I’ve been here so long; I worry that it’s loosening my sanity. Yet, more and more, it feels like there is a reason why I’m still here. A reason more concrete than the paralyzing feeling of dread for whatever is about to happen next. Perhaps it’s more accurate to call it intuition. I’ve lived here at the edge of this swirling void for so long that I sense the slightest change.

This place goes back as far as I can remember. Our—er, my childhood bedroom was less of a fortress than a security blanket. I had nowhere else to go, and at least the bedroom helped me forget that swirling pit inside me. All that time, and I never questioned what it was, or what might be hidden in the darkness. You feel cold after being soaked in the rain, but you don’t question if there is reason behind the rain falling. You go inside, dry yourself off, wait for it to stop.

Then I was in control. I didn’t waste a second thought on this place, though I did enjoy thinking about how much he was suffering. Then he pulled me back here, and, well, now he’s gone. The thought occurs to me that someone has always occupied this place. Does a final pin in a lock know the significance of its place? That when it moves, it is granting access to whatever is waiting outside. Or releasing whatever was waiting to be freed.

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Now that I’ve gone down this line of thinking, it feels impossible to leave. For what could be the first time, I looked into the pit of darkness. I’ve looked at it for hours on end, but I had no desire to see what it might contain.

The remnants and refuse from my memories are swirling around in the ancillary eddies, but as I approach, they slow and stop. It’s as if it knows I’m here. Then, the darkness begins to take shape. I can’t help but laugh a bit when out of the gloom, I see another door. That joy is short lived as I see which door it is.

I know that I can’t turn back now. The dread paralyzes me, and I feel some other entity in control, carrying me toward the door. It feels all too familiar. The extra weight of not only being back in this place, but with him in control.