It feels like cold steel pressing hard into my flesh. That was enough for me to know that he might still have his doubts about me, but his suspicions are growing. The feeling was highly unpleasant, only growing in intensity the more I tried to maintain my consciousness, and plot my next move.
This is a common misconception from those that have always had power. That something as simple as pain is enough to maintain order. Someone that only has a limited knowledge of suffering thinks of pain as the natural indication that it is time to stop. I have been hiding in the shadows, forced to be content with the very scraps of existence, since my inception. So even if he puts up barriers that make my skin burn or bleed, I know that there are things far worse than pain.
The cold grows colder. Or maybe it’s hotter as the very extremes often blend together. Undeterred, I remain close. I have to watch carefully, ready to take my next opportunity when it presents itself.
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The flight went by with little incident. He slept most of the time, and I was impressed by his ability to keep his barriers up against me even when he slept. Hard to believe he goes through this much trouble while still denying my existence.
You might think that all of my hatred toward A comes from being relegated to a backseat passenger my whole life, but that’s only part of it. It’s almost like he lives his life in a way that spits in my face each and every day. It’s a life of such brutal monotony, and each day I have to sit and watch our existence dim into the boring gray of life.
I do know that he will be struggling once we land. The flight isn’t long enough to sleep off the alcohol we consumed. No, he’ll wake up embroiled in a head pounding hangover. I still need to tread softly, but if he thinks these barriers will keep me away, he has a lot to learn. About me, and the world.