

I can feel my palms sweating. I’m so nervous walking up to the Commanders and Ritsuko’s office, the last time I was here was after the Alpha unit incident and I feared that my time as a pilot might end but now I feel even more afraid that it’s going to happen.

Despite that Maya is leading me and holding my hand I feel no conform. Even though Asuka’s grandmother has spoken to me at length last night over what happened with Asuka and my family I don’t feel any better. My family are insane psychopaths and though they have a different mother to me we are all seeds of our father.

That’s why I feel so terrified because genetically I’m the same as them and that alone could turn both the Commander and Ritsuko against me. I could be seen as a huge traitor just for existing even though I never had any idea what their plans were for Nerv. Or that my birth was a product of my vile father using my mother for his own gain as well as Asuka’s mother and we were caught in the middle of the game never realizing we were pawns.

Misato also can’t be here because there trying to keep the press at bay over Kaworu everything feels so weird and fucked up right now. For the past few days the news has been filled with funerals after the events of the terrorist attack. A terror attack my family caused and their probably being really smug about it right now. Mari breathed in as she came up to the double doors of the main office watching as Maya stopped as both guards opened the doors so they could go through.

She walked inside feeling Maya let go of her hand as she came to stand opposite her as she took up her place seeing that both Gendo and Ritsuko were looking at her. Though there faces were unreadable she turned as Maya’s voice hit the air. “We are here, as you requested.”

Gendo breathed in looking at Mari as the doors closed behind them. He breathed in deeply he was hoping this was going to go better than how it had done with Asuka and his daughter the other day. Though he had for filled her request a package had been put through her and her brothers door which was filled with all the movies and photos he had of Yui though it was copied from his own collection.

He took hold of his device pressing it watching as the family tree appeared on the holographic screen. “So would I be right to assume that your Langley’s daughter directly and that Langley is the son of Gabriella Adelardo Langley, who is your grandmother?”

Mari looked down slightly. “Yes their family by blood.”

Ritsuko eyed the screen. “And Achika and Christopher they are your older step brother and sister?”

Mari fidgeted slightly. “Yes.”

Gendo eyed the screen. “Who is their mother?”

Mari looked up slightly. “I don’t know. I never met her I mean I’d see her in the car. She used to drop my older step brother and sister off but she never wanted to be around my father though I don’t blame her. He was a bastard, who loved to cheat and he’s the reason I don’t use my families name and changed it to Makinami Illustrious which was grandfather second names on my mother’s side.”

Ritsuko looked at her for a long moment. “Did you know that your fucked up family was leading the Ankh terrorist group or that your grandmother is the Hyena of Vasai?”

Mari shook her head. “No, I just knew her as my cruel grandmother who beat me with a horse whip for failing her test.”

Ritsuko eyed her desk holographic screen. “Yes about that and I’m perplexed, I read here it was a test the drowning of Asuka….but you buckled you couldn’t go through with it, why is that?”

Mari adjusted her glasses. “Because it was wrong and I knew it!”

Gendo put his hands together. “Clarify to us in more detail why it was wrong?”

Mari looked down slightly. “Because she was an innocent little girl and they used her for their fucked up test. The test was to teach us all how to show no emotion over death, to kill the weak because they are a burden to sociality.”

She tensed slightly. “My grandmother believed only the strong deserved to live and that the weak should be crushed.” She looked down sadly. “I failed because I had compassion and because I hate them and still do to this day.” Ritsuko eyed the screen. “I see and I’m assuming there’s a pecking order and you’re in the middle rank wise?”

Mari shook her head. “No in my families eyes I’m the weakling the runt of the litter. All my older step brother and sister used to do was bully me and treat me like shit. It’s why I failed the test because I liked Asuka way more than them, because even back then she showed me kindness despite the problems in her own life.”

Ritsuko breathed in using her device to enlarge both Christopher and Achika pictures. “Tell me it must be strange to have an older sister who looks just like you.” Mari eyed Achika’s picture. “We both look like our father we have his hair colour and similar eye colour but believe me when I say I’m nothing like her or my brother they delight in causing harm.”

Ritsuko eyed the images again. “Yes that’s very clear to us.” She paused. “Which bring us to the purpose of this meeting do you know where these people are?” Maya looked at Mari who looked deeply uncertain. “Just tell them what you told me Mari, last night.”

Mari breathed in collecting her thoughts trying to keep the raw fear at bay. “I don’t know where they are but my grandmother was obsessed with submarines. I recall the evil bitch flipping through books on them when I was a child and saying they were the way forward and you could put a whole army under the sea so to speak.”

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

Gendo pulled up another image which via a very shaky camera phone of some kind of air ship floating in the air clearly undergoing repairs to one of its engines.” This was spotted not long ago out to the sea. It’s the first time we’ve ever seen it and it was a fishing boat that recoded it, the special division tells me it is a submarine but also a flying ship hybrid and maybe the possible flying ship we have heard reports about.”

He looked up slightly. “We only received this report this morning in full along with the footage which was useful since your step sister and my daughter had no memory of being in this huge ship and can recall nothing but I was told this ship was out of the water a few days ago because it was being repaired and had taken damage to one of its engines which may explain how they got out.”

He paused. “So tell me would you say that your family is a threat to this base?” Mari eyed the ship for a long moment. “There not my family and if your questioning my fucking loyalty because I’m related to them, let me tell you now I’d watch them burn, my loyalty is to Nerv to Asuka.”

Gendo put his hands together. “You misunderstand the question, I’m not questioning your loyalty for better or worse you’re related to Langley by blood line but you’re ours. My question stems down to if your family will try to attack us?” Mari looked down slightly. “Probably, they are all crazy after all.”

Gendo leaned forward. “Then I do hope if it comes to that you will prove that loyalty you speak so much off.” He eyed Maya for a long moment before turning back to her hoping his point was made clear. “Since you now have even more incentive to our cause.”

He met her cold gaze. “Because if you prove any disloyalty when that day comes, the consequences for you will be extreme. Since you already don’t have a good track record here behaviour wise as you like hack Evangelions from the inside. So if your facing off against your step brother and sister in there vile little hybrids the other which we have yet to see, I expect you to kill them…I do hope that is understood.”

Mari eyed him in disgust. “Oh its crystal clear Commander...” Ritsuko looked up slightly speaking calmly. “You can both leave now, we are done.”

She watched as Maya took Mari’s hand leading her out though Mari’s cold look never left them even as the doors were closed behind them. She sat back in her chair. “That went better than I was expecting.” Gendo breathed in slightly. “Well it was worth questioning her loyalty.”

Ritsuko eyed her holographic screen. “Yes well I think her loyalty is to us, after all she has much more too loose now since she’s fucking Maya and all.” Gendo felt a cold smile form. “If that is what keeps this one in place then that it’s enough for me and I just want her like the others to show no mercy when the time comes to fight our enemies.”

8

I’m still hungry why can I not stop eating? Oh who cares I’m going buy this even though that’s all I’ve done over these past few days is eat and eat some more and snack of vending machines. I’ve gone up a notch on my jeans belt so what was one more, bad sickly sweet snack?

Rei eyed the vending machine slotting in some yen which she always carried in change along with euros since the machines took both and you could even mix them. There was barely anyone around as it was still early morning and she’d be meeting Mari and Toji later Asuka was in the Taito Station and once she’d gotten this, she was going to meet her.

She watched as her item moved forward only to fall forward and get stuck. She eyed it in frustration great just great, she hated it when this happened and if Asuka was here she’d just get her to kick the vending machine that normally did the trick. She eased her foot up slamming it in to the glass only to pull back in pain clearly that hurt more than she’d expected.

She eyed the machine slamming her hand on the glass hard, only to watch in shock as the whole thing vibrated violently for a second then threw tons of sweets, drinks and food out which clattered to the bottom all at once in a huge messy heap.

She looked around her seeing an empty corridor as she leaned down pulling a few things out but not taking everything only what she had purchased. The machine was faulty anyway and they’d fix it once everyone was in since it dropping everything on all of its shelves was not normal.

She un-wrapped the chocolate biting down, she hated this sweet tooth she was having right now it only seemed to go away when she filled her stomach. She had never been overweight in her life but she was starting to get why Mari had said it was an awful struggle, when she’d had been and that it became like an awful desire just to fill a gap with food only to get more depressed and eat more pulling yourself in to a vicious cycle.

Ever since she’d come back from captured she’d just wanted to eat and she didn’t know why. The feeling though was like she’d never eaten in her life and she had this mental drive to try anything and everything, it was an awful insatiable craving.

She opened the second bar biting down she was probably going to have come clean about this to the therapist today just like the rest of her problems. Like shaky unrealistic memory and the feeling of being edgy and angry at any given time.

“I have never tasted such wonder…your world has so much food, I want to taste it all but I can only do it through you.”

Rei turned slowly around only to find herself staring in to a face that was right up to her own a young face identical to her own but with bloody red eyes and light blue hair, but younger. She found herself coughing and dropping her bar of chocolate as she stared at the fifteen year old who was fully naked in front of her and right inside her personal space like some kind of waking nightmare.

She wanted to scream but nothing would come out she wanted to move but her body wouldn’t budge, all she could feel was utter terror.

The young girl curious face seemed to turn to sadness as she could clearly see her fear but she spoke regardless. “What’s it like to be an adult?” Rei found herself grabbing both sides of her face as the pain came all too suddenly and it was like a knife like pain to the back of her head. She found herself closing her eyes as she screamed out in trying to take the pain feeling her whole body tense in agony, for what felt like a truly painful minute which seemed to last forever.

It stopped all of a sudden as she opened her eyes seeing that the corridor was empty now and the young naked girl who looked like her was gone. She stood up slowly looking around her only for the dizziness to hit her as she found herself leaning against the wall only for her stomach to suddenly twist before she could stop it causing agonizing pain.

She couldn’t stop herself as leaned forward throwing up all over the floor feeling her-self stagger back as she clutched the wall waiting for the painful dizzy spell to pass. She looked down at her hand watching as a ball of blazing bright blue light appeared in it. She was hallucinating she had be this was her own mind it was her body trying to screw her over.

She looked at the glowing ball forcing her hand closed around it seeing it pop like it was filled with air only for the sound of shattering glass to irrupt behind her as the lights around her flickered for a moment before returning to normal. She turned around very slowly feeling unsure if any of this was real or in her mind as she eyed the two empty Nerv work rooms which now had shattered glass and a third which had cracked.

She found herself stumbling away from the rooms none of this was real it was in just in her head it had to be! She turned not thinking as she broke in to a run she had to get away from Nerv she needed to find Asuka, they both needed to get out of here!

8

Asuka breathed in deeply raising the arcade games reflective light weight hand gun as she pulled the virtual reality visor down watching the countdown start. She was bored and it seemed like it would be better to just play while she waited for Rei. Maybe she could top her score for once as she still couldn’t beat this machine and always scored third or second but she had never topped the head score by someone called Booth-five nine one.

She breathed in changing the VR lenses settings as she started to shoot at the Zombies easing and relaxing in to it finding herself smiling. It seemed easier today though she didn’t really understand why it just felt easier to get a head shot, as she walked as the neon booth simulated her steps going forward. She eyed the visor noticing the imagery of the zombies were starting to look slightly overly realistic despite that her setting was on normal game detail and not hyper realistic.

She taped the visor verfickte thing had to be bust typical she would get the faulty visor. She turned as a long sounding thumping sound hit the air, she turned sharply. “This booth is verfickte taken! Go find your own.” She breathed in as the sound died and she turned back to playing it was clearly going to be one of those days.

She turned hearing the sound again although deeply distant, it sounded like a horse in that she could hear the sound of hooves making a slow steps towards her booth. Clearly someone was verfickte around and had one of those annoying sound processors toys that you could buy in the Arcade she turned back to the game refocusing on it as she began to fire again.

Hinata turned looking at the holographic screen behind him eyeing Asuka’s booth watching as the score board kept rising and rising only for the red light to flash which indicated cheating, since she’d killed perfectly with headshots for the last five minutes, which was out right impossible. He narrowed his gaze in anger as he moved out of his desk he was not going to let her get away with this! She had to have a cheating device like her older step sister Mari and he would prove it this time!

Asuka tensed sharply noticing that her game was starting to stutter she looked up seeing something in her visor which she had never seen before a weird hoofed creature. It was walking past the zombies melting them to bone and bloody muscle it was also tall eight foot in height. Was this a new add in boss?

Because she had not read that this game had, had an expansion or new villains, she watched as the being came closer its huge horns rising skyward as it turned looking around. It moved forward as the whole games back ground suddenly froze looking directly at her. She waited trying to see if the glowing hit points would show up for the boss battle but none did.

The creature moved forward slowly until it stopped blocking her whole visor view. She breathed in, in deep frustration and anger pulling the VR headset off only to freeze in horror, as the same black form appeared in front of her as everything around her suddenly faded in to darkness.

The one good red and black eye stared down at her as the nostrils flared as the huge hand rose its over long clawed fingers moving as it spoke as the smell hit her, which was a mixture of rotting flesh and wet musty dog both, which made her want to gag as she dropped the VR visor as well as the gun. “Poor pathetic thing you are, playing games in your world and enjoying such pleasures that others like you were denied.”

She felt the pain before she could stop it as her left eye heated up to the point that it hurt as she grabbed her head feeling the pain which was like a knife being driven in to her the front of her head on the left side. One of the huge hands grabbed her neck then thrust her back smashing her in to the booths back glass.

The panic took over Bardiel had never been able to fully touch her in the waking world yet this thing could. Her feet scuffed the floor as the pain got stronger as the claws dug in as the being spoke again. “And people think you’re fucking special, your nothing!” Asuka couldn’t stop her next actions she was screaming only for it to turn to roaring as she struggled to fight back, only to feel the light blast out from her left eye as everything turned to pure white.

Hinata walked towards Asuka’s booth which was glowing from the inside getting ready to grab the door only for the booths glass to smash sending shards everywhere as he was thrown backwards. He was smashing in to the fighting games machines behind him back first, only to hit the floor hard on his side he felt the painful ringing in his ears as cold blood ran down from his nose.

None of the alarms had gone off not for fire or emergency he painfully opened one eye watching in shock horror as all the lights around him flicked from black to white as two huge beings stared each other down as the sound came back to his ears, as the huge six foot tall were tiger who had two huge trashing tails clawed feet slammed in to the ground as it black claws dug in.

It turned on the other monster which looked like some warped fucked up looking Pan kind of thing which instantly let go of its furry red shoulder leaving bloody marks as it let out a massive threatening roar its huge red mane standing on end as its left eye let out pure burning white and blue light. The other thing whatever it was sneered in anger its bloody hooves scraping the floor before it vanished in a blast of dark light which caused black blood to spatter all over the next booth running down it.

The huge were tiger turned its huge feet slamming in to the ground as it moved towards him coming to stand over him its other blue eye glowing. He could see the huge teeth this had to be a dream it could not be real!

This must be a holographic suite but Nerv had said they’d never had been able to make one though it was the thing everyone wanted to crack. A hologram suit that surrounded your body that felt and looked real and that you could walk around in and your touch have it be solid to others, but caused you no harm when wearing it. So this had to be some kind of advertising stunt that was being recorded elsewhere for some shitty movie or series.

He coughed painfully as he looked down seeing a thick shard of neon booth glass embed in his stomach as blood slowly started to leak out. He put a hand on it trying to move it only to feel intense pain shoot through his body as he realized this was real and as he let go unable to pull it out and if he did it could kill him as he’d bleed out faster.

He watched as the huge were tiger lowered its self so it was over him clearly looking at his wound its single bright blue eye staring intensely and the other let out bright light. He felt the huge clawed hand take hold of him gently though it was the last thing he saw as the lights returned to normal as he closed his eyes and everything faded in to darkness.

End of part 45

Silvermoonlight