Vivian
September 3rd, 2007. 12:51 p.m. Not a cloud in the sky. A large cargo plane flies above an uninhabited archipelago a few hundred miles off the California coast. Inside are a few dozen college students each outfitted in red jumpsuits, helmets, goggles, and parachutes strapped to their backs.
There’s an utter dork of a man sitting next to me with a cowboy hat wielding a bamboo sword. He’s just a little taller than me. Pale skin. Got some freckles on his cheeks. I’m not lying. He looks like he’s cosplaying his OC. Across from me is an utter tower of a woman who really doesn’t want to be here putting on some mascara under her goggles. Has to be at least six feet tall. She reminds me of the girl that used to curse out the janitor at my elementary school. I hope she’s nice. On the other side of me is this utter gremlin of a girl playing Pokemon Diamond. Gotta be under five feet. Cute chubby cheeks. She chose Turtwig. I’m sure we’ll be good friends. Next to her is Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome who looks like he just got out of Church. He looks like he could tear me in half just by looking at me, but his smile insists he’d never do that. At the end of the plane is a tan dude doing pushups. He looks and smells like he just got out of a hype fighting tournament. Even has a headband on. Real tall. Not as tall as Tall, Dark, and Handsome, but tall.
“Welcome welcome, students.” A cheeky voice speaks from the intercom. Sounds like a woman who’s done this schtick before, but never gets tired of it. “If you’re not ready to jump, well, it’s frankly a little late to chicken out. If you survive this test, congrats. If not, well, your signature on the release form will prevent your families from suing us. Good luck.”
“Wait, what?!” The rich-looking woman yells at the intercom.
BZZZZZZZZT
An obnoxious buzzer buzzes and the cargo door opens, causing the wind to drown out everyone’s complaints.
You know… the sky looks… really, really big from up here… maybe I could just go back to normal school… maybe be a plastic surgeon or something.
The cowboy with the bamboo sword gets up immediately, gives us a short salute, and jumps out of the plane holding his hat.
Tall, Dark, and Handsome stands up, but the short gamer girl hangs onto his side like a koala. “I don’t wanna go! I’m staying with you!”
“Nope.” Tall, Dark, and Handsome pries her off and chuckles. “You’re making new friends!” He pats her head before chucking her out of the plane.
The rest of the class just sits in silence and looks down at the archipelago.
I take a deep breath, stand up, and clench the coin in my palm. C’mon… just do it like Dante… be cool… I look back at the class and fall backwards out of the plane headfirst.
“These people are crazy!” The rich woman yells.
“Aaaaw c’mon!” The guy with the headband picks up the woman and jumps out with her. “This’ll be fun!”
“NONONONONONOOOOOO!!!” The woman protests, but it is too late. They begin falling together and quickly catch up to me.
I fall facing upward and soon see the rest of the class begin falling behind me.
Wind. Wind. Nothing but harsh wind, frigid air, and blinding sunlight. Nothing unusual for the Pacific. I can’t hear them, but my classmates are very clearly not having a good time. A bunch of them are flailing their limbs and look like they’re desperately trying to fly back into the plane. Only Tall, Dark, and Handsome and the Cowboy look like they know what they’re doing. God, the wind’s killing my nose.
I look to my side and see a classmate pull their chute. Time to follow suit. My descent slows to a crawl in a manner of seconds. Damn… that was fun. I gotta do that more often. As I slow down, the harsh wind calms down to the warm socal breeze I know and tolerate so much. Only a handful of students are floating beneath me. Out of the corner of my eye, I can still see the Cowboy. He still looks like he knows what he’s doing. I’ll follow him.
I adjust the levers on my chute and follow the cowboy.
The cowboy drops on the coast and unhooks from his parachute before he even touches the ground. After he lands, he begins stripping off his jumpsuit, revealing a simple outfit consisting of jeans, an expensive leather belt, a worn plain white t-shirt, a fashionable indigo scarf, and a jacket that he refuses to put his arms into. He just kinda wears it on his shoulders like some kind of cape.
Unfortunately, I can’t really change my course anymore. I’m trying to unstrap myself from the parachute, but it’s no use. I am on a collision course with a cowboy.
“Hey! Hey!” I wiggle my limbs. “Look out!”
“What in tar-” The cowboy turns to face me, but it is too late.
Not gonna exaggerate. I kinda sorta body slammed him. “Ow… Crap…” I look down and see the cowboy covered in sand with his face sandwiched neatly between my thighs. “You alright there?” I flick some sand off his nose.
The cowboy closes his eyes and sighs deeply. “Could you please get off me?”
“For sure.” I get off the cowboy and offer my hand to help him up.
The cowboy gets up on his own and dusts some sand off his hat. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be on my way.” He tips his hat and heads towards the jungle inland.
“Wait!” I follow close behind him. “Come on, don’t you think it would be a better idea to stick together? Two heads better than one and all that.”
“I don’t think so.” The cowboy walks faster and begins cutting through the thick underbrush and vines.
“Oh, come on. It’s not a competition. My name is Vivian.” I hop over the first puddle of quicksand I’ve ever seen in my life. “What’s yours? Work with me here.”
“Look, lady.” The cowboy points his blade at me. “It’s nothing personal. You’ll just hold me back. Find some other partner.”
“Make me.” I cross my arms.
“Hm…” The cowboy strokes his stubble. “Interesting proposition. Let me tell you my counter-offer.” He turns around and sprints full speed ahead into the jungle.
“No you don’t!” I sprint after him, but I have no hope of keeping up. I knew I shouldn’t have quit the track team. The cowboy yeehaw’s off and disappears into the deep recesses of the jungle.
“Damn you!” I bend over, rest against the side of a tree, and catch my breath. “Befriend... me... you coward!”
“Can you quiet down?!” a woman’s voice rings from above me.
“Wha?” I look up and found the tall woman strung up by her parachute 20 feet off the ground along the same tree’s branches. She’s holding her helmet in her hands and has wet mascara dripping down her cheeks. Her blonde, accessory-drenched hair is in a complete mess. In all fairness, I’m sure I look worse. Upon closer inspection, her hair still looks pretty good, though that’s probably just my bias towards messy hair.
“Can you please help me down already?” The woman groans.
“Only if you tell me your name.”
“What?!” the woman grits her teeth.
“Only if you tell me your name.” I smile.
“It’s Yuko! Now can you please get me down?!”
“On it!” I look around the area and pat my body down looking for a pocket knife or anything else I could use. I wound up finding nothing and absentmindedly started cupping my chest. “I got nothing on me. Is there a way you prefer to be cut down or?”
“No.” Yuko purses her lips. “Just do it, like, now.”
“You got it.” I wink and shoot Yuko a thumbs-up before looking around the immediate area some more.
“What are you doing?!”
“I’m going to get you down.” I find a fallen leaf, crouch down, put it by the trunk of the tree, and press one finger on the leaf and one palm to the tree.
“Is this going to help me-”
“Just be patient. I gotchu.” I shoot the ungrateful Yuko another thumbs-up before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. The tree Yuko was caught in begins shrinking down at a tremendous pace. In a matter of seconds, the once massive, imposing tree looks like it belongs in a bonsai garden. As the tree shrinks, the dead leaf at my feet grows thirty feet in diameter. It looks silly and out of place, but it works.
Yuko lands on the leaf and causes the whole thing to produce a real satisfying crunch. She immediately begins unfastening her parachute and taking off her jumpsuit, revealing herself to be a complete and utter babe. This girl is really out here rocking a school uniform that she really grew out of. Tummy exposed. Decked out in cute; yet completely impractical, accessories. I’m not sure if I should admire or fear her fingernails. She’s even got a real slick looking open vest that looks more expensive than my last five paychecks. Seriously, who the hell wears a vest anymore? Is that some kind of rich girl thing?
Yuko
After taking her sweet time, the little wench finally gets me down. I take off that ghastly jumpsuit, pull a brush out from my bra, and begin fixing my hair. Ugh… I think I just saw a caterpillar fall out. Don’t freak. Don’t freak. Just go on autopilot and you’ll be home before you know it.
“So…” Vivian speaks up. “Do you need a partner or anything?”
I turn around to face her and notice her eyes quickly rise to meet mine. “Eyes are up here.”
Vivian straightens her back and maintains eye contact. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
I snort a little. “Relax. That was just a joke.” I sigh upon seeing a beetle fly out of my hair. “Well… my last ‘partner’ bailed.”
“Oh, yeah. Didn’t that fighting dude jump out of the plane with you? What happened to him?”
I manage to get my hair to a somewhat presentable condition. “He said some nonsense about ‘practicing his aerial EX command grab’ and threw me.”
I can see Vivian trying; and miserably failing, not to laugh. “O-oh. That’s. Weird. Uh… so, do you want to be my partner?”
“That depends. Are you going to throw me?”
“I’ll try not to.”
How am I supposed to respond to that? “Very well.” I sigh. “Lead the way.” I glance at my brush. “Do you want to brush your hair? You look like you could use it.”
“Naah no thanks.” Vivian ran her fingers through her hair pretending to be a model. I can hear her tear the knots out. “Just gotta let it roam free sometimes.” She begins marching deeper into the jungle.
Her hair looks… bad. Just, bad. I stuff the brush back into my bra and begin following her. “Why are you marching into the jungle?”
“I’m going after the cowboy. He looks like a good third teammate.” Vivian says without slowing down.
“Shouldn't we look for the treasure we were assigned? Wouldn’t that get this thing over with faster?”
“Hm…” Vivian stops and turns to face me. “What was your clue?”
I retrieve a scrap of paper from my bra, unfold it, and read it aloud. “What you seek lies underneath Psmathe. But beware, reckless searching will only bring you Misznays.”
“So… do you just store everything in there?”
“What? Are you mad that you can’t?”
“Oh, I can,” Vivian smirks. “I just don’t want to.”
“Uh huh… sure thing.”
“Back on topic.” Vivian waves her hand. “My clue was…” she purses her well-moisturized lips. It’s the most presentable part of her. Wonder what kind of lip balm she uses. It has a faint apple smell to it. “My clue… was…”
“Don’t tell me you forgot it.” I put the paper back in my shirt.
“Of course I remember. I was just pausing for dramatic effect.” Vivian snaps her fingers. “Got it! When all treasures have been gathered, the king of tyrants shall rise from Leviathan. Within the king, you shall find your just reward.”
“Is that it?”
“Yep. 100% sure that’s all there is.”
“Hm… I see. I figure your treasure is only obtainable once all the other treasures have been gathered.”
“Aaah.” Vivian smiles and stretches her arms. “That makes things easier.”
“And I still can’t make heads or tails of my clue.”
“Really? I thought it was pretty obvious.”
“Oh then do tell, Sherlock. Please bless me with your wisdom.”
“Psmathe is a Greek sea nymph. She was the goddess of sand beaches and was the wife of Proteus, who was supposedly the first son of Poseidon.”
“Oh, of course.” I have a sudden urge to strangle whoever designed this hint. “The legendary and super well-known greek figure Psmathe. It was so obvious. How was anyone supposed to get that?”
“Just gotta brush up on your greek mythology, bruh.” Vivian flashes a very-punchable smile.
“Why should I? Egyptian mythology’s better.”
“For the sake of our friendship, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Vivian nods.
“That still doesn’t explain what a Misznay is…” I scratch my neck. “Do you have any ideas? Is it another obscure mythology reference?”
“Could be.” Vivian shrugs. “Though it doesn’t sound like it. Wanna just head back to the beach?”
“Yes, but before we do, shouldn’t you get out of that jumpsuit?” I finally drop my helmet. “You look like a huge dork.”
“A huge, well-protected dork.” Vivian knocks on her helmet and leads the way back to the beach. She walks like a child imitating a cartoon character. She even hums off key like one. I feel bad for whoever her future teammates are. “Wait… while we’re on the subject-” Vivian spins around to face me and nearly falls into a nearby quicksand pit. “What’s your last name?”
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I sigh. “Kaneko.”
“Kaneko… Kaneko…” Vivian taps her temple and sticks her tongue out. “Where have I heard that name before?”
Great. Here it comes.
“Wait…” Vivian’s lips curl into a disgusting grin. “Are you related to Kazuma Kaneko?”
“Uhh… No. I don’t know a Kazuma.”
“Sunglass? Flower field? Really good artist?” Vivian looks to the side and raises her arms. She looks like she’s beckoning… something. I don’t wanna know what. “That Kaneko?”
“I have zero idea who you’re talking about.” My head starts to hurt just listening to this wench.
“Aw darn. Aw well.” Vivian points to her chest and winks. “Last name’s Manalastas and it might be yours one day.”
I stare at her in absolute silence. I feel like I’m getting dumber every time she opens her mouth.
“Really?” Vivian starts to sweat. “Not even a chuckle? Come on… don’t just sandbag me like that…”
I walk right past her towards the beach and she; unfortunately, starts following me.
Will
Birds are chirping. Sun sneaks in through the dense jungle leaves. Not a single shout. Not a single person. Pure. Serenity. I exhale and make my way deeper into the forest with my sword on my shoulder. I dig into my pocket and reread my hint, “In the sea of trees is what you seek. Loners beware, you are not meek. A partner, friend, or ally is what you’ll need, lest you be as useful as a seed.” Yeah. Okay. I can get this done in under an hour, get a good photo op in, and maybe take on another mission before bedtime. Assuming they have any missions worth doing.
“C-c-c-c-combo breaker!” A voice cries out deeper in the forest. It is followed swiftly by the roar of a bear.
“Sweet goodness… what now…” Despite my better judgment, I go in and see what in tarnation is going on. I cut through some no good shrubbery and disgusting branches and find a small clearing where a man dressed in a pristine karate gi is fighting an upright bear… and winning. A girl holding a folding chrome device is cheering him on by shouting commands at him.
“RRRRAWR!” Roared the bear before swiping at the man with its big meaty claws.
“Haaa…” the man exhales, takes a firm stance, and takes the claw right to the face. He doesn’t flinch. His face looks completely uninjured. He doesn’t even let out a yelp.
“Alright, A.D.!” shouted the girl. “Now use Bide!”
“HAAAAAA!” The man shouts and strikes the bear square in the solar plexus.
The bear recoils from the hit and crumbles to the floor.
“A.D. WINS!” the girl claps and whistles.
“Thank you, thank you.” The man bows and waves to her before turning back to the fallen bear. “You were a noble fighter. I would love to fight again sometime.”
“Rawr…” the bear whimpers.
“Aaaw don’t be like that. Here.” the man bends down and helps the bear up. “We’ll get you all patched up and you can tell your friends that you beat me. How’s that sound?”
“Rawr…” the bear nods.
“Attagirl.” The man pets the bear’s back, causing a gold medal to fall out of the fur. “Oho, what’s this?”
“Rawr…” the bear shrugs.
“Oooooh. So that’s what my hint was talking about.” The man bends down and collects his medal. “Thank you, bear. I will forever remember you as my most noble adversary.”
“Rawr…” The bear licks the man.
I pretend I never saw that and continue deeper into the jungle. I find a small stone cave that looks out of place and decide to go inside. Inside is a small room with two switches on opposite ends of it. It is impossible for me to reach both switches at the same time. I place my foot on one, but it does not budge. I press my foot down and it still does not budge. I stand on the switch and feel it depress into the ground. I see. Reckon it needs at least 100 pounds to be activated. I know. I go outside, chop down a tree, cut it into 20 pound chunks, and carry each chunk onto the other switch until it depresses. I then stand on the other switch. Two intercoms emerge from the cave walls by each switch.
“Please say your name.” the intercom demands.
“Bill.”
“Please say your name.” the intercom on the other end of the room demands.
“Bill.” I say louder.
“Trial denied. The presence of a partner is required, you edgy loner.”
“Goshdarnit!” I step out of the cave and look around for someone to use. “Hello? Anyone?” I pause and breathe through my nose. “Can anyone help me?”
I see a woman emerge from the shrubs. She looks bundled up for winter complete with a jacket, mittens, and a beanie. Looks filipino. Kinda stocky. Plump cheeks. Big poofy ball on top of the beanie. Looks a little shorter than me.
“Oh. Uhhh…” she looks around before finally looking at me. “I didn’t come because you needed help, I just kinda just showed up here. Sorry.”
“That’s nice. Can you just help me with something? I promise it won’t take long.”
“Uuuh… sure.” She follows me into the cave and stands next to the switch with the logs.
“Please say your-”
I interrupt the intercom. “Bill.”
“Please say your name.” The other intercom demands.
“Janelle.” she mumbles into the microphone.
“Trials complete.” the intercoms disappear into the walls.
“Pardon? Trials?” I peer over to Janelle.
A small pedestal erupts from the center of the room with two silver heart-shaped medals placed on top.
I take one and leave the other one for Janelle. “Thank you kindly. Good bye.” I salute her and begin to leave the cave.
“Hey! Hold on!” Janelle grabs my arm. “Shouldn’t we stick together? What if a bear or an alien attacks us?”
“Then that’s your problem.” I free myself from her grasp and resume walking away. “Please don’t take it personally. I just work better alone.”
Vivian
“And that’s why it was called the Horrible Lasagna Catastrophe. Pretty wild, huh?”
Yuko glances at me with the stare my teachers used to give me before nodding. “Yeah. Pretty, pretty, pretty wild.”
We make it back to where the jungle meets the beach. My face can’t help but smile when I hear the waves crash against the shore. Tall, Dark, and Handsome is sitting on a rock under a tree tossing a baseball up and down.
“Hey there, buddy.” I pat him on the shoulder. “What’re you doing here?”
“Hm?” He puts the baseball down and begins taking out a box of cigarettes. “Oh, I’m just enjoying the view right now; making sure no one steps on the beach. Don’t mind me.” He puts a cig in his mouth and offers us some. “Want one?”
“No thanks… I don’t smoke.”
“Gimme.” Yuko snatches two cigs and puts one in her mouth and one in her shirt. She then leans forward and points to her cig.
The man glances at me and puts his cigarette back in his box. “Ah, forgive me.” He smiles and puts the box back in his shirt pocket.
“Ahem.” Yuko points to her cigarette.
“You can light it yourself. You’re a big girl.” the man shrugs.
Yuko groans and begins looking through her pockets and shirt for anything that can light up her cig.
“Who’re you anyway?” I sit down next to the man. “Did you already complete your mission?”
“My name is Joshua Dominguez. My mission is to make sure no one dies.”
“What? Are you our chaperone or something?” Yuko began striking her cigarette against the rock.
“Nope. My hint is ‘If anyone dies, you lose. Good luck.’”
“Huh. Weird.” I stare out into the beach. “Ours were all poetic and cryptic. Anyway, why can’t people go onto the beach?”
“This.” Josh tosses his baseball onto the beach. Upon hitting the sand, the ground under it explodes. Sand and shrapnel are blown every direction as a deafening BOOM echoes throughout the island. Josh raises his hand and a singed, but still perfectly usable baseball comes zooming back into his grip.
“Oh. Huh.” I stare into the beach and nod. “Yuko, what’re we going to do about that?”
After grinding the first cigarette between her teeth to a pathetic little stub, Yuko gives up and stands back upright. “I have an idea. Both of you just shut up and cover your ears.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Josh covers his ears and lies back on the rock.
“Can I ask wh-”
“Vivian.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I cover my ears and shut my mouth.
Yuko shoves me aside, faces the beach, and clears her throat. “WRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.” Shockwaves shoot out from Yuko’s mouth. It’s like a thousand nails scratching against a thousand chalkboards set to the tempo of a thousand screaming children. My hair stands on end and my entire body feels ready to shatter at any moment. I have to try with all my might to not be blown back and curl up in a ball. One by one, mines under the beach explode. A cacophony of explosions and sand litter the beach. Not gonna lie. It looks pretty sweet. Kinda reminds me of my grandad’s WWII stories. Soon enough, Yuko stops and rubs her throat. “I’m certain that’s all of them on this side of the beach.” Yuko steps onto the beach.
“Nice.” Josh spins his baseball on his fingertip. “That’s pretty sweet.”
I uncover my ears and begin following her. “Hey, Yuko! Wait up! That’s such a cool Tech! What’s the range on it? Does it hurt to use? Can it move objects? How heavy are the objects it can move? When did you discover your Tech? How did you discover your Te-umpg!”
Yuko clamps my mouth shut with her hand. It’s so soft and smells nice. I want to lick it, but I feel like it would be bad for my health. “Vivian.” Yuko clenches her fingernails into my cheek. “One question at a time. Alright? Are you capable of doing that?”
I nod.
“I’m going to release your mouth and when I do, you’re going to take it down five decibels. Are we clear?”
I nod.
“Good.” Yuko releases my mouth and wipes her hand on her skirt. She begins looking through the sand for her item.
Well now I just feel embarrassed. I’ll save the questions for later. I begin sifting through the sand with Yuko.
About fifteen minutes pass and we still can’t find the damn thing. Some people; including the Cowboy, have come out of the jungle. Probably to see why the beach had just exploded.
“This is so annoying…” Yuko takes out her second cig and begins munching on it. “I’m going to get all dry and there’s sand everywhere and-”
Beside some shrapnel, I found the treasure. It’s a small gold medal in the shape of a cartoon bomb. “Found it.” I picked it up and presented it to Yuko.
“Oh.” Yuko looks at me, then the medal, then back to me. “Thanks.” She takes the medal and pins it to her skirt.
“No problemo. That’s what friends do.”
“Haha… yeah…”
“So… what do we do now? Just… wait here until my treasure shows u-”
The very earth interrupts me. The ground begins to quake. The trees and sand begin to sift and quiver. The sea before us begins to part.
“For the love of-” Yuko yells at the ocean. “What now?!”
A mountainous metal monstrosity rises from the depths of the ocean. It has legs as wide as houses and as tall as radio towers. An abdomen as thick as a nuclear fallout bunker and as shiny as a pair of anime titties. Metal shards the size of cars stick out of its back and run down all the way to the tip of its tail. Arms as awkward and pathetic as my first middle school dance. Teeth as sharp and crooked as my middle school mouth. Bright eyes that beam with a menacing aura that make my legs quiver, and not in a good way. A giant metal, legally distinct trex rises before us. “GROOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!” It’s roar tears through the sky and blows all of us backwards.
“Ooooooh.” I laugh as my ass hits the sand. “King of Tyrants. Tyrannosaurus Rex. Rex means king in Latin. Aaaw man, I’m an idiot. Aaah this is gonna be fun.”
A.D.
I pet Angela on the head for cheering me on during the fight. “Alright! Where are we goi-”
“GROOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!” the sound of metal clashing against metal violates the air.
Eyes widen. Blood pumps. Fighting spirit rises. “Angela! I dunno what that is, but I gotta fight that!”
“Can you carry me?” Angela puts her DS away in her backpack. “My feet hurt.”
“You got it!” I carry Angela on my back and sprint full force at my future opponent. This will be such good training, dude. Oh my god. I wanna know who the final boss is aaaaaaand it's a giant metal T-rex. HELL YEAH! Angela and I look at it. She looks about as excited as I am.
“Oh my god!” Angela shakes my shoulder. “I can finally do something here! AD, throw me at the T-rex!”
“But I don’t have enough meter to throw you that far.”
“Negh!” Angela bonks my head. “How about now?”
“Okay, now I have enough meter! Get ready!” I pluck Angela off my back, grab her tiny ankles, and begin spinning her around and around. “Super! Spinning! Hurricane!” I let go and propel her through the air towards the T-rex. “Go get 'em! Body that boy!”
“YEEEEEEEEEAH!” Angela cheers. Upon colliding with the T-rex, she transforms into electricity, and enters the beast’s hull.
Will
“GROOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!”
“What in the name of-?” I make my way towards the source of the roar. Somebody has to deal with it of course. I get there and find a giant, mechanical T-rex standing off the beach. I run my blade against my fingertips. “Stand back everyone, I got this.” This’ll be easy. Just one quick slice and this will be over. I wonder how I should greet the headmaster. She’s probably watching right now and preparing some fancy award just for me. I run towards the beast and strike at its leg. My sword breaks in half immediately. There is not a dent or even so much as a scratch against the blasted thing. I rub my hands against each other and proceed to punch at the tyrant’s leg. Nothing. Nothing but bruised knuckles. I decide to retreat. “Nevermind! Everybody retreat!” My boots fill with sand and sea water as I hurry back into the jungle. “Regroup and I’ll come up with a plan!”
“Ssssssssffffft…” The T-rex throws its head backward before leaning forward and spewing a house-sized fireball right at me. It’s… too big to dodge our cut. I fall to my knees and begin praying the Our Father. I’m so sorry everyone… Dad… I’m sorry… I wasn’t strong enough… I-I I’m scared… Tears roll down my face. I really hope heaven is real.
Janelle runs up in front of the blast and catches it in her hands. She’s pushed backwards, but maintains her stance with only mild discomfort. She melds, bends, and condenses the fire into a petite ball the size of her palm. “You’re welcome.” Janelle looks at me then proceeds to pop the fireball into her mouth as if it were a piece of popcorn. After doing so, she tosses off her coat and mittens and stays right by my side ready to catch another fireball. I will never live this down. Just give me a ceremonial dagger and let me get this over with already…
Vivian
Yuko begins to run away, but I catch her arm right as she turns her back. “Yuko. Hear me out. I have a plan.”
“I don’t want any part of it! We almost got incinerated!”
“You do know the test isn’t over until everyone gets their treasure, right?”
Yuko exhales and rubs her temple. “Very well… what’s your plan?”
“Lie down.”
I see Yuko grit her teeth and lie down on the sand. “Okay, now what?”
I spread my legs, walk over her, and position myself between her head and the T-rex. “Okay, just bend your neck a little forward and yell. Your voice will propel me up into the T-rex’s mouth.”
“What?! That’s insane! I’m not accurate enough for that!”
“Do you want this over with or not?”
“I do!”
“Then shoot me up!”
“I’m not going to do that! That’s stupid!”
“Aaaaaaaw. What is it, Yuko-chan? Do you care about me?”
“WRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.” Without a moment of hesitation, Yuko yells and propels me upward at the T-rex with her voice.
I cover my ears as I feel myself get shot up and up and up into the T-rex’s gaping maw. Being propelled by a sonic voice feels like being propelled by air, but with more vibration. And it smells like whatever Yuko had for breakfast. I reach the open mouth and do a cool-guy roll onto the tongue. The mouth alone is double the size of my bedroom. At the back of the mouth is a sealed-off entrance about three inches tall, three inches wide, and has a bunch of funnels surrounding it.
“The hell’s this for?” I approach the back of the mouth.
The funnels all focus towards the outer edge of the mouth. I see fire begin to gather around the tips of the nozzles and feel the temperature of the mouth begin to rise at an uncomfortable rate. “Nononono!” I begin to run only to see sparks fly around the perimeter of the mouth.
“Flamethrower deactivated.” a robotic tone declares. “Mouth hatch opened.”
“What?” I turn to the back of the mouth and see that the hatch had indeed been opened. As I approach the back of the mouth once more, I see a burst of electricity shoot from one of the funnels and form into the gremlin girl on the plane. “Uuuh… did you do that?” I point to the door.
“Yeah…” she catches her breath.
“Thank you.” I offer my hand to her. “Vivian.”
“Angela.” She takes my hand and helps herself up. “What’re we doing about that door though?”
“Why are you asking me? Can’t you just zap yourself into it or something?”
“Believe me, I tried. Whatever’s inside there is coated in a thick sheet of wood that separates it from metal. I can’t materialize inside there.
“I see…” I smile and put my hand on her shoulder. “Tell me, do you like giants?”
“Like… aesthetically or are we talking about macrophilia here?”
“I’m going to leave that up to you.” I proceed to shrink myself to be two inches tall.
Angela grows ten feet tall and nearly grows out of her clothes. She looks down at herself and starts to have waaaay too much fun. “I’m so big… so… so big…” she bites her lip and begins running her hands along her new body.
I turn my back to her and sprint off into the hatch door. Inside the door looks like a wall if you stripped down all the drywall. Simple. Featureless save for the two silver smiley face medals lying on the floor. Despite my puny size, they are small enough to fit in the palm of my hand. How do you even make medals this small…? Whatever. Time to go. I exit the hole, touch Angela, and revert ourselves to our proper sizes. I even shave a little bit off the T-rex to grow the medals to a proper size for us. “Here ya go.” I hand a medal to Angela.
“Oh… Thank you…” Angela looks dissatisfied after returning to her normal height. “I’ll get going. Meet you downstairs.” she digitizes herself and melts into the T-rex's tongue.
I leap out of the T-rex and yell at Yuko. “Yuko! Hey! Hey Yuko!”
Fortunately, Yuko is still lying on her back. “Vivian?! What the hell are you doing?!”
“Catch me!” I spread out my arms and legs to slow my descent.
“What?! How?!”
“With your voice, you idiot!”
“You’re the id- WWWWWRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY.” Yuko begins screeching once more. Her voice slows my descent to a glacial crawl. The closer I get to the beach, the softer her screech becomes. Though the further I descend, the more red her face grows. “Easy… Easy… Just lay me down geeentl-” Yuko’s voice gives out when I’m just above her and causes me to collapse onto her like a sack of potatoes.
“Gack!” Yuko recoils. “Aaah… Ooow…”
Fortunately for me, my face lands on her chest. Perfect.
“Vivian…” Yuko groans.
“Yes, Yuko?” I look up from her cleavage.
“You have three seconds before I shoot you back into that machine.”
“Right. Sorry.” I get off Yuko and help her up.
I see Angela shoot out of the T-rex’s foot and land safely next to karate man and Joshua.
“Is everyone alright?” Joshua comes running up to everyone.
“Yeup.” I flashed him my medal. “Even got my treasure too.”
“Excellent.” He pulls out his phone. “I’ll contact the headmaster to pick us up. Everyone wait here.”
I look up at the T-rex. “Hey, Josh. Can I borrow your baseball for a sec?”
“Yeah, sure.” He tosses me his ball and begins talking to the headmaster.
I catch the ball, walk over to the T-rex, and begin shrinking the T-rex until it fits into my palm. Granted, there was now an eighty-foot wide baseball sailing out into the ocean, but whatever. I stuff the t-rex into my pocket and wait for the headmaster to arrive with the rest of my class. Everyone seems to be in good spirits aside from a few bruises and burns here and there, but nothing too serious. Except for Will. He’s staring out into the ocean utterly motionless. Angela and A.D. try poking and jostling him, but he doesn’t move an inch.