Chapter 8
What happened on Earth
THE SU(Rest of title Obscured) - UK Newspaper - Date Obscured
Mysterious Lights Descend on London
Widely reported instances of strange light, noises, and visions have been reported by this newspaper as being part of a more significant attempt by Russia to attack our upcoming national election, but events overnight in London have us wondering… Has our water supply been contaminated with psychedelic drugs by some foreign power?
While many videos and clips shared on X(Formerly Twitter) and Youtube appear to show strange Men and Women riding down from the sky and landing on a London Street have been shared online, we here at the *** refuse to give such ridiculous claims any credence at all. It is all an obvious and transparent Deep Fake, and we will not rest until we have shown this nefarious plot for what it is.
THE DAILY MA(Obscured) - UK scandal rag - Date Obscured.
Chaos grips Britain!
Today, we bring you a stunning exclusive with the very first person to meet the new visitors flooding into Britain and other countries around the world from the very skies themselves.
Dave Murphy (34, Essex, UK) was the very first human to meet the new arrivals when the first of them touched down on a street in London, UK. He recounted the experience to one of our Veteran reporters from his hospital bed, where he is recovering bravely from the grievous wounds he sustained at the hands of his attacker.
“So, I was just mindin’ my own business, yeah?” Dave told us, “When this big bugger comes down right in the middle of the street on a bloody horse! Now, I know London is a bit mental, right? But this bloke was off his nut! He comes trotting over wearing a bloody dress and some kind of cosplay shi*t and says I’m his bloody long-lost cousin. Can you believe that?”
Our reporter was forced to leave the room shortly as a giant rat had emerged from the sewers down in the basement, and he bravely assisted in the defence of the hospital (photos on page 11). Dave survived, and we reconnected with him a couple of days later following the now infamous Night of the Moths.
“So, as I were sayin’. This nutter is claiming to be my family, and we got some funny buggers in our lot, but we ain’t takin’ the rap from some silly fu££er we just met wiv a horse and all that. So I tells ‘im to jog on, innit?” Dave said, “I mean, we are labor all the way, no chance we gettin’ lip from some posh git on a horse. Well, he gets all aggro, jumpin’ off ‘is nag and given’ it the big I am.” At this point, it was clear that Dave was still angry at his treatment at the hands of the invader, and there were several words we have felt it necessary to leave out, “Anyway, so’s I nut the prat and next thing you know ‘is bird has bloody slapped me across the street. I fu££ing flew I can tell you. I reckon she was one of ‘em transformers, ya know?”
So there we have it, good readers, conclusive proof that this latest group to invade Britain’s shores is little more than the latest wave of aggressive and criminal immigrants that have been flooding Britain for years. We approached the office of the Mayor of London for comment but were told the Mayor was eaten by his house cat, Oscar, in the early hours of yesterday morning.
Our thoughts and prayers are obviously with his friends and family at this difficult time.
The Birmingham Mail - UK Local paper - Date torn off.
Leveling Made Easy!
Read on for ten tips and tricks for leveling your new class in the most relaxed and danger-free ways, according to the extensive testing done at our very own university!
* Repetition is not your friend!
The testing we have done shows that while a single task may reward you greatly a single time, any repeats of the same task have greatly diminishing rewards. Our Top Tip: Complete any task at most 3 times.
* The risk is manageable!
Everyone knows that increased danger gives better rewards, but is it worth it? Our testing suggests not. Sure, killing a high-level Rat or House Cat will be a big reward, but so would three low-level ones!
Our Top Tip: Check your local markets for the newly discovered high-level and low-risk targets. A single kill on the harmless lvl 15 herbivorous flower is a lot safer bet than even a level 5 rat. It can’t hurt you!
* Two’s company, three’s a waste of exp!
The university tested teams of up to TEN members to see what the effect on shared experience was, and the results are in. While killing with a friend is definitely faster than solo, any more than two of you and the drop in individual rewards is just too much to make it worth the effort. So, unless you have a target-rich environment, grab your bestie and get out there!
Our Top Tip: Everyone is chasing those Healer classes, but let them pass you buy and get yourself a Tank! The damage you don’t take doesn’t need to be healed!
* Fight like a Brit!
While our American cousins struggle to adapt to the system’s hatred of firearms and their inability to scale, you and your family need to fight in the age-old British methods, with knives, swords, and good old-fashioned head-butt if needs be!
Our Top Tip: Reach is your friend. Strap a butcher knife to an old broom handle and keep your targets from ever getting in a hit!
* Cast on! Cast off
The mystery of spell….
THE (Missing)N - UK Newspaper - Fae-Day plus six months
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Not Fae-king it!
The government has officially lost its mind this week, with the first official Fae settlement given the nod of approval from the ever-useless Number 10 Downing Street.
The settlement, laughingly called an Embassy of the Summer Court, is closer to an actual city, just outside of London. We went in to have a look around, but we were at great personal risk. Everything was faked, with the tree-grown houses and idyllic streets full of merry people being something that was clearly inspired by the latest movies. Personally, the idea of these people being anything close to real did not even begin to enter our minds.
At least, not at first. Imagine our surprise to see a pair of them arguing and starting to fight. Here we go, I thought; the facade is cracking.
Nope, they kicked the crap out of each other like a couple of lads on a night out gone wrong before being dragged off to jail while the others jeered.
It was at that point that we had to wonder… Are the Fae British?
Instead of heading back, we hung around, getting plastered with the Fae, and I have to say it was the best night out I’ve had in a long time. More than anything, it was a very familiar scene as we all stumbled back to someone’s house the next morning to sleep it off. The houses might be made of trees, but those Fae party like true Londoners. Our colleagues up in Scotland report similar scenes up in the north as well, with more than a few scuffles breaking out between the Aberdeen locals and the Court of Autumn, with nothing worse than a usual night out reported as a result.
Hunting, drinking, fighting, and proud of where they come from?
I don’t know about you out there, but that sounds pretty damn British to me!
The Guard(torn off) - UK Newspaper - FDay +7 months.
Tensions erupt at the Great Grove!
The Welsh Parliment yesterday voted in favor of a motion to declare the Fae persona non grata on their land, citing ancient warnings in Welsh Folk Tales.
While the move has sparked widespread derision in certain circles, the world at large is paying more attention to the reaction of the Fae, who have promptly withdrawn from Welsh borders without so much as a formal complaint.
It has led others to ask if we really have to put up with the new arrivals.
The fact that the Fae seem willing to leave makes us wonder, what old tales of the Welsh do they fear?
While it is possible they simply respected the wishes of the Welsh parliament, many are asking if there is something they do not want others to ask about. Perhaps that prompt withdrawal was to prevent open discussion of Welsh worries?
If that is the case, the ruse has failed spectacularly. The sale of books and similar containing Welsh Folk tales has skyrocketed, and people around the world are asking if it was wise to really accept the help of the Fae when the magic returned to Earth.
Russia has already tabled a similar debate, as have many other countries, while the Fae Courts met at their capital city, The Great Grove, in a closed session from which many raised voices were heard.
With much more still to unfold, will we learn to see the Fae as something more sinister than the saviors with ever such good-looking men and women that they have so far seemed?
Soul Suckers! The truth about the Fae! - Pamphlet posted to everyone in the UK by person or persons unknown.
They come for your sons, your daughters, your wives, your husbands, and then they come for your very soul!
Awaken true sons and daughters of England!
The Pope, The Arch-Bishop of Canterbury, and Christian leaders around the world formally declared in a combined statement that the Fae were nothing more or less than the Demons of HELL. The END TIMES are upon us, and the truth has been shown to us all.
We have all seen the Whore of Babylon, in the guise of the fae temptresses, seduce away our loved sons and husbands, fathers and uncles while we fight to resist the fae defilers coming to steal the chastity and morals of our wives and daughters.
They promise everlasting life, eternal health, and more pleasures than we could ever have dreamed of, all while they drain our souls, twisting them away from the love of the ONE TRUE GOD!
While our politicians suckle at SATAN’S TEAT, we must rise against the threat ourselves as a new CRUSADE begins.
KILL THE FAE ON SIGHT!
RETURN TO GOD!
FIGHT FOR YOUR SOUL!
FIGHT FOR YOUR FAMILY!
UNKNOWN - Excerpt from unknown newspaper - unknown date
Ireland Lost Beneath The Waves
In the latest ‘retaliatory’ attacks by the Fae, the entire Irish landmass was submerged beneath the waves, with the loss of millions of lives. The official report from the Court of Summer lists the island as ‘Moved offshore’, but there is no confirmation of life. Spotters on the coast reported the island there one moment and gone the next, with the sea rushing into the gap.
The UK WARTIME ADMINISTRATION has listed the island as lost in the war with the Fae, and the population is listed as KIA. The Fae forces currently pushed north of Hadrian’s wall, are expected to attempt to retake parts of northern England in the coming days following the failed nuclear strike by the RUSSIAN PEOPLES ARMY in Siberia. The weapon is confirmed to have hit the Fae base, but there was no detonation. This follows similar failures in China and the land formerly known as America.
Following the collapse of Washington D.C., the land was feared lost, but recent contacts in South America suggest that the Texan and Mexican forces have united. Both forces contain large numbers of the very powerful and rare ARMORED COWBOY class, and they are expected to make rapid progress in an attempt to join up with the NYC Irregulars.
PEACE TALKS! - Unknown - Unknown
The Fae Courts sue for Peace.
Disaster in the peace talks today when the Fae delegates attempted to prove their claim of the Summerlands for all when they brought out the dead relatives of the representatives of the Mexican-American Alliance and the UKWA delegates.
Despite protestations of them being real and several attempts to calm things down, several of the supposed relatives were killed by the representatives, leading to talks being called off!
A statement from the Courts of the Fae is to be released shortly.
The Courts Await You In The Summerlands! - leaflet that rained from the sky worldwide.
The Lords and Ladies of the Summer and Winter courts have voted to abandon Earth immediately. All Fae have been ordered to remove themselves from the planet within the next solar day.
We came in Peace, but you did not want us here. We have tried to reason with you, and you have refused us multiple times. The planet is yours, as it always has been. We are leaving, and much joy in your ‘victory’ is all we hope for you!
We will simply see you again in the Summerlands, where, with the evidence in front of you, we hope you will be more reasonable!
The Lady of the Court of Winter Leaves You A Parting Gift! - note found nailed to every tree in the world. - Date unknown.
Dear Humans,
You have insulted, killed, and refused me and my people since your insane old men decided we must be a threat to your souls, which are identical to ours, by the way. As such, I respect the decision of the cowardly and soft-hearted Lords and Ladies of the other Courts.
You refused to share your lands with us, claiming there was no room, so I shall leave you with more of it! In two days' time, Earth will increase in size five times.
Best of luck, and I hope you die painfully before coming begging on your FUCKING KNEES for my benevolent forgiveness.
I have also refused to allow the Fae who have returned to us from your bastard race to return to the Summerlands with us, so I leave you in their tender care.
Fuck the lot of you,
Lady of Autumn.
All Fae are to return to the Den! - Leaflet handed out in the Midlands, Former UK, to all travelers on entry
All Fae left behind in the Midlands are to present themselves to the Queen of Beasts immediately upon entering her lands.
All Half-Fae are to be killed on sight if within the Queen’s Borders.
All Humans are to be considered free game, to be hunted as the visiting or occupant Fae desire.
Remember your Place in my lands!
By the Order of the Queen of Beasts, Gwen Hudson, Lady in Exile of the Court of Travelling Lands.
The scraps of knowledge settled into Bert’s brain slowly as he fled the rapidly collapsing tunnel, with the final note arriving in his brain just as he was standing up and dusting his hands off.
“Ah, for fucks’ sake!” Bert growled. “This is all I need!”