Trevor ran.

He saw it! The machine that killed their boss. It had been buried by who he assumed to be the owner.

Under the cover of night, he could not tell the golem apart from a person. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have thought so.

To think he’d spot it while foraging; he couldn’t tell if he was lucky or not. On one end, he wanted revenge, but such thoughts had started to die down. It was mostly in the heat of the moment when that drive burned strong.

He sighed.

"I'll just tell the group and get it over with."

----------------------------------------

I heard whispers as I flipped through my book, so I looked outside. A group of hooded figures were sneaking around.

Wait, it was those bandits from a few days back! Urgh, I really didn’t want to see them again.

Please tell me they didn’t spot Minnie digging me. But then again, it was almost two hours since I had been buried. The golem was taking an awfully long time…

“While I was following them, I saw him bury it there. Let's just destroy his machine and make a run for it.”

...

Why did I assume my luck wouldn't screw me over?

The bandit that spoke earlier- oh, he was the one that threw the mace at my windows! He held his lantern towards me, illuminating the suspicious mound of soil without grass.

Another bandit looked around nervously.

“A-are you sure he won’t just come back? He must be a fairly powerful mage to be able to bury something so big!” he stuttered. “And what if we get spotted?”

“Shush! We have the monster cards to protect us. It’ll be fine.”

“You really think monsters sealed for a children’s card game would be that strong?” nervous bandit asked.

“They’re strong because those greedy moneybags want them to function as bodyguards for their kids! Otherwise, who would let their children play cards so expensive?”

“If they’re willing to pay several gold for just a meal-“

“Yeah, whatever! I’ll try to unseal one of the cards…” the mace thrower said.

They literally have cards that sealed monsters? Yeah, just perfect. I was already injured from Minnie’s rampage and now this.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Mace thrower fiddled with a card for a while before it started to glow with blue light. He threw it away from him.

A huge crab as big as a car landed on the ground where he threw the card.

“Whoa!” the other bandits seemed amazed.

“We’ll destroy the vehicle, then make a run for it. He’ll come back with no idea what happened!” mace said.

Wait, what? Dammit!

They started attacking me first and now they wanted to enact ‘revenge’ on me? I can’t even escape because that stupid golem buried me!

“INITIATE SELF DESTRUCT! ONE! TWO!”

Wait, what? What the heck was Radio saying?

“Uh, shit…” it whispered. “FIVE!”

"What the heck?"

The bandits hurriedly backed away.

Radio? What the heck?

“Sorry, I panicked. Thought pretending would scare them away.”

…

“FOUR! THREE!”

I suddenly thought of a brilliant idea. What if I tried to eat the dirt away so I could drive out? Hurriedly, I started chomping on the soil. It tasted so disgusting that I wanted to hurl, but I continued.

“The ground is shaking!” they yelled.

After a few bites, I realised that I couldn’t really take proper bites due to my bumpers shape, so that wouldn't get me out. I sacrified my tastebuds for nothing...

Tablet! Is there anything you can do?

[I can do with you not bothering me.]

Come on! It'll be easy for you to defeat them, right?

It didn't answer. Why did that stupid tablet always have to be like it? Weren't we friends back on Earth?

Tsk. I guess there's only one last thing.

Radio, scream for Minnie to help!

"Ehhh?! Won't that blow our cover?"

Our cover will be blown in like a few seconds once they realise I'm not blowing up!

"Okay... MINNIE! HELP!"

"Eh?" nervous bandit was confused.

"Ah, I get it! The owner left, but there's still a golem core installed in it. And that voice... it's why they said there was a girl inside from the wanted poster!" mace bandit exclaimed.

Hey, don't assume I'm owned by Minnie!

"Pfft, tryng to trick us. Crab, destroy it before the owner comes back!" nervous pointed to where I was buried.

The crab scurried over me and stopped. It stood still and wiggled its eye-stalks as if confused.

"Idiot! Attack what is below!" mace shouted at it.

The crab made a weird angry bubbling noise, then slapped mace across the face with its pincer. To my shock, he wasn't sent flying, only having his face turned slightly! Who would have thought a crab would have so much control over its strength?

"Ow!"

"Brubrbrbrbbrb... brurbrbrbbr!" it bubbled.

"Urgh, sorry!" mace apologised with an angry look.

Satisfied, the crab went over and started digging above me. I guess it would be too good to be true for Minnie to just be lurking around here...

I decided to use telekinesis to punch the crab in one of its eyes.

"Aaaaarrbbbb!" it squeaked.

In fright, it retreated. Hah, my idea worked!

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?"

"Brbrbrbrbrbbrrrr!" the crab cried.

"Enough with the brrr brrrs! Get back to work!"

The crab frothed and went back to slapping.

"Ow! OW! Stop!"

As I watched, mildly amused, I heard the grass rustle from a different direction. I looked closely and saw foot shaped impressions in the grass approach. Wait, that had to be Minnie! I could help but feel relieved.

The invisible figure ran over towards mace. I heard a loud smack followed by a vague cracking sound as he fell down, unmoving. My goodness, did he just kill that bandit? Even for Minnie, that's a bit brutal, isn't it?

The bandits screamed, but one by one, they went down. Some of them tried to summon monsters with cards, but they failed. The crab ran away in fright.

"Minnie! Isn't that a bit... cruel?"

A strange raspy laugh sounded.

"I'm sorry to say this, buuut, I am not Minnie."

A strange golem materialised above me.