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Chapter 32

As Paris went about his day, he included me in everything—holding my hand as we travelled around the castle. Many people jeered and looked disgusted at our holding hands, and many people whispered mean things about me, but Paris kissed my cheek reassuringly and allayed my fears.

Our first stop was Mass. I had never had Mass in the presence of the humans before. I had it at different times of the day by myself as suggested by the physician. She told me she thought it best for my health for me to pray alone so the humans would not mock or say cruel things to me. As I entered the beautiful chapel, I heard voices all around me.

“He let a heathen moth come pray with us!” Said one.

“She will curse the kingdom!" Said another.

She worships evil, false gods!” Said yet another.

I grasped Paris’ arm worriedly, but he wrapped one of his arms around my shoulder comfortingly. “I won’t let them harm you.”

As we came out of the chapel, no one approached Paris or made conversation with him. They whispered quite a bit about him, too, however, and Paris looked down sadly as they did.

“You should go to them, Your Majesty. You should make friends!” I suggested, trying to lift both of our dour moods. “I’ll be there with you.”

He nervously replied, “I detest them.”

My face fell, but I let it be at that, trying not to push him. If I wanted to keep his affection and loyalty, I had to play him perfectly.

After that, Paris told me he was going to meet with his royal council about important public and political matters. He told me his council would not be happy with a woman—much less a moth—tagging along with him, so I decided to go to the garden while he was at his meeting.

On the way there, I saw a noblewoman dressed in a fine green gown wave at Terry who was guarding one of the many castle halls and he blushed and waved back.

“Who was that?” I asked him.

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“She’s to be the new duchess of Auren to the north.” Terry explained. “Paris plans to make her husband the new duke tonight.”

I frowned. I had been to Auren with my siblings once. It was once a beautiful moth duchy ruled over by my uncle. The white-leafed Farren trees that grew there were one-of-a-kind, and I remembered playing with my siblings in them.

I tried not to let my thoughts take me down that path. Instead I said to Terry with a grin, “does she like you?”

Terry shook his head. “My Lady, no! She is married!”

I giggled at that and continued to the garden. Nobody was there at this time of day and I sat down and held Caerwyn’s sapphire in my hand with my legs pulled up to my chest.

I was just so lonely without my family.

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I had a lovely day with Paris until afternoon descended upon us. We ate breakfast by ourselves after he was done with his council meeting, and then he asked me to join him in the great hall where his court would gather. There were so many noblemen and women that I felt overwhelmed and very shy and nervous! I had never been among his court before except when we had eaten dinner with them at our wedding. Since then, the physician had told me that it would be too much stress to join the court in conversation.

I stood slightly behind Paris fearfully as he greeted many members of his court.

Some of them were pleasantly surprised to see me and greeted me kindly, and others actively avoided me and jeered at me. Many noblemen harried Paris with requests, and he either flat out refused them or said he would address their concerns in his royal council.

He heard much news of his father, and many people consoled him on his mother’s death. None of them showed him much warmth, however.

He simply refused to smile or stand up straight and he had that ugly glower on his face! I simply had to coach him!

I, for the most part, was silent and listened in on conversations hoping to hear some bit of gossip or news I could use to my advantage in furthering my goals while I nervously hid behind Paris.

Moth slaves went around serving wine the entire time along with trays of cheese and other delectable foods. A particularly young one accidentally spilled wine on the same to-be duchess who Terry had waved at earlier.

The woman shrieked and kicked the slave furiously.

I gasped aloud as the whole court—including Paris--laughed at the poor moth slave who was weeping and frantically apologizing to the wicked woman. The woman raised her hand and smacked the slave maliciously.

I wondered where my courage had gone. I had rescued my sister from that disgusting pig trying to molest her, but for this poor boy, I could only stand with my knees shaking in fear amongst the cruel courtiers.

I was too much of a coward to rescue this boy from ridicule because he was not family, and I did not know him.

I looked at Paris with disgust and he stopped laughing when he noticed I was. He had forgotten I was a moth. He reached out his hand to try and keep me from leaving his side, but I was already heading out the double-doors of the great hall.

I will write again later.