I never realized how much I enjoy driving. Not that I’d ever had the chance to do it before. The world moves past, it shifts, waves back at me with fields combed into neat rows. There is so much that I still have yet to experience, but so far, this one has affected me the most.

It wasn’t the reason that I left, of course. That was not done out of desire. I was running away from the gaping jaws of something worse than death. I am confident in my new position, but I know how much a place can change a person. Not to mention the warping a job can have on a dewy eyed individual.

Forgive me if my mind starts to wander, I have been sleeping for most of my life, and I’m still learning how to be awake. I roll down the window, and in that blast of crisp air, scented with the thawing ground, moments from my past are informed. The cool breeze on a beach in the middle of summer has taken a slice of this moment and it has grown more real.

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All this to say that I am thoroughly enjoying my time. There was never time for that in any of my other moments in control. Those moments were brief and fleeting, and the only thing I could think of was finding some way to extend the moment. That’s not the case anymore, so I turn up the radio until I can hear it over the wind filling the car.

When I picture my mind, I see an entire field sprouting at once. There is so much to pay attention to, and for a while, all I can do is bask in the sun and wait to see what flourishes. On the third day of my journey into the unknown, I sat up, and was able to take stock of what my options really were.

It didn’t take much time after that. She had lit the way for so much of my life, it felt only natural to drive off toward her. I’m not sure what my plan is after that. It remains hazy outside of the long road that has been stretched out between us. I’m sure that when I see her, it will burn that fog away. I’m sure of it.