Suzy
October 25, 2007. 6:12 a.m. My office. Team Lovers and Familia are all packed up and ready to go. Well, perhaps ready is a bit of an overstatement. Half of them look ready to pass out. Vivian’s still bruised from training. Yuko’s got a bunny sleeping on her chest. Angela’s got her arm in a sling. Only the boys look decent.
“Anyone want coffee?” I float a pitcher over to them. “You all really look like you could use it.”
“Hit me up.” Angela opens her mouth.
I wave my finger and direct a stream into her mouth and down her throat.
Angela shivers and holds her throat. “I… never want to experience that again…”
“Anyone else?”
The rest decline.
“Aight, fine. More for me.” I pour the rest of the coffee into my mouth. “So, everyone clear on what they’re doing, where they’re going, and when they need to be there by?”
“Yepperoni.” Vivian pulls out a little scrap of paper. “Drive to Chicago, take the I-10, get there by Monday. Spend a day scouting then await further instruction.”
“Wait, what?” Janelle shoots awake. “Drive? That’s a thirty hour drive minimum. Why can’t we fly or have Angela teleport us?”
“Airport security might be compromised.” I yawn. “You’d be surprised how many villains work in airport security.”
“I…” Janelle’s eyes bug out. “Never considered that. I never want to fly again.”
“As for Angela teleporting you guys, wouldn’t you prefer a little road trip?”
Everyone stays silent, but nods in agreement.
“The vans run on regular gas, return them with a full tank, try to stay in the same hotels if you can manage it, and keep me updated, alright? I love me some updates.”
“You want a postcard too?” Josh crosses his arms.
“Actually yes.” I smile. “If you could get me one from Salt Lake City, I’d appreciate it.”
“Sounds like a good pit stop.” Vivian yawns. “Anything else we should know?”
“Yep.” I reach into my wallet and chuck two platinum cards out. One to Vivian. One to Janelle. “Put the hotel rooms on the cards. Feel free to put any meals and snacks on there too. Just don’t go crazy, alright?”
“Wow…” Janelle runs her thumb over the card before stuffing it in her jacket pocket. “Thank you.”
“No prob.”
Vivian’s face lights up like a newly adopted puppy. “Oh my god! Thank you so much, mom!” all joy evaporates from her face the second she finishes talking.
That was so cute…
Everyone else erupts into laughter.
“Pffft HAH!” Angela slaps her knee. “I’m never letting you forget that.”
“Wait.” Sejong looks to me then to Vivian. “Is she you actually your mom?”
“What? No.” Vivian shakes her head before looking at me. “Am I?”
“Of course not.”
“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind if I was raised in a tube.”
“Again, you’re not my kid.”
“Now hold on just a minute.” Will raises his hand. “Why does Vivian get the credit card?”
“Because she’s the only one here that doesn’t cause me any trouble.”
Yuko looks at me. “The hell did I do?”
“I don’t like your attitude.”
“That’s fair.” Yuko shrugs.
“Moving on.” Vivian takes a deep breath and safely stores the card in her wallet. “Alright, Team Lovers! Let’s move out!”
“Pfft…” I finally laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Viv asks.
“Oh nothing…” I collect myself. “You just remind me of me when I was a kid.”
“Hey, don’t insult Viv like that.” Yuko chuckles.
“Get out before I hold your ass back a year.”
“Kidding kidding. Geez.” Yuko laughs, approaches me, and hands me her bunny. “You’re sure you can take care of him?”
“Of course.” I nod. “Used to raise bunnies as a kid. Just bought a whole bigass cage and a bunch of lettuce just to babysit him.”
“Okay good…” Yuko peers at me before petting the bunny. “Be a good boy, Meatball. Okay? Mommy will be right back.”
“Alright!” Vivian points to the ceiling again. “Team Lovers move out for real this time!”
“Shotgun.” Yuko raises her hand and yawns.
“No fair,” Will whines. “You got shotgun last time.”
“Should’ve called it sooner.” Yuko shrugs as her team leaves my office.
“Familia. Assemble.” Josh does a pose that is probably from a Japanese anime.
“Yeah!” Angela responds with an equally embarrassing pose.
“Sejong reporting in!” Sejong does an even more embarrassing and flamboyant pose.
The three look at Janelle.
“I’m leaving without you three.” Janelle turns immediately and books it for the door.
“Be safe!” I wave them off. “Don’t do anything that would make me look bad!”
I hope they come back okay…
Sejong
October 25, 2007. 1:21 p.m. Just about to leave Nevada and enter Utah or as Angela calls it, Mormon Country. I know nothing about these Mormons, but they sound nice. I would like to draw one. This desert air has simply been atrocious… I’ve gone through an entire bottle of lotion just driving through the Mojave. How do people even live in the desert… Live where your skin doesn’t decide to just crack open and turn to dust you heathens.
My team has been somewhat quiet the whole trip so far. Josh has been going a nice 90 all the way down the desert highway. Janelle’s been listening to something on her nano in the backseat with me. Angela’s in shotgun playing with her DS the whole time while occasionally swearing. After one more creative curse, she slams her DS shut and crosses her arms like a pouting child. “Hey! I’m mad. I need a distraction.”
“That sounds like your problem.” Josh yawns.
Janelle just continues staring out the window.
“Sejong good buddy ol girl.” Angela slithers her head around the seat cushion. “Does a straw have one hole or two holes?”
“One hole.” I reply.
Angela looks like I just said salmon, pink, and fairy tale were all the same color. “What the heckle are you talking about? Straws have two holes. One at the bottom and one at the top.”
“It’s one hole though. It’s a clean tube through.”
“So is your mouth to your butt.” Angela snickers. “Does that count as one hole?”
“That’s not the same thing.”
“Oh, don’t give me that. Just admit you’re wrong.”
Janelle cuts in. “If I punch a hole in a sheet of paper, is that one hole or two holes?”
Angela turns to her. “It’s one hole, obviously.”
“Why does that have one hole but a straw has two holes?”
“Because paper’s thin. You can touch both sides of it at once.”
“You can do the same with straws.”
“What? no you can’t!”
“Angela.” Josh gets in on this too. “Everyone here except you can touch both ends of a straw with one hand. You just have stubby fingers.”
“I do not!”
“Doesn’t change the fact that a straw has one hole.” Janelle smirks.
“Nope.” Josh shakes his head. “It has two holes.”
“Thank you, Josh.” Angela pats his head.
“Explain yourself. Show your work.” I demand.
“It’s a tube.” he looks at me through the rear-view mirror. “All tubes have two holes.”
“When you punch a hole through paper, you say ‘I punched a hole’. You don’t say ‘I punched holes in it.’”
“Aw c’mon. That’s different. A sheet of paper isn’t a tube.”
Janelle wags her finger. “It is to micro-organisms.”
“That-” Angela makes a sound resembling a damaged lawn-mower. “That’s not the same. We’re on a completely different scale.”
“Okay, Angela. Allow me to level with you. Say if there was a massive laser shot through space and shot a beam right through our planet. Did it shoot a hole through it or shoot two holes through it?”
“It shot a hole through it of c-” Angela punches the seat. “Semantics don’t reflect reality!”
“They do!” Janelle insists. “It doesn’t matter how long the tube is or how far the entrances are apart from each other. A hole is a hole. It can have two entrances, but still only be one hole.”
“Wait. Wait.” Josh slows down the car a little. “Is the ‘hole’ the tube part of the hole or just the entrance?”
“That…” I rub my chin. “That’s a good point…”
“Yeah…” Janelle falls back into her seat. “It could be both. We use those interchangeably.”
“If a hole only has one entrance, is it still a hole? Or just a ditch?” Angela asks.
“It’s still a hole.” Josh replies. “But whether it's a ditch or a hole depends on the depth.”
“How so?” Janelle asks.
“If you can see the end from the top and get out just fine, it’s a ditch. You wouldn’t exactly call a coal mine a ditch.”
“Fair enough.” Angela shrugs and falls back into her seat. “Aight I’m satisfied. You two are still wrong, but that was fun.”
“Cool beans.” Janelle flashes a hollow smile and resumes looking out the window.
“Tank’s getting low.” Josh eyes a gas station off the side of the road in the distance. “I’m gonna stop here. You guys need anything?”
“Iced tea please. With sugar.” Janelle requests.
“Sour candy.” Angela raises her hand.
“Some vegetable chips and water would be nice.” I nod.
“Pfft. Aight.” Josh flicks his hand towards Janelle. “The card?”
“Right.” Janelle hands him the card.
Josh parks next to a gas pump and walks out towards the convenience store.
Josh
October 25, 2007. 1:36 p.m. Gas station by the Nevada-Utah border. Team’s waiting in the car. It’s 98 degrees. Wearing jeans was a mistake, but hey, looking cool’s not always easy. I can feel the skin on my legs fuse with the denim. These things are gonna smell freaking gnarly. Not a soul around the station. No other cars on the roads. Only other thing outside is a dead lizard by a busted tire.
Ring
I enter the convenience store. It’s quiet. No footsteps. No flies buzzing against the windows. Not even any store music or a hello from the cashier. It reeks too. Iron, sweat, and more iron. Smells like someone jammed a damp railroad spike up my nose. The entire place is a complete wreck too. Merchandise and shelves lie scattered all over the place. I can’t take a single step without stepping on a bottle, bag, cheap sunglasses, or virility pills. The hell happ-
I look towards the register and see the cashier impaled on the wall. Got three still intact bottles of beer through his sternum and shoulders. Looks more surprised than anything. No anger. No sadness. Doesn’t even look like he knows he died. Drawn across his face is a big F written in calligraphy. Upon closer inspection, it’s definitely written in his own blood. Blood just has this… unique texture - unique quality - that can’t be replicated.
“Faust…” I feel my soul vacate out my ass. Time to just get what I need and book it. Sifting through the piles of merch, I can find the chips and iced tea no problem. Only problem is the vegetable chips… the hell even is a vegetable chip? If you’re going to eat a snack, why would you try to be healthy? Don’t halfass it. I see a knocked over shelf and look under it. Maybe there’s some-
Under the shelf, I see the bodies of two kids impaled through their necks. One looks no older than seven… the other looks to be around three. I can see sticky tears glimmer off what little light sneaks in under the shelf. I can’t see their faces because they’re face down in puddles of their own blood. Only good news is that there’s a bag of vegetable chips between them. Just going to reach in and-
twitch
One of their fingers twitched, but just for a moment.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and leave the shelf undisturbed. Before leaving, I check the cash register. No good. Every last dime was taken. As I begin to leave the store, I feel my fists curl and my teeth clench. I can feel blood drip off my palm and my teeth feel ready to shatter.
I leave, fill up on gas, get in the car, distribute the snacks, and haul ass out of there.
Janelle and Angela thank me while Sejong falls silent. “They didn’t have any?”
“No. Sorry.” I go 110 down the highway.
“I understand. Thanks anyway.” Sejong yawns and closes her eyes.
I need a shower… and a smoke.
Will
October, 25, 2007. 5:47 p.m. Utah. Driver seat. Been driving for far too long… but I had to. Everyone else insists on driving over the speed limit. I refuse to let any of my teammates endanger me like that. Yuko is taking a little nap in the shotgun seat. I warned against this. Now she’s going to be up all night and cranky in the morning. Oh well… at least A.D. and Vivian have been pleasant passengers. Both told me when they had to go to the bathroom well in advance and they always cleaned their fast food wrappers out of the cupholders. How I wish I could say the same for Yuko… Patience, Will. Patience. Turn the other cheek.
Vivian’s sitting behind Yuko and has been either talking about some nonsense with A.D., making googoo eyes at Yuko occasionally, or on her DS. A.D.’s been doing tiny exercises next to Vivian. His bottom hasn’t touched the seat once the entire trip. His calves and core must be on fire right about now… Take a break, partner.
“Willy willy.” Vivian pokes my head.
“Yeah?”
“Are we there yet?”
“Nope, but if I had to guess, I’d say we’re about twenty minutes away.”
“Cool… so. Mind if we blast some music?” Vivian asks. “I don’t like silence.”
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
“Coming right up.” I turn on the CD player and dad’s country mix CD starts gracing our ears.
Yuko’s arm strikes the CD player and shuts it off. It looked and sounded like she was trying to murder the poor thing. The rest of her still looks dead asleep.
I turn the CD player back on.
Yuko turns it off again with more force. “Take a hint, dude. No more country.”
“Oh, come now. What’s wrong with a little country?”
“Nothing, but we’ve been listening to it for two hours before this…” Vivian groans like a kid being dragged to school. “We need something better.”
“What? But what could be better than songs about the plight of the working class, admiring the little things in life, and beautiful blonde women?”
Yuko’s face lights up and her lips curl into a distasteful grin. “Oooh you want a piece of me too, huh? Maybe Janelle was onto something.”
“Don’t test me, Siren.” I keep my eyes locked on the road. “We all know you aren’t really blonde.”
“Wait what?!” Vivian pokes her head out from the backseat. “Yuko! You’re not blonde?!”
“Vivian.” Yuko facepalms and starts laughing. The laughter sounds painful. “Where the crap have you seen a naturally blonde asian?”
“Yuko, we are literally superheroes on our way to stop a league of villains that include a corgi and a girl made out of diamonds. I’m fairly certain a blonde asian isn’t too far out of the ballpark.”
“She’s got ya there.” A.D. nods.
“Don’t care. Country music’s gotta go.” Yuko mashes the Change CD button and changes it to her tracks. The music starts to play. It’s a faint techno sound… Rather tranquil.
Yeah… Broke up with my girl last night so I went to the club so I went to the club
Put on a fresh white suit in a Mini coupe sitting on dubs sitting on dubs
I’m just looking for somebody to talk to and show me some love
Yuko begins nodding her head and tapping her finger on the armrest. “It’s the good stuff.”
Huh… Is this the music that the city children listen to? Not my cup of whiskey per se, but it’s… melodic. I just wish the lyrics were more… deep.
The rest of the team listens in silence for the next few minutes before A.D. speaks up. “Aw that’s no good. I can’t get down to this half an hour before my evening run.” A.D. reaches over for the CD player, but Yuko intercepts him and they engage in a slap fight.
“Let me get one song! I deserve this!” Each of Yuko’s words are accompanied by another slap.
“But everyone deserves mine as well!” A.D. parries each of Yuko’s slaps, but makes no progress towards the CD player.
“Yuko, come on.” Vivian pokes the back of her head. “Let him have one.”
“Let me finish my one first.”
“But yours is bad.” A.D. retorts.
“Is not! Right, Viv?”
“It’s okay.” Vivian nods. “I don’t mind it. It isn’t for me though.”
“See?” Yuko motions towards Vivian. “Team leader says it’s okay so it stays.”
“Whoa whoa now.” I interject. “When did we agree that Vivian was the leader?”
“Just now.”
“Hey, Yuko?” Vivian taps her shoulder. “Do you remember how everyone had a veto vote for the day?”
“Sounds familiar.”
“I would hope so.” I smirk in the rearview mirror. “You’ve used it six times today.”
“I’m about to veto your face.” Yuko looks at me with her hand still over the CD buttons.
“Never attack the driver, darling.” I maintain my smile.
“I don’t care. I’ll attack anyone I want.”
“A.D. now!” Vivian reaches around Yuko’s seat, plants her fingers into Yuko’s sides, and begins tickling her.
“Wh-PFTAHAHAHAJKL! S-STAHPKGL!” Yuko begins thrashing like an epileptic chihuahua. I realize that imagery must sound hilarious. It isn’t. I miss Taquito every day. Her head thrashes about and her hands desperately try to pry Vivian’s fingers off her sides.
“Nice tag in!” A.D. shoots Vivian a thumbs up before pressing the CD changer once.
bzzt-whirr-cashink
The CD changes all while Yuko continues to howl and pant. “VIV! PFfthaL! STAHP!”
“NEVER! THIS IS TOO MUCH FUN!” Vivian begins laughing like a supervillain.
Before long, the iconic intro to Eye of the Tiger starts playing.
“Ohoho, A.D.” I wag my finger at him in the rear view mirror. “You are a good man.”
“This again?” Vivian lets go of Yuko and falls back into her seat.
“Aw come on, Viv.” A.D. lightly jabs her in the shoulder. “Doesn’t this make you want to climb mountain tops and take on the world?”
“I mean… if it was like 2 p.m. it would. I kinda just want a pizza and go to bed.”
“Same.” Yuko coughs and composes herself. “I need something that I haven’t listened to a billion times.”
“Could you bear with it?” I begin tapping my free foot to the beat. “We’re only about ten minutes away from the hotel.”
“Fine…” Yuko stares out the window and pouts.
Meanwhile A.D. looks like he’s having the time of his life.
Four minutes later, the track stops and the Rocky theme starts playing.
“This one’s playing too.” A.D. insists.
“Nope.” Yuko and A.D. get into another slap fight over the CD player.
“Guys. Guys.” Vivian puts her hand between them. “Allow me to educate you all.” she presses a button under the CD player.
bzzt-whirr-cashink
A melancholic piano starts to play. It’s sad, but full of vigor.
When I was
a young boy
my father
took me into the city
to see a marching band
“My dude.” A.D. stops slapfighting Yuko and fistbumps her shoulder. “Yeah.”
“Viv.” all annoyance evaporates from Yuko’s face. “Good call.”
Before I knew it, a drum line and powerful vocals cut in as if they just executed the piano. This is not my genre. This is not my taste. I know not of this singer or this band. And yet… there is something utterly captivating about it. No. Captivating is too strong a word. For now, it is merely intriguing. My team seems to be enjoying it though. I suppose I can just sit back in silence and let them enjoy it.
Four minutes later
A.D., Yuko, and Vivian begin screaming at the top of their lungs. “I! DON’T! CARE!”
“We’ll carry on!” Vivian beats her chest as A.D. and Yuko bang their heads.
“We’ll carry on!” A.D. jumps in without letting up on the headbanging.
“And through your dead and gone, believe me, your memory will carry on!” Yuko’s voice glides in like a summer breeze. It’s smooth, but more powerful than anything I’ve ever heard. She’s louder than the other two, but her voice doesn’t drown them out. It’s more like she’s leading them.
Something… new is welling up within me. I am not sure if this is Yuko’s tech or if my ears have been opened to this macabre genre of rock. My heart’s racing. I want to run. I want to fight. I am getting so excited I am going five over the speed limit, yet I do not care. The awkward, but passionate serenade of my teammates is drowning out everything else. Each of them are bouncing off each other and continuing on the song without missing a beat. I… I must participate. Though I have never heard this song before, I can feel the next lyrics.
“DO OR DIE!” My soul cries out. “YOU’LL NEVER MAKE ME! BECAUSE THE WORLD WILL NEVER TAKE MY HEART!”
A genuine smile grows across Yuko’s lips as she takes it from here. “You can try you’ll never break me-”
Vivian resumes singing alongside Yuko. “we wanna know we want to play this part!”
A.D. belts out the final drumline on the back of my seat.
The song’s drumline grows quieter and fades into nothingness once I park in the hotel’s parking lot.
I feel forever changed. I can only pray that my teammates felt it too.
Josh
October, 25, 2007. 7:39 p.m. On a bench by the hotel parking lot.
Yuko sits down next to me and immediately plonks her head on my shoulder. “Joshyyyy.”
“You know you owe me like $78 in smokes right?” I look down at her and manage to peek down her shirt. Damn… Vivian’s so lucky.
“Mind if I make it $79?” she looks up at me and bats her lashes.
“Do you even have to ask?” I reach into my pocket, slide a smoke between her lips, and light it for her.
She burns through half of it in one breath and lets it sit for a while before letting it all out. “Aaaaw… yeah…” Her whole body twitches for a sec as she gazes up at the moon. “Damn… you have know idea how much I needed that.”
“I could imagine.” I take two more out, pop them in my mouth, and light up. “You nervous or-?”
“Hell no.” Yuko interrupts. “Just sick of being locked in a car all day.”
“You don’t have to lie, ya know.” I look up at the full moon. I always hated the moon. No matter what happens, no matter what goes to hell, the moon just stays there. Looking down on all of us. “It’s fine to be scared about the mission. Lord knows I’m nervous.”
“I’m not lying.” Yuko takes another deep inhale. I can see her arm tremble, but only for a moment. “I just really don’t want to be here.”
Heh. You’re not the only one, kiddo. “Yeah, well. You’re here. Might as well try to make the most of it.”
“Ok, dad.”
“Do you at least like your team?”
“I dunno.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means I. don’t. know. Did I stutter?”
“Never mind. I think I get what you mean.” What the hell does she mean?
“Good…” she sighs. “Just, why send us to deal with this villain league? Can’t some bigwig superheroes take care of this?”
Lord knows I’ve asked that question far too many times. “I’m sure they’re busy. The world’s a bit of a shitehole. There’s only so much hero to go around, ya know?”
“I guess…” Yuko sighs and lets out a cloud of smoke around her. She drops the nub of her smoke onto the ground and opens her hand towards me. “Gimme.”
“You know these are bad for your throat.” I look towards her, but she still has her eyes glued to the moon, as if she refuses to look at anything else.
“You literally have two in you right now.”
“Yeah, but I don’t have a voice-dependent Tech.”
“Look… Josh…” Yuko rests her head on my shoulder again. “I have a lot on my mind right now. I don’t need nagging…”
“Wanna talk about it?” My hand starts fiddling with my lighter. “That always helps me.”
“Some things don’t need to be said.” she waves her hand. “Gimme. Now.”
“Heh.” I fish another one out and oblige her. “You really are a brat, ya know that?” I light her up.
“If you were me, you’d be a brat too.” Yuko takes another deep puff. “Trust me.”
“Hey. It could always be worse.”
“Could be a hell of a lot better.”
“You know what? Fair.” I take a deep breath and look up at the moon once more. “Do you see something up there?”
“No…” Yuko closes her eyes. “But… I think I hear something. It’s faint, but I know it’s there…”
“You’re probably just imagining things. I can’t hear anything.”
“Hope you’re right…” Yuko falls back into silence.
The two of us just sit on the bench for a while. Nothing but the moon, street lights, and car headlights illuminate the scene. Aside from a car occasionally passing by, the site’s completely silent.
I finish my two smokes, throw them into a nearby trash can Kobe-style, and get up. “This was nice. Love to stay for more, but Angie would kill me if she smells smoke on me again.”
“Yo, Josh.” Yuko says without taking her eyes off the moon. “What do you think paradise is?”
“Are we talking about The Paradiso or what my ideal place is?”
“The hell do you think I’m talking about?”
“Right… Hmm… Let me think about that one…” I sit back down and rub my gorgeous stubble. Paradise… paradise… Never actually considered that… I mean, I kinda just want to be filthy rich and eat damn good food. I can’t say that though. That’s not cool at all. I need to think of something deep to impress her… Got it. “Paradise is when you can die happy.”
“Hm. Never heard that one before. Go on.”
“When you got nothing more to accomplish, when everyone you know and love is taken care of, when all debts and favors are repaid, and when all wrongs are corrected… I can just lie down and look at the sunset until I waste away.”
“I see. What do you want to accomplish then?”
“I’m not done yet. That’s what I used to think. Then I met Angie. Something… changed. I… I became afraid to die. No matter how much I did, no matter how many scores I settled, no matter how many favors I repaid, I was scared… scared of missing out.”
“Missing out on what?”
“My team. Now, I think heaven is more about who I’m with than a state of mind. I’d rather be in a foxhole with my team than living it up on some resort all by myself.”
A small, but wry smile curls across Yuko’s face. “I see… very cool, mr. poet. Go have fun with your girlfriend. I’m going to stay out here a little while longer.”
“She’s not my girlfriend, but will do.” I give Yuko a little salute and hustle back over to the hotel.
Yuko
October, 25, 2007. 8:03 p.m. On a bench outside the hotel.
Who you’re with, huh… I let the smoke wash over me. How did I let Viv talk me into this? The hell am I doing here? Why am I letting my team do this… We could just bail. I’m worth way more than Chicago. I shouldn’t be here. We shouldn’t be here.
I savor the last smoke, drop it, and stamp it out on the concrete. Aight… time to go back in I guess. I need a shower. Get up, stretch my back, and begin to head back inside. Halfway through the parking lot, I hear Viv’s voice in the distance. It’s coming from the right side of the hotel. Might as well check what she’s up to. I press my back to the wall and walk over to the corner of the hotel. Her voice grows closer and closer. I stop just shy of turning the corner. She sounds like she’s talking on the phone. At least I hope she’s talking on the phone. If she’s talking to herself, I might just have to dump her. That’s weird…
“C’mon… pick up.” Vivian says tapping her foot against the pavement. “You told me to call you.”
Is she calling Oso right now?
“Hey, mom? Yeah! It’s me!” Her voice perks up.
That’s a relief…
“Sorry I haven’t called lately. Things have been kinda hectic. Yes, I’m fine. No I haven’t made friends with any supervillains. Well, at least I don’t think I have.” she laughs. “Kidding. I’m kidding. Everyone I’ve met has been super nice to me so far. Even managed to get on the Headmaster’s good side. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah I’m not sure how I managed that either. Maybe I just got real lucky this time. Eh? Oh, I’m actually on the way to Chicago right now. Something about a sister school exchange program or something. I’ll be sure to get you a souvenir. Yes. Yes. I know you want pictures, but I just don’t like taking pictures. What? Because you can look up anything worth seeing from Chicago online. Those pictures aren’t going to just disappear. Chicago’s not just going to disappear. Uh huh. Okay… Okay. Fair. I only take pictures of things that are important to me. Okay. Okay. At least one pic a day. I promise. Yes, I promise. Do you want any toffee or postcards from Utah while we’re here? You got it.”
Vivian takes a deep breath. “Of course. Eh? Oh, yeah. My team’s great. Will, A.D., and Yuko. No. I don’t know what A.D. stands for. I didn’t ask because I didn’t think it was important. Fine… Fine. I’ll ask him if you’re that curious. Oh, Will’s… a good catholic boy. Had a bit of an edgy phase, but he’s really nice and means well. Also has a super cool Tech. He can make anything super sharp by running his hand over it. No he hasn’t cut me by accident. Thank you for your concern. Uh huh. Mom, no. A.D.? Oh, he’s… um… basically a video game character. It’s hard to explain without seeing it. No he isn’t made of polygons. Yes he’s nice. A total health nut and maybe just a bit too idealistic, but a reliable ally. Real good training partner too.”
Vivian inhales through her teeth and rubs her stomach. “Maybe a bit too good. Heh. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. No. It’s not Yuno. It’s Yuko. No mom, she’s kenyan, of course she’s Japanese. Mom! Don’t say that!” Vivian cringes and starts laughing. “I don’t care if it’s true, don’t say it. Thank you. She’s… um… She’s good. A bit mean, a bit smelly, but good. Really good. She’s my favorite teammate so far. What do I mean? I dunno… something just clicks with her, you know? There’s no beating around the bush with her. She just tells it to you straight. Also, she’s super tall and has an amazing singing voice. She could totally be a singer. Yes… Yes I’ll send you pics. I promise…”
Vivian sighs, but it’s a content sigh. At least I hope it’s a content sigh. “I’m just… happy here. I’ve finally made some friends.” her voice sounds more tender; more vulnerable. “Thank you… they’re like, actual friends. A boyfriend? Uh… Um… I’m… working on it. Yes, of course I’m coming home for Thanksgiving. Why wouldn’t I? Really? Thank you. I’ll be sure to tell ‘em that. Alright. Thank you, mom. You’re too kind. Anyway, how’s Bandit? He still chunky? Good, good. Of course he chewed up the couch again. He’s a puppy. He needs to teethe. Alright… Alright. Yes, I’ll call you more often. Thanks again, mom. It’s great to hear from you. Gotcha. Of course. Love you, bye bye.”
Vivian claps her phone shut and her footsteps begin drawing close to the corner.
I book it out of there and sprint back into the hotel. Why am I smiling so hard?
Vivian
October, 25, 2007. 8:17 p.m. Outside the hotel.
I fish the napkin Will gave me out of my pocket and put the number into my phone. Come on… pick up.
After only two rings, someone picks up. “Welcome!” Oso answers. “To the grandest, biggest, baddest heel the west side of the Mississippi has ever seen! Need someone bullied, I’m on it. Need a birthday party ruined? Consider it done. Need a kid kicked or a puppy kidnapped? I’m your man. No job is too petty or too shameful for Loco Oso! What can I do ya for?”
“Hey, Oso. It’s You. You know, stop sign girl from the Colosseum?”
“You…” Oso’s customer service voice evaporates and is replaced by a legitimately threatening tone. I would be threatened, but I’m too overjoyed that my codename actually worked as intended. “How did you get this number?”
“Will gave it to me.”
“Right… Probably shoulda burned this phone. The hell do you want?”
“I just want to talk. Can we talk?”
Oso pauses. “Uh… sure? What, you wanna ask me on a date or something? Cause I’m taken.” Confusion engulfs his voice.
“I’ve noticed my body gets possessed by something whenever a mission involves you or your teammates… would you happen to know anything about that?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Really? Does the name Junko mean anything to you?”
Oso pauses again. He remains silent for about three seconds before I hear the mother of all sighs from the other end. “The hell do you want with her?”
“I want to ask her some questions. That’s all. Is it possible to put her on the line?”
“No. Ghosts can’t talk via phones. Even if she could, I’d nev- ack… HNGH HMPF!” Oso sounds like he’s having a stroke for about ten seconds.
“Everything alright there?”
I hear something heavy hit the ground on the other end of the line. “Okay okay… fine. Yes, I’m talking to someone. Her name’s… uh. ‘Yu’ apparently. The one from the Colosseum. Why do you want to talk to her? What? Why?” Oso pauses and sighs. “There’s just no arguing with you, is there?”
“You still okay there?”
“Yeah… Junko just got a little assertive.” Oso sighs. “She wants to talk to you too. Do you have a bathtub and some cheese?”
“I got a bathtub nearby… does the kind of cheese matter?”
“She prefers mozzarella, but swiss will do. Just get a hot bath ready and drop some cheese in it. That’d summon her in an instant.”
“How did you discover that?”
“I uh… was eating some pizza in the bath and she just kinda showed up… Don’t ask me how it works. It just works, alright?”
“Thank you, Oso. I really appreciate it.” I move my finger to hang up.
“If you exorcise her, you will die.”
“Don’t you worry.” I chuckle. “I could never exorcise such a cute ghost.” I hang up, head to the convenience store across the street, buy some cheese, and book it back to the hotel room. It’s the nicest hotel room I’ve ever been in. Two king sized beds each with about eight pillows. Old, but pretty sizable and functioning tv. Small closets full of bathrobes, ironing board, and safe. Yuko’s just playing with her phone on the bed. Will is flipping through the channels on the tv. A.D. leaves the room as soon as I enter to go running.
“Hey guys.” I immediately hook a left and try to enter the bathroom with packets of mozzarella cheese cradled delicately in my arms.
“What are you doing with all them sticks of mozzarella?” Will mutes the tv.
“I’m going to eat cheese and take a bath. At the same time.”
“Oooh…”Yuko closes her phone and turns to me. “Now that sounds like a good time.”
“Wanna join?” I run my hand up my thigh.
“Thanks, but no thanks…” Yuko’s voice cracks. “I’m tired…”
I shrug, enter the bathroom, and lock the door behind me. Whoa. Pretty big bath too. I could lie down in it on my back and completely stretch out my limbs if I wanted, but I won’t. Cheese time comes first. Plug the drain, get some hot water in, and wait. While the tub is filling, I free the cheese sticks from their packaging and toss them in one by one into the tub.
When I have no more cheese to chuck, the tub is halfway full. Steam has clouded the bathroom mirror and the temperature has increased quite a bit. Geez… might as well take a bath… Be a shame to let the water go to waste. I disrobe, tuck my clothes under the sink, step into the bath, and sit down. I couldn’t help myself. I ate two cheese sticks waiting for Junko to show up. The hot water makes the cheese better actually. Trust me. I’m not making this up. Really enhances the flavor.
Just as I’m about to grab my third cheese stick, I see a pale form appear next to me in the tub. Long black hair, tired looking face, translucent body. When I say translucent, I mean I can just see her muscles, bones, and hollow blood vessels. Yep. That’s Junko. At least I hope it’s Junko. If it isn’t, I am going to be very scared.
“Aaaw… Yes…” the form speaks up. It’s meek, but earnest. Dripping with honesty and drenched in sadness. “Thank you so much. I have been dying for a hot bath.”
“Did…” I look at her and feel my eyes twitch. “Did you just make a ghost pun?”
“It would be a waste not to, no?” she smiles before picking up a half-dissolved piece of cheese and eating it. The cheese falls right through her, but her throat, mouth, and teeth all move as if she can taste it. “And the cheese is delectable… pray tell, where did you buy this?”
“Seven-Eleven.”
“Good…” the more time Junko spends in the bathtub, the more her hair starts to spread out and fill the tub. Each strand is moving and wriggling against me as if each one was a tendril looking for something to latch onto. I’m so happy Angela isn’t here… she’d cream her pants if she saw this.
It’s quiet. Really quiet. Only the faint sound of cheese slapping against water can be heard. Junko is still going at the cheese. I shudder to think what she would have done if I had gotten cheddar. “So… uh… You really like cheese huh?”
“Absolutely. Thank you again for indulging me.”
“No prob…” I can’t take my eyes off her hair. Partly due to fascination, partly due to fear. Okay, mostly due to fear. “Your hair is so shiny and smooth... Do you use ghost conditioner?”
Junko lets out a little chuckle. “That would be unnecessary. Ghosts appear different to every mortal depending on their relationship with the viewer.”
“Oh… that’s… intriguing.” I look at Junko then back down to her hair.
“Why? What do I look like to you?”
“You look like some kind of half dead spooky ghost girl. It’s cool, if a little terrifying.”
“I see…” Junko chuckles. “I assume my hair looks abnormally long to you?”
“Oooh yeah.”
“That’s normal.” she smiles at me. “People get possessed by a ghost called Junko and their brain immediately jumps to every Japanese ghost stereotype. It happens to everyone.”
“I see…” Fascinating… I must interview her more. “What do I look like to you?”
“You look like a moderately healthy and athletic, but unremarkable woman.”
“Uhh… thanks?”
“You would be a lot cuter if you didn’t impale my boyfriend.”
“Wait… what?!” I nearly hop out of the tub, but Junko’s hair keeps me in place. “How does that even work? Can he like… ya know…?” I make phallic motions with my hands.
“You would be surprised just how perverse ghost sex can be.” Junko’s face contorts into a smile that is simply impossible for human lips. Her lips stretch up and around past her eyeballs to flash a smile containing countless teeth. “But, moving on.” she blinks and her face returns to normal. “What did you want to talk about?”
I take a deep breath, hold her hand, and look her in the eye. “How did you die?”