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4.5 - The Mugger

[Humphrey slowly enters the alley, kicking away an empty can as he closes the distance between himself, Gary and the Mugger. He keeps a smile on him as the Mugger reaches to grab the briefcase, the boxcutter now pointed towards Humphrey.]

Humphrey: So then, what’s your name? Is it Ryan?

[The Mugger, possibly Ryan, frowns and begins backing up a little into the rubbish.]

Ryan: [confused] What?

Humphrey: Okay then, not Ryan. What about Lawrence?

Lawrence: [confused] What are you on about?

Humphrey: Steven?

Steven: [annoyed] Will you shut up?

Humphrey: Okay Steven.

Steven: [shouting] My name is not Steven!

Humphrey: [shouting] Well we’re hardly going to get anywhere if we’re not on a first name basis, are we?

[Humphrey subtly steps closer.]

Humphrey: Now then, Leslie-

Leslie: [angry] I fucking swear-

Humphrey: [quickly] You do that a lot, now then. My name is Humphrey, his name is Gary.

Leslie: Why the hell should I care?!

Humphrey: Well Leslie, from experience, I find that you’re less likely to hurt someone if you know something about them.

[Leslie growls at the nickname, moving towards Humphrey.]

Leslie: How the fuck is the name “Gary” gonna stop me?

[Humphrey steps over.]

Humphrey: Well… one more step and I’ll tell you.

Leslie: [confused] What?

Humphrey: Take another step towards me and I’ll tell you why it matters.

Leslie: [angry] What the fuck are you on about?

Humphrey: [interrupting] I won’t ask again, Leslie.

Leslie: [angry] Stop fucking calling me-

[Leslie raises up the boxcutter and tries to stab Humphrey with it. In reaction, Humphrey quickly grabs a hold of Leslie’s arm and cracks the wrist, making Leslie scream and drop the knife. Humphrey quickly spins him around to have his arm behind his back and be facing in front of Humphrey.]

Humphrey: There you go, just one step. Not too hard.

Leslie: [angry] You’re a fucking freak.

Humphrey: No, I’m efficient. Gary!

[Gary quickly perks up, confused.]

Gary: Be a good lad and grab the briefcase for me.

[He nods and goes over to grab it. Leslie perks up a bit and gets an idea. Very quickly he pulls away and smashes the back of his head into Humphrey’s face, creating a loud smashing sound. He immediately crumbles back, grabbing onto his face and letting Leslie go. In response to this, Leslie turns around and punches Humphrey across the jawline with a loud cracking noise. Humphrey screams in pain as he collides onto the ground with his nose, jaw and teeth broken while profusely bleeding. Leslie backs up and starts kicking Humphrey on the ground, more loud cracking noises heard. Gary turns with the briefcase in his hands, seeing Leslie boot Humphrey in the ribs and in the leg. Almost immediately the leg breaks and bends back slightly. Gary drops the briefcase, surprised.]

Gary: Hey!

[Gary quickly grabs the boxcutter on the ground as Leslie turns to face him. As Gary tries to point it at him and threaten him, Leslie launches himself at Gary and grabs him by the hand with the boxcutter. He pushes Gary back by the hand and into the bins, Gary falling on top and over them as Leslie manages to pull the knife out of his hands and quickly stabs it through Gary’s shoulder. Gary screams.]

Leslie: You stupid fuck! You thought you could fucking do anything?

[Humphrey, broken and bleeding behind leslie, slowly pulls his hands up onto the ground and starts to pull himself up. He groans in pain, gathering Leslie’s attention.]

Leslie: [annoyed] What, you still not fucking done?

[Leslie walks over, looming above Humphrey. Humphrey’s hands clench together as he slowly gets himself resting on top of his broken leg while the other tries to pull the resting leg up. Leslie growls a bit.]

Leslie: [annoyed] Fucking idiot.

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[Leslie kicks Humphrey in the other leg which breaks in half and makes Humphrey crumble down in pain. However in almost half a second, Humphrey’s leg snaps back into place and he moves back to being comfortably knelt on the ground.]

Leslie: The fuck…

[Humphrey moves the other broken leg around, snapping quickly back into place and allowing him to crouch. Humphrey stands up as his body audibly breaks back into place, his caved in ribs snapping back into a healthy position. He stares down Leslie, who looks horrified, as the bleeding stops. He grabs his nose and breaks it near enough back into place, healing itself and looking brand new. He grabs his off-centre jaw with one hand and easily breaks it back into place.]

Humphery: [panting] Now then… shall we start again?

[Leslie, wide-eyed, rears back and punches Humph across the face. His jaw again breaks, however very quickly snaps back into place. With Humphery bent over, Leslie punches him in the back which also breaks. On the ground, Leslie starts to stomp violently on him while Humphrey quickly heals back to health. Leslie gives a dozen kicks into Humphrey’s back as he’s on the ground, all the broken bones immediately healing. He backs away from Humphrey, panting. Humphrey proceeds to quickly get back onto his feet, cracking his back a bit in the process. Humphrey groans in disappointment, looking over to Leslie. He spits some blood out onto his shoes, looking him in the eye.]

Humphrey: Okay then… let’s not.

[Leslie prepares to attack with the boxcutter, but Humphrey quickly swats the hand away. He grabs Leslie by the hair and pulls him towards the left wall of the alley, smashing the side of his head into it. Humphrey quickly grabs him under the ear and continues smashing him into the wall, eventually breaking his ear and cutting him just above it. Humphrey stops for a moment as Leslie drops onto the ground, crying and bleeding out the side of his head, dropping the boxcutter at their feet.]

Leslie: [blubbering] S-stop, please… I-I’ll stop it, I’ll go away…

[Humphrey crouches down in front of Leslie, looking him over. Leslie stares at the floor, slowly starting to hold the side of his head.]

Leslie: [blubbering] I-I won’t hurt anyone, I’ll do good, I-I’ll give him back his stuff and-

Humphrey: Shush.

[Leslie looks up from the ground at Humphrey.]

Leslie: W-what do you mean?

[Humphrey very quietly grabs the boxcutter in his left hand, pushing the blade out as far as it could go.]

Humphrey: It is very hard to focus… when you don’t stop talking.

[Before Leslie can say anything, Humphrey quickly covers his mouth and pushes him over. Leslie kicks and attempts to scream, muffled under Humphrey’s right palm. He quickly moves around the boxcutter and shoves the blade deep into Leslie’s cut. Almost immediately, Leslie falls limp and stops moving. His eyes stay open as his head falls limp, collapsing onto the ground. Humphrey gives a sigh, quickly retracting the blade into the boxcutter and standing up above Leslie.]

Humphrey: Do rest well, young man…

[He looks up to Gary on the bins, seeing that he’s still bleeding and has become unconscious. He moves over to him, prodding the stab wound gently and causing it squirt a very small amount of blood out. He hums to himself.]

Humphrey: Minimal bleeding, nothing vital has been hit…

[Humphrey nods to himself in confirmation as he moves over to the briefcase. He unlocks it and pops it open, revealing his featureless skin-coloured Dumpty mask, a second pair of leather gloves, a disassembled handgun and a roll of bin bags next to a small towel all held in a felt padding. He removes the roll of bin bags and closes the briefcase, turning his attention back to the bleeding body of Leslie.]

Humphrey: Let’s clean you up first.

[He unrolls a bin bag and pulls it off, resting the roll on top of the unconscious Gary as he proceeds to get to work.]