“It's a gas station.” Nate passed a beat up pair of binoculars to Kara.
“Looks like it has a convenience store. I can see bags of chips and sunflower seeds.” Kara passed them to me.
“Should we give it a try?” I asked.
“No. Pump ads.” grumbled Nate. “Better stay away.”
“Right, pump ads,” I said. How many ways are there to show ads? Of all the ways for the world to end, who knew it would be advertising. I couldn't take my eyes off of the simple gas station convenience store. The lights were still on. The fridges were probably still even running. The shelves were lined with snacks. They probably even had that most divine elixir, coffee. Oh, how I wanted coffee. The draw of the thought of coffee alone almost made me risk it, but no. The only way to stay alive is to stay well away from those advertisements. And yet, my eyes lingered. No, it wasn't just the coffee. I saw an old-school cabinet arcade game in the corner. I hadn't played a game in weeks. I could feel my palms itch thinking about holding a controller in my hands. My friends were already moving on and I had to pull my eyes away and follow.
About another half mile down the road, we found an alpaca farm. Well, what used to be an alpaca farm. Sadly, it looked like someone else had found it before us. Thankfully, it looked like whoever had been there had taken the alpacas with them.
“If only one type of person could survive the apocalypse, it would be a knitter.” Kara said “Remember when I used to crochet during lectures, and the teachers would give me a hard time for not focusing?”
“Yeah,” I said, smiling.
“How else was I supposed to pay attention without my fiber art?”
I gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Who knows, maybe we'll be able to find you some yarn somewhere around here.”
Yarn was about the only thing we managed to find. Whoever had taken the animals had also taken anything in a box, a can, or a jar. Anything that could be stored, and worst of all, they took all the coffee.
“I found some decaf Looptown tea,” said Nate, holding up a small box of tea bags
“Decaf,” Kara and I said in unison, shaking our heads. “What's the point? Why do people even bother?”
“Should I leave it?” asked Nate.
“No, bring it,” said Kara. “At least we'll be able to play pretend.”
Another quarter mile down the road was a side street leading to a block of suburban development. “Should we give it a try?” asked Kara.
“No, it'll be crawling with TVs and video game systems,” said Nate.
Just like with the gas station, we stared longingly. And eventually moved on. The old mountain road eventually brought us somewhere with a glowing green leaf on the door.
“A dispensary,” said Nate looking at us.
“A dispensary?”
“Yeah, they're bound to have at least a few snacks and drinks inside. Any advertising is likely to be of the old-fashion paper variety, maybe some neon lights. But that's about it.”
“Right, but let's take it slow.” I said. Sure enough, I was right. As it turned out, this particular dispensary had a staff room in back with all kinds of snacks, sodas, and yes, oh God yes, even coffee. Not quite enough to call our whole trip worthwhile, but at least we were guaranteed to not go back empty handed. We piled as much as we could in our packs, and kept going. A few months ago, I probably would have spent a little more time looking at the products in the front of the shop, but that's not the world we lived in anymore. I needed to stay sharp and so the display cases of Maui WowWee and indica dream stayed unmolested.
It continued like that for an hour. Most places we passed by simply couldn't be risked and we had to hide from not one, but two blimps along the way.
We made a few good finds and were starting to feel pretty good about the whole day. That's when we made our crucial mistake.
“Waffle Hutch,” I stated, looking at Nate. “Won't they have TVs and things?”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” said Nate and he pointed at the fuse box on the side of the building. “Those TVs still have to run on something.”
“Yeah, so do the refrigerators,” I replied.
“Right, the refrigerators that we're here to empty. So, who cares if they have power after we’re gone?”
Kara and I looked at each other and smiled. Then we looked back at Nate “You are a genius,an absolute genius.”
“Thank you, thank you.” He took a deep bow, doffing his tinfoil hat.
It took a couple minutes to break open the padlock on the fuse box. But once we did, we were able to switch off the power for the whole building. With our flashlights on, we went exploring. Sure enough, almost every angle a customer could look in the front of the house, there was a screen. I had flashbacks to the constant drone of football games and news anchors. Even if we went to a Waffle Hutch at three in the morning, the constant drone would be playing. It seemed so normal back then. Now, it was hard to imagine how we ever managed to carry on a conversation with that constant noise. A month’s worth of conditioning had taught me to avoid looking at the screens. That's the only way, THE ONLY WAY, to stay safe. Just don't look up.
We walked with our eyes glued to the floor to the back of the house. To the utterly palatial walk-in freezer.
“Oh, I forgot how good it feels to be cold,” said Kara. After so many days of sweat, just feeling the shivers felt like it was part of a different world.
‘No, this is the only world. This is the only world and this is the real world. There are no other worlds. Don't think like that. I can't think like that.’
We stuffed our packs with as much food as we could from the freezer and the pantry. “Hey guys,” said Kara. “Look what I found.”
“Oh, you divine goddess,” I said, looking at the large package she was holding. “You utter saint, you angel. I love you more now than ever before.”
“You're just saying that because I have coffee.”
I looked her deep in the eyes and told her, “Yes, but that doesn't make it any less true.”
She shoved me playfully.
“Maybe we should see what else we can find here? Maybe the employees had some extra clothes stashed away in their cubbies or maybe a backpack? We need more than just food,” suggested Nate.
“Good thinking. You go take a look. I'm going to see if the bathroom still has running water.”
“Good call,” said Kara. “I'll come with.”
The ladies room smelled like soap and cleaning products. A large stack of clean paper towels stood on the counter next to three large sinks and a vending machine for feminine products.
“We should definitely make sure we take some of those before we go,” said Kara.
“Definitely,” I said, “but first...” I twisted the handle on the sink to find the water was still flowing. I splashed cold water in my face “Yes! Oh, it feels so good to be clean.”
“We could clean more than just your face,” said Kara.
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“That sounds heavenly. But won't Nate wonder what we're up to.”
“Nate can get along perfectly fine on his own. Now get that shirt off.” I couldn't tell you if it was five minutes or 20, but a little while later and a whole lot cleaner, the two of us stepped out of the restroom.
“Nate,” I yelled “Where are you?”
“Nate!” yelled Kara. “We're done. You can come out now.”
“I think he was checking the employee lockers.” I said.
“Oh, right.”
Tracking to the back of the house and into the employee break room, at first I didn't see him until...
“Nate!” said Kara, leaning down to a body on the floor. “Oh god, what happened to him?”
I noticed too late. There was a small tablet in his hand. A small, battery powered tablet “Kara, no!” The advertisement began playing.
####
My eyes opened on the same ceiling I had seen every day in this game, but now it had taken on a much more sinister hue. I had felt trapped in this game when I couldn't move forward. It bothered me that I couldn't simply exit, but this was the first time that I saw it for the prison it really was.
Kara. She was dropped in here too, somewhere. I knew it now. I could remember. We had fled the city and were in the woods for this very reason. Some facts still eluded me, but we were aware that this could happen.
Was she also in Endless Adventure Online? In some other noob town? And what would happen to our bodies? Would anyone ever find us there, in the back room of that Waffle Hutch?
I started to shake. I pulled my knees into my chest and rolled over onto my side. We were trapped. I wasn't in a capsule somewhere. I wasn't in a server motel with an I.V. drip and a protein pack. My body was just lying on the ground. Next to Kara. I may even be touching her right now, but she was so far away. I didn't know if I'd ever even see her again.
I felt foolish. I had spent all this time playing the game. I'd wanted to get out there and adventure. I wanted to escape. That was it. I wanted to escape. I knew that something was wrong and I didn't want to have to deal with it. So, I did what I had always done and focused on the escape of fantasy. Now I knew we had wasted the last few days. Was it days? It felt like weeks, but with the time compression it was probably only a day or two.
I should have been finding every angle to escape. Instead, I had been focused on… on what? On helping Argyle? I couldn't feel bad about that.
But I hadn't just helped Argyle. I had also taken every opportunity to get ahead in the game. To play. To do what I could to escape. Even when he clearly was going through something, had I been there for him? Had I asked him what was wrong? No, I had gone off adventuring.
I looked down at myself. The fine greenish hair on my arms. This elven body that wasn't my own. I knew it. No, I wasn't running away from a failed relationship or disappointing my family. I was just stuck. Instead of getting myself unstuck, I just let the game distract me.
I had been a bad friend. I had been a bad friend to Argyle, who'd helped me out. I had to do better. I had to do better by him. I had to do better by Kara.
“Oh god. Kara.” I needed to find her. I needed to find her, wherever she was. Maybe she was in this game with me, maybe she was someplace else. Maybe she remembered or maybe, like me, she had forgotten everything.
What if she was trapped in a different starter city, not knowing how to play the game, and not being able to complete the first quest? What if she didn't even have an Argyle? No one to help her get past the first broken quest.
That settled it. Starting today, my sole focus would be visiting the other new villages and finding her wherever she is.
I sat up and wiped my nose. “Kara, I'm coming for you.”
When I came downstairs, the sausage ad playing. After my dream, I wasn't in the mood for any of this. I found that it was much easier to not pay attention. It was easier to pull my eyes away. I didn't just stand like a statue in the doorway. I left. I walked on into the room. It felt like each step was an act of will, like I needed to focus on each step. Not just once, but every time I found myself turning my head towards the laughing children and the running sausage, I had to remind myself, “You're getting distracted. Concentrate on walking.”
The part of me that wanted distraction was numb, but the habit remained. I wanted something real. People talk about wanting peace or tranquility. Maybe that's what I was looking for. I was looking for something I didn't know. I was looking for the flaw, the lack of detail that would give my brain a moment to cool and my heart to slow.
I looked out the windows, but there was nothing outside. No city, no street, just an uninteresting vague blueness. Not the rich blue of the afternoon sky, but screen error blue, like my computer just crashed. I felt my head clear for just a moment. I could feel the dryness in my throat, a pain in my bladder, a soft hand next to mine.
I also felt the sensory barrage of the advertisement lessening. In this moment of low stimulation, I could do anything. Llike, I could just step out if I were to leave the right door. Like I would be heading someplace else. I would leave Argyle and Fez behind. Maybe I would get closer to Kara. Maybe I wouldn't. I remembered how I had just left the Hill Rest Inn ad. In this moment, my memory seemed clearer. I could just escape.
Before I could make it out the door, the ad came to an abrupt end. For a moment, I found myself in two places at once. I was both standing at the window staring out at blue nothingness outside and at the base of the stairs, taking in the tavern. Between the two, there was a disembodied sense of pain, a feeling of wrongness, of division. Like a headache in your ankle, or heartburn in every finger nail. It seemed to be everywhere and nowhere all at once.
It only lasted a moment before it ended and I was back, standing by the window.
“Mental Resistance check successful.”
“Wow, bro. You were just, like, in two places at once.”
“Yeah,” I said, rubbing the echos of pain out of my head. “It's just something I'm trying.”
“So, I was thinking, before we go out to the woods today, I think we need to spend a little bit of time crafting some of the things that we picked up yesterday. I mean, it's all well and good to help your fairy friend, but you know I still worry about my sister. I need to.”
“Woah!” Fez fluttered up in between the two of us. “Hold it right there. The most important thing today is helping out the fairies. They are in dire straits. They need us.”
I wanted to explain to him that, in games like this, plot hooks just waited until we were ready to deal with them. Looking at him, I couldn't find the words. He was so convinced that this was urgent. This was the only thing he could think about.
At the same time, I still needed to find Kara. Now that I knew that we were both lying on the floor in the back of the Waffle hustle it was more urgent than ever that I found her in the game.
I felt torn. I had just agreed to help out the fairies and I had agreed to help out Argyle. I had just committed to being a better friend to him. If I wanted to be a better friend, I would have to help both of them, but I also felt that I had to get going if I had any chance of finding Kara and getting us out of this situation.
“Okay, okay, look guys, I know that those things are important. But I also have something important.”
“Oh yeah?” demanded Fez. “Name one thing more important than saving the fairies?”
“Saving my sister,” said Argyle, glaring at my fairy friend.
“Well, I…” the words caught in my throat. “It's about the outside world.”
“Oh, yeah,” said Argyle, perking up immediately. “Did you remember something about what's going on out there?”
“Yeah, a little bit, but…”
“Well, go on man. Tell me, what's the news from the outside?”
I stuttered, realizing that I couldn't tell him. If Argyle knew my situation, he would know how bad things were. He would immediately start worrying about his sister. Any time he got bad news about the outside world, or anything that might threaten his plan to help his sister, things went sour quickly. If he knew, then it would only be moments until the system sent him charging into danger.
No, I couldn't tell them. But if I didn't tell them, how was I going to explain why what I needed to do was more important. And what was I going to do anyway?
I took a long moment to think. “Well, you see, I just remembered that Kara... Kara logged into the game with me and I wanted to find a way of meeting up with her.” This wasn't a complete lie and both of them seemed to be taking it in well. “So I wanted to… I wanted to… Fez! I wanted your help. Could you... I don't know, like, use your admin powers to search to see if she's in the game with me, and where she is?”
For a moment, Fez just sat there scratching his head. “I mean, I guess I could see if other users logged in from the same source you did around the same time. That should be in the logs. Only problem is, I'm not an admin right now. I don't have that same access when I'm your companion.”
“Oh, right.”
“I mean. If I was an admin, I could use the privileges to check the logs, but, you know. We kind of got more important things to do right now. I mean, I'll be honest, if your girlfriend's in the game, she's probably just in another village. She'll be fine. The fairies are in danger now.”
How could I tell him that I was getting dehydration warnings? That I couldn't log out and that I knew that I only maybe had another day at most in the real world and that she was in the same state. Well, actually, that would be really easy to explain to him. He would probably understand and blame it on some kind of meatbag nonsense. But how could I do that with Argyle around? If I told Argyle anything about this, he would want the whole story.
In the end, I gave in to both of them. “Okay guys, we'll spend two hours crafting. Then, Fez, we will go save the fairies, but first I need something from you. If we do create some kind of an error that promotes you to admin. I'm gonna need you to do that search for me. Can you do that?”
“And you promise you're going to help the fairies?”
“I promise I will help the fairies. And Argyle, I promise I will help you help your sister. Okay. This sounds like a plan.”
Both of my friends looked at each other, looked at me, and nodded. “Alright, it’s a plan.” All I could feel was frustrated. Frustrated that I couldn't just do what I know I needed to. I couldn't help Kara without their help. And so I just gave in.
I couldn't help but worry about Kara, worry about myself. I was dying of dehydration, and here I was crafting meaningless trinkets in a digital environment, getting ready to fight a war on behalf of the imaginary fairies. But wasn't that how I had spent my life? Important things were happening out there and here I was, in fantasyland. The only difference was, now everything had real consequences. I felt like I was going to go crazy, being pulled in so many directions. I couldn't tell if my friends were distractions placed in the way by the game or if they were my salvation.
That's about when I saw the smile on Argyle's face. He was calm, content. He was working towards saving his sister and that's all that mattered. He didn't know if he would succeed or not, but he was trying. I could learn from him. I turned my attention to the task in front of me. “This is what I can do now.”