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Chapter 5 - In which I am not a wizard, Harry

Funnily enough, it all went quite smoothly after that.

Of course, Beric and Mark moaned and whinged a bit, but Owain, and to a lesser extent, Corys agreed with the course of action Arthur outlined. So, in pretty short order, the four Kings - along with enough men to make each feel comfortable - would set off in pursuit of Caeldfwich and the first amongst them to claim it would have the right to return with it to their home kingdom

You don't have to go, you know, my dear. With the number of swords and spears on this little jaunt, I can't imagine they'll be in much need of you.

To be honest, I didn't disagree. It was clearly going to be of far greater benefit for me to crack on with my studies. I was finding to have all sorts of cool applications – I could literally channel the lightning energy through Drynwyn to produce an epic fire/lightning combination that fulfilled all my Thundercat’s fantasies - which I needed to play with to get best value from.

Also, my Qi Core water feature was now filled to the very top, and I was sure just one more big push would tip me over the edge. "When it does, it’ll move me into Harry, right? That's what the whole thing represents, doesn't it? It tracks my progress to the next level of cultivation?"

This silliness isn’t going to go away, is it? Hey ho. A small price to pay, I suppose. As I am sure you are aware, it's not quite as simple as that, my dear. But, once your . . . water feature overflows it will begin the process of remaking your body into that of a... Harry. Just to check, you’re sure we must use these infantile names for rather complex notions?"

"Look, I've told you before, if we're going to play this game, then I'm not going to do it with a straight face.”

And describing yourself and your ungodly powers in terms of hormonal teenagers helps you maintain your sense of poise and dignity, does it?"

"Fucking A. So, what do I need to do to tip the water feature over the edge?"

There was a pause, and then I was pulled into my Artist's Studio. The Vitruvian-Man-As-Me filled my vision, and I could see my Qi paint moving around my channels in a smooth flow with my every breath; little tributaries branching off to my various mana stores, my armour, Drynwyn and the recent addition, to my cauldron

What do you see, my dear?

“Oh, you know. Just me being awesome. Crushing the Qi cycling thing like a legend.”

Quite. As we've discussed - many times - you have had some experiences that have leapt your level of cultivation significantly further forward than would be expected when your actual knowledge is considered. Your channels - following the incident with Vortigern’s Dragon and your subsequent . . . enthusiasm with the mana stone - are capable of moving vastly more Qi than they are currently doing.

I wrinkled my nose at that. After months of relative calm, I felt I was probably as full of Qi as I could possibly be. My newest addition - the cauldron - had never stopped slurping my Qi down like a teenager with a lifetime's supply of Prime.

"I'm not sure I have all that much more room in here, Big M."

No, of course not. Your Qi levels are about as high as they are ever going to be. I'm talking about concentration.

I sensed there was a lecture coming on. "I mean, I’m happy to ask the question, or you can just go off on one.”

For form's sake, I quite like it when you ask.

"Fuck's sake. Tell me, oh great Merlin, what is it you mean by ‘Qi concentration?’"

Are you sure you are interested? I cannot help but notice a certain amount of - shall we say - shortness in your tone.

"Dude...”

Fine. It would be best if you thought about progression in quite a linear way.

First, you're a Neville (I'm hating myself.) You had significant potential, but no workable channels and relatively little Qi to move around them in the event. Secondly, with luck, you move into Ron territory. This is a substantially large category which will probably cover most cultivators alive at any one time. At this stage, most Rons will have techniques that can move Qi around the body and, perhaps, expel it in specific quantities. A Ron’s body will have enhanced mental and physical properties and the cultivator will generally be a menace to regular society.

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Now, this is where it gets Interesting.

"Oh, good. I was hoping for an interesting bit . . ."

As you reach the threshold of ... Harry, you will begin to form your Qi core.

"That's my water feature, right? It appeared when I learned .

My dear, I cannot tell you how reductive it is to describe a Qi core as a 'water feature.’ If you seek immortality, this feature will carry you there. It needs more respect.

"I'm barely capable of seeking tomorrow's breakfast, let alone eternal life. You're telling me it does something more than just spin around when my paint sloshes through it?"

Yes.

I sensed I was getting on his nerves more than usual. I did my best to dial down my ‘me-ness’.

As your capacity to cycle increases, more of your Qi will be stored in the core until it is complete.

"Which is where I'm at now. So, are you telling me I'm a wizard, Harry?"

No. And I can promise you, I will never use those words. This is where your swift progression bites you, as it were, on your arse, my dear. Because most cultivators at the Ron stage have very limited channels through which to cycle, the concentration of their Qi naturally increases. Over the ten to fifteen years most will spend at this stage, they will need to focus on improving the potency of their Qi.

You, on the other hand, have twice blazed hugely unlikely volumes of high intensity Qi through your channels, resulting in the sort of cycling capacity that would not be out of line was someone three, maybe even four, levels of advancement higher. And, of course, you've had me reordering and reconnecting things, which an ordinary Ron would never do. So, you're now at the point of the threshold, but….

"You're Saying I'm a Lager Shandy when I should be Jack Daniels. “

Merlin paused. Whilst that is not a wholly inappropriate metaphor, can l again stress the deeply complex nature of cultivation, which should not be reduced to . . .

"Yes, yes, yes. So how do I increase the potency. Is there an Elixir I can brew?".

There are any number of alchemical products that can increase your Qi concentration. I am sure you will eventually be able to reproduce it then. Particularly as you have a Treasure of Britain. However, with things being as they are and your oft-repeated desire to reach for the quickest solution, I am not against allowing you to consume a natural treasure.

"You’re sounding all a bit White Witch with Turkish delight here, mate."

Do you want my advice or wish to be delightfully irreverent?

"To be honest, I'd quite like to get laid, but considering my options, appear to be limited to Father Christmas or Jabba the Hutt, I'm willing to give a . . . what did you call it? A natural treasure, a whirl.”

Merlin guided me down to the lowest floor of his tower and over to a row of shelves packed with various odds and ends. He'd explained the nature of the unique storage that operated on these shelves, which did sound like colossal bullshit.

Apparently, all I needed to do was put my hand on the shelf and bring what I wanted into being.

"Earl Grey. Hot."

What are you doing, my dear?

"Just trying something out. You can't tell me you've got a replicator in here and not expect me to at least give it a go."

It is not a replicator. It is a storage device for everything of use I have collected over the years. If I had put a cup of hot tea in there, it would have been produced. However, as I tended to take my responsibilities as the land's foremost cultivator a little more seriously than that, all you will find here will be historic and deeply significant magical items."

"So, just checking, no chance of a bag of coke?" I sensed I was probably starting quite close to the edge. "Just joshing with you. So, what am I looking for?”

The most effective natural treasure of which I am aware - and, as you can imagine, I am aware of quite a lot - would be the root of the Erobes plant.

"You clearly just made that up."

Merlin ignored me. Put your hand on the shelf and imagine a brown root about four inches long. It has rough skin, not unlike ginger.

"Dude, tell me this game of ‘What's in the Box’ isn't going to be your cock, because I tell you, I've had this done to me before, and the description is easily similar."

I managed to banish the image of dicks of Christmas past from my head and tried to visualise what Merlin was describing. After a few heartbeats, something popped into my hand, and I removed it from the shelf.

It was pretty much. as Merlin had described - and if I didn’t know differently, I would have thought it would have been nothing more exotic than a really dried-up knob of ginger. Maybe something more like cinnamon bark.

"So, what do I do with it now?"

Erobes root is deeply, deeply toxic.

"Awesome."

So, we need to prepare it with care. Even the slightest sliver can purge you of your Qi in the most dramatic of ways.

"Explosive diarrhoea?"

Explosive, certainly. We have to reduce its effectiveness to just the right level so it will distil and filter your Qi but not wholly expel it.

"Okay. And how do we do that?"

Well, you have a cauldron of unusual power, so that will help. Most of the other ingredients to boil it up will be here somewhere. Oh, but the last ingredient may be a touch tough to come by.

"What? I'm going to need the blood of a virgin?" I joked.

Silence.

“Big M. Tell me I don't need the blood of a virgin for this concoction?"

Okay.

"Okay, what?”

Okay, I won't tell you.