The Vespidian

Arc 7, Healthy Green Glow, Chapter 13

“Astrea, Astrea. Yes, your name is Astrea. Do you understand?” I asked, placing my hand on her hardened bosom.

She didn’t seem to be getting it. Astrea just tilted her head, puzzled over my actions. I know she can talk, is she just playing stupid? Hmm. I don’t really get it. I must keep trying.

“Vesper,” I said, placing my hand on my chest. “Me, Vesper. Vesper.”

I had seen this in some movies… doesn’t appear to be working too well. It is almost like she is a child. Well, she didn’t have anybody to teach her, so she is probably developmentally retarded. Poor, poor thing. Having to be all alone down here. I won’t leave you. It is not your fault, not your fault at all. Her mandibles clicked and she wetly licked my hand. Not really what I was going for, but at the least she is affectionate. She was fairly happy from the smell that she had been emitting. I pet her on the head.

Better try again, she at the least must have a name and come to it, “Astrea, A-st-rea. You are Astrea.”

Her mouth bits moved, watching mine. Was she mimicking? She seemed to be trying so hard. It took a few minutes of back and forth to get results, “Aaass… Assttrraaa. Astrea.”

“You… you said it! Good job Astrea. Good girl. Who is a good girl?” I said in an exaggerated voice, stroking her under the chin. It feels like I am training a dog.

She repeated, seemingly proud of herself. “Astrea.”

“Yes, yes. Good girl. Astrea,” I said pointing at her.

She smiled, pointing at me, “Astrea.”

“No,” I wagged my finger at her and then I pointed to myself, then back to her. “Vesper, me Vesper. I am Vesper. You are Astrea.”

Her mouth opened, then closed. She seemed to be thinking it over. My hopes rose up when she pointed to herself only to be dashed on the rocks of disappointment, “Veee-sssper?” She pointed at me, “Astrea.”

Oh for Helix’s sake. She is just copying me and not actually understanding what I am saying. This is going in circles. Ugh, I was never good at teaching children. I have to get her to associate my name with me and her name with her. But, how? For fuck’s sake a blind and deaf person learned language, how fucking hard can it be? Wait, Helen Keller. How did she learn to communicate? The first word that she learned was… water? Well, worth a shot.

I took her hand gently and led her over to the glowing pool of toxic liquid. I wish there was a better source around here, but I really needed to get this taken care of. I splashed her hand in it and said, “Water.”

She looked at me like I was an idiot. Hey you, this for your benefit. I kept trying, splashing my hand and her hand in the glowing goo. All the while I kept saying, “Water.”

Eventually, it seemed to click. She replied, “Wahhter.”

“Yes, yes. That is right. Good job Astrea.”

“Astrea!” She happily said, pointing at the water… she still doesn’t get it.

Maybe there is something else I can use? Water doesn’t seem to work. Well, if she is anything like me then food would do the trick. Oh, oh right, food. Of course, how could I be so blind? I looked around, only roaches. I think that she eats these things anyway, so this should work. I picked up a roach and dangled it in front of her. This got her attention far more the water had. Her eyes followed it and she touched her antennae to it. She plucked it from my grasp and started munching down on it.

“Bad!” I yelled and smacked her on the head, she dropped it and retreated a couple steps, whimpering. “Bad Astrea. Did I say you could eat that?!”

I picked up the half eaten roach and she cowered away when I approached. I held it in front of her again and she wearily smelled it once more. “Cockroach. Cockroach.”

She seemed to be thinking it over, slowly she pointed at it. “KKHHH KHH Khhoo”

“Yes, yes, you can say it, I believe in you.” I grinned excitedly.

She wore a blissful face and declared, “Khock!”

I blushed a little. Cock eh? She looked so adorable, saying cock for the first time. Such a dirty girl already learning about the adult matters in life while barely being able to speak. Me and my dirty mind, she doesn’t even know what it means. Wait a minute… well, I did say cockroach she is on the right track.

It reminds me of when I was like five or six and couldn’t say stick, instead I kept saying dick. I remember getting into a fight with some of the neighbor kids and I ended up beating them up with a big stick that I had found on the ground. Then I went home and when my mom asked how I had gotten so dirty, I told her it was because of the big dick I had found in the woods and I had used it to beat off all my friends. Yeah, that didn’t go over well with mom. I got grounded for a month. I also got in trouble at school a few times for running around with a stick and declaring that I had the biggest dick of them all. Nowadays it is a little embarrassing, but I can laugh about it. Back then I didn’t know any better.

How, how odd. I just remembered something about my childhood. Up until now, it had just been this sea of darkness that I had somehow managed to crawl my through. Mom and I used to be pretty close huh? I smiled for about half a second, until I remember exactly who had beaten me and called me monster not too long ago. Well, not like getting hit by plastic dongs could really do anything to my carapace. Why do I remember these things now of all times?

Is this my maternal instinct kicking in since I am trying to care for Astrea? Shouldn’t these roles be reversed? I mean, she is older than me right? Well, at the least been a Vespidian longer since she is more developed. If there was one, maybe there are more of my kind skulking around? I mean something gave birth to Astrea, unless she was like me and got mutated. This brings me back to my old question, how long has she been down here? I really wish that she could talk. I suppose it will take time.

“Good Astrea,” I pet her on the head and fed her the roach.

She didn’t smell of wet dog anymore, so that was good. It meant that she was not scared anymore. She happily munched away and I procured another of the large insects, “Cockroach.”

“Cockaroo roooach? Cock cockroach?” she repeated, unsure at first, but once she said it, I handed over the incapacitated critter and she tore it apart.

Watching her devour these disgusting creatures as though they were high-class cuisine was honestly making me realize exactly how hungry I was. My stomach snarled. Ah, running on empty here. She pushed the juicy abdomen chocked full of eggs over to me. Is, is she feeding me? I was genuinely touched. I mean she shared her food with me. This certainly is the most nutritious part of a roach, the brood. I was hungry enough that just about anything would do at this point. People eat fish eggs and stuff all the time, don’t they? It can’t be that bad, can it?

I pulled one of the larvae away from the rest. It was still inside of the warm casing. Wearily, I licked it, just to see what it tasted like. Surprisingly, it actually wasn’t that bad. It didn’t taste much different than a raw chicken egg. Except it was a little crunchy. I chewed, pulling it in bit by bit until the whole three-inch long egg was gone. Now that my apprehension was gone there was nothing to save the rest of the eggs. This was survival of the fittest after all.

Besides, this one pregnant roach had over three hundred eggs in the hardened casing that it would have left somewhere. Thinking about it rationally it is a good thing that I am killing these. If left unchecked the population would explode. If the big ones are like the little ones, then a single adult female can have ten thousand offspring in a year. That is a whole lotta bugs. If it wasn’t for the other mutants down here, then I get the feeling the streets would have been overrun already. Watching all that Animal Planet is really paying off.

Now the next part that needed to come, teaching her that certain things were friends, not food. Like Whiskers for instance. My ratty little friend had taken some distance due to my new friend. He was, well to be frank scared shitless of her. I didn’t particularly blame him either, since for all I know she eats rats. At any rate, this was going to be a bonding moment to be sure. He tried to run when he realized what I had planned. Really, it was too late and I tackled him. My arms coiled around him and I lifted him up. He squalled and squeaked the whole while.

We arrived before my lovely Astrea and she turned, sizing up the rat, as to be expected. I pointed to his mangy fur, “Now Astrea. This is Whiskers. Whiskers is a friend, not food.”

She thought on it until I saw a light in her eyes. It appeared that she had an epiphany. She pointed to him, “Wh-whist-whiskers?”

She is learning rather quickly, isn't she? That is kinda scary. Faster than me? Maybe not though, my problem is lack of motivation. When I really try I catch onto stuff pretty fast. Must be that giant brain doing work. I smiled, patting her, “Yes, good girl. Whiskers. You said it right.”

She put out her hand expectantly… uh oh. She thinks he is food. I mean, I fed her before so now she is expecting it. I gave her another roach… she crushed it and is now licking her lips while eyeing Whiskers.

“No!” I flicked her antennae and she winced. I wagged my finger in her face, “Bad, that is a bad Astrea! Whiskers is not food.”

She took a moment, looking at him and flopped her feelers onto him, smelling. She let out a strange chattering sound and then I realized, she was speaking rat. Whiskers replied with his own squeaks and the two began to converse. Oh, so they were going to sort it out themselves? Now I felt like the stupid one, not knowing what was going on. She growled lowly and started clicking her mandibles together, making a sharp sound. Whiskers didn’t like that at all and his squeaks turned to high pitched squeals of what I could only assume was him pleading for his life. She was threatening him, definitely making threats.

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This is extortion you know. Blackmail maybe? Did they have a drug deal that went south? Don’t tell me Whiskers owes you money for his gratuitous gambling debts and binge drinking?! What, he is also a low down dirty playboy who gets all the ladies and frequents strip clubs, making it rain every night with your money? What is that, he is a total animal in the sack? What, you guys had a threesome? Who was the third wheel? How daring. Oh, so you are out for revenge because he broke your maiden heart? Well, I guess we can kill him then… wait a minute.

Something is fishy about this, what strip clubs?! What am I thinking? This is a wild animal and a somewhat feral bug person. Stop it over active imagination! Just cause I don’t know what they are saying doesn’t mean I can just make stuff up. I don’t think they had a deal. Granted, they might come to some sort of understanding at the end of this.

Whiskers was looking a bit pale and his hair was standing up. Scared for certain. He was awfully fidgety and I get the feeling he was getting ready to run. Their exchange had been reduced to growls and hissing now. Uh oh. That doesn’t look good at all. Whiskers looked like he was ready to launch himself into an attack. Don’t do it you fool! I am not worth it, don’t fight over me you two. She will crush you like a grape, a very hairy grape. Just when I thought it was going to come down to teeth and claws and inevitably Whiskers getting munched on, they came to an understanding. They both looked at me and then Whiskers extended his paw and Astrea shook it…

What the fuck did I just watch? Where did she learn how to shake? I never taught her that. What are these two scheming? Don’t tell me they decided to put their differences aside and eat me together? I am just an emergency food ration to these two, aren’t I? Don’t you look at me like I am a piece of meat. This is shady, this is seriously sketchy. What are they up to? They didn’t really put up aggressive postures, so maybe I am not on the menu… unless. No, that is silly. I don’t even want to think about that being an option. They probably just agreed that since I am so nice they would to be friends for my sake. MM, mm. I nodded to myself. Yup, yup that is definitely what it is.

Whatever just happened, they seemed to have made a truce for now. I suppose that will have to do. I stood up and shimmied onto Astrea’s back. Her tentacles lovingly coiled around me. Ohhhh, save it for the honeymoon or for that matter the wedding, will you? Whiskers is watching, keep it PG. Now that I was getting a nice close look at these things, they were pretty impressive. Each was about the thickness of an adult woman’s arm and it was all throbbing muscle. Oh my, they are all slimy too. I quivered a little. Be still my beating hearts. Tentacles, my only weakness, how did you know? If she had come at me with these things from the start, we would probably still be rolling around, making love in her lair.

Our little trio made our way along the dank, dripping tunnel searching for a way out. Or rather I was, the other two didn’t really know what they were doing. I could hardly wait. Once we escaped, then I would have to plead with Neon Nurse so that I could keep Astrea. I mean, I could keep her in a box under my bed. I know she would take us in. Astrea would probably get probed and explored with various instruments, but, but that is ok. We would be together. My delusions of writhing joyously together were interrupted. By what? I am not entirely sure myself.

“Crikey mate! Look at the fun bags on that one.” said a female voice from somewhere. It sounded a bit accented.

I perked up, looking around. My antenna wiggled to try and discern where it had come from. I don’t see anything. Or for that matter smell people. Astrea didn’t seem to have noticed it. I asked, “He-hello? Is somebody here?”

The voice didn’t really reply, though it had come from over to my side somewhere, looks like the left path. I don’t sense anyone though. I looked over at Whiskers, who wearily kept an eye on Astrea. I don’t really blame him too much, she did try to eat him. He didn’t notice anything strange either or he would have reacted. So is it just me? Am I just hearing things? But that clearly sounded like some weirdo Australian woman.

‘Sub you heard that too, right?’

Yeah?

‘Why do you not sound sure?’

I am getting weirded out here.

‘Don’t tell me there is a new entity emerging from my mind.’

No, no, no it is certainly not that I would know.

‘Well, if it is not you, and it is not me, and it is not some newcomer in my head then… who the hell is it?’

Sub just shrugged, I don’t know. Maybe we are just hearing things. You know getting a little stir crazy cause we want to talk to somebody.

‘Ah, that explains it. I did start going a little loony back there. Here I thought you were going to say something like this place is haunted. Silly me.’

Ghosts? Who believes in ghosts? Don’t be silly.

Sub was right. Ghosts, pfft. Who believes in ghosts? I mean there are zombies, but that is different. It is not like this place is haunted by all the lost souls of people who lost their lives down here. I chuckled inwardly to myself and then I felt something poke me in the ass. I glanced over my shoulder to see what did it. Nothing, well I can’t say that there were tentacles, but none of them were on my booty. I eyed Astrea who just looked at me with a sheepish smile. Getting all touchy-feely eh? I know I have a nice ass, but now really isn’t the time for that.

I gave her a low growl and she looked away scared. I am not in the mood damn it. “Come on Astrea, we have to find a way out of here. I have to find somewhere safe to keep you.”

“Oh, so the little lass is dominant. She doesn’t seem too receptive to sexual advances from her partner. Maybe we can help em out, eh?” said that disembodied voice from right next to me.

I screamed and jumped back, struggling my way free of the tentacles, “Who is there!? I can hear you. Where are you? What are you planning?”

Nobody is there and my outburst startled Astrea. She was looking around scared. Whiskers got agitated. Well, it didn’t help that me and Astrea were drenching the area in the stench of fear. She was only scared cause I was scared. I have to calm down. Think rationally. There has to be a reason for this, so don’t be so freaked- something just touched me?!

“Her fanny is surprisingly supple. I thought it would be ‘ard and bony.” Said that weirdo while something was kneading my cheeks.

“Stop touching me you perverted ghost! Stranger danger, stranger danger!” I yelled, flailing my arms in every direction. That seemed to do the trick, I scared it off. Can ghosts, even get scared? Oh no, it is toying with my emotions!

The voice came from a little bit away from me, “Danger, danger, danger, seems she can sort of detect me. Hmm, but it is only the little one. Very peculiar. We will have to test this.”

Astrea came over to me, placing a hand on me out of concern. We both looked around, to no- there was a stick, no, a broken pipe floating in mid air. I stared at it, it stared back, seemingly freezing from being spotted. I started getting curious over that. Wearily, I approached and it didn’t move an inch. I touched it and it fell to the floor. I am getting weirded out here.

“Look at the derriere on this one.” Said the voice from behind me.

I turned and Astrea was looking a little concerned over the magical floating stick, prodding at her ass. She was so perplexed by it that she was like a deer in the headlights and had frozen up instead of attacking it. Hey! Stop that, that is my booty! I growled, charging over. I swiped at the air behind the stick and didn’t hit a damned thing. The poking stick fell lifeless to the ground. This can only mean one thing. G-G-G-GHOSTS!

Reee!!! I screeched running away.

“Run, Astrea, run! There is a perverted ghost!”

She didn’t really understand what was going on, but she quickly followed me. Whiskers had already bolted ahead of us, squealing. Well, cowards are smart, that is why they live so long.

“Crikey! Seems they’ve been spooked. Quick little buggers. Don’t you worry gang, I won’t lose em.”

“Stop following us!” I yelled at the voice.

We ran around the corner and came to the intersection that I had come to when Astrea had been chasing me before. That one corridor was still overgrown with those Tubifex worms, so that was out of the question. We could go back where I met her, but I think that is a dead end. Then I suppose the only way left to go would be down the culvert path. We slogged through the waste waters approaching the other side. What looked like a bulkhead had been torn off of the hinges and tossed to the side. The structure here had been smashed open by someone or something. Whatever it was, it had claws from the deep grooves left in the cement.

Astrea slowed down, I tugged at her, but she would not continue. Was she scared of whatever creature did this? Then, does that mean that there is something even scarier than her down here? No matter how I tried to pull her to get through that broken doorway, she just kept shaking her head reluctantly and saying, “Scared. Scared. Astrea scared.”

While normally I would be very proud that she just expressed a coherent thought with words, however, now was not exactly a good time. I looked back where we had come from, nothing. Well, not like I had ever seen the ghost, to begin with. I listened and smelled. Nothing, but sewer stank and dribbly water. Maybe I was just blowing this all out of proportions. I looked back at Astrea and her eyes were glued to something across from us. For that matter, Whiskers was snarling too.

“G’day love,” smiled a lit up woman’s face across from us.

Ngh! I hurled a chunk of concentrated goo at her and the floating head vanished, not getting hit. The glob splattered against the wall. I smelled for a moment and realized, wait I know that smell. It, it is one of Chief’s suits. Then, wait a minute. Then that one of the heroes. Why the fuck have they been terrorizing us?

“Hey, hey! You are a hero, right?”

“Sheila, I is,” whispered a voice in my antenna from right next to me. I jumped like a scared cat and splashed down in the grungy liquid.

“Stop sneaking up on us!” I yelled at her.

“Why? You are knock me dead funny to fuck with, you know that?”

“I am not having fun!”

“Well, I certainly am.”

“Show yourself.”

“I did, but you threw things at me.”

“That is cause you scared me.”

“I suppose that is enough fun for now. As I said before I is Sheila, pleased to meetcha,” she said, materializing right in front of me with an extended hand.

Warily, I took it and she stepped so that there was some distance between her and Astrea. She was cautious, to say the least. I had a lot of questions.

“Did you come here to rescue me?”

“Me? Nah, came here to goof off. Was very successful too, might I add. You are very entertaining to watch by the way.”

“So you mess with people for fun.”

“Sure. Bloody ‘ell of a good time. I didn’t think I was actually going to run into you down ‘ere, but since I did, suppose I will have to drag you home with me.”

“Oh, umm. Is everyone alright? What happened with the spiders?”

Sheila laughed a little and I realized that her right eye was mechanical and there was a scar going up her face. I guess she had lost it at some point. I kinda wondered what had done that, but it seemed touchy to ask.

“Don’t you worry bout our mates, they took care of them Cheeky Cunt Spiders. Only lost a couple swat members.”

“Swat members? Did Catherine get out ok?”

“Fire Crotch? Yah, she is knocking around. Don’t get your knickers in a twist, she is fine.”

“Fire Crotch?”

“Yeah, that is what Sweeper called her so. At any rate, she and most everybody else is Ace. It was just you who was flopping about on the deck like a fish.”

“Well, that is a relief.”

“So, who is this lovely lady? If I remember correctly, you were supposed to be the only one,” asked Sheila and I froze up.

My mind swam as I tried to think of excuses, I couldn’t really think of anything. Astrea interrupted my silence, pointing at me and then her. “Vesper. Astrea.”

Sheila paused for a moment, “Astrea eh? What an interesting name. Pleased to meetcha.”

She smiled and extended her hand to shake. Astrea looked at it for a moment and then she growled, taking on an aggressive stance. Seriously, what the hell did those two shake hands over? Sheila pulled out a strange looking pistol, aiming it for one of Astrea’s larger eyes. Oh shit, that escalated quickly. I can’t just let my future mate die here. I got in between them, waving my hands to break it up.

“What are you two doing?! Bad Astrea!” I shouted and she warily backed down. “Sorry about that, she is very protective.”

“Not very sociable eh?”

“Not yet, I am teaching her though.”

Sheila lowered her gun, she rocked her head back and forth, thinking about something. She smiled after a moment, there was something off about that grin. “Oh, so it is like that. So, what are you going to give me to keep your friend a secret?”

My mouth instantly got dry, “Are… are you blackmailing me?”

“Blackmail is such a nasty word. I prefer calling it a favor.”

“What do you want?” I cringed.

She pat me on the shoulder and her grip tightened. She looked me dead in the eyes and smirked, “What are you willing to give?”