Few words can describe how wonderful a paradise is after years and years of loneliness, sadness, anger, and torture. Nothing could take me from that realm where everything was so perfect and idyllic and designed to make me happy.

There was no conflict or danger around for miles, and most importantly, I had my Caerwyn—the man of my dreams who I had never forgotten about after all this time.

I loved every bit of him. I loved his golden hair that looked for all the world like it was made of sunbeams, I adored his freckles, and I loved how he made me feel good about myself—how he buried me in compliments and showered me in love like no one else did. All I needed to do for him to love me was exist, and there was nothing more comforting and beautiful than that. He knew exactly what to say and do to keep me happy.

“Do you know what I like best about you?” Caerwyn asked me lovingly.

I waited with bated breath for him to tell me.

“I love your antennae and how one is slightly more droopy than the other! It’s so cute I can’t stop looking at it!” He told me as he kissed the one that was droopier.

I giggled and blushed at that.

“You know what else I love?” He whispered. “I love how you always treated humans and moths the same. You never thought of me as a monster no matter how poorly you were treated by humans. You always loved me too, right?”

I grinned and tucked my head under his chin. “Of course… You’re perfect. I thought you were too perfect for someone like me. Do you know something? You gave me something irreplaceable.”

“What’s that?” He replied.

The word was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t remember what it was suddenly. I chuckled. “I can’t remember, but it was the most important thing in the world.”

“It’s an honor to give the most important thing in the world to the most important girl in the world! Did you know the sun only rises and sleeps when you do? It felt like I was dead when you weren’t around. It was torture to love you and… And to want to touch you and make love to you and never be able to.” Caerwyn confessed with some difficulty.

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“I remember you being away from me, but I don’t remember when or how…” I said confusedly, and he confessed that he did not remember either.

I turned my face away from him—overly flattered by how much he loved me—there was someone else in my life who was quite different from him… Someone who had trouble showering me in love and compliments like he did, but someone who instead needed me to do that for him. I couldn’t remember who it was.

It didn’t matter.

The realm of desire shifted and change again like before with the mountain, and suddenly, before us materialized a little spring of clear water.

Caerwyn stepped in first and held out a hand to me. I looked into the water curiously as I took his hand and saw something that made me extremely self conscious.

A memory flashed. A sword slicing downward and carving right down the center of my face. I screamed in fear.

Caerwyn stepped out of the water and took me in his arm. “What’s wrong?”

“I… There was a sword and…” I cried.

He kissed my forehead. “We’ve never been in battle, sweet girl. Don’t cry.”

I breathed in deeply and buried my head further within his naked chest until his arms strangled any bad memories from mind. I took his hand after a moment and stepped into the spring with him.

__

In the realm of desire, we could not tell what time it was. It was never day or night and was something in-between. We went to sleep and woke up whenever we wanted to. I awoke with a feeling of utter peace and comfort as I had been doing since I arrived in the realm of desire.

My eyes fluttered open, and I thought about getting up, but I was so comfortable on Caerwyn’s chest that I closed them again.

I felt something land on my head, however, and I sat up slowly with a stretch. I enjoyed the lovely red, lustful lighting for a moment before I saw a dove fly by overhead. There was something about that dove that was important that I couldn’t remember.

I looked down and my eyes lingered on Caerwyn’s missing arm.

My mind flashed to a large, black dove leaping at Caerwyn’s arm.

I gasped.

Caerwyn woke up and yawned. “Just what are you doing up?”

“Caerwyn, how did you lose your arm?” I asked him. “I can’t remember.”

“Pretty girl, it’s always been missing. Why are you worrying so much? You should go back to sleep.” Caerwyn said drowsily as we both laid back down.

“But how did it happen?” I asked.

He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Why should we bother with unpleasant things?”

I realized he was right and I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

__

It was all wonderful for such a long time, until I saw them one day when Caerwyn and I were dipping our hands into water from a clean river that had materialized and it slipped through my fingers.

“Cracks…” I said sadly.

Caerwyn looked at me confusedly. “Cracks?”

I nodded. “Don’t you fear them?”

Caerwyn looked very angry and answered, “why should I fear cracks? There are no cracks in a paradise like this.”

I watched him go sadly as I saw the ruby ring on my finger and hugged my stomach in sadness.

I was beginning to remember.