As I started to grow desperate from the constant attacks, the ground began to rumble slightly.

[Took long enough.]

Eh? What's happening?

Puzzled by the shaking as well, the mailman decided to stop punching me for a moment. I was really tempted to try to drive away immediately, but I was worried that would make him resume his beating.

A strange purple liquid seeped out of the ground. There was a little ball floating around in the centre for some reason.

The mailman seemed alarmed and shouted something.

"What? There's a slime outside?" Sheepy didn't translate. "He said, ahhh! A slime!"

What the heck is a slime? Whatever it was, it heading towards me slowly for some reason.

[Get away from it. It's dangerous.]

Huh? What can a little puddle like that do? 

But in any case, the mailman seemed fairly alarmed too so Tablet probably wasn't messing with me. I decided to drive away slowly.

"Don't run!" the mailman shouted.

"I can't run. I don't have legs." Radio said unenthusiastically.

Slowly, more and more puddles with orbs oozed out of the ground and started following me. They were in all sorts of colour, almost like a slimy rainbow! Kind of cute in a weird way actually. Except that some of them was melting the grass they slid over. Yikes... I guess that was what made them dangerous.

The mailman was still following, but he watched cautiously at the side.

[The slimes are attracted to the crystal. Use that to your advantage.]

Huh? Oh, so that's why they were after me. If they're dangerous, then... I can use them against the mailman!

What do you want me to do, throw the crystal at the mailman?

[Idiot! You think he's going to stand there and get hit?]

I was kidding.

Besides, even if it hit, it was probably just going to bounce off unless it was covered in glue. Not like I had any type of glue on me or anything.

Wait, what about the mailman's box? Did he happen to be delivering glue?

[You can't be serious.]

I ignored Tablet. From my inventory, I plopped the box onto my seats, undid the clasps that held it shut and looked inside expectantly.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

It was nothing but paper, just tons of slightly crumpled letters. I guess that would have been too good to be true...

"What about the slimes following us?" Radio suddenly said. "Their goop looks really sticky to me!"

[...]

[Really.]

"Yeah, it looks really sticky!"

"Hey! When are you giving me back my box?" the mailman interrupted.

[Do whatever you want.]

"Eh? Is something wrong?"

Tablet didn't answer. Probably just being a prick. I took a closer look at the slimes and some of them did indeed leave a sticky looking coating of goop on the grass.

Good idea, Radio!

"Thanks!"

One little green one seemed to be extremely sticky, with quite a lot of grass and dirt was sticking to it. If there was a slime perfect for the job, this one had to be it! As a bonus, it was one of the few slimes that didn't melt the grass behind it, so it seemed a lot safer anyway.

I slowed down a little more and used telekinesis to pull it closer and tried to put it into my inventory but unfortunately, that failed for some reason. Were they alive or something? I found previously that I couldn't put living things inside.

I decided to dab it onto the ground several times and collected the goop on the ground, which worked. Yes! Now I just had to cover the crystal in it and throw it at the mailman! I guess he would be fast enough to dodge it, but I figured if I started to drive at full speed again, he would try to stop me. That would be a good time to stick it onto him.

Sure enough, once I started to gain distance from the slimes, the mailman started to have confidence again! He zoomed in to stop me. Just as he grabbed onto my bumper, I dropped a portion of the slime onto his eyes to blind him.

"Ahhhh! What did you put on my eyes?" 

He reached for his eyes and tried to peel off the goo but to no avail. I quickly slathered the crystal in the rest of the slime and... where do I put it? I decided to slap it onto his face because he could take just take off his clothes otherwise.

"Mrrrffff! Mrrffff!"

I realised the crystal went over his mouth when I stuck it on. Okay, that was not intended.

The man clung onto my bumper tightly and refused to let go. Then he started punching me with the other hand while holding on.

[-1 -2 -2] 

This stupid mailman... he should have just given up earlier when I held his box hostage! That's it! I had enough.

I stopped and turned around, heading toward the chasing slimes. Looking around for a proper candidate, I saw a yellow one that was really nasty. It literally melted the dirt on its path into some sort of goop. Perfect.

I picked it up and stuck it onto his behind. The mailman paused for a moment, then let out muffled screeches of agony. Finally, he let go, falling to the ground. He got up quickly and ran into the distance with the yellow slime stuck to him and hundreds of slimes in pursuit.

I guess I should have felt bad, but for some reason I didn't. Probably because he started it. There was silence for a moment as I started to drive away from the scene as fast as possible.

"We did it!" Radio suddenly said.

It's thanks to your idea, Radio!

Radio seemed really happy.

[Unbelievable.]

Hmm? Tablet was finally letting out praise for the first time?

[I gave you the crystal to let you have slimes as pseudo bodyguards.]

[And when you got to safety, you would have the crystal.]

[Now look what happened. You wasted the crystal and now no longer have "guards".]

[If you continue to be so incompetant, this really will be the last time I decide to help you out.]

[Quest failed.]

Hey! If I didn't stop him, he could have kept following! And if I start driving fast, the slimes can't catch up and I'm open to his attacks again!

[Remember what you did earlier?]

Something smart?

[You could have used your telekinesis to throw the slimes at him directly. I have no idea why you decided to stick the crystal onto him.]

[Good luck if more powerful enemies follow the obvious tracks you are leaving on the grass.]

...

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!