“Will you watch the road?” Scruff squeaked as Wendy rummaged in the cabin’s storage.

“I am,” She laughed. “I can see out of the Express at all times. Remember?”

“Still, though,” Scruff huffed. “It’s just creepy watching this thing drive itself.”

Wendy laughed and winked at Scruff before closing her eyes and humming as the Express accelerated through the Grasslands.

“Fuck sake!” Scruff grabbed onto the dashboard and braced her legs. “Why?”

Wendy giggled, “You sound just like Dad!”

“Well, he is quite high-pitched when he screams.” Scruff chuckled to herself.

“Right?” Wendy put her feet up on the dash and stretched.

“Open your fucking eyes!” Scruff yelped as a thump and a wash of blood announced the death of another Giant Tic.

The Grasslands had once been full of the things, but the last trip by the Waystation had thinned the numbers out a lot. So far, they had only encountered around a dozen of the things. And they had been here for hours.

“I think the Tics are avoiding us,” She huffed.

“Good!” Scruff shivered. “If I never see another one of them, it will be too soon.”

“I dunno,” Wendy said, “They are kind of fun when they go squish.”

“That’s just weird,” Scruff said.

“Says the girl who grows killer plants as a profession.” Wendy nudged her.

“It’s not my profession!” Scruff objected. “I’m a farmer. I just happen to specialize in slightly aggressive crops.”

Wendy turned the Express, diving off into the deeper grass for a moment before returning to the vast, flattened path made by the Waystation.

A new splatter of blood covered the windscreen.

“Got it!” Wendy crowed as Scruff tried not to throw up.

“Oh gods, you drive worse than your Mum,” Scruff gasped.

“Ha Ha, Funny human!” Wendy deadpanned.

“Drive?” The question came from the pile of bones shoved into a box on one of the seats.

“No, Tim,” Scruff said. “You’re having a nap, remember?”

“Nap!” Tim said excitedly.

“That’s right, nap,” Scruff said.

“Does he even sleep?” Wendy asked.

“Bud said to make sure he took regular naps.” Scruff shrugged.

They chatted away as the Grasslands flew by. Without the constant attacks, it was actually quite beautiful as the grass fronds waved in the breeze. As the day passed, the light turned it from green to tan and then a fiery red as the light caught the stalks.

Tim was highly enthusiastic after his nap and ended up crawling onto the roof and sitting in the ballista, spinning it at dizzying speeds while laughing. Wendy was just grateful for the constant awareness of everything in the Express that let her keep an eye on him.

She drove on through the night, Tim chatting away beside her as Scruff slept on the shelf-like bed at the back of the cabin. Being a Pixie was great. She didn’t even need to sleep…

“Wendy!” Scruff yelled in her ear, making her jump.

“What?” She asked, seeing nothing but darkness around the Express.

“You fell asleep while driving!” Scruff said, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, did I?” She blushed. “Oops.”

Well, she guessed she did need to sleep occasionally.

“Where’s Tim?” She asked, suddenly realizing she couldn’t sense him.

“He just stepped out for a minute?” Scruff tried.

“Scruff!” Wendy said warningly.

“Tim’s just getting me some grass!” Scruff said. “I told him not to go far.”

It was a tense few minutes before the little skeleton appeared in the Express’ headlights, arms full of dirt and grass. Wendy opened the cab door, and he hopped in, dropping the whole mass of dirt and plant matter on Scruff’s lap.

“Thanks, Tim!” Scruff patted him on the head. “You’re the best!”

Tim preened.

Wendy gave Scruff a meaningful look.

Scruff looked apologetic and fluttered her eyelashes at Wendy.

Wendy tried to hide her smile as she got the Express moving again.

===========

The Scrublands were a new experience for Wendy. She had knowledge of them from when she was a Multi-Bell but had never actually been there. She oohed and aahed as they drove past familiar landmarks she had never actually seen before.

The Deja Vu was strong, but at least she knew why. Scruff just laughed at her. Eventually, they came to the hole in the ground where Tim came from. Tim got quiet momentarily, and they asked him what was wrong. He pointed to the ruined cart and shivered.

Wendy drove over it, and he giggled.

She drove over it again, and Tim whooped.

He hung out the window as they drove away and chattered at the remains.

“So, anywhere you want to go?” Wendy asked. “We might as well turn this into a farewell tour just in case the Waystation doesn’t come back this way again.”

“No, I’m good,” Scruff said happily. “Bert and Bell flattened the only place I really hated.”

“Family trait, I guess,” Wendy said as she smiled.

“You know that is probably not a good thing, right?” Scruff said thoughtfully.

“Eh, I am what I am.”

“Anywhere you want to go?” Scruff asked.

“Oh, we are already headed there.” Wendy grinned.

“Of course we are,” Scruff said. “Care to share?”

“The City of the Dead!” Wendy said. “A whole city of undead! It sounds so cool.”

“It’s actually pretty cool, yeah.” Scruff agreed. “We can go to Nadine’s…” She trailed off. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay!” Wendy said woodenly. “I’m bound to this vehicle; it’s okay.”

They sat in awkward silence for a bit. Fortunately, they got distracted before it turned really awkward.

“That wasn’t there before,” Scruff pointed at the strange obelisk by the side of the road.

“Is that a sign?” Wendy asked.

“It’s something,” Scruff said.

The Express came to a stop next to the strange object. Wood and stone were wound together in a complex pattern of interconnected circles. At the top, they formed an arrow pointing into the woods. Colored stones formed the letters of the sign.

Sanctuary of the People

“Isn’t that pointing towards that weird Cult place?” Scruff asked.

“I reckon so,” Wendy looked off into the distance.

“Is it weird? Remembering things you weren’t actually there for, I mean?” Scruff asked.

“I wouldn’t know,” Wendy shrugged. “It’s the only way I’ve ever been.”

“I guess.” Scruff looked at the strange obelisk again. “Want to go have a look?”

“Why not,” Wendy said, spinning the Express to follow the arrow. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

The path was pretty beaten down but nowhere near wide enough for the Express. Not that it mattered much to the enormous machine. The Express had been designed originally from the idea of a Garbage Truck. But Bert had gotten carried away, with the result being something like the Humvee version of a Garbage Truck on steroids that had swapped its wheels for the treads of several tanks.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

In short, there was not much that could stop it.

When the vehicle edged its way into the clearing, Scruff hopped out and looked around.

Tim took the opportunity to climb onto the roof and get in the seat of the Balista that stood proudly from the roof of the mighty vehicle. It had a spinning mount that let it shoot in any direction, making it very fun for the little skeleton.

Scruff let her senses as a Farmer expand, feeling the plants in the area well-fed and healthy while the earth beneath her feet felt compact but well-nourished.

There seemed to be an unusually high level of minerals in the soil, and she wondered why as she approached a broad flat stone next to a small shed.

“Welcome, Scruff of the Waystation.” A voice called.

Scruff turned, seeing a figure moving through the forest towards her. The shape was wrong, and she seemed to move unnaturally. Unless she was walking on some platform that Scruff couldn’t see… that woman was over eleven feet tall.

The figure stepped into the light of the clearing, and Scruff swallowed.

The face was Martha, but the rest…

Long spindly legs reached up over seven feet before they met flesh. They were a mix of wood and stone that moved with a grinding noise like an old mill grinding gravel to dust.

Long tendrils, like vines, sprouted from under her ribcage and moved in a constant, uncertain, jerky way.

Despite their stone and wood construction, the arms were worse, with an elongated grace. Large claws decorated one hand while the other seemed almost human, with the skin appearing stretched to just short of breaking point.

A strange cloth was wrapped over what skin was human. It was grey and almost unpatterned. The whole effect was distinctly inhuman.

“Have you come to join us, child?” Martha asked.

“No, just saw your sign and came by to see what it was about.” Scruff shrugged in what she hoped was a relaxed fashion while she tried to figure out how fast she could get back to the Express.

“And Bert, is the Bestower with you?” She craned her neck, searching the forest around the Express.

“Oh, you know.” Scruff said lightly, “He’s never far away.”

“Liar,” Martha said simply.

Scruff swallowed, her mouth dry.

“And who is the new girl? Would she care to join the People?” Martha asked, stepping further from the woods.

“Wendy?” Scruff asked. “I doubt it.” She called over her shoulder while keeping her eyes on Martha. “Want to join a cult, Wendy?”

“No, thanks!” Wendy laughed as she waved out the window. “Especially if I end up looking like that!”

Scruff winced but did her best to ignore the comment.

“Who is she?” Martha asked, “Some new lost child in need of help. Yes, I think she would do well here.”

“She’s Fae.” Scruff said firmly. “She is not capable of joining… whatever you call yourselves.”

“Where is Bert?” Martha asked again. “Does he know you are here?” She took a step forward, the sharp points on the end of her legs stabbing into the earth.

“Of course he does,” Scruff grinned. “Why?”

“Then he will know where to come and collect you!” Martha leaped forward, long legs shooting her into the air as she reached for Scruff.

A Ballista bolt slammed into her chest, spinning her off target.

“Fuck!” Scruff sprinted back to the Express, pulling herself into the cab and slamming the door.

“Time to go!” Wendy said brightly, slamming both levers into reverse.

Tim shouted from the top of the Express, another bolt firing into the forest, hitting something that screamed with a very human-sounding cry of pain.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Scruff kept saying.

“We’re fine,” Wendy said as she spun the Express on the spot before charging ahead through the forest.

There were a few more ballista bolts from on top and a couple of wet thumps beneath the cab, and then they were speeding away over the open grounds, away from the city of the People, and towards the gorge that would lead them to the City of the Dead.

“What the fuck was that about?” Wendy asked Scruff as they moved away.

“No idea,” Scruff shook her head. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

==============

As the Express moved into the gorge, they could tell something was wrong. There was just a feeling in the air, a tension they could not quite place. The only sign of problems they could see was a series of markings on the walls. They almost looked like someone had been trying to force something into the hard rock on either side of the gorge.

“Get Tim in,” Scruff said. “I don’t like how this feels.”

“TIM!” Wendy screamed at the top of her lungs. “NAPTIME!”

“I could have done that,” Scruff pointed out.

“Well, you get all touchy if I go up top while I’m driving.” Wendy laughed, remembering Scruff freaking out when she went up top to get some sun just after they left the Grasslands.

“I’m not used to the person driving suddenly climbing out the window!” Scruff protested.

“Adapt, Farmer Girl!” Wendy winked at her, and Scruff blushed.

The netting was stretched across the narrowest point in the gorge, a place where an old rockfall had slightly narrowed the pass while at the same time providing a softer place to drive in spikes.

It was not the most intimidating trap, even with people standing in front of it.

A giant of a woman took center stage with rock and metal rippling where her arms used to be. As the Express approached, the woman strode forward on thick wooden legs, leaned down, and formed a shield with her massive arms.

A lithe man rose up behind her, supported on twisted vines as a set of vines that sprouted from his back flashed a set of spikes. Two larger ones were held in his hands, like short swords.

The last member of the little trio was a squat man with long wooden poles sprouting from his back like a hedgehog. He grinned at the approaching express and pulled one from his back, revealing a long sharp point.

“It’s a trap!” Scruff yelled as she scrambled to grab some of her plants from their pots along the back of the cabin.

“That’s not a trap,” Wendy grinned.

The Express shot forward; there was a series of thumps, a dying scream, and the sound of vines snapping under tremendous pressure… and they were through.

“That’s a speed bump!” Wendy whooped out the window and patted the Express.

“Fucking Hell!” Scruff squeaked as she scrambled back into her chair.

A rock-covered hand reached up from below the windscreen, and both girls screamed in shock.

Wendy pressed her feet on the pedals; the large mandibles slid out of the Express and slammed closed on the rock and metal-covered human. There was a moment of resistance… then blood fountained as the remains were drawn in to be processed by the Express’ Core.

Tim clattered excitedly as he applauded from the seat behind Wendy.

“Again?” he asked.

“Again?” Wendy seconded.

“Fuck sake, Wendy!” Scruff huffed as the Express rolled across the giant bridge and into sight of the City of the Dead.

There were no further problems as they rolled through the gorge and along the winding road that led to the City of the Dead. To their surprise, the Express must have been recognized as the giant gates opened at their approach, and they were able to drive straight inside.

Their first stop had to be the Lord of the Dead, or as the Waystationers called the Lich King… Percy.

“I won’t be long, promise.” Scruff called as she and Tim leaped down from the vehicle and started up the stairs to the mansion that served as Percy’s workshop.

Wendy waved them off and sat with her legs hanging out the door as they walked away. She spent a few minutes mentally checking over the Express. There were a few dents in the front that she repaired by funneling some mana into them.

Once the huge vehicle was shining and blemish-free, Wendy watched the city move around her.

One of the great differences in a City of the Dead had been the lack of food stalls. The Waystation and Scruff had completely destroyed that. Thanks to the special crops that were stuffed with life and death mana, the food industry in the City was booming once more. Almost every corner had someone selling some form of street food.

Wendy waved one of them over, recognizing the shape of tacos being sold by the vendor. They tried to warn her against eating one, as it was intended for the undead, after all. She laughed that off and insisted she wanted one.

They looked incredible, featuring sun-dried blood berries, a fried tuber of some kind, and a meat she had never seen before.

“What kind of meat is it?” She asked.

“I think you would rather not know.” The undead vendor looked shifty. “And again, I suggest you don’t eat one.”

“Is it human?” She asked bluntly.

“Well….” The vendor hedged.

“It is from a flesh farm,” A voice called.

A robed figure came down the stairs, Scruff striding along next to him, while Tim looked on in awe.

“Flesh farm?” Wendy asked.

“It’s so cool!” Scruff said, “They grow muscles and stuff in these large vats that Percy came up with.”

“Aww, I want to see!” Wendy complained.

The vendor just stared.

“What kind of flesh is it, though?” Wendy asked again.

“At the moment, we only have samples of human flesh, but we hope to expand if we can get some other samples.”

“Do they need to be alive?” Wendy asked curiously.

“Most definitely not.” Percy chuckled.

“Great!” Wendy rubbed her hands together. “What can you give me for three complete Armored Bison, two Six-Legged Deer, and a sample of Fae?”

“Wait, what?” Scruff goggled at her.

“I can spare a little muscle. I heal quickly.” Wendy grinned. “If the price is right.”

“I am sure we can come to a good deal.” Percy nodded.

“Your Mum is going to kill you.” Scruff sighed as they drove away from Percy’s and towards Nadine’s.

“Not if she never finds out about it,” Wendy said, winking again. She loved seeing Scruff blush every time she did.

“Telling!” Tim said happily from behind her.

“Tim!” Both girls said, shocked.

“Bud said. Tell everything when get back. Telling.” Tim clacked his jaw happily.

“Sneaky bastard!” Wendy said.

“Telling that too,” Tim said.

“Someone seems much better at Common all of a sudden.” Scruff eyed Tim suspiciously.

“Fnargle?” Tim said innocently.

Wendy laughed as they pulled into the closest square to Nadine’s. It was as close as the express could get.

“Well, shit.” Scruff grumbled.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Wendy said. “I have business to do with Percy anyway.”

“What is he paying you, by the way?” Scruff asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Wendy grinned.

“Boo!” Tim called. “Tell Tim and Scruff!”

“It’s a surprise!” Wendy laughed. “Off you two go.”

===========

Scruff pushed the door to Nadine’s open with a hint of trepidation. The Banshee that ran the place saw much more than most people, and it made Scruff nervous. A few years on the streets had made her comfortable with being the one working an angle and seeing through people but extremely uncomfortable with being seen through.

Not that Nadine was bad. She had actually been trying to be helpful.

Scruff grinned to herself. Bert was right; she had to adapt to being able to trust people.

“Boss!” A giant undead tackled her to the ground.

Vines burst from her backpack, wrapping around the figure and throwing them back as more wound around her, lifting her into the air as a series of razor-sharp steel vines wrapped her knuckles.

She drew back a fist and launched herself at the attacker…

“Bouncer! What have you done now?” Nadine called from the back.

Scruff stopped, her razor-clad fist inches from the cowering form’s face.

“Bouncer?” She asked.

“Sorry, Boss!” He yelped and tried to free himself.

She pulled her plants back.

“How?” She asked.

The last time she had seen bouncer had only been weeks ago; he was a child. Not the massive, lumbering, muscle-clad undead before her.

“He spent all his profits at the Flesh Shapers,” Nadine said with a smile in her voice.

“How much did he make in a few weeks?” Scruff asked.

“Lots!” Bouncer grinned. The floor groaned as he bounced from foot to foot.

“Did you save anything?” Scruff asked, looking him up and down.

“Yeah!” He said defensively. “I saved the best seeds.”

“Good lad,” Scruff smiled at him, and he beamed at her.

“The plants matter; everything else is just compost waiting to happen!” He quoted.

“I swear if I hear that one more time, I’m going to lose my mind.” Nadine chuckled. “Nice to see you again, Farmer Scruff.”

“You too, Caretaker Nadine,” Scruff said awkwardly.

“What brings you past so soon after your last visit?” Nadine asked, pulling out a chair at one of the tables and sitting down.

“Just delivering a message to Percy,” Scruff shrugged. “Thought I’d come to say ‘Hi’ and see how Bouncer was getting on.”

“Boss?” Bouncer called. “If I get my seeds, can you have a look at them for me?”

“Sure!” Scruff said. “I was hoping you’d have something interesting to show me.”

“Be right back!” Bouncer rushed out the door, leaving the two of them alone.

“Well, this isn’t awkward at all!” Nadine laughed brightly as the door slowly swung shut.