It took us a subjective week until Argyle bought his membership subscription. It was time for us to try again to complete my quest. This time would be different, though.

Whenever we crafted, we were creating gear. We created tiaras and circlets, some of which gave tangible benefits. Most only gave an armor bonus of two or three. Many of them were small bonuses; a +1 or +2 to your chance to hit or a small resistance to an element. Nothing stood out and maybe one in ten gave an improved success and just one in every hundred gave an excellent success.

But we had made four such successes.

Once we started taking material out of advertisements, we started getting better and better results. In addition to the gummies, we realized that we could take out cookies, strips of bacon, a sports jacket, marbles from a board game ad, and, best of all, ice cubes that never melted. What made the ice cubes particularly helpful was their size. The game couldn't help but see them as a large gym, and therefore superior crafting material. This added a significant boost to our crafting results, and, at the same time, a bit of a wild factor. Since the stats of the items were undefined, the game didn't quite know what types of enchantments they should create.

It would be tempting to sell everything we made. After all the higher successes were worth significantly more. However if we were going to succeed, we needed every advantage. We made sure to keep some of our best results, so I was not only equipped with a significantly higher defense, but also a +3 Strength ring that Argyle had made with a gummy. We figured it would not only improve my survivability, but also my chance to hit and potentially my damage.

The thing that really filled me with confidence, though, was a circlet that provided a one time use, one hit point per second, health re-generation. This was the single most expensive item that we had created, and I could see that it hurt Argyle to use it, but I knew that if I was going to survive, we would have to pull out all the stops.

Sure, I was still using my improvised stick without any Improvised Weapons Skill, but with luck the Stat boost would give me a nice enough improvement to actually be able to hit. That was the theory anyway, but we would test it out. Hopefully it would give me just the edge I needed.

Argyle, for his part, had chosen a lovely Ice Diamond Tiara with cupcake sprinkles for sequins, that gave him a boost to his Summoning Skill. To be honest, the frilly, twisted metal and giant square gem looked a little bit out of place on the gruff dwarf's face. It seemed more appropriate at a six year old's birthday party, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

We had done everything we could to prepare and yet we both took a long pause at the city gates, psyching ourselves up.

“We got this. It's not going to be like last time. You can do this Argyle. You are the Car-gyle.”

I wanted to laugh at his antics, but I was doing just as much to get myself psyched and ready. “Okay Finch. You know what to expect. Get in, get out. Be quick about it.”

“Let's do this.” Argyle raised his fist.

“Let's do this!” I agreed and we tapped fists and walked out of the city gates.

In just a few minutes we were staring out over the lush green valley full of death on a million hippity-hoppity feet.

“Last time to chance to back out,” I said, looking over at Argyle.

“No way man,” said Argyle. “We're bros now, and bros stick together.” With a tap on his drum and a bounce from foot to foot, his wombat spirit appeared. “Come on, bro. Let's do this.”

“Let's do this.”

We tapped fists again and stepped off the path. Immediately thousands of beady little bunny eyes fixated on us. Tiny sharp rodent teeth gnashed in fuzzy little heads. This was it. The die was cast. “Game on,” I heard Argyle saying.

“Game on” I agreed. Not the most inspired banter, I’ll grant you, but in times of stress it’s really hard to come up with quippy one-liners and it was really nice to feel like you’re in sync with someone. The simple back and forth did a lot to calm the raging storm of butterflies tying knots in my stomach.

The first wave was a trio of all white Jackalopes scampering straight at us, but we were ready for them. The wombat spirit knocked one of them straight out of the air as it leapt at us.

Argyle got the second with his oversized drumstick and I swung wildly for the third. I swung for all I was worth and, yes, I missed. My stick went wide and the arc of the swing didn't even cross the rabbit's path. It didn't matter though. Argyle brought his drum up to protect my face. The rounded ram horn of the White Rabbit bounced straight off with a resounding, “Bong!”

Already, more were gathering. The wombat spirit waded into a crowd of six of them, knocking the little fur-balls left and right with its paws as it yells it’s vicious, adorable war cry. It was taking hits, but with Argyle’s increased summoning ability the hits took less out of it’s Health bar.

The plan was working, but that didn't mean I was safe. A brown and black spotted Jackalope with mean elk antlers was coming at us from the side. It leapt towards me and I once again swung wide. It collided with the side of my ribs. Thankfully, it was only a glancing blow. I didn't even get a damage notification. I guess the improved Armor Class was really showing what it's worth.

The only problem was, with Argyle and his wombat occupied, I had no way of dispatching the beast. It crouched down, preparing to spring up at me. I knew I couldn't let it get off a shot. It was practically at my heels, so I had to swing. My club was a bit above my head after the fallow through from my last attack. As I thought of swinging down towards the rabbit that had landed on the grass in front of me.

My body, almost without conscious thought, fell into position. Both hands gripped the stick. I brought it down in a long wide arc. The knob at the end of my stick connected with the rabbit and launched it almost 50 yards down the valley.

“You hit Jackalope for 25 damage. You killed Jackalope.”

That was way more than two Strength worth of damage increase. Something was up. Just then, a fat gray rabbit tried to duck past the wombat to get to me. I squared my hips and swung down at it

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“You hit Jackalope for 32 damage.” Just like the last one, this one went flying, arcing far over the Silverberry bushes, landing at the other end of the valley. “You killed Jackalope.”

I didn't have time to think or question why I could all of a sudden actually hit them because another fluffy-tailed murder machine was bouncing over the wombat's head. It launched itself off of the wombat's back and straight towards me.

I swung high, trying to connect with it in the air and missed. It hit me square in the shoulder, taking two points off my Health. It landed nearby. I stepped forward and I once again tried to swing down to launch it across the field. It worked. 28 points and 100 yard drive down the valley.

It was then that I realized why it worked some of the time, but not the rest. I missed every swing when the target was in the air. When on the ground, however, I seemed to know just how to choke up on the stick. My hips rotated with the down swing, and followed through. I was golfing! I checked my Stats. That was it. The Golf Skill I learned when I walked into Fez’s shop. It was level 15.

That was why I could hit that Jackalope and launch them so far, as long as they were on the ground. It didn't matter that I didn't have a weapon Skill. I could still knock them into the next county. This changed everything.

Another Jackalope broke past Argyle’s defenses, scampering, low teeing itself up for me perfectly. I swung down and launched it. “Ahhhhh haaaa!!!!” I yelled. “Fore, you filthy animals!”

“Since when can you hit?” asked Argyle, shield bashing a group of lop-eared menaces with his drum.

“Since I learned how to golf,” I replied.

“I have no idea what that means, but keep doing it!”

Another one dashed along the ground, coming at an odd angle. I saw it and I was ready for it.

The knob at the end of my stick now seemed almost perfectly angled to create an improvised driver. I launched one rabbit and then another. One came at me from the air. I ducked and got yet another surprise “Dodge Skill acquired. You are level 1, Novice. You know the 5 Ds: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge.”

“Oh heck yes!” I yelled. I could dodge the ones that came at me from above and knock away the ones that came at me from below.

With me to watch his back, Argyle seemed to be doing a fine job of holding off the advance of fur-ocious mobs from one side, and his wombat spirit was defending against a whole crowd from the other. They were taking hits, but with the increased Armor Class and Summoning ability from his tiara, they were holding up a lot better than they had in our last fight.

We were pushing forward, but slowly. That's when I realized I didn't have to just sit in the middle and be defended. If I timed it right I could even take out a few of these tiny terrors.

The Wombat spirit was striking out at a group and I saw my moment. As he swung with one paw I ducked around his other side and swung at a creature trying to flank him. I managed to launch it away before it could get a hit. Just like that, I wasn't just a liability in this fight. I was an asset, ducking out and attacking quickly before ducking back behind the big beast. I could dodge incoming attacks and take out anything that broke my through our defenses.

We were being more careful this time around. We had intentionally decided to take it slower, to be more defensive, and it was paying off. Argyle and the wombat were still in the green when we made it to the Silverberry bushes. Not only that, but I was at full health. My circlet's regeneration was paying off big time.

The only trouble was, now that we were at the bushes, I would have to focus on harvesting rather than fighting.

Argyle and his summon took up position around me as I dropped my trusty stick into my inventory and started looking for berries. No luck on the first bush but the second one had two.

The third bush was another bust. At the fourth I had to jump out of the way to avoid a sneaking Jackalope, but I was able to quickly re-equip my stick and punted the menace into the next time zone.

It was working.

I glanced at my teammates. The wombats health was fine. Argyle's, on the other hand, was just beginning to dip into the yellow. I couldn't worry about him now. I had to focus on collecting, so I jumped for the next bush.

The waves of Jackalopes around us only seem to be getting thicker. The wombat spirit's health dipped into the yellow under a waive of six quick strikes. Argyle’s dipped further.

I was having luck collecting berries. I still had two more to go. A large, aggressive, big mother of a bunny barreled past Argyle’s defenses, nicking him and sending his health deep into the red. It ran straight towards me with an intensity of purpose. Thankfully, it was only the work of a moment to get my club into my hands. I swung and missed. It scored a deep gash down my side.

“You have been hit by Adult Jackalope for Fourteen damage.”

That one hurt. I definitely couldn't take more than one of those. It landed at my feet and I swung again, launching it far away.

“Look out for the big ones. They do more damage,” I said.

“How many more berries do you need?” asked Argyle.

“Just two more. I'm almost there.” I dashed to the next bush.

“All right. Better make it quick. I'm almost out of HP and if I go down, the wombat goes with me.”

“Sure you can't do anything to help?” I yelled at my fairy companion. Who, this far, had done little except float over my head and make twinkle-twinkle noises.

“Nope, not until you level up.”

“Dang it, we really could use a healer right about now.”

“Sorry buddy.”

I couldn't think about that now. One more bush. One more berry. One more to go. The Next bush had another Adult Jackalope behind it. I dodged its first attack, but it leapt up, dodging mine. I got myself into position and when it landed, I swung. It’s horn connected with my knee at the same moment my stick connected with its head.

It flew far across the valley as a notification popped into my view “You have been hit by Adult Jackalope for 16 damage.”

Thankfully, my HP regeneration had been working overtime, and I was at 17 HP when it connected. I wouldn't be able to take another. Not one more point of damage.

Beside me, Argyle wasn't doing any better. He had wounds in dozens of places along his body. His HP bar was the narrowest red sliver I'd ever seen. He was squaring off against two large black and white speckled beasts and it didn't look like he'd be able to take them both. He swung and connected with a head.

At the same moment that the other Jackalope leapt at him. Before it could hit him though, his HP bar leaped back up to full bright green.

He yelled with exhilaration. “Level up!!! What now!”

The wombat's health too seemed to be reset to full, and they both looked to have gotten a second wind.

“Finch, quit your daydreaming, and get the berries!”

“Right, the berries.” I lunged for the next bush. No, no berries here. The next one. “Yes!” There it was, the last Silverberry I needed... and two of the biggest Adult Jackalopes I'd seen yet.

It had only been a few seconds. My health was only at 6 HP. One hit could kill me. Out of nowhere, the paw of a second wombat appeared between me and my furry foes.

“Level up means I get a second summon!” yelled Argyle.

“Not a moment too soon,” I called back, ducking past the second wombat to collect the last Silverberry.

My quest counter ticked full and I got the prompt, “You have collected 12 Silverberries. Return to Quest Hall for reward.”

“Let's get going!” I yelled.

We turned and ran. This time, the way ahead of us had more Jackalope corpses than actual monsters. With two summons to back us up, not only were we able to run for the path, but we were able to collect as much loot as we could along the way.

Rabbit Pelts, Jackalope Horns, and Lucky Rabbit's Feet filled my inventory along with pounds and pounds and pounds of meat.

Argyle and I ran in awkward crouches, tapping every body we passed by, not wanting to waste any of the Lucky Rabbit Loot.

“Too bad you had to hit those things so far away,” Argyle noted.

“Somehow, I just can't bring myself to care.” I said.

“Nope, me neither,” Argyle replied.

We laughed and dashed back to the path back to town and back to the tavern.

We had won.