Arc 7 Healthy Green Glow, Chapter 5
The radio buzzed and a chorus of women started snapping and singing, “Lollipop, lollipop oh lolli loli lolli lollipop, lollipop lollipop oh lolli lolli lolli lollipop.”
The engine roared on the outside of the B-52. I stared out the plexy glass at the dull grey sky. Clouds all around. They were out there, I knew they were. I rotated the turret, checking the guns to make sure they were loaded. To my sides the X-Wings stayed in formation and behind them were Y-wing bombers. The distant thunder of guns resounded. I nodded and we banked in for a strafing run. Flak filled the air. Suddenly, from above, they appeared, Nazis riding pterodactyls! I should have known.
“Get em’ boys!” I shouted and all hell broke loose.
I opened up on them, firing the duel kitten cannons. The rapid fire, heavy thuds shot out the furry little love balls. The pink tracers grazed through the formation of winged terrors. Several went down, but they kept coming. Oh, no. These aren’t normal Nazis, Space Nazis! Their laser Gatling guns lit up, tearing through my wing man. The X-Wing exploded, sending shrapnel through the air.
The women kept clapping and singing, “Call my baby Lollipop, tell you why, her kiss is sweeter than a cherry pie and when she doesn’t shake, she rock and dance. Man, I haven’t got a chance. I call her Lollipop Lollipop oh lolli lolli lollipop.”
“Stay on target!” I shouted over the radio.
“I can’t shake em!” cried another as the craft turned into a fireball.
“Do a barrel roll, use the boost to get through!”
The others broke off drawing away enemy fire. There was safety in numbers, but like this, they might as well be shooting fish in a barrel. I still had a few chasing me, screeching with those razor sharp teeth. The pilots waved their laser guns. Looks like trouble.
Lasers cut through my ship, leaving holes whistling from the wind. Everybody knows the B-52 was a hardy beast of burden. It will take more than that to bring us down. Is that the best you got you filthy fascists?! I lined up the iron sights and let loose another volley of fluffy critters. More of the Luftwaffe went down with clipped wings and explosions down below the cloud bank. The guns glowed red hot from the rate in which the kittens were being hurled at them.
A shrill screaming sound rose up from outside. I rotated trying to see where it was coming from. From the fluffy pink clouds above the Red Baron emerged, with Hitler manning the machine guns. The bullets slammed through our wing and an engine exploded, sending a dark trail of smoke following in our wake. The whole plane went into a tailspin. Sub managed to pull us out and straighten it out. It listed to the side, but we stayed in the air with three engines still going. You’re good, but I am butter!
“Choke on this, cock bags!” I roared opening up on them.
My kittens rocketed out of the barrel, shredding the wings of the old biplane. Hitler leapt off, landing on the roof of my plane. Oh hell nah! I turned the turret and pelted him with kittens, but they uselessly bounced off. You wanna play rough eh!? I climbed out raising my dukes to deal with this bastard. All four of my fists were ready. Ah shit. He had a Luger! I put my hands up. Seems I was in a pickle. How to get out of this? Ah ha!
“Surprise!” I brandished my abdomen and squeezed, squirting out a thick gunky ichor.
He clutched his face, “Mein eyes?!”
I closed the distance and smacked the gun from his hands. Hitler tried a right hook and I ducked it, sucker punching him in the kidney. While he was winded, I socked him right in the balls. Take that! I kept hitting him, but he wouldn’t go down. The plane rocked from a nearby explosion and I lost my footing, nearly falling off. My claws dug into the metal to keep me from going overboard.
“Take my hand!” he yelled, reaching for me.
“Wait, what?!” I yelled in confusion.
“Vesper, I am your father!”
“Noooo!” I screamed.
“It is true.”
“You lie! Eat my dick, cock monger!” I yelled, shaking my fist at him.
“Give me your waffles!”
“Never!”
“Vesper!” He yelled down at me, when suddenly his groin exploded.
What the hell just happened? I cranked my head, trying to see what happened and then I saw him, Robocop. He spun his bitchin pistol, saluting me. He was like a turret, just turning and shooting Nazis in the dick. Not sure why he was only shooting them there, but I was not complaining. I took advantage of Hitler’s vulnerable state. I climbed back over the side and decked him in the face. He went down like a sack of bricks and I got on top swinging down with my fists. He just wouldn’t fucking die! Wait, of course. How could I be so foolish? I must cut the source of his power!
“This is for the Jews!” I ripped off his little mustache and he screamed. With all four arms, I lifted him up, hurled him over the side, and flipped him off as he fell. Just like Palpatine, that is what you get for trying to Vader me! I watched him falling until he splat down below on the hard ground. I nodded in approval, the world is a better place now.
I just lay there for a bit listening to the wind screaming by. The radio happily continued through the bullet holes in the hull, “Sweeter than candy on a stick, huckleberry, cherry, or rye. If you had a choice she would be your pick, but the Lollipop is mine!”
“Almost there,” said Sub from the cockpit.
“We got company!” I yelled, sliding back into the turret as a whole fleet of fighters poured out of the clouds all around us.
More enemy fire stabbed through the metal and several shots even punched into my ball. I kept firing, sending the pink streaks across the dull gray sky, until the gun clicked out of ammo. Ah, dammit! I knew I should have packed more kittens. I dropped down out of the ball turret. The craft rocked from more lasers and bullets pelting the sides. I shimmied my way to the front and leaned over Sub, who sat in the pilot seat, smoking a corncob pipe. Her little captain hat was tilted to the side. Through the glass I could see the target, we were arriving at Normandy.
“Release the weapon!” declared Sub.
I pulled the lever and the bomb bay opened up. There was a delay and then the massive lollipops fell away, cascading like a waterfall of candy. The rainbow trailed the tail of the plane as we banked over the fighting lines of soldiers down below. Not even the Klingons, nor the Confederate soldiers who were bayonet charging the Nazis lines were spared. We got them all. The trenches lit up with explosions and in our wake, an avalanche of color rushed out from the rising mushroom cloud. It obliterated everything behind us, filling the world with cotton candy clouds, rainbows, unicorns and dancing flowers who were singing.
“We did it!” I shouted, hugging Sub.
Thus the Kitten Kingdom was safe once more from the evils of the Space Nazis riding dinosaurs. From the magical tentacle forest to the gumdrop and lollipop fields. The winding purple brick road stretched on down below. Distantly the floating castle silently stood contrasting the swirling colored skies. Moons and stars crested on one side while the sun lit up the other half. Mr. Sun was there raining raisins and whistling happily.
The plane flew off into the sunset while me and Sub rocked back and forth, snapping our fingers and singing along with the old radio, “Crazy way she thrills me, tell you why. Just like a lightning from the sky, she loves to kiss me till I can’t see straight. Gee, my Lollipop is great, I call her lollipop lollipop. Oh Lollipop lollipop, lolli lolli lolli lolli
***
“Vesper. Vesper!” said Chief, shaking me awake.
I snapped out of my comatose state and declared, pointing at the ceiling, “They can take our freedom, but they will never take our waffles!”
Wait, what the hell did I just say? Oh god, I was drooling and it was pooling in my helmet! It is everywhere. I need to drain it, but this is not really the place for that. Sure enough everybody in the briefing room was looking at me a little weird. I must have nodded off during the meeting. I knew staying up all night watching movies was a bad idea.
“Waffles? Who is trying to take your waffles?”
“I don’t know. I was having a really weird dream.”
“What the hell kinda dream brings that up?” asked Chief.
“Well, there were space Nazis riding dinosaurs and a battalion of Confederate soldiers bayonet charging a trench held by Klingons with bat’leths and I got in a fist fight with Hitler. And for some reason, Robocop was there shooting people in the dick. I was riding a unicorn and I had a laser gun that shot kittens. Also, I was naked, just letting it all hang out-”
Chief put his hand up, cutting me off, “Just stop. We get the picture. Moving on.”
I looked around. Everybody was giving me even stranger looks. Damn you over active imagination!
“Don’t mind me, I will be over in the corner,” I said, sulking into the shadows.
“As I was saying,” said Chief, clearing his throat. “Teams one to eight will be sweeping from the west Downtown access tunnels over to Brawny Park. Teams nine to sixteen will be starting in the Plaza and moving east converging with the others below Brawny Park. We will restock on Rad-Gone, then move north and enter the sub-sewer. Caution is advised the Atomic Raiders are down there and mutant animals are more prolific as well as more powerful. Use of lethal force against mutant animals is approved, however, use nonlethal means to capture Subhumans.”
Captain Metal spoke up, “Why the fuck are we going nonlethal? Those freaks need to be put out of their misery.”
“You sure do hate Subhumans,” I said, crossing my arms, “Just cause they have extra things doesn’t mean they deserve to die.”
“Their heads are the problem, they are insane. You realize they kidnap people and expose them to radioactive run off to make more mutants right?”
“I am not saying they don’t need to be dealt with, just killing seems to be a bit much.”
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“What would you do?”
I stopped myself from saying something stupid. The first thing that came to mind was to send them to jail, but there was a problem with that. If they really were kidnapping people, then that would mean there were innocent people caught up in the mix. It would be a little hard to tell who besides the higher ups were guilty of anything. I mean, it is not a crime to be a Subhuman, though some would disagree with me about that. What should we do with them? Shouldn’t we try to cure them and get them back to their families? Then again, I have not heard anything about someone ever getting cured.
I didn’t have an answer and so I deflected, “Why do you hate them so much anyway?”
That shifted the mood in the room a bit. Was that a topic I was supposed to avoid or something? It seems like everybody knows except me. Captain Metal had a rather somber scowl as he looked in my direction.
“Why do I hate Subhumans?” he asked pointedly, “They are the reason I am a hero in the first place. Someone has to keep innocent people safe from those monsters. I won’t let anyone go through what I did.”
“We should get rid of the bad ones, send them to jail. The rest, well, we should find somewhere to put them,” I said, thinking it over. I really wish I had a better idea for it.
Captain Metal nodded, “We can send them to the slums, with the rest of them.”
“No, not the slums. That wouldn’t solve anything. Glitter Kitten would rope them into crimes and stuff.”
Neon Nurse, who had been rather quiet this whole time spoke up, “We should send them to Dr. Arbor. She would house them and research their mutations.”
I shuddered, “I don’t know if I want to subject anyone to her.”
“She isn’t so bad.”
Dreamer interrupted us, “All captured subhumans will be shipped off to the Institute for study. There is no room for discussion on this, Ring Master’s orders.”
I would have said something to refute that, but Ring Master was a decent guy. So I assume he has his reasons. Besides, isn’t that where they send all super villains anyway? You can’t exactly have them in a normal jail, they would just break out. The nice people would probably get sorted out right away and helped. I would hope anyway. At any rate, it can’t be worse than what Dr. Arbor would do to them if she got her hands on them. Then again, she was saying things were pretty bad there, I mean she thought they were crazy. I just don’t know, not good at the logistics of this. If only there was like an uninhabited island out in the middle of the ocean that we could put them on so that they could just live in peace. That would be for the best I think. That way nobody would judge them.
Captain Metal seemed to be in a bad mood over bringing up Glitter Kitten. I guess they are still mad about not capturing her. He had something of a vendetta against her. Wait, it feels like I should know something about this. I was a total fangirl of this guy at one point. Everything is kinda fuzzy. Hmmm, I rubbed my chin, sifting through fragmented memories and recalled something. Oh, there was that, wasn’t there? There was an interview a few years ago and they had asked why he became a hero. His answer had been different than what I was expecting at the time.
It was a tragic origin story, I felt bad for him. I guess I do even now, to a degree. He is still an asshole. If I had to choose between saving him or a bag of puppies, it would be the puppies every time. What happened exactly? Well, the Mad Dogs killed his band mates. Yup, that was why I liked him back then. Captain Metal used to be in a Rock band, he was the guitarist and backup vocals. I can’t believe that I ever wanted to bang him. Then again, he was pretty sexy and that played a major role in why I wanted some of that. Ah, the young and foolish me.
Wait, I think I might be more cock struck these days than back then. I don’t recall ever salivating over juicy man meat. Stirring the honey pot maybe, but never drooling in a dickmatized trance, of that I am sure. Must be the hormones and pheromones. Speaking of which Panther’s anaconda looked pretty good today. Old Medavac was packing some heat too. You know, I want to give whoever decided to make skin tight suits the standard a big thumbs up. It certainly gives me a lot of eye candy and not just the guys there were a few ladies I wouldn’t mind tasting.
There was a certain red headed Cyber Swat member whose booty I found almost irresistible. It was the sort of thing I would enjoy squeezing and kneading. It might be an instinct, looking for a nice vessel for my eggs. At the least, I think that is what is going on here. I could be wrong though. There was also a bit of Sub wanting to dominate her. Seriously, I don’t know why she has it out for gingers. Was I picked on by a ginger at some point and forgot about it?
Neon Nurse was pretty good too, something tells me that she would modify her body however I liked. Still, she just didn’t feel right. Cold, lifeless, I guess I would compare her to a blow up doll if anything. She just didn’t smell right either. It was a bit off-putting, that plastic new car smell she had sometimes. What is she the Cadillac of love dolls or something? I would prefer something alive and kicking to be honest, like Glitter Kitten. That bitch was bumping, that is for sure. If only she wasn’t such a villainous skank. Hmm, I wonder how Neon Nurse would look with cat ears and tail? I might have to look into this. Neko Nurse, I like the sound of that.
“Any questions?” asked Chief. Ah shit, I was not listening at all. I guess I will just have to wing it. I would look like an idiot if I asked. As though reading my mind Chief, sighed, “Mecha Fairy did you understand everything?”
“Alright, you got me. So which group am I in and what do I do?”
“You are with Gnome, Neon Nurse, Sunshine, and a couple of the Cyber Swat members. Just follow her orders,” he said, turning away from me and pointing to the board, “This is day one, so we will try to clean up most of the upper levels today, then delve deeper tomorrow. It might take longer depending on what resistance we run into. Remember, if your suit gets compromised then get out. Don’t risk getting mutated. Check radiation levels often and be sure to backtrack to safe zones if you need a break. Slow and steady, we don’t need to rush.”
“Where are Disk and Squeeze going?”
“They are with me,” said Medavac from over to my side.
They were in pretty good hands then. Looks like I am in the girl squad. Everybody was in their under suits, which were basically a second skin with how thin they were. I could make out all the nice curves. I recognized certain creases as robotic limbs. Depending on the model it was rather obvious. Some were not made to look pretty and were stronger than more aesthetic models. Sunshine’s robo arm could be told apart by the slight groove where it connected to her stump. Neon Nurse though, she was seamless, almost as though she had been made out of a mold or something in one piece. That ginger was with us, the more I looked, the more enticing her toned booty was. I slapped myself, bad, bad Vesper. Keep it professional. At the least, ask her name and take her to dinner first.
“I am Catherine,” she said, extending her hand to shake.
What is she a fucking mind reader? Does she know what terrible things I want to do to her? Sub delightfully took the hand, shaking it vigorously. She ecstatically coupled the hands to the point that it was becoming a problem. Catherine was looking a little nervous and casting questioning looks at me with a shaky smile that I could tell was a front.
‘Hey, hey we talked about this. No handsies! Shake the damned hand, don’t diddle it. The way you’re feeling her up, she might get preggers. What is wrong with you? You are making us look weird.’
You do that all by yourself.
‘And I don’t need you making it worse. I will let you out to play later.’
You always say that.
‘Just calm down, will you? Be good and we will reward ourselves after this. Sounds good right?’
What sort of reward?
‘I will pursue a relationship. How does that sound?’
So we going to get a fuck buddy? You slut. We going for the D or the P, why not both?
‘Hey, you are the one who can’t keep it in our pants. I don’t know. We will decide that as we list our options. If we are going to do this, we will do it right and plan it out.’
I suppose that will be sufficient, but I get a say in this too.
‘We both know you would fuck anything.’
So? There is a tier list on this. Some things are more worthy of our time than others. I would much rather get a 10 than a 1.
‘Alright, alright. I will see what we can do.’
Her grip loosened and I managed to let go, “Mecha Fairy. Sorry about that, Catherine eh? You don’t have a Super Name?”
She looked a little embarrassed, “Well, I am not really a super. Just got some cyborg augments and a suit. Nothing really special about that.”
“I wouldn’t say that. You are still much better than a civi.”
She looked a little glum, “I feel a little useless, though. Like during the raid on the Sparkle Kat, it just felt like I was getting in the way. Besides, super strength is pretty common, well as far as powers go.”
“Just cause it is common doesn’t mean it is useless. It is about how you apply it right? You shouldn’t be comparing yourself to Subhumans, we get multiple powers, but we pay a heavy price both mentally and physically. People judge us a lot you know?”
“Oh, I know. I like Subhumans.”
“You do?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Hey, that is totally an in! Whispered Sub.
‘Not now Sub. What did we just get done talking about?’
I am just keeping our options open, ok? Maybe, I want to go oyster diving, you know, clam burgling. I kinda want to tear that bitch’s carpet up, did you ever think about that?
‘Well, cool your jets before you spook the woman. If I left you to your own devices, then her leg would be getting humped right about now.’
So? She has got some sexy legs.
‘What is with you anyway? You are way more pervy than usual. It was the pussy, isn’t it? You got a taste from Glitter Kitten and now you want more.’
Yeah, so? I want some action, and you are going to facilitate it. I don’t give a fuck if it Neon Nurse or Sunshine, we are fucking somebody! Hell, this Catherine bitch seems like a good lay. If you are that weirded out by it, we should start with almost strangers, easier to open up and it won’t be that weird if things get weird.
‘Ok, ok, we just talked about this. Please just calm down let me concentrate. I mean shit, we are about to go into a mutant infested sewer.’
Good, well then be the hero. Since you are so worried about what others think about us. Go on, live up to people’s expectations. We will finish this when this is done. You promised, don’t you dare chicken out again. If you do, so help me god, I will shove my dick so far into your brain I will take control of the body.
‘Sweet baby raptor Jesus, Sub that is uncalled for. I promise alright?’
Sub nodded, melding away into some corner of my mind. Catherine continued talking, thankfully she was not privy to my inner turmoil. Otherwise, I am sure that she would be beating me over the head with a ten-foot pole, “It really depends on the person I suppose. You seem like a nice girl. You are like a wasp monster, right?”
I gulped, “You know about me?”
“Yes, I have seen some pictures. I was on the rescue team to bring you home. We were not sure if you would be in the suit or not so, your identity has been leaked a little.”
“What did you think?”
“About?” she asked, looking around a little.
“About what I look like?”
“Oh, umm, not too sure. I mean you look normal enough like this. Do you really have an abdomen?”
I nodded and turned so that she could see my back, “Yeah, you can’t really tell since it is hidden on my back here. That is why the suit is so big and fat here.”
“So if you are a wasp, does that mean you have a stinger?”
“Sure do. You wanna see it?”
“Maybe some other time.”
“Alright, no problem.”
She ran her hand down my suit’s back, “Oh wow, this suit is seriously top of the line.”
“Thanks, Chief made it for me.”
“I helped,” said Neon Nurse, butting into the conversation and adding a little bit of an edge to her words, “Alright, enough flirting you two. We have a lot of ground to cover today.”
“Flirting?” asked Catherine.
“Yeah, I am getting sick of looking at it. You asked to see her stinger. That is like asking a man to whip out his dick. Don’t you know she is into guys and girls?” said Neon Nurse pointing at me. Catherine took a few steps back.
“I was not,” I flustered out.
“Don’t lie to me, I see your elevated readings. I understand, it is ok. If you have urges, don’t hesitate to come to me. We have talked about this.”
I reluctantly nodded. We have talked about it, but that doesn’t mean I really want her. I don’t know why, but it feels wrong to be like that with her. It will take getting used to.
Catherine looked me over, “so wait, you were hitting on me?”
“No, not yet anyway. I was trying to learn more about you. I mean you smell nice and have a pretty hot body.”
“Thanks, I guess. Look, I am not into girls,” flatly said Catherine, giving me a bit of a critical look.
Ah, there it is a stake to the heart. Now my self-esteem just got shot down. Was Neon Nurse jealous? It kinda seemed like it from all the attention I was showering on Catherine. She sabotaged me. Maybe I will go cry in a corner for a few hours over this embarrassment.
I tried to play it, wagging my hand, “Don’t worry about it. I am just learning to deal with all these hormones and stuff.”
She seemed to be thinking it over, “It is rough, isn’t it? I hear that is kind of a problem with Subhumans. Well, I am not really mad or anything, you just caught me off guard. I don’t exactly get hit on a lot, I certainly was not expecting it from you.”
“Wait,” I said, looking her up and down, “I find that hard to believe. With a body like that there is no way you are not getting action. I would eat that ass in a heartbeat.”
She blushed a little, ah ha direct hit! Neon Nurse grabbed my antennae. She dragged me along. Oh wow, now that was a serious cock block. Ow, those things are sensitive you know! It is like grabbing somebodies ear and their nose at the same time. Come on now, I was chipping away at her armor. Now she is going to start thinking about what it would be like and stuff. She was wondering about my abdomen, so she has to be curious.
“Bad Vesper!” said Neon Nurse and electricity shot through me. My legs seized up and I flopped to the ground. Ow, fuck. What the hell was that?
“What the fuck shocked me?”
“Your shock collar for when you get out of hand,” she replied, tugging a little, “Come along now, Vesper.”
“Why do I have a collar!?”
“Because you can’t be trusted after last time.”
“But, but that is not fair. I was child napped.”
“Too bad, it was mandated and I agree with it. You have to be controlled, we can’t let you run loose like before.”
“I am not a dog.”
“Then stop acting like a bitch in heat.”
“Don’t shock me, alright?”
“That is up to you.”
I glowered as she led me away. I am being treated like an animal. Well, I guess I deserved it there. I was acting like one.