SHATTERING THE SYMPHONY

What just happened to me? I can’t remember….no that’s wrong I do remember but its sounds insane even to my own mind. Did I turn in to that form again?

I did but I thought the love making was in our heads. I know we had sex I know that part was real but I thought it was some sort of shared illusion brought about by stress. Yet twenty minutes ago I was walking around in that form doing something and it’s hard to remember what it was. The memory is there but its blurred but not missing not like on the undersea ship or when I ended up on level fifty of the Arcade zone.

I’ve been in that form before but it was in my subconscious but now I realize this had to be real just like when we slept together. It makes no verfickte sense though you don’t turn in to the things in your dreams. Humans are not gods, we can’t change forms we can’t reshape our worlds in the way we do in our imaginations.

Please tell I’m not going crazy again? Let this be some scheisse like Bardiel left something behind in my brain that’s screwing with my verfickte mind! I don’t think I can handle this a second time, I don’t feel strong enough.

Asuka leaned over the sink of the general employee’s bathroom why did she have to suffer this? She felt her stomach suddenly twist agonizing. She found herself breaking away as she ran to the nearest toilet cubical slamming the door behind her locking it as she threw up violently.

She breathed in sharply not liking this feeling it was like Bardiel all over again the intense anxiety and pure fear, she looked down flushing as she unlocked the door going over to the sink drinking from it spitting it out hating the horrible taste in her mouth then splashing cold water on her face.

She took in a deep long breath okay she needed to go to Maya tell her everything. Maybe then it wouldn’t be like the last time she had her friends and family now to support her, maybe they could help her though this verfickte episode whatever it was.

She turned as the door suddenly slammed open she pulled herself up right only to watch in surprise as Rei appeared walking towards her fast. The younger woman’s face was filled with fear and uncertainty as her green eyes darted as she suddenly grabbed at the collar of her leather jacket her voice filled with fear. “We have to go home now Asuka.”

Asuka stared at her for a long moment, how had her girlfriend even found her? She had not received any text message or sent one. She looked at her speaking calmly. “How did you find me….I never told you where I was?” Rei looked down slightly oh great now she was going to sound like she had lost her mind, with her next words. “I felt you…I can feel you.” She raised her hand pointing at the opposite cubical. “You just threw up in there….I…I felt it.”

Asuka felt her eyes dart as she pulled off her patch sharply feeling truly confused realizing in an instant she had to come clean. “Well I think I turned in to that were tiger form, again but I can’t fully remember what just happened to me….” Rei breathed in deeply. “Well this naked version of me who looked fifteen just appeared to me in corridor, it was terrifying.” Asuka turned to look at her in confusion, was that the goddess Rei the one she had met?

She paused before speaking. “Naked…no school uniform?” Rei turned sharply to her. “Why does that even matter at this point?!” Asuka breathed in deeply realizing she couldn’t say anymore. She wasn’t meant to that was destiny. “So like the vision in your entry plug?”

Rei nodded as she moved over to the sink. “Yes, just like that but she was touching me and being weird and creepy.” She breathed in deeply. “She vanished and I threw up then ran away….” She looked up as Asuka’s previous words suddenly sunk in. “Wait you became the were-tiger again?”

Asuka looked at her hands. “Yes but I don’t remember why I was doing it, my memory is so hazy it’s like I just can’t remember anything.” She raised her hand. “There was fresh blood all over one of my hands. I came in here to wash it off, I don’t even know whose it is, I just know it’s not mine, smells all wrong.”

She put a hand on her face. “What am I even verfickte saying? I sound like I did with Bardiel!” Rei moved taking her hand feeling herself calm slightly maybe because right now they were in the same boat and that was comforting in a strange way. Since it was the person she loved as she spoke calmly and gently. “No it doesn’t sound crazy at all…not to me like I say I felt you, I knew you were here.”

Asuka breathed in deeply as she raised her other hand. “I need to check something…I need to be sure.” She snapped her fingers hard watching as the camera behind them suddenly blew up which caused Rei to jump. She looked at her hand for a long moment she didn’t want anyone to hear her next words as she felt the heat in her left eye as her teeth turned razor sharp. “So I guess it was real then that night….I changed and I made love to you in that form, it wasn’t an illusion.”

Rei breathed in taking hold of her other hand. “I guess it was.” She paused, “But I wouldn’t take it back for the world.” Asuka turned to meet her gaze directly. “What is happening to us…what are we becoming?” Rei breathed in knowing Asuka was going to hate her answer. “On the ship Gabriella she called you the destroyer of worlds, a sleeping god in human form.”

Asuka felt her gaze narrow. “I am not a god! I am not this destroyer of verfickte worlds they talk about. Gods are made up crap so people can feel better about their lives there not real, angels are real. Gods are also there so everyone has someone else to blame when things go wrong, so people don’t have to work on any form of self-reflection and fix what’s wrong in sociality!”

She slammed her hand down on one of the sinks in anger. The next moment caught her by surprise as the water blasted upwards from the sink like a jet stream spraying them both. She stepped away in anger wiping the water of her face. “No they just switched some scheisse on in my brain some left over from Bardiel…that is after all how Nerv found us. Because I still have some piece oh him attached to my brain stem somehow…that’s what Mari and Toji told me.”

Rei blinked in confusion. “Then why I am getting this as well?”

Asuka turned sharply to her. “I don’t know maybe because I gave it to you by mistake, when I screwed you with one of my tails!”

Rei turned feeling her teeth turn to razors and the heat in both eyes. “That’s not even remotely possible and you know it!” She moved a step closer. “No it was the ship they did this to us not you, you’d never harm me and you know it!”

Asuka looked in to the other woman’s glowing red eyes feeling her right eye really heat up. “Yeah well what if I gefickt up Rei what if this time I screwed us both over, because I wanted sex!?”

Rei put a hand through her hair in frustration as she looked at Asuka’s normal eye which had turned glowing green and now had a cat like slit in it. “I wanted sex not you! I had been wanting it all day, I woke up feeling that way I started it, so it’s not all about you Asuka, not this time!”

She raised her hand about to shout some more only to stop as she took a slow step back refocusing her thoughts as she took in deep breathes feeling herself calm down as the heat left her eyes and her teeth returned to normal as she spoke calmly. “Why are we arguing, this isn’t like us, we don’t argue like this and haven’t done so since we were children?”

Asuka looked at for a long moment realizing she was right why were they arguing this way, why did this even matter now? What was done was done and the reality was they couldn’t change what was done. She closed her eyes refocusing her thoughts feeling the anger melt away she felt the heat leave both eyes and her teeth slowly return to normal. “I want to go home.”

Rei turned to her seeing that she was now truly calm. “You read my mind…let’s just go home we can call in sick.” Asuka moved over taking her hand gently and kissing it. “Yeah I want to be away from here maybe if we are at home these things will go away maybe we’ll both get better. If they haven’t we can tell the others tonight and I can tell Maya, she’ll understand.”

Rei looked down slightly. “What if she’s with Mari?” Asuka looked up. “She won’t be Toji’s on his date tonight she has to look after Sakura.” Rei blinked in surprise uncertain as to why she had forgotten this. “Oh yes…I guess that slipped my mind.”

8

Where are Asuka and Rei? They should be here right now nether of them showed up for their psychiatric evaluation this morning. She turned catching sight of Mari and Toji who had just finished Evangelion training and were still in their plug suits in the pilots wreck room she breathed in, in annoyance eyeing Mari. “Where are Asuka and Rei, they were meant to be here this morning?!”

Mari turned sharply she knew this was coming well in advance as Asuka and Rei had both vanished. She’d been trying to text them but had gotten no reply to any of her messages. “You fucking tell me? I’ve been messaging them both…they just aren’t replying.”

Toji raised his hand. “I messaged Shinji and Kaworu they said they are not with them.” Misato folded her arms. “They are meant to have psychiatric evaluations today, there very important them not having them, means there getting back in their Evangelions will be delayed.”

She turned as her phone rang she picked up seeing that it was Kaji she pressed it speaking more calmly. “Yes?”

Kaji’s came though it was voice filled with uncertainty. “I have footage of Asuka and Rei leaving by train.”

He paused before speaking. “I was told there was a seriously accident in the Taito Station and that the owner is in the hospital wing with his wife recovering but no one’s has any idea what happened or will tell me anything and Ritsuko has cordoned the place off and no one’s allowed inside there is some kind of special clean-up crew working in there. They’ve also corroded of one of the corridors without giving any explanation.”

Misato blinked n confusion. “I’m sick of this bullshit! I wish Ritsuko would stop hiding whatever this is all about, as we have a right to know!”

Kaji’s voice came again. “We still have not been told what the special drugs they were given were despite you’re asking.”

Misato breathed in deeply. She hated being kept out of this loop whatever it was why was it such a big deal they knew the truth Seele had told them that the world had repeated they all knew a god Rei existed, so why the secrecy surrounding Asuka and Rei? She still didn’t know why they’d been told they couldn’t have sex for twenty four hours after coming out of quarantine. It just felt like she was picking on them purposely.

Not to mention it was deeply clear that Rei was going through something mentally that was very bad in that she was acting out being aggressive and lying openly and just not herself along with having an appetite that matched Asuka’s on a good day. She took in a deep breath. “Okay just keep me informed, somethings not right here.”

Kaji’s voice came again though much quieter. “If it makes you feel any better Maya is just as angry about this as you. As she is now being kept out of the loop as well and I think we all have a right to know what’s going on now.”

Misato breathed in deeply. “Okay we’ll talk about this later.”

Kaji voice suddenly hit the air. “Love you speak to you soon.”

Misato breathed in speaking lower hoping nether Toji or Mari wouldn’t hear what she was saying. “Love you to.” She turned seeing that Mari was adjusting her glasses while Toji was playing with his collar. “You can both go home your done for today.”

She paused eyeing them. “And if either Asuka or Rei ring you, I want you to call me and tell me because they are in deep trouble for missing there psychiatric evaluations and that’s an order.” She folded her arms. “And I will be coming down on them both like a ton of bricks tomorrow, as they both know better.”

Mari looked at Toji. “You know I don’t mean to sound rude but everyone’s having it kind of shit right now. Maybe it’s too much for my sister and Rei maybe they needed more time to relax and think over what happened they were both captured and saw horrible things.”

Toji raised his hand. “Yeah everyone’s having it hard in some manner because it’s been utter chicken shit as of late.” Misato turned to them about to get angry only to stop her-self from speaking as the reality hit her hard. They both had a point as a lot of shit was happening right now and everyone was being affected in some way. “Maybe you’re both right, maybe they did need more time. I would have just preferred to be told if it was the case.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Mari stepped forward. “I’m sure Asuka has a very good explanation she doesn’t normally leave without even telling me or Toji and it had to be very important for her to go like that. Maybe Nerv Germany had some issue that they couldn’t tell you so her grandmother asked for a private channel chat.” Misato breathed in deeply. “I just hope it was that Mari.” She adjusted her red leather jacket as she moved towards the double doors. “Because right now I’d love to know what the hell is going on and I hate being kept out of the loop.”

Mari watched as she left turning to Toji. “Why does everyone around here have to be so fucking sour lately?” Toji shrugged slightly. “I have no idea but this chicken shit sucks. I just want it go back to how it was after Asuka got out her units core back when everyone was happy and it was quite and relaxed.”

Mari turned to him. “You should get ready you got your date.”

Toji turned feeling a wide smile form. “Oh yeah I need to get ready, I’m picking up Sumire.”

Mari put a hand on his arms. “You got to tell me how that goes.”

Toji put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry I’ll tell you everything.”

He felt his grin widen. “I’m going to take her out to dinner then we’ll go back to her apartment.” Mari moved over to his jacket pulling out his spare apartment keys. “Well I’ll be taking Sakura shopping and to the cinema she wants to see some historic romance movie, it has that Oscar winner, what’s the guy’s name again?” Toji looked up slightly. “Antonio Aguilar apparently all of her school friends are hot for him as well he’s the big thing right now in terms of school crushes.”

He paused. “I met him once at a Nerv event didn’t see what the big deal was, got his autograph for her though, which she loved.” He moved in to the changing shower freeing his plug suit feeling it inflate then go saggy as he got out of it. He turned on the shower feeling the hot water spray all over him as he heard Mari’s shower do the same opposite. “Didn’t Asuka meet him to at the auction before it all went to hell?”

Mari’s voice came over. “Yeah he apparently waved at her and she had no idea who he even was Rei had to tell her…I guess he’s just one of those actors that only appeals to certain age groups. Toji carried on washing down. “Hey what should I wear?”

Mari’s voice came again. “You know I’m going to say that nice suit that’s in your locker, don’t you?”

Toji stopped the water grabbing his towel as he started to dry down. “You don’t think that’s too much?”

Mari’s shower turned off as she spoke again. “Not if you really like her the way I think you do then put on your best stuff, you might get lucky.”

Toji rubbed the towel over his hair as he tensed his muscled shoulders and arms as he smiled widely. “Yeah I like her that much so I’ll do that.”

8

Hinata opened his eyes slowly and painfully feeling the pain in his lower waist instantly as he looked down seeing that he was in a hospital bed and his waist had been bandaged. He turned watching as his wife Aimee stood up the joy in her face as she came over to his bed side putting a hand on his face kissing him gently. “You’re awake.”

He groaned changing his language to French as he spoke to her in a gentle tone. “I feel like shit…what happened to me?” A cold voice instantly cut though his thoughts. “Yes that’s a question I would very much like to know as well since your now fully awake Mr Kita…though your wife Aimee has been most giving in her side of her story.”

Hinata turned watching in shock as the director’s wife Ritsuko came in to view. Though her face was unreadable as she moved closer over his bed taking out her clip board getting ready to write she had an ear piece in ,which meant the room was set up to translate French so she knew just what he was saying as well as Aimee.

The blonde woman spoke again. “Because as she tells it a six foot tall being saved your life, carried you to the front desk and pulled a seven inch blade of neon glass out of your stomach. Then it created cotton fibres with its claws and stitched up your body and somehow healed your ruptured intestines and kidney. The doctors have stated that they were recently healed but they had no hand in it, it was fascinating to listen to but now I want what you saw in full detail.”

Hinata sat up in bed realizing that he wasn’t in the normal medical wing but some weird closed off wing which had no windows. “Where the fuck am I?” Ritsuko turned to him slowly. “A special closed off wing of quarantine, you were moved out today as we needed to run certain tests on you. Lucky for you, you passed and once this is over you can go.”

She eased out her glasses putting them on. “So I would like to get on with it, since I am very busy and my husband and I need to look at another issue while you sign a document of secrecy about what you saw.”

Hinata felt a sneer form. “You people are fucking assholes! You know not telling anyone that you created a fully functional holographic suit which you clearly gave to Asuka to piss around with!” Ritsuko turned to him. “I will tell you now and make it very easy for you…it wasn’t a hologram or a holographic suit.”

Hinata stared at her for a long moment looking to see if this was some sort of joke but her face made it clear it wasn’t. “Wait that thing that were-tiger that looked like Nekomata that was real?!” Ritsuko moved closer to his bed. “Yes so please stop stalling and give me the details of what you saw, I’m a very busy woman and I hate hold ups.”

Hinata felt his eyes dart in confusion. “Why would you even tell me that?” Ritsuko eyed him as she spoke in a cold voice. “Because no one would ever believe ether of you and I’ve already had this conversation with your wife.” She paused typing in to the holographic desk bringing up two art pieces. “Is this what you saw?”

Aimee eyed the art. “That’s what I saw that’s what saved you.” Hinata breathed in sharply. “Yeah that’s what I saw Asuka was in the booth I thought she was cheating her score was too good.” Ritsuko began to write. “How was it to good? Clarify that for me since I don’t play video games.”

Hinata sat up fully. “Too many head shots.”

Ritsuko looked up raising an eyebrow. “Since Asuka kills people for a living I find that statement interesting but go on.”

Hinata tensed slightly. “The glass booth was glowing from the inside then it blew up and I was tossed violently.”

Ritsuko eyed the drawings. “And you saw that?”

Hinata shook his head. “No not just that, two monsters that staring each other down, this taller thing roaring at the were-tiger. It was some warped fucked up Pan looking thing and it stank like rotting flesh…then it just vanished blasting black blood all over the place.” He moved his hand down to his waist. “I looked down and realized I’d been stabbed with glass, the were-tiger came over and picked me up that’s the last thing I remember.”

He put his hands together. “Was that thing I saw Asuka….did she become that thing?” Aimee looked at her husband. “That were-tiger saved you it pulled glass from your stomach it turned it to sand and healed your wounds and stitched them using two claws. You wouldn’t be alive you were bleeding out terribly it even handed you to me after it healed you and somehow set of the medical alarms before leaving the place.”

Ritsuko stopped writing looking at him. “You both shouldn’t ask questions above you pay grade all you need to do is tell me what you saw. You don’t want or need to know what it was, you just need to sign the agreement and take your very nice compensation pay and never speak about what you saw ever again as long as you both live.”

Hinata looked up in surprise. “We are being compensated?” Ritsuko lowered her clip board typing in to holographic screen bringing up a number. “Yes, as your situation is very rare and shouldn’t have happened to start with it was a freak accident of sorts which is due to something my husband and I now need to fix.”

She paused. “I do hope this number is sufficient.” Hinata eyed the figures which weren’t small he looked at his Aimee who looked just as shocked by the figure. “Yes….that’s very good for us…where should we sign?”

8

Sumire opened the door to her apartment building watching as Toji came inside. They’d just come back from a very expensive Chinese restaurant which she had wanted to go Dutch on and pay her share though Toji had stopped her. As he had said he didn’t mind and it was about her experiencing his countries food, as he had experience hers.

She wasn’t completely happy with it as she was used to paying her own way but if she was honest she wasn’t used to people buying things for her. Plus she had no idea how he’d feel about her apartment as it wasn’t that big. It was small and cosy and overly bright to anyone who didn’t understand Mexican traditional culture.

Her neighbours really hated her painted red and yellow metal screen that protected the door since it didn’t match with all the apartment blocks bland silver or black or gold coloured protection blinds. She’d brought this place it was hers so the way she saw it was that the inside and outside was hers to recreate how she felt, even if it offended some people.

Toji walked inside only to hit by the rich orange and strong colours from the traditional decorations though it was an awe moment from him. As he had never seen anything so colourful before and he was so used to most Japanese apartments being so calm in there colour schemes.

This wasn’t it was vibrant and alive much like Kaworu’s apartment, there were wooden decoration on the walls and wooden chairs and tables as well as statues dedicated to Nahuatl gods. The two biggest carved statues being Quetzalcoatl the feathered serpent and Tezcatlipoca the jaguar goddess, they were the most prominent on the back wall and were on either side. The apartment had decorative carpets in places over the wooden floors and red material sofas and a heavy wooden coffee table.

The kitchen though was big which meant Sumire enjoyed cooking as the wooden cupboards were all painted red with tiled surfaces with cooking equipment everywhere as well as an old style gas hob cooker something he had not seen since his childhood, as they were very rare and hard to come by in good condition.

Sumire closed the door and blind as breathed in deeply. “Please take a seat I know the décor is a little loud.” Toji turned sharply meeting her uncertain gaze. “It’s not loud, it’s awesome.” He sat down on the red couch seeing a number of magazines littered on it. Sumire moved over to her fridge. “What would like?”

Toji eyed the magazines closer before looking up “Strong alcohol, I swear Japanese’s Sake is nice but its weak compared to Choujiu, that stuff is way stronger.” Sumire moved pulling up a jug of orange alcohol which she had made herself since she couldn’t buy it here. “I have something special from Mexico, it’s called pulque with orange juice, it’s made from fermented cactus and very strong this is my dad’s home recipe.”

She poured the thick juice in to tall glasses. “Though I would be very careful it can knock you on your ass if you drink too much even with orange juice it’s still strong.” She passed him a glass watching as he took it feeling a smile form. “Even a strapping beefcake like you….” Toji took a slip enjoying the rich fruity flavour seeing his moment to tease as she’d left out one of her more naughty magazines. He took hold of it raising it. “I see you like strapping beef cakes like me?”

Sumire breathed in sharply shit she did not mean to leave that out! She didn’t think he’d want to come here and she had not cleaned out the house. She felt the blush start as she took it from him. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to leave that out…I didn’t know you were coming here…people don’t come to my home that much, only my parents when they visit.”

Toji raised his hands as she put it away as she sat down opposite him. “You misunderstand I don’t mind at all, believe me when I say I’m used to stumbling on Mari’s reading material a lot.” He breathed in realizing that at the dinner it had been mostly small talk regarding their jobs. He had not pressed for deeper questions but he was surprised that she had just assumed he would not come back here. “Why did you think I would not come back here?”

Sumire took a long drink before turning to him. “I just don’t get that many guests and you’re a pilot, I thought you might have important things to do and places to be.” Toji felt his smile widen as he lay back on her warm sofa. “No don’t have anywhere important to be and they only make us do those kinds of events once a week sometimes twice but not all the time.”

He took a long drink as a question entered his mind which he had wanted to ask over lunch but feared the press could be looking in or recording. As they did love to follow pilots around when it came to be boyfriends and girlfriends and he knew this as probably very personal to her. “So when did you know you wanted to be a woman?” Sumire lowered her drink. “Everything always felt off even when I was very young, I never felt I was really me as a young boy.”

She paused. “Until I got to my early teens then I found the names for what I was and I was able to talk to other transgender people who were going through transition or had gone through it completely and I knew then that I was meant to be a woman and everything suddenly made so much sense.” She took another long drink. “I realized I was a girl and always had been and once I joined Nerv in Mexico at nineteen they paid for my full transition.”

Toji sat up slightly. “How did your parents take it?” Sumire turned eyeing one of her family photos feeling a smile form. “They were nothing but supportive over my choice and they love visiting Nerv Japan but like any good parent there always pestering me over finding a boyfriend.”

She shook her head. “I swear my dad never lets up on that, like get married so we can have grandchildren.” She looked at her drink. “They don’t care that it will be though a birthing chamber they just want the patter of tiny feet one day.” Toji shifted a little closer. “You said you’d have full transition like how does that work?”

Sumire felt a naughty smile form. “Oh I can assure you everything works down there I’m fitted with a special device called a synthetic canal. It’s made from similar bio skin as the Evangelion like my breasts; it has the look and feel of a real female cervix and act’s as one. I can’t remove it its attached to my inner body but I do have to have check-ups every nine months to make sure the bio skin does not need replacing though that is very rare.”

She took another long drink keeping a close eye on his face despite that he looked so interested she wasn’t sure how he felt deep down as this had caused some men to walk out of her life in the past with disgust over the fact she couldn’t give them a child normally or like a real woman as they called it. “A lot of previous dates hated this idea and walked out of my life they called me a fake women and not real because I can’t carry children naturally.”

Toji breathed in deeply. “There their chicken shit losers. Kids are kids, it doesn’t matter if it’s natural or birth chamber I mean my friend Asuka is birth chamber child as her mum couldn’t have her naturally due to miscarriages.” Sumire let the breath she was holding in leave her maybe because the reaction was once again positive. “Yeah I guess they were losers…you clearly aren’t, your very special.”

Toji smirked putting his glass down as tensed his muscles. “Well I’m your strapping beefcake.” He watched as she laughed putting her drink down speaking nervously. “Em….can we you know I’d really like to kiss you…I’ve kind of been wanting to since I met you, just a kiss we don’t have to go any further.”

Sumire felt the blush again it was an odd feeling but kind of nice in a way it remained her of the romance when she’d been young, the kind that gave you deep anticipation, and made your heart pound because it was just like your first kiss.

She shifted a little closer putting a hand on his leg watching as he gave her a wide grin. “Yeah we can do that.” She leaned forward meeting his lips it was deep slow kiss but it made every nerve ending fire like lightening in her body as it got more intense she found herself stopping not from none enjoyment but because it had been so long since she’d had this feeling.

She got the feeling she wasn’t the only one feeling this she felt a sly smile form. “You know I could really get used to this.” Toji looked up trying to ignore the intense feeling which was buzzing like crazy in his body right now. “Yeah so could I, lets kiss some more.” He watched as her smiled widened as she nodded her head in agreement.

End of part 46

Silvermoonlight