Yuko

September 29th, 2007. 10:21 a.m. Dorm room. Yaaaaawn. Wake up in my bed. I’m… unusually refreshed. No one woke me up in the middle of the night. No weird noises in the early morning. No doors were opened or closed. I slept damn good. I open my phone and find a text from Viv. “Left early for the volunteer event. See ya late tonight. <3” Will’s still in San Diego. A.D. hasn’t been home for a while… I’m all alone. Hell yes. Let’s do this. I can take as long as I need to in the shower and no one can stop me. Wait. Dumbass. Why shower? We’re in bath city today. Gonna get all my soaps and have a bitchin’ time. Hmm hm hm hmm hm hm. The water takes five minutes just to get warm… Damnit. Janelle’s not here either. Whatev’s. I can wait. Not like anyone’s gonna rush me.

Got the bathtub nice and full of the good bubbles and swooce right in. Awww hell yeah… I’ve been missin this. Aw crap… I forgot to bring some cereal. I get out and walk around the dorm naked because I can. Get a jug of milk, a bowl, and a box of cereal, and bring it back to the tub and start eating. This is the life. Ain’t nothing can surpass the sheer decadence of eating processed corn in a stained bathtub… My bar for quality really has gone to crap. Regardless, I can finally practice singing without anyone barging in. Let’s see… where the crap did I start…

Under the sky so blue

I wouldn’t know what to do

Without you

Under the sky so true...

I dunno where to go next… Least it sounds good. I think. Can’t tell if I wanna make this a refrain or the first verse now. I’m sure it’ll sound better accompanied with some electric guitar, a lone violin, and an even lonelier sounding acoustic guitar. Some cereal chunks fell outta my mouth while I was singing and are now floating in the water. I can still save them before they get soggy.

gulp

Okay. Horrible idea. Now my mouth tastes like soap. Blegh.

I spend a good while soaking and damn near fell asleep again. I never thought this dorm would be this quiet… It’s nice. I get all dried up and continue to sing to my heart’s content. Still can’t come up with a good second verse. It doesn’t need a consistent rhyme scheme… but it’d be pretty sick if I could pull that crap off.

Getting dressed now and my bra refuses to fit. Did… Did Vivian… No… she couldn’t have… When would she have? Oh god, when would she have? Screw it. Going braless today. Not like anyone’s here to bitch about it.

I stare out at the empty den with my hands on my hips and marvel at how… clean it is. No sweat stains from A.D. on the carpet. No loud praying from Will. No Angela and Vivian arguing about the canon cup sizes of fictional characters. Just. Quiet.

Time to play some KH2.

1:30 p.m. I can’t beat Scar. This fight sucks. I can’t block. He tracks my every motion erratically. Screw this. I’ll just have Viv do it for me. I turn off the console and lie back on the floor. Can’t help but look at my phone. Don’t do it. If they wanted to talk, they would’ve called. But… I mean they could just be busy. Couldn’t hurt…

Calling Mom

“Hello.” Mom’s voice rings from the other end.

“Hey, mom. Uh… yeah. Just calling to-”

“This is Naomi Kaneko. Unfortunately, I am unable to take your call right now. Please leave your name and number and I will get back to you as soon as I can. Have a good day.”

Beep

“Uh… Hey… mom. I just called to…”

click

Never mind.

I need a drink, so I open the fridge. Nothing but some pre-packaged sausages, a big chunk of steak in the freezer, some oj, and a half-empty bottle of vodka. Snag the vodka, unscrew it, and take a deep whiff. Aaaaaw yeah… the burn… It stings, but in a good way, ya know?

glug glug glug glug glug glug

Heh… All gone. urp. If I’m not out in ten minutes, I’m going to be hella pissed.

Ten minutes later

Okay. That backfired super hard. I’m still conscious, but I really wish I wasn’t. Stomach hurts. Cramps everywhere. World’s spinning like a bitch. Goddamnit… I’m so… bored… There’s no good missions to do either… and no way in hell am I studying... Hold up. Maybe I can buy something cool. I open my wallet and find $20 left. Oh… right… shouldn’t have gone ballistic last weekend. I deserve more pay. I should just go out and do whatever the hell A.D.’s getting himself into… hurp… A-actually… I should just wait till this nausea gets over with… Goddamnit.

6:00 p.m.

After a series of awful dates with the toilet and a nap that was waaay too short, I finally start to feel better. Screw this. I’m texting everyone. Idgaf.

Yo Viv. When you coming home? Pick me up something on the way back. Ill pay u back. Promise

No response.

Ey. Joshyboy. Whaddup? How’s San Diego again? Did that Faust bitch do you in or something?

Still no response.

A.D. soooooo you got something you wanna tell us? I promise I wont tell anyone.

You guessed it. No response.

Billyboy. Can I cook that steak in the fridge??? Or were you gonna keep that to yourself? Sharing is caring. Wouldnt the J man share the steak?

No reply.

Angela. How do I beat Scar? Do I just spam Limit? Help. Pls.

No one wants to respond. I’m used to it, but it still hurts.

This sucks. I can’t even write like this. I can’t sing while I’m like this either… I’m just going to listen to MCR for a while and try not to think.

Something finally takes mercy on me and lets me konk out. Finally. When I wake up, it’s dark out and I’m hugging a pillow. I sigh, make my bed, and start cleaning anything I can. Bed’s nice and organized. Floor of my room is vacuumed. Bathroom sink and counter are disinfected and scrubbed. Mirrors are washed. Hair is removed from the shower drain. Damnit. I wish the boys would pick- Okay, nevermind this is my hair… Oops. Shower bottles are organized. Empty shampoo bottles are discarded into the trash. Trash can is promptly emptied. There’s a lot of tissues. A lot of tissues. And no, no one here’s had a cold yet. Kitchen counter’s washed. Den is vacuumed and dusted. Only thing left to do is clean the boy’s room and Viv’s bed. No way in hell am I going into the boy’s room. I’ll try fixing Viv’s bed. Get the blankets all nice and organized. Gonna rearrange and fluff the pillows. I feel something moist under her pillow... Time to wash my hands and never clean anything for anyone ever again.

While washing my hands, I hear the front door open. Vivian comes in with a bag of fast food and a paper plate covered in tin foil.

“Viv!” I flick the water off my hands and immediately run over and hug her. “Viv! How are you?! What took you so long?”

“Yuko!” She flinches, but thankfully doesn’t drop anything. “Uh… I’m good. You didn’t tell me what to get you, so I just got you some chicken nuggets and a piece of leftover chocolate cake from the event. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Mind? Dude, I will never turn down chicken nuggets.” I let go over her, swipe the bag, and immediately begin devouring the bland, crispy nuggets. “Is that cake for me?”

“You know it.” Viv begins unwrapping the plate on the kitchen counter and reveals a pitifully small piece of chocolate cake. It barely looks thicker than a dollar bill. “Hope you like chocolate.”

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“I am a slut for chocolate, but isn’t that slice a bit… thin?”

“Bruh.” Viv touches the cake and my nugget bag. The slice grows nice and thick while the bag shrinks to half the size of my palm.

“Oh. Yeah.”

“C’mon dude.” Viv chuckles.

“Thank you so much.” I nearly choke on a nugget, but that doesn’t even slow down my feast. “How was the event?”

“It was nice.” Viv shrugs. “Just collected and helped feed a bunch of people. Helped them get groomed up and make resumes too.” She nods and smiles. “It was nice. Felt like I was actually helping.”

“Is that all? C’mon. There’s gotta be something cool that happened.”

“No. It was nice and simple. Nothing much to report. What about you?”

“Scar’s an asshole.”

“Ohohoho!” Viv pulls up a chair and leans forward with her chin in her hands. “Do tell.” she flashes this dumb, adorable smile at me.

A.D.

September 30th, 2007. 2:11 a.m. Managed to sneak in and use the local library’s computer after hours. Let’s see here… I put up a new email and Myspace page regarding my services. People have been super positive towards me. I’m kinda shocked how quick they believed that I was the karate man reported on tv. Let’s review my introduction… “Greetings to the beaten, downtrodden, and the damned. The world is full of many ugly things. Society is plagued by evil. The governments crippled by corruption. Where all may seem lost, justice can still prevail. Justice comes not from the state or from god. Justice can only come from people. If you have been a victim of injustice or your pleas have been ignored by the authorities, please contact me. I shall protect each and every one of you." Everything looks good. I should be able to help a lot more people this way.

Click

The library’s lights turn on and my corneas tense up. My head turns to face the light switch and I see a tall figure in tattered jeans and a long black hoodie. He’s brandishing a crowbar and has a bunch of chip bags tied to his belt. I can’t see anything inside his hood despite the light. “Well, well, well. Shotoman. Fancy meeting you here.”

“How did you find me?”

“Not a lot of people wear karate gis at two in the morning.”

“Fair point… but,” I get out of my seat and smile. “I have a fan already?!” I look back towards the screen. “You aren’t following any of my pages. Do you need a link? Do you not have social media?”

“I do not concern myself with such trivial matters.” Crowbar man points his crowbar at me. “I am here for you.”

“Can I at least have a name? I think it’s only fair to introduce yourself.”

“I am the light in the darkness. I am the darkness in the light.” He begins posing and licking his crowbar like it's an oversized lollipop. “I am the benevolent storm. Humanity’s anger at the establishment made manifest.” he points at me and a crow shoots out of his hood.

I duck out of the way and the poor crow collides with the bookshelf behind me.

“I am… Murder.” He strikes a dramatic pose once more. “The most anti of all anti-heroes.”

“Outstanding.” I shoot him a thumbs up. “I guess I’m kind of an anti-hero too. Want to team up? I’m sure we could help a lot of people together.”

“Fool! I have no interest in teaming up with the likes of you. I am here to tell you to back off of my territory.”

“Eh?”

“The place where you beat up those pigs? That’s my turf. Anything happening in there answers to me.”

“Then where were you that night?”

“I was attending more pressing matters!” He points his crowbar at me again. “I’m telling you, back off my jurisdiction, otherwise things are gonna get crazy up in here.”

“Wait… I don’t get it. Why do you care about jurisdiction? The whole point of being an anti-hero is to not care about jurisdiction or rules. It’s about doing what you think is right regardless of the law or what others think!”

“It is, but I gotta get paid. I spent a looong time getting recognized in that part of the city. I don’t need some karate kid wanna-be stealing my rewards and recognition. Back. Off. Go be a hero in some other part of the neighborhood.”

“Can’t do that.” I shake my head. “A hero cannot be bound by borders or turf. A true hero does what is right no matter what.” I stretch my neck and crack my fingers. “You have no right calling yourself a hero. There could be someone in your neighborhood getting attacked or someone who could really use groceries delivered right now, and you care more about your bottom line?”

“Hey, kid. I gotta eat too. Get lost. Never show your face round here again.”

“No. We can team up though. I would love to work with you.”

“Stupid kids never learn… So be it. Prepare to get... murdered.” Murder points his crowbar at me before bursting into a - murder - of crows. Ooooh… now I get it… His clothes lie on the floor and crow after crow after crow begins to divebomb me. I perfectly parry each and every one of them. Only annoying thing is they have small hurtboxes… but I should be able to fend them off just fi-

G-gack…

Three sharp pains pierce my gi and plunge into my back. It’s the beaks. I-I can feel them digging around near my spine. This isn’t good… I can only block in one direction, and they’re coming in from everywhere! I pluck the little bastards out of my back and begin running out of the library. I break through the locked door and begin running down a hallway. The security alarms start blaring, but that’s okay. I made sure to log out of my account beforehand.

I book it down the street as fast as I can, but it’s no use… each second, more and more crows begin to peck at me. I can’t outrun them. They’re aiming for my eyes, my ankles, my back… The best I can do is weave side to side to avoid getting dive bombed again. Their caws are so annoying… I feel like I’m going mad just listening to them. This cannot continue. I can’t fight them… I can’t run forever either.

Murder’s voice rings from the crow’s beaks. “You should have listened. All you had to do was listen.”

Screw this. I have to fight. Even if they’re Tech-related crows, they’re still just crows. They can’t be that strong. I take a deep breath and pivot around. I can only block from one side at a time… so I’ll constantly change the side I’m facing! I spin and spin, punching, weaving, and kicking every last corvid I can see. One by one, the crows begin to fall. Some have broken wings. Some are punched right through. No matter what happens, they just keep coming and coming and coming. There’s no end to them! I’m standing next to a knee high pile of injured crows, but they keep dive bombing me… Oh now… this is bad… I’m getting dizzy… but I have a full bar. Let’s do this! Super Tatsumaki Overdriiiiive!

Wind envelopes my legs and I spin around high into the air. Must’ve comboed at least 24 more birds. I land back on my feet amidst two piles of twitching crow bodies.

I’m out of breath. Blood rolls down my back. My legs hurt like hell… My arms are going to be sore tomorrow. “Hey, Murder… Let’s just call it peace? I don’t want to hurt any more birds.”

“Fool.” A crow in the pile locks eyes with me. Its bent wings snap back into place. Its demolished spine repairs itself. “You had your chance. People do not deserve second chances.” One by one, more crows begin to heal themselves and resume their flight. I continue to book it down the street because I have no other options. Turn a corner. Keep running. There’s a Jack in the Box open. I book it towards there and hold the door shut behind me.

“Hey… uh…” The cashier looks at me. “Are you okay man? You’re not on the drugs are you?”

“No. Thank you for asking.” I shoot him a thumbs-up. “Though if you have any bandages or first aid kits, I’d appreciate them!”

“Are you going to buy something?”

“Yes! Four tacos, no cheese!”

“You got it. I’ll get the first aid kit right away.” The cashier hurries to the back of the house.

It doesn’t take long for the crows to arrive at the glass door and stare at me. They line up in a neat, orderly fashion against the door and begin pecking at it. Cracks and chips quickly begin to form in the glass. Great. Just… great. Wait… One of the crows has a little hoodie on. Is that the original crow? If that one is controlling all the others, maybe I just need to take that one down… But what can I do? I can’t let them in. The employees might get hurt. There’s no real place for me to run. I only have one pip of meter too. Damnit damnit damnit! What do I do?! What can I do?

Tik tik tik tik tik CLANK

The birds drill a small crow-sized hole for them to flood in. The birds are pouring in. I… I can’t help it… I have to use the forbidden strategy.

“Hey… uuh do you want any drinks?'' The cashier comes back with a first aid kit and a plate of soggy tacos.

“Put that on hold!” I throw my hands behind me and begin chucking fireball after fireball into the hole in the door. No matter how many crows pour in through the hole, they hit the fireball head-on and get extra crispy.

“Hey!” the bird in the hoodie cries out from beyond the door. “Cut that out! Quit fighting like a cheap bitch!”

“Learn how to play around it!” I yell back still spamming fireball after fireball. No matter how many crows get hit, they still insist on going through the hole. They could make more holes, but no. They insist on doing this.

“Stop! That’s not fair at all!” Murder stares out at the piles of his crispy comrades.

“Says the dude with the non-existent hurtboxes!”

“How dare you!” Murder divebombs me through the hole in the door, but I backhand him and he smacks against the wall and slides down onto the sticky, stained floor.

“What’re you gonna do huh?” Murder looks at me with withered eyes. “Kill me?”

“No.” I shake my head. “Heroes don’t kill people. Even if those people are birds sometimes. Now flock off. Go save some people or shut up.”

“I’m just going to have my revenge if you let me go, you know… I’m not going to stop protecting my turf.”

“There’s a chance you could change.” I offer my hand to him. “Plus, I’m sure the people you saved would be sad to see you gone.”

“Don’t patronize me…” Murder turns his head then begins hopping towards the door. “Don’t get in my way either…” He hops out the door and into the parking lot, leaving the restaurant covered in crow feathers, bird poo, and broken glass.

“So… uh…” The cashier rubs her temple. “You better help me clean this up.”

“Of course.” I nod. “I’ll get the glass and bird poo.”

“That’s fair.” We spend the next forty minutes cleaning the lobby. After that, I eat some early breakfast, help guide some drunken people home, buy some food and blankets for some vagrants, paint over some hateful graffiti, then head back to Aegis.