So you wanna make friends and some close buddies, but you're stuck being unsure how to do. 

But PIMP MAMA here will teach a few sure-fire tricks to get you going.

First, get the fuck outta your seat. 

Second, get the shit outta your house.

And lastly, find a living organism and say the magic word: "Hello."

But wait, that's only the most  normal and simple way of building up your brotherhood. The fastest way is this:

First, go out your house.

Second, find a stranger or object of interest.

Third, engage in a life and death battle. Avoid getting arrested. Avoid getting beaten up. Avoid dying. Avoid dem punches and kicks from your party of interest.

Fourth, survive the battle (with your desired brother/sisterhood partner, of course.)

Take a moment to tell them "hey, you're pretty strong for a [whatever prejudice you had when you first saw him/her]. I've finally met my match." 

This will strike deeply into the heart of your interested party. They will now proceed to feel a slight emotional gravitation towards you. You are very close to success.

Ask for their address or stalk them home if they refuse. Be open in your investigation. Being too stealthily is creepy and will get you arrested. This part of the instruction is a disclaimer and have no bearing on whatever the hell happens to you if you were to violate the law. But then again, if you did, then you would've simply got trapped in prison of Life. At that point, it'll be very hard for you to proceed to understand much of the other secrets which requires you to be crime-free. 

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

Now, all you have to do is go home and sleep. When you wake up again, go find the same person using the address they gave you. (or you "found by accident") 

Greet them and battle them another few rounds.

At the end of your battles, you would've bonded deeply with your interested party. 

The battle scars are the links to your connection. 

coNGRAts, you have just successfully created a brother/sisterhood partner(s). Now proceed to talk and chat like normal friends and live the rest of your life with an assured buddy. 

Tune in again for another session of PIMP MAMA. I got simply too many amazing secrets ready to be revealed to the world. ;)

*Logged out on 13:31:13 AM EST*