We hit the ground and rolled through desks and filing cabinets. Abruptly, the items in our way just stopped. Above us floated half finished cubicles, potted plants sitting on nothing, and half a poster of a cat’s paw griping a rope that just said, 'Hang'.
“Are we alive?” asked Argyle.
“Is he gone?” Kara picked herself up from the flat.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” We could see Fez’s large form through a gigantic hole in the wall. He drifted slowly down the street, purple fireball at the ready. What he did not do is notice the three of us watching him.
“It's like the cart," whispered Argyle.
“Cart?” asked Kara, her eyebrows knitting together.
“You see, there was this cart blocking the road and Argyle walked through it.... You know what, we don't have time for the whole story. The wall is there for him, but not for us,” I summed up.
“What do we do now?” asked Kara.
“How can we defeat that thing?” asked Argyle.
“We don't." They both looked at me with confusion. “The game wants us to fight him. It's designed to do whatever it takes to keep us engaged. As long as we keep falling for its tricks, we're just gonna be stuck in a never ending cycle of fighting and crafting and watching ads.” I looked deeper into the building. Into the gray void further beyond. “We’re not going to be able to escape with the tools the game picked out for us. We have to find the flaws in the system. We have to find the places where it's not bombarding us with information. If it doesn't have content to show us, then we have power.”
“What do you mean?” asked Argyle.
“Don't you feel it? It's like a cool breeze on a summer day in your mind. Like there's nothing for your mind to do here, so it finally gets a chance to rest.”
“I finally understand what the old man was talking about,” Said Kara.
“Okay, but that still doesn't answer my question,” Argyle grumbled.
“The VR system stimulates our brain into creating this simulated world, like dreaming. The more information it gives us, the more detailed and solid the dream. The more it feels real, and the more it traps our brain in the information. Here, we have more control. This is how we escaped Endless Adventure Online. I pulled us out of the tavern during the sausage ad. Actually, it's how I got into Endless Adventure Online in the first place; I was leaving a hotel ad.”
“But we’re not in an ad. Can we still escape even if it’s not an ad?”
“Can this space take us back to Endless Adventure Online? Can I get back to helping my sister?”
“Maybe? I don't know. I think we're gonna have to explore.”
“Wait a sec bro; if it's like lucid dreaming here, then we should have some control, right? What happens if we try and craft things? Like, could we use the space to create amazing items to sell when we do get back?”
“Only you could think about crafting at a time like this, my friend. We might as well give it a try.” Even as I said it, I realized I was getting distracted again. “But, we should focus. Right now, we have the opportunity to explore this void. If it all works out, we'll have our way back to Endless Adventure Online. Heck, maybe we will even find a way out of this place.”
“Yeah, but if we do, we won't be in the void anymore. I may never get this opportunity again.”
“There was a similar void at the top of the bakery. The room up there was only half finished.”
“Yeah, but was it this...” He gestured towards the long, gray expanse, stretching out ahead of us, “empty?”
“No, you have a point. Okay, we’ll make one thing, so you’d better make it count.”
“It works better when we work together," said Argyle. He pulled out some gold wire he had looted from the hag's house and a spirit essence core. “Kara do you have any crafting Skills?”
“No. This game doesn't really do crafting. The only non-action Skill I have is Hacking.”
“Well, if we're just thinking completely outside the box here, why don't Finch and I try and make a circlet or something, and you put one of those little devices you use for hacking on it. While we work, you try and hack the process to make it better.”
“That's not how hacking works. I need to interface with a computer system.”
“But we're in the computer system bro… or do you prefer bro-det?”
“This is about the dumbest idea I've ever heard, but if you think it's worth trying...”
I put my hand on Kara’s shoulder and looked her in the eye. “Don't just try; believe it. Imagine it working and know that it will. Focus. You can do it.”
With that, we got to work. Almost immediately, I realized that the process was going much faster than it normally would. All I had to do was imagine it taking shape and it did.
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Kara, for her part, started off looking bored and annoyed, until all of a sudden, she sat up straight and mumbled, “What the heck? It's working. Like, I can see the properties you guys are putting into the hat and adjust them. This just makes no sense. Dammit, I lost it.”
“Don't focus on how it doesn't make sense. Imagine it working; make it make sense to you,” I said helpfully.
“Okay, let's try this again.” She scrunched up her face like she was concentrating hard. "It's working! I can adjust the properties. Looks like we have the option for Stat boosts, defensive Skills, or Element Resistance.”
“Look at its other Stats. See if you can increase its value. If we could make a 1 million dollar hat, then we could save my sister out right.”
“It's working. I don't know how it's working, but it's working. I’m increasing the value as much as it will go.”
The item crafting bar completed and we all received a prompt.
“Crafting successful: Legendary success. You have created the immaculate crown. This item has no Stats, and is purely decorative. Item value: 1,000,000 Gold.”
“This is it!” he yelled, jumping up and down. "You guys, we did it!” Then he leapt at us, wrapping his arms around my back and her waist. Tears were streaming down his beard. “Thank you guys.”
We stayed there for a long moment with Argyle sniffling between us. It was a bit like comforting a child. His arms couldn't quite get up far enough and his face settled on my shoulder. “It's all right man. We've got everything we need. Now, all we need to do is get out of here.”
“How do we do that?”
“We can try walking deeper into the void?”
I suppose the difference between the building and the advertisements is that eventually buildings end. Once we had gotten halfway through the massive space of the building, we realized that in the far distance, we could see another set of cubicles.
“Damn!” I picked up a potted plant from where it hung in mid air, and threw it deep into the gray space. It smashed, creating a brown and green smudge in the middle of the colorless monotony. “I guess we're not getting out this way.”
“How much do you wanna bet your fairy is still out there, waiting for us?”
“So, the first two times you changed virtual environments, you were escaping an advertisement, right?” asked Kara.
“Yeah.”
“Why don't we use that? He's just going to attack us with advertisements anyway. Why not just use that to escape?”
I had to take a moment to really think about that. At first it sounded like a brilliant plan, but then I realized when I had been hit by the fireball, I was the only one pulled into the ad. “No good. When I brought Argyle here, I had to physically pick him up out of the room while in the ad. Those fireballs put each of us separately into our own virtual space. There's no guarantee we can travel together.”
“What then?”
Argyle snapped his fingers. “The ramen house. When we entered the front room we saw the ad together and didn’t get pulled away someplace else.”
“But that Roman houses on the other side of the city. We can't possibly make it that far with Fez chasing us down.”
“Why does it have to be a ramen house?” asked Kara. “Half the shops in the city play an ad when you walk in. If we all enter together, then, if it's the right kind of ad, we should all stay together.”
“Brilliant!” I said, “but remember, we're not going out there to fight. We're going out there to find a way out. We run for the nearest shop and we stick together.”
Argyle held up one of his guns and a fire essence gem. “Are you sure I can't just, you know... With Kara’s help, we can make a pretty epic blaster.”
“No, we're not here to fight. Let's run and let's get out of here.”
Reluctantly, Argyle agreed and we went back to the window we had originally crashed through. The game was already repairing it, but there was still enough space for us to squeeze the glider through. “All right, we stick together and move as fast as we can. Lets go!”
We launched ourselves out over the street. The glider was much easier to maneuver without a maniacal fairy throwing glittery fireballs at us. We started to take it in a controlled descent down.
“Not so fast buddy! You've got a few hundred more ads to watch before I can let you go.”
“He found us!” yelled Kara.
“Duck!” I yelled. Another purple glittery fireball flew past, inches above our heads. We bent to the left and avoided another blast, but our luck didn't hold out for long.
I could feel the heat of the fireball cascade around the glider above us. The street around us disappeared and I found myself standing in a concert venue. I recognized this ad. It was from some social media platform. The enthusiastic teen announcer was explaining how the interface used your own eyes as cameras to live. Cast your concert-going experience.
When I came to, we were spiraling down. I had to pull up hard on the glider to avoid us smashing into an oncoming truck. My companions were still dazed and off in their own realities while we were only inches above eight lanes of speeding traffic, and if we couldn't get out of there, we would be smashed like bugs on those windshields.
Our upward angle was killing our momentum fast. I banked hard toward the nearest sidewalk, but it was hard to say if we would make it.
Another blast hit me and I found myself face-to-face with a dirty litter box. I bellowed in impotent rage at the cats all around me. I didn't know if we would make it. Were my friends and I being crushed at this very moment? I felt a hard impact somewhere far away, but the announcer just kept on droning on about ultra-sonic odor-fighting technology and auto lasers to keep your cats entertained.
When the ad ended, I couldn't tell where I was. I was completely wrapped up in the blue fabric from the hang glider. In the corner of my vision, my Notoriety had spiked to 100. I threw aside the canvas cover to hear the clatter of thousands of sunglasses hitting the pavement. We had crashed right into a street vendor selling novelty shades and hats. Kara was already on her feet and helped me and Argyle up.
“Over there! There's a flower shop." She pointed and we took off running.
“We all need to enter together!” I yelled. We paused for the briefest moment. Behind us, a wall of purple glitter the size of a semi truck flew towards us. As one, we dove for the door.
The bell above the door tinkled and I felt a familiar shifting of reality.
Just at the edge of perception, romantic music started swelling. A waft of roses hit my nostrils. Outside, I heard the sound of a couple of fighting.
My attention shifted to the door behind us and a young man came through it without seeming to push past us. He was at the counter, tears in his eyes. He looked up at the cashier. “I forgot my anniversary.”
A man who looks like a kind old grandfather in a green smock put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s all right. At quick-flowers.com, we've got you covered.”
“Quick-flowers.com?”
“That’s right, Quick-flowers.com. We have it ready for you. Roses, tulips, daisies. We've got them all. Perfect to turn your anniversary disaster into pure romance.”
Somehow, in the edge of my perception, I could see the man and his girlfriend in a bedroom with him presenting a bouquet of roses. The couple embraced and sat down on the bed.
We hadn't been idle. From the moment the commercial started I had been scoping out the exits. Both my friends had become caught up in the action, unable to break themselves away, but I had been ready and prepared, with a hand on each of their shoulders.
“Mental Resistance check successful.”
I guided my two friends towards the back door. I passed the kind man extolling the virtues of a monthly flower arrangement subscription and their daily nosegay package and into a formless gray room beyond. The couple started laughing and kissing as I closed the door to the shop and pushed, walking into the void.