Alright so, J1st's recent review has troubled me in many ways. It is both good and bad at the same time, since now I am starting to question myself and where this story is going. Here are my thoughts about it.
He makes some fair points about the unbalanced tempo and drastic changes in tone. However this is a biproduct of Vesper's mental instability and since we are viewing the world through her eyes most of the time it tends to tint things. As you may notice, the Interlude chapters are typically far darker than the Vesper chapters simply because that is the real world and is not being influeced by Vesper's many coping mechanisms/ random thoughts. And yes, sex SEX SEX is a coping mechanism. incase you were wondering.
As for the nuances of characters like Molotov and the like, if you don't read closely it is very easy to miss the tell tale signs of what she is thinking since the Interlude chapters are not specifically in people's heads. In case you were wondering, yes Molotov cares about Vesper, however Molotov is also evil and manipulative. She was employing the carrot and stick approach to Vesper in case you did not realize.
There was some talk of Wish fullfillment in the review as well. Not really sure how to take that considering that I am holding back a lot specifically so that it doesn't just turn into a full blown erotica where Vesper is having wild, detailed tentacle orgies and amassing a harem to fill with eggs and take over the world. Instead I have actively been crushing her hopes and dreams as well as clam jamming/cock blocking her. I like to let the hope fill her eyes and then smash it, makes things much more emotional. I mean hell, I killed off Astrea 2 chapters ago and trust me on this, she is not the last to die in this story.
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He likes Captain Metal... surprising considering just how one dimensional and generic he is. He might as well be a cookie cutter antagonist. The only thing even mildly interesting about him is his hatred for Subhumans and he was in a rock band, Subhumans killed said bandmates. That is it, that is literally his whole back story. I guess he is easy to understand, even skim readers could get him down to a tee.
So I have a few questions, are the arc transitions too jarring? They tend to open up with either Vesper having a strange dream or an interlude, or if it is a continued arc it just picks up where the last one left off.
The main problem that I have with fixing said flow would be well, Vesper's insanity. In order to make the story more cohesive then Vesper herself would have to be changed. Now there are several options for this, assuming it is a problem currently. Personally I don't think it is problem lately, but I could be wrong. The steady decline of viewers is telling me something is wrong.
1: we do nothing to her and continue as we were. Eventually, I will do revisions and edits to earlier content.
2:I go back and do extensive revisions to earlier arcs, before moving forward. Vesper will be less perverted and have less random thoughts.
3: we start a reboot that is darker, gritterier, less comedy though there will still be some, and follows a diverging story line. This would be the Vesper as a villain version. Currently we are in the neutral story, since I have thought up what would happen depending on which faction she ended up in by the end of the story.
Other than that, any thoughts or concerns? Also be sure to read J1st's review and tell me what you guys think. I am not organizing a witch hunt here so don't start bashing him, he made some fair points and I want to address them, just not entirely sure how. Just looking for feed back and wondering where to go from here. Questions in general are welcome. Be sure to comment and I will get back to you, also I might answer spoilerish questions, if you have them.