“So, they are really like that?” Lyra asked for what felt like the fifteenth time since Gavin had started to explain life aboard the Waystation to her. “They just accept people?”

“Aye, lassie,” Gavin said in a slightly irritated voice. “I’d no say it otherwise.”

“And you were really adopted by a bear?” She asked.

“A Gaint Sloth Bear, aye,” Gavin said defensively. “And I’ll no hear a bad word against my Ma! I mean my beastie!” He blushed and kicked a stone, which Daftie immediately pounced on and ate. “Will ya look at it? Eating rocks!” He waved at Daftie, who stuck out a long pink tongue and darted away. “Slothy’ll tan me hide if she sees that!”

The pair had been walking for hours, and so far, they had been attacked three times since the bug. The first had been a small party of goblins who had run into the clearing, screaming and trying to stab everyone. The Tumble-More’s had just opened their mouths and rushed forward.

It was a short and brutal mess, but it was why both of the little fluff balls were currently a nice forestry green.

The second attack was another giant insect, a Carnivorous Glowbug. It had not even made it across the clearing before Lyra pulled her bow across the fiddle, the sound cutting the creature apart mid-air.

Gavin was so impressed he was too slow to stop Bawbag from eating the glowing creature. As a result, it now looked like a fuzzy Christmas light in bright green as they held onto Gavin’s hand and occasionally shouted ‘Baws!’ at the forest at large.

The third attacker they never even got to see. Something had crashed towards them, only to die screaming as the little fluffballs with teeth intercepted it behind a tree.

“Are you no cold?” Gavin asked as they set up camp for the night. It had been bothering him all day. He was cold, even in all his armor, and her skin was shading more towards blue than grey as the day went on.

“Honestly?” She asked. “I’m freezing,” Lyra shrugged. “When you are a half-elf, you better look cute, not threatening. So I dress like this, and people at least don’t try and kill me.”

“Tha’s daft,” Gavin shook his head.

“What?” She rounded on him.

“Aye, daft.” He waved at her. “Ye can’t be worrying about wha’ others think.”

“If I didn’t, I’d die,” Lyra hissed. “We don’t all have a Waystation to protect us.”

Gavin grumbled but kept his opinions to himself. Open mouth, insert foot again. He wished Lily was here. She would know what to say.

He pulled out his bedding roll and placed it next to the fire.

“There ya go, get some sleep in that. It’ll be warm,” He said, trying not to look at Lyra.

“What about you?” She asked. “I don’t need charity, you know.”

“Isnae charity,” Gavin grumbled. “A frozen Bard will be no help, ya ken?”

“Do you have one?” She asked, pointing to the bedding.

“Aye, of course,” Gavin lied.

That ended the conversation, and Gavin kept the fire going as he sat and grumbled to himself. After a while, Daftie and Bawbag came over and cuddled up to him. They warmed him up, and with the fire, he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Gavin woke at sunrise. He didn’t have a choice, having fallen asleep leaning on Daftie, who had just woken up and wandered off, leaving Gavin to faceplant into the icy ground.

He quickly got a fire going, and it was blazing merrily by the time the Bard woke up. She shivered as she got out of the bedding roll but refused his offer to sleep in for a while.

“We better just keep moving,” She huffed on her hands to warm them up. “We’ll warm up as we walk.”

“At least let's have some scran!” Gavin insisted, pulling a pair of plates of eggs and bacon from his storage. They were as hot as the moment they were cooked, and the smell filled the clearing. Lyra hesitated but nodded and took a plate as the Tumble-Mores crashed into the clearing, drooling at the smell of food.

“Alright, ya little bastards! Wait! Wait!” He managed to get another pair of plates out and put them down on a log for the furballs to eat. “No! No! Ya dunnae eat the plates! Aw, fuck, man! We coulda reused them!”

Lyra laughed as Gavin fought to keep his own plate out of reach. In the end, he managed to get his food down, causing Bawbag to burst into tears immediately.

“Nae, man! Stop that!” Gavin patted the little fluff ball. In the end, he gave it his plate to eat, which made it happy.

“They are kind of amazing,” Lyra said shyly as Bawbag crunched up the plate with every sign of enjoyment.

“Would you believe a dozen more of these are back at the Waystation?” Gavin laughed. “I’ve no idea how they haven’t eaten the place already!”

They both laughed as they set out again.

==========

Bert’s bruises were rapidly fading as the dents in the wall fixed themselves. Bell was still fuming, but at least she had stopped trying to kick his head in.

“Were they cute?” Bell asked.

“More hopeless,” Bert said. “And freezing.”

“You didn’t?” She sniffled, “Promise?”

“Promise,” Bert snapped. “I’d never do that, Bell. Fuck sake.”

“Oh, don’t you DARE take a tone with me, mister!” Bell snapped back. “I’m not the one going off to brothels!”

“I didn’t go to a brothel!” Bert growled. “I went to do a quest that I WAS NOT TOLD was in a brothel!”

“You just happened to go on that one quest without me?” Bell growled. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Bert!”

“Hey,” Bert held up his hands, “We already did this, let’s not fight.”

“THEN DON’T SNAP AT ME!” She roared in his face.

Bert swallowed.

“Bell, you know I’d never do that to you, right?” He asked, trying not to be hurt by her accusations.

“Well,” She shrugged and took a deep breath, “No. I know you wouldn’t. I just saw that thing and lost it for a second.” She pointed at the shredded T-shirt lying on the floor.

“One day, I’ll figure out to pay Dagon back for that,” Bert promised. “Next time, try talking to me, not just attacking, okay?”

“Promise,” Bell said with a smile, wiping her eyes and sniffing.

It was almost a sweet moment…

“YOU WENT TO A BROTHEL!” Wendy slammed to door open, face red with rage. “DAD!”

“Wait, wait, wait! I can explain!” He tried but was too slow.

Wendy was really getting fast.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

As his head bounced off the wall, he really wished pixies had less of a hair-trigger temper.

==========

“Goblins,” Gavin sighed, “Why’d it hae to be goblins?”

He was lying down on the top of a rock as the little green buggers scampered back and forth, chattering and screeching at each other.

“Technically, what we want is down there,” Lyra pointed out the small hole in the earth just off-center in the ring of crude huts and stinking cooking fires. “The goblins don’t seem to really pay attention to it.”

“Aye, we’ll just stroll in then, shall we?” Gavin asked tartly. “Oh, excuse me, Mister Goblin Stabber! Pardon me, Miss Goblin Sapper, we’ll just be on our way down tha’ hole there. Oh, what's that? Oh, a dagger in me guts, so kind of…” He stopped as Lyra started to growl slightly. “Ya get me point, aye?”

“I was just saying!” Lyra hissed, “Maybe we can just scare them off!”

“How?” Gavin hissed back, “Introduce ‘em to your playin? Ya do play that, aye? It wasn’t just the once back there, was it?”

“Go fuck yourself, short-arse!” Lyra snapped back. “You’re no bloody warrior! Your ‘weans’ do all your fighting for you!”

“Oh, height jokes, is it?” Gavin yelled back. “Ya lanky, tone-deaf bitch!”

“Bawbag!” Bawbag yelled, joining in.

Daftie belched hugely.

Gavin and Lyra leaned back, slowly realizing they were supposed to be hiding.

As one, they all turned to look over at the goblin village from their perch up on the rock.

Two dozen pairs of red eyes were fixed on them

“Daftie!” Daftie yelled as loud as he could.

All hell broke loose.

Crude arrows broke against the strains of Lyra’s fiddle as she roared, her teeth and ears growing as she played. Her hair lifted and floated in unseen winds as she played faster and faster.

Gavin stared as she heaved in a deep breath.

“DO SOMETHING YOU LITTLE PRICK!” She bellowed at him.

“Oh, Aye!” He rolled his shoulders and grabbed two axes off his belt. His new axe was still strapped to his back, but he wouldn’t sully it for goblins. The two sky-metal axes glinted in the sun as he roared and leaped clear into the village, bowling over those around him as he landed like a meteor. “Come and ge’ it, ya ugly bastards! Yaaaah!”

While Gavin spun and hacked at the goblins as they rushed toward him, two rolling balls of fluffy unfolded into Daftie and Bawbag. Daftie was snapping his mouth closed, swallowing half a goblin with each bite as Bawbag spit great globs of phlegm at the goblins.

“Tha’s it, boyo!” Gavin laughed, “Let’s ge’ ‘em a taste of it!”

Through it all, the fiddle music wound between and around them, cutting arrows and even the occasional spell out of the air.

But no one is perfect, not even a half-elven Bard. One of the shamans managed to launch a ball of crackling green fire at Gavin, who was too busy fighting to notice.

Lyra tried to shout a warning, but Gavin was too slow.

He turned in time to see the fireball inches from his face.

Bawbag leaped, snapping his mouth closed around the fireball with a yelp of pain.

“Bawbag!” Gavin roared. “No!”

All the fury and anger he had held in check all those years, all that frustration at the kicks, the insults, and more, all burst as he saw his little buddy fall limply to the floor.

Class Evolution!

Dwarven Warrior - to - Faeborn Beserker

Gavin’s roar split the heavens like a rolling peal of thunder as he swelled to three times his normal size, fae fire burning in his eyes as all thought stopped. The sky metal axes melted in his hands, replaced by giant axes made of Fae light.

“YOU’LL NO TOUCH ME BAWBAG!”

Gavin cut a path of destruction through the panicked goblins, each strike cleaving them in half as he charged toward the terrified shamans huddling on the village's far side.

His mind blanked in rage; Gavin never saw the shaking form of Bawbag burst into green fire as it climbed to its stubby feet. Lyra’s playing hitched and flattered as the green fire burned away, replaced by the flickering fae flames burning in Gavin’s eyes.

Gavin never got to the Shamans; Bawbag shot past him, hissing and crackling as he shot forward like a bullet.

Fae Fire exploded where he stopped, leaving nothing but charred corpses of the shamans behind.

Lyra played haltingly as the three siblings tore the village apart.

Gavin’s rage only faded as he beat the last goblin into a paste using the dead bodies of the previous goblins.

Collapsing to his knees and panting, Gavin looked around desperately.

“Daftie! Bawbag!” He called, “Where are ya?”

A faintly glowing ball of blue fur hid him in the chest and started to lick his face.

“Bawbag! Is that you, little’un?” He laughed as he hugged the Tumble-More to his chest. “Aww, there’s a good Bawbag! I thought I’d lost ya!” He laughed.

A loud burp and a splattering sound drew Gavin to Daftie. He was eating his way through what passed for food supplies for goblins.

“Daftie! No!” Gavin pulled him away from the rancid food while Daftie whined and scrambled to get at it again. “No! Back, Daftie! Back!”

A soft cough from behind reminded him that Lyra was still there.

“Are you alright?” Gavin asked. “They didnae get ya, did they?”

“Um, I’m fine.” She said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “What happened?”

“Oh! I just evolved my class, is all,” Gavin said proudly. “Nae bother.”

Lyra gaped. “Just like that?”

“Och, aye!” Gavin said as if it was nothing. Inside, he was almost dancing with joy. Not only an evolution but a Fae one! “Happens all the time to us Fae types.”

Lyra’s look suggested she wasn’t buying it but was going to let it pass.

For now.

Everything was a bit awkward as they cleared the goblin camp. Neither of them brought up the argument, but they both kept shooting glances at the other when they thought no one would see.

It was a pitiful haul, goblins not being much use as far as loot went.

Still, Gavin thought, at least they now had a safe entrance to whatever was going on below.

They gathered around the hole, peering in suspiciously, and Gavin finally gave in.

“Sorry, I called ya tone deaf,” he muttered to Lyra while fiddling with his axe. “I actually really like your playing.”

Lyra ignored him.

“I do, really,” Gavin said a little louder.

“Gavin,” She called, and he turned to see her very close to him, her eyes fixed on his. He caught his breath as she leaned in.

“Aye?” He said breathlessly as she leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“GET FUCKED!” She roared in his ear, causing him to jerk backward and fall into the hole.

Darkness closed around him as he fell.

He bounced off earthen walls and rocks as he rolled and thudded down the shaft and into the earth. As he fell, a blue glow was seen out the corner of his eye, suggesting Bawbag had followed him in.

The dwarf landed flat on his back, the breath knocked out of him, and groaned. A fluffy blue ball bounced off his stomach a moment later.

Gavin was almost to his feet when the now much heavier Daftie landed on him, sending him back to the floor as it burped hugely.

He groaned as he rolled away from the hole just before the half-elf touched down lightly as if lowered on a breeze.

“Okay, that was petty,” Lyra admitted as Gavin growled and grabbed his axe. “I may have overreacted.”

“It’s nae your fault, lass,” Gavin said as he started to grow, fires starting to flash in his eyes. “It’s the height. Makes people all messed in the head.” He growled. “Come ‘ere and let me shorten you a tad!”

“Now, now!” Lyra smiled desperately. “I will admit I should have accepted your apology! Let’s not let things get out of hand!”

“Don’t ye worry,” Gavin laughed. “I’ll no take things tae far. Just a little off the top!”

“Could you reach, Tiny?” She roared back before slapping a hand over her mouth.

Gavin felt the fury rip through him again, and if it wasn’t for the spiders, might have done something he would have regretted.

So, for possibly the first time ever, the giant spider that crawled into the room was actually a welcome sight.

Gavin roared and leaped over the half-elf, kicking aside the giant mandible that was about to snap closed on her neck.

Lyra shrieked and kicked off, floating across the room as she began to play a slow and sickly song.

The spider faltered, seeming to be moving in molasses as Gavin’s flaming axes cut burning lines into its face. Gavin kicked off the floor, looking to slam down on the massive back of the creature, only to be flung away by one massive leg.

He bounced off the wall and charged, screaming back towards the spider.

It screeched, several more spiders crawling from beneath it. Each one was the size of a small car, and they moved fast despite the slowing effect Lyra was casting.

Bawbag burst into flame and rocketed forward, a massive detonation coming as he collided with the fastest spiders. The fire spread, consuming the spiders as Bawbag pinballed between them like a demented arsonist, the occasional explosion as they were forced to stop.

Still, the spiders came, more and more smaller ones swarming the cavern as the Queen dueled with the ever-angrier dwarf.

Gavin slammed his axes together, the fae-light merging into a massive halberd as he sliced a leg off the queen. Fire was starting to catch on her body as they battled, the room a swirl of shadows as Bawbag continued to dart around.

Lyra found herself pressed against the wall as the smaller spiders, each the size of a small dog, crowded around her.

She fought to keep her elven anger in check as Daftie ate and smashed the spiders away from her.

Gavin had saved her, even as she insulted him.

HOW DARE HE!

Her own anger broke through her control, and her fiddle song changed. The strings on the bow smoked as a terrible melody of fierce speed assaulted the cavern. The air shimmered as blades of light erupted from the fiddle, dicing apart the smaller spiders as Lyra began to howl the blood call of her people.

The Queen lay dead, her spiders crisped and smoking around her. Gavin climbed his way out from the massive hole he had been forced to carve in her to bring her down finally.

His eyes were still burning, and he was massive as he faced down the furious Bard.

“Well?” He asked.

“Bring it on, you little fucker!” She roared up at him, and Gavin charged as she began to play again.