Ever felt at loss on what your aim in life is? Want to indulge in mortal pleasure? Sometimes, when life gives you lemon, you just have to suck on it.

A quick method to get some b*ches is to go out and search for them.

But when you do, make sure to bring along a packet of raw potatoes and five dollars so you can take your capture b*ch out for some McDonald’s later.

And mind you, the term b*tch does not mean female dog, much less the derogative degradation of men or women or of any gender.

It’s a special term for bad-ass potatoes.

Make sure to Drink water alot cuz when you Thirsty, you can’t think straight. Gotta stay cool. The key to success is cocoa butters.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

When you fail at attaining some b*ches, don’t fret. Never Say Never. Just start giving your number out to people, give them a nice wink, and tell them to “Call Me Maybe?”.

Perhaps you might find yourself an Adele who’ll call you up and give you a “Hello, It’s me” punchline that very night! Believing is achieving.

This is going to be a short, and perhaps even super vague session, but tune back again for another clear and awesome session with PIMP MAMA!

*Logged out at 02:12:56 AM EST*