I will go out on a limb here and suggest that might just be the Betrayal of all that is Good, my dear.

I love a good understatement. Sadly, I was not in a position to fully appreciate it right now: my to-do list was suddenly a little busy. Kraken streaking towards me? Tick. Important mythical figures injured and sinking in below-freezing toxic sludge? Tick. Useless fat fucker crying in the boat behind me? Double tick.

But let's try to grab a few crumbs of comfort. The bigger of the two Krakens was not taking too much interest in us yet. I mean, that could change at any second, but it still seemed happy skirting around the edge of the lake like some sort of weird squid/Roomba hybrid.

Oh, and the fact that the smaller one was getting closer meant I was probably going to be able to hit it with my next blast of . Of course, I'd probably be looking into the middle of its mind-bendingly ugly face at that stage. But I'm all about the upside right now.

Otherwise, I might just cry.

I lunged to the opposite side of the boat - fortunately, Mark's bulk kept it dead level - and dipped my hand into the water.

What are you doing, my dear? The Kraken is coming the other way.

"Yep. That's why we're out of here." I fired off a quick burst of and anchored myself to the boat by encasing my foot in a block of Earth Qi.

With a lurch, we shot forward as if I'd just switched on an outboard motor. "Where's the Kraken?" I yelled at Mark as we started cresting waves in a somewhat uncontrolled manner.

This was proving to be all a bit much for the King of Gwynedd, who vomited most of last week's supper up as we blasted along. "What the fuck is happening!!!"

"Can't talk right now, mate. Doing my best to defy the laws of physics. Where's the Kraken gone?"

"It was right ahead of us, but it dove under the . . . Oh shit!!!"

It didn't seem like Mark had good news for me. Without looking, I pointed my hand the opposite way and dramatically changed our direction, nearly throwing us both out of the canoe. There was a concerning creaking noise from the craft beneath, but, you know what, there is only so much worry I can hold in my heart at any one time. We were either going to be dead soon, or we weren't. There wasn't much more I could do than I was already trying.

A tentacle shot out just to my side, nearly knocking me into the water. "Mate, don't just sit there. Fucking hit it with something."

I changed direction again, lurching us to the opposite side. As Mark nearly toppled out, I locked his feet to the base of the canoe, too. Losing the last king on the quest who wasn't a)dead, b)being fucked raw, or c) a fucking backstabbing bastard would just be plain poor personnel management. More water crashed over the top of us, suggesting Nessie Mk II was still doing its best to ruin my day.

"Big M! Can you lock on to Lancelot and Arthur's position?"

Not a problem, my dear. Without wishing to add to the pressure, it appears Owain is about to reach the island. I am not sure you have time to both save your fellows and also intercept him from gaining Caeldfwch."

"Are they still alive?"

I performed another hairpin turn. It was difficult to tell whether all the accompanying noise was the Kraken's screaming, the canoe's seams about to give up the ghost, or Mark losing his shit. My money was on all three.

They are. For now. Arthur had a significant chest wound, but the cold of the water is actually keeping him from bleeding out. Lancelot . . .

"Nah, mate. I can't cope with ominous pauses right now.

Lancelot is still struggling with the aftereffects of his previous battle. I can sense he still lives, but . . .

"Dude!"

He is in a bad way.

"Drynwyn?"

What the fuck do you want now?

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"I need you to let Mark hold you."

No fucking chance.

"Mate," another right-degree turn and more screaming, creaking and blubbering. A tentacle whipped across the side of the boat, catching me on the shoulder. "I'm so not up for this right now! Merlin, can you put some sort of waypoint up for me?"

He touches me, and it's Wicker Man time. That fucker is toxic.

A giant green triangle appeared on the lake about a couple of hundred feet from our current position. I swung the canoe around, narrowly missing driving straight through Kraken, which had suddenly crested the water and emerged in all its nightmare glory.

"FUUUUUCCKKKK!" screamed Mark, swinging his oar at it. One of the creature's jaws snapped down, splintering it in two.

"Drynwyn! Wind your fucking neck in. I need him if we're going to survive this. I can't be an outboard motor, a Qi cannon, a lifeboat operator and provide adequate calamari protection. It would help if you stepped up."

Not a fucking chance.

In Drynwyn's defence, I don't think it was being deliberately difficult. Although it may have some discretion about its definition of a 'good man' who can safely hold it, I think the ship of Mark's goodness may have long since sailed.

To your left!

I turned the boat instinctively, missing a forest of tentacles by millimetres. "What the fuck, mate! You nearly sent me straight into it!"

I warned you it was on the left!

"I thought you meant to turn left! Oh, fuck this/"

I dropped into my Artist's Studio.

"Okay. Okay. Let's take a beat here." If I thought it was a bit of a cheat code that I could essentially stop time and plan my next move, then that intrusive idea could bite me. The odds were more stacked against me than Pamela Anderson in her heyday. I'd be taking every advantage I could get my hands on, fuck you very much.

"Let's think through the next few seconds." I closed my eyes and tried to recapture the scene before me. I could feel my Qi refilling from soaking up the ambient essence in the air. It seemed to hit the hard limit much faster than it had been doing recently.

It might not be the appropriate moment, my dear, but this is significant progress. Suppose you can avoid being ripped apart by this first Kraken, somehow escape the notice of the second, reach Arthur and Lancelot before they expire and then prevent Owain from drawing Caeldfwch before he projects an aura of anti-Qi at you. In that case, you will be looking in pretty good shape.

"Well, thanks for the pep talk."

There were too many things to get done at once. I couldn't plot out a series of events that would continue to keep all the balls in the air. If I stopped using to drive the canoe, I could probably blast Arthur and Lancelot out of the water and onto the island. Maybe. It wasn't like I had much experience directing giant air jets. Knowing my luck, I'd overshoot and catapult them straight into the bigger Kraken.

On the other hand, I could ignore the men in the water and reach the island and royally fuck up Owain before he had a shot at the sword. I'd enjoy that, but I'm not sure the timeline would be so appreciative.

And then there was the Kraken hunting us down . . .

No. The only game in town was saving the two people whose existence kept Zizzie alive. That was the whole point of my resurrection.

"Big M, can you help me direct a blast of at Arthur and Lancelot? I need to get it just right to blow them out of the water and land them as close to Owain as possible."

I can, my dear, but if you stop using your Qi to drive the boat, you will immediately become Kraken food.

"Yep. Heard and understood. And if you have any solution to avoid that, which will also keep the Once and Future King alive, I'm all ears. But the timeline needs Arthur."

What does the future look like if Arthur has no cultivator by his side once he becomes the Pendragon, my dear? And that's assuming either of them will actually be in any shape to fight Owain when they land.

"It's a shitty situation. Give me another hand to play, and I'll run with it!"

The silence was the only answer I needed.

*

Things moved almost as if they were in slow motion when I popped back out into real-time.

I pulled my hand out of the water, immediately stopping our momentum. This was actually a net benefit as it momentarily wrong-footed - well, wrong-tentacled - the Kraken, which had incorrectly anticipated our course of direction.

"Why have we stopped!"

I was not at home to King Mark right now. I took aim at the green arrow Merlin had helpfully placed above my targets. I reached out with a gentle pulse and found them both, just barely alive. I pushed as much as I thought I could possibly spare their way. I was worried about the side effects, though. I needed them both to be able to function to take out Owain, or this wasn't going to be worth it.

"It's coming!"

Mark's voice was seriously getting on my tits.

"You're up, Big M."

My dear, are you sure? You could still get out of this. The Kraken will be upon you if you're stationary for much longer.

"Take the shot, mate."

I felt Merlin take control of my Qi. That feeling still made me retch, but it was hardly like it mattered any longer. It was, briefly, interesting to watch how he shaped, controlled and executed the blast of . In my last moment, I recognised how far I still had to go before I was a millionth of the cultivator this man had been.

The stream of air shot out of me, plunging through the water and launching Arthur and Lancelot into the air. I didn't need to watch their progress to know they would hit dry ground.

A shadow fell over me. I turned to face a sight which, oddly, didn't seem so scary anymore.

"Big M? It's been emotional."

And my canoe was swallowed up.